Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Good Morning Everyone. Eva and I are sitting here having a
bowlful of frozen Berry Medley and watching Dora the Explorer.
I have received a few letters from readers who are having
problems cutting and pasting the jokes from the lists. The
problem lies in your email settings which are set for full
featured rather than traditional. This also gives you that
pesky writing on the side too. If you look down at the bottom
of each mail you will find links to change those settings
either at Yahoo or by mail.
I want to thank everyone for their comments and suggestions on
wireless networking. I will keep you updated as I sort it out and
if it is so simple even a buffalo can do it, it may help some
other technically challenged person set up their own network.
I would like someday to have everything connected so when I get
an idea for the intro in the middle of the night, I can add it from
my
laptop without even getting out of bed.
hey didn't waste any time raising gas prices. They were at 1.91
yesterday when I drove out to see Nancy. She was busy putting
up some more movies for you to enjoy.
Enjoy the chips...... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Gambling Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Russian Roulette
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained for three
days, the African ambassador was wined , dined , and generally
treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your
stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional
game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is
loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull
the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a
warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took
their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of
relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and
thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due
to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with
all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a
private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time
for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the
Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning
and naked women.The African ambassador said, "These women are the
most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will
give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't
see the connection with Russian Roulette.He said,
"Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the
danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One
of them's a cannibal."
Michelle
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Damn Rex
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Dont Blame Me
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the doctor says
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we're losing him
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Bugs bunny
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was late at night as the Pope, who had departed this world, was
approaching the gates of heaven. There was no one around, but there
was a small shack just prior to the gates with a light on. The Pope
stepped into the shack and startled a young man half asleep sitting
at a small gray desk.
"Excuse me" said the Pope, "but I'm supposed to check in here with
St. Peter, but there is no one at the gate." "Yea, Yea" said the
young man, "Where are your orders?"
"I don't have any orders, " said the Pope.
"Well it's too late to check in tonight anyhow." said the young
man, "Just go around to the back of the building, find a rack and
dump your gear in a locker. St. Peter will be here in the morning
and
you can check in then."
The Pope grabs his stuff and walks around the building only to find
a
WWII style open bay barracks. The racks are stacked three high and
the only open one is all the way at the end of the building, and its
on top. He drags his stuff to the end of the building, but there is
no locker for him. He takes a deep breath, thinks about it for a
minute and decides this is just one final test. He crawls up into
the
rack and falls asleep.
Suddenly he is awakened by a loud commotion outside the barracks. As
he walks outside he sees a huge crowd of angels cheering and
clapping
as a gold convertible limousine approaches. As it draws nearer, the
Pope sees a guy in a flight suit and Navy leather flight jacket in
the back seat with a beautiful angel on each arm, a beer in his hand
and he is smoking one of the biggest cigars the Pope has ever seen.
The Pope turns to the young man who checked him in and asks, "Who is
that guy?" "A Naval Aviator," the young man replies.
The Pope says, "I don't get it. I worked hard all of my life to do
God's work on earth. As a young man I studied hard at the seminary,
as a priest I labored hard to tend my flock and provide guidance
when
they strayed. I struggled as a bishop to serve the church and as
Pope, I was able to attract more followers of the faith. Yet, when I
reach heaven, St. Peter isn't here to greet me. I have to carry my
own bags. I'm stuck in the top rack of an open bay barracks and I
don't even have a locker for my bags!"
The young man looks at the Pope and says. "Look, we get a Pope every
20-30 years, but he is the only Naval Aviator who has ever made it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
AOL Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Caller: Hi, I have some questions about American Online before I
join.
AOL: Okay, ma'am, what's your question?
Caller: Well, some of my friends who have AOL say they get something
called "cybersex"..
AOL: (quiet laugh in the background) Well ma'am... I don't know how
to explain this, but cybersex is not part of America Online.
Caller: Oh really? My friends said they got it from AOL.
AOL: Well it's something members typically do when they go to a chat
room.
Caller: Hmmmm...I don't understand, what is cybersex??
AOL: I'm sorry, I really don't know how to explain it.
Caller: Hmmm..well, have you ever had cybersex?
AOL: Ma'am, I don't think that's an appropriate question to be
asking
me. Is there anything else you need?
Caller: Sorry, like I said I don't even know what it is.
AOL: That's okay ma'am, anything else?
Caller: Yes, I have one more question.
AOL: Go ahead...
Caller: What are you wearing?
AOL: <click>
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The newly wed seniors were having sexual problems. The counselor
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suggested special shoes with build-up heels to help the man's ego.
The next month, he asked if things had improved in their love life
with the shoes.
"Well yes..." the woman replied, "but those shoes get the sheets so
dirty."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girl called a sex therapist and said, "Remember when you told me
the way to a man's heart was through his stomach? Well, last night I
found a new route... Now I need some birth control pills."
The doc asked, "What's his occupation?"
The girl said, "Army."
"Active or retired?"
"If he wasn't active, I wouldn't need these damn pills, would I?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady protested. "Why
it's just a tiny unset diamond."
"Yeah ! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be mounted in a
cluster
around a big one, the very day after you are."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two fat European businessdudes returned to the Tokyo whorehouse in a
state of great rage.
"I was here last week and caught a case of the clap!" he shouted at
the madam.
"Toyota," said the madam.
"What the hell does that mean, Toyota?" asked the enraged customer.
She smiled and said, "You asked for it, you got it!"
A group of rednecks sat around the pot-bellied stove in the country
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"I don't know what the good Lord wants to leave me here for."
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not
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Mr. McCoy sat for a minute in quiet meditation, then
announced, "Well, screw Him,...I'm not a-gonna do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bill is the same as ever." gossiped his wife on the telephone. "All
he ever thinks about all day long is sex... sex... sex."
"Now that's just not true at all." called out Bill, relaxing in his
recliner. "For the past half-hour, I've been laying here thinking
about you."
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one
night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at
him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again
by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any
perfume!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/In Awe
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ANGELS TO WATCH OVER YOU
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Texas Bob w/A Bag Of Potatoes?
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John w/ Happy Birthday Elvis
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Movie Chips
Lip Balm Commercial
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Lunch
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Lynx Air
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Making A Good Taliban
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Go White Guy
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Great Escapes
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Greatest Movie Line Ever
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Guide Dog
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhyme
A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
1-2 let us screw,
3-4 I am a whore,
5-6 suck the dick,
7-8 eja cu late,
9-1O fuck again.
~~~~~~
When the well-molded secretary entered her boss' office one morning,
he looked out the window and announced idly, "It's certainly going
to be a beautiful day." "I don't think so," replied the secretary.
"The weather forecast is for snow." "It's not going to snow,"
contradicted the exec. "I'll lay you twelve to one." "I'd rather
not," she remarked. "That's my lunch hour."
~~~
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front
door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she
shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she
asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave dddddildosss?
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes
we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave
aaa pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo
inchesss thththiiickkk?
The clerk responds, "Yes we do".
"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee hhhhowwww
ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horsey Rides
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ginger was feeling quite gruff
'Til he placed his head in her muff
Then she purred like a kitty
When his tongue hit her clitty
Saying, "I just can't get enough!"
____________
I wooed a buxom young nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! She was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude --
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!
____________
I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,
Double-jointed she was I suppose.
And I watched fascinated,
As Rose masturbated;
Herself with the tip of her nose.
<snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Abby,
I have an oral sex etiquette question. While I love pleasing my
lady,
occasionally while in the middle of a "carpet munching" session a
hair gets caught in the back of my throat. I think hacking up a
hairball like a cat on speed at that special time might be
considered
poor taste. How can I take care of business and remove the offending
piece of "wool" and keep the mood?
Sincerely, Munchy
Dear Munchy:
Preparation, preparation, preparation, my son, is the key to
successful tongue lashing. Right after your lady buys you a really
expensive present, cooks you a fine, fine meal and finishes mowing
the lawn with the second-hand, push lawnmower you purchased for her
on your last anniversary, simply hand her a razor and remind her
that
her "back 40" also needs a good clip. Remember, an "idle" woman is a
demon in the making.
Abby
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Global Facts ... At Any Given Moment:
Fact: 79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse right now.
Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing.
Fact: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex ...
Fact: 1 lonely bugger is reading emails...
- You hang in there sunshine!
Amy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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