Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Were you born in January? Here are some famous people
you may share a birthday with:
January
1. Betsy Ross, Paul Revere, Barry Goldwater
2. Roger Miller, David Cone
3. Cheryl Miller, Bobby Hull, Mel Gibson
4. Don Shula, Tom Thumb
5. Dick Endberg, Diane Keaton, Chuck Berry
6. Nancy Lopez, Sherlