Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We are nearing the time for the decommissioning of the Kitty
Hawk. I hate to see her go just as many of you hate seeing the
ships, planes and other pieces of hardware that we worked
with and protected our country with put into mothballs or used for
targets. I have heard talk too of selling her to India along with a
few squadrons of F-18 Super Hornets. I am worried about
giving that level of technology to another country but with the
amount of money their trade deficit is drawing from us perhaps
it is time they take over their own defense. China has announced
that they are building two mid sized carriers and Russia has
two full sized carriers in the works so it easy to see how other
countries value a carrier navy. Our own navy is talking about
reduction to a seven carrier navy which will mean mothballing
ships built 30 years ago that were designed for 50 years of
service. The nuclear powered Enterprise is already scheduled
to be decommissioned this year before the George HW Bush
is commissioned. I really worry that with conflicts popping up
all over the world that if more people decide to follow in the
footsteps
of the Somalia pirates we are going to be spread thin. Our
navies have a primary concern of keeping trade routes open
for American vessels so we are going to be drawn into this at
some point along the line.
OK enough rambling about the navy. I imagine many of you have
a date with the bean counters this week to do inventories and
all of the reams of year end paper work. Take things slow for the
first day back at work until everything is working smoothly and be
careful.
Enjoy the chips....buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike was walking past a pet shop one day and noticed a parrot in a
cage hanging outside. As he approached, the parrot said, "Hello.
What's your name?" "Mike," responded the young man. Several days
later, Mike again approached the pet shop. "Hello, Mike." said the
parrot. Mike was amazed, and decided to go inside and buy the bird.
The clerk told him the parrot was not for sale. "I really want that
parrot," said Mike. "Name your own price." The clerk saw an
opportunity to make some money, so he told Mike, "I can't sell Polly
because she belongs to the owner. But I can get you some of her
eggs. They're $100 each, and you'll have to come back after hours so
I can sneak them out to you." Mike orders 1/2 dozen eggs and agrees
to come back later that night. The clerk decides to gather a mixture
of different eggs to increase the likelyhood of having some of them
hatch, and when Mike comes back that night - he sells him the 6
eggs. A couple weeks later the eggs hatch - but instead of parrots,
Mike has a baby chicken, turkey, duck, goose, owl, and a robin. The
following week he once again approaches the pet shop. "Hello, Mike,"
says the parrot. "Don't you talk to me, you slut." responds Mike.
"You'd sleep with anything."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
resolutions
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confusion
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stop complaining
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Chicken
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Mid-Life
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Differences
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Mouse Gator
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Computer Tree
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Sticky Art
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally having scraped enough money together for a trip to the
Bahamas, Todd arrived only to learn that the hotel at which he
wanted to stay, the St. Regis, charged $200 a day. Although that
included a continental breakfast, the pool and free golf, he simply
couldn't afford that much money. Dragging his gear around town, he
finally found a hotel every bit as nice but only cost $50 a day.
Settling in, he decided to get in a few rounds of golf before
sunset.
Bringing his clubs to the hotel course, he went to buy a three-pack
of balls from the Pro Shop.
"That will be $100," said the man behind the counter.
"What?" screamed Todd. "That's outrageous! They're free at the St.
Regis!"
"Yes," said the man, "but at the St. Regis they get you by the
rooms."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Animal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog: "Oh, God, not again. Let's turn the hose on them."
Dog: "Great, there goes the urge to drink out of the toilet."
Cat: "Y'know, if I didn't have a tail, I'd try that."
Dog: "I've heard about that position -- it's called 'human style.'"
Sheep: "It's just a phase. He'll be back."
Dog: "How strange -- why would you want
someone else to lick it for you?"
Rabbits: "Amateurs!"
Dog: "Geez, they have to look at each other's *faces*
while they're doing that??"
Dog: "Let's hop on and make it a conga line!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that
connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic
nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on
life.If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if
it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
I saw a beggar who was so broke that he was standing on the corner
shouting as the cars went by,... "WILL WORK FOR CARDBOARD AND A
MAGIC MARKER!"
Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young are on tour again. You can tell the
band has aged. Their groupies still get them drugs. But now there's
a $10 co-pay.
Q. What does a blonde say after a multiple orgasm?
A. "Way to go, team!"
Q. What does a woman say to a man who she has just had sex with? A.
Say whatever she wants... he's asleep.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Dr. Scholl's is merging with a condom manufacturer. So ladies, if
your boyfriend says he's wearing protection, make him take his shoes
off first!
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.
A wicker basket is one of those baskets that you put flowers in, and
a wicker box is what Elmer Fudd did to his girlfriend.
Q. How can you tell if you're on a Jewish golf course?
A. Instead of yelling, "FORE!" they yell, "$3.99!
A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain
silent. Anything you say will be held against you." The drunk
replies, "Breasts."
Only in America do we have a general in charge of the post office
and a secretary in charge of defense.
"A wedding ring is like a tourniquet -- it cuts off your
circulation!
A botanist claimed to have discovered a nomadic tree in the African
jungle. Apparently it just packs up its trunk and leaves. <GROAN>
<And another>"The man who started the Dunkin' Donuts chain has
passed away at the age of 87. Doctors said they knew he was gone
when his eyes just glazed over." -Jay Leno
During the Richard Nixon debacle, and the "Saturday Night Massacre,
in which Nixon fired his special prosecutor Archibald Cox, a bumper
sticker displayed the next day in Washington read, "Nixon is a Cox
sacker."
