Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.  Mighty mend it! REPAIR RIPS, HOLES, AND TEARS IN A SINGLE SECOND Plus - get a TRIPLE Bonus FREE! You can hem and repair just about anything in a single second. Repair that tear in the sofa, hem clothes, and save money! Now we'll triple your order for FREE! Get 3 Mighty Mendit™ bottles for the price of 1! http://www.thepostm  Share your unique opinion and get paid for it! Product Developers are willing to pay reviewers between $5 and $75 per completed survey. - Review Products - Take simple online surveys - Keep the products you review - Get paid for your opinion! JOIN NOW Free Membership http://www.thepostm  Get your hands on the coolest digital camera on the market - the Nikon(R) Coolpix(R) S60 Digital Camera! Designed with a customizable touch panel display, 10 megapixels for stunning print quality, 5x optical zoom and 19 scene modes, this digital camera does more than just take cool pics! Act now to get your new Nikon(R) Coolpix(R) S60 Digital Camera for FREE! http://www.thepostm GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! I was quite surprised to get a phone call from an old school chum the other day. Tommy Richmeir and his family were percieved to be a little poorer than most. Transients might be a better name. We were not much better, we were share croppers and the only difference really between the other kids and Tommy's family, they followed the crops. They usually showed up around fall time to help with harvest season for a few weeks. Then they went on in their old beat up truck to God knows where and showed up again around harvest time the next year. Truth was, Tommy's daddy was probably richer than most of us, He owned one of those self propelled combines. Most of us share croppers couldn't afford them, So Tommy's family made a living traveling thru the corn belt doing nothing but harvesting. To make a long story short, Tommy was a rather gullible kid and went to great lengths to be accepted by his peers. So one night we invited Tommy with us to go on a "snipe" hunt. All us kids met in a rather desolate spot. We then gave Tommy a gunny sack and instructed him to stand at the end of the corn field and hold the sack and the rest of us were to ride thru the cornfield on our horses. When we chased up the mythical "snipe", Tommy was to be ready on the other end and catch the little critter with the gunny sack. we gave him stern warnings about how sharp the "snipe" teeth were and how vicious the little animal could be. If you are at all familiar with this little joke, there is no such critter as a "snipe" and the victim of the prank is usually left at the end of the corn field for most of the night, literally "left holding the bag." Tommy and I laughed and joked and reminisced about old times. He is an aerospace engineer these days and holds no grudges. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS sex therapist http://www.thepostm computer trouble http://www.thepostm according to the quiz http://www.thepostm a butt girl http://www.thepostm desperate moments http://www.thepostm Carole Burnette http://www.thepostm Rodney Dangerfield http://www.thepostm need a vacation? http://www.thepostm swingin monkey http://www.thepostm Older women-wav file http://www.thepostm how to throw a boomerang http://www.thepostm choose an era http://www.thepostm Irena Sendler http://www.thepostm A blonde couple were delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him." ____________ A blonde goes on vacation out west. She sees a saloon and decides to see what it's all about. Once inside she spots a moose head on the wall. The bartender notices her looking at it and asks if she ever saw a moose before." "Not where I'm from....do you mind if I go into the next room and take a look at the rest of it?" ____________ One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with Interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first. Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on. True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was. Confronting the old priest he demanded, "Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!" The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "Son," he said, "that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites." ____________ A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies: "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, says to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know." Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees her hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's the problem...are you gonna be ok??" "No...." exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!" ____________ While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snowstorm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!" ____________ One night, a horny old geezer decides to get himself a hooker. Since the man doesn't have much money, he looks for the cheapest whore in the nearest Red Light District. A short while later, he finds what he's looking for and spends $10 on her. The next morning, the old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs. So, he gets dressed and heads down to where he had been the night before. He notices the same hooker on the street corner, so he marches over to her and says ,"Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!" The hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you expect for $10? Lobster?" ____________ BUFFALO Bill Bush Early Morning http://www.buffalos PAPA Thorn Lick the Candy Cane (smut alert) http://able2laugh. Stronger love http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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