Remember, there's no "I" in "TEAM" -- but there *is*
an "EAT ME" if you're willing to use the "E" twice. - (Lewis Shiner)
Why is it that a woman can guide a 1.5" diameter penis into an inch
diameter vagina in pitch black darkness without looking and cannot
park a
6 foot car in a 7 foot parking spot in broad daylight?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moanin' Mike is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a
beer and bragging about his sex life. Moanin' says, I have great sex
with my wife. She's very vocal, she can really rattle the windows,
and
most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, 'Harder!'
I
love it when she screams, 'Faster!' "Man, you lucky dog! Says his
one
buddy. But come on and tell the truth, isn't there sometimes a
problem
with your sex life?" "The only problem I have..." Moanin' said
dejectedly, "Is when she screams, ....'Deeper!
~~~~~~~
Mike: Do you remember first meeting your wife?
John: Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her
to
her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would
begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again.
Mike: Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her.
John: Not really. Jill hated to give up bowling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fat Head Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband, wife and a son walk into an
ice-cream shop. The dad says "I'll have
a chocolate." The wife says "I'll have a
vanilla."
Then the dad slaps his son in the back
of the head and says, "What do you want,
fat head?"
The lady helping them says, "Why did
you hit him in the back of the head and
call him fat head?"
The husband says, "There are three things
in life a man wants: The first thing is a nice
big truck. And you see that nice big truck
sitting out there??? That's my nice truck!!!
The second thing in life a man wants is a
nice big house. You seen that nice big
house on top of the hill on the edge of
town? That's my big house!!!
The third thing in life a man wants is a
nice tight pussy, and I had that until fat
head came along!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Flour Sack
http://silverandgol
Train Of Life Via Red In Ohio
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Quit Smoking
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Within A Dream
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Surfin Surfari
VETERAN ACTOR PAT HINGLE DIES AT 84
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POW Network Phonies Site
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Little Christmas
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BBQ NO!!!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Darik's Boot and Nuke - Via Robert
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Dog Waffle Paint
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Time Correction
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
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James David Manning
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Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
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Jeff Dunham & Bubba
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Girl Vs desert Eagle
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Global Warming and the Classroom
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Global Warming
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Glock
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a recent vacation at a resort with my in-laws, we planned to
spend
an
afternoon at the pool with our kids. We wanted to bring our own
drinks,
but were unsure of the hotel's policy.
My brother-in-law called the front desk, and assuming everyone was
familiar with the brand of ice chest he had, asked if it was all
right
if he brought a Playmate to the pool.
After a pause, the clerk asked, "Does she have her own towel?"
~~~~~
A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening
planned for him and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the
movies
but could not persuade the youngest boy to go along. Finally he
makes
a
deal with the boy. If the boy will go sit on the curb in front of
their
house, the father will give the boy $5 bucks for every man he sees
go
by
in a red hat. A while later the little boy comes running into the
house
and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts "Dad, if you think your
getting
fucked in there, you'd better come outside, there's a Shriner
convention
going past.
~~~~~
The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of
expensive
imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "you
wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?"
"No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping
on
a dead beaver."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good news
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Gloria
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
No Peeing
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lady wasn't even in the mood
The first time she saw a man nude,
When asked if she'd like sex
Thought it couldn't be complex
And just sat on what she saw protrude
***
The lady was ready to entice
She said once a night was quite nice
And doing it twice was surely no bore
But she really prefered three times or more
Addin' Tabasco to whipped cream for spice
***
They said the guy was an odd sort
Not a dwarf but incredibly short
When finally able to get a gal in bed
It's been told that in total awe she said
"My God! That's not a dick it's a wart"
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party.
While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became
unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress. She asked the
Englishman to retrieve the jewelry piece for her. He was very
embarrassed but wishing to comply with her request he reached
cautiously down the back of her gown.
"I'm terribly sorry," he said, "but I can't seem to reach it." Try
further down," she said. At this point he noticed that he was being
watched by everyone in the room, which made him feel most
uncomfortable and he whispered to the girl, "I feel such a perfect
ass."
"Never mind that!" she cried. "Just get the necklace."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sands Of Christ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One fine day, I was about to enjoy an "afternoon delight" with a
gentleman I knew. We'd been at it pretty hot and heavy on the couch
when someone knocked at my door. I got up to peek out, and saw that
it was no one of importance, but when I looked back, by gentleman
friend was GONE!
Calling his name, I finally found him standing in my bathroom, still
totally nude, but holding his sneakers in one hand. "What on Earth
are you doing standing here holding your shoes?" I asked.
"Well," he answered, "you never know when you might have to run!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1496
The Stock Market Explained
Rudy: How does the Stock Market work Sandi?
Sandi: Okay say I start a company that makes invisible dog collars
and I start selling stock nationally and everyone gets real excited
because
the collars are invisible and they have mp3 players and have a gps
system
and such and the stock goes from one dollar to five dollars to
twenty
dollars..
Rudy: Oh I want to buy some ...
Sandi: Right, you would be rich if you bought some Rudy. I would
sell you some 20 dollar stock and you would watch it rise up to 30
dollars.
Rudy: A-Roo! I would want to buy more...
Sandi: Right, then it would rise to 40 dollars.
Rudy: I want to buy more.
Sandi: Right then it would rise to 50 dollars.
Rudy: Okay, now I want to sell.
Sandi: Rudy, there is nobody to sell to. You are the only person
buying.
The market starts to crash... down to 45, 40, 30, 20, 10, 5, 1
dollar.
You have lost all. The value of the stock is just paper and the
real value
is what is the company doing.
Rudy: I don't get it.
Sandi: You got it.
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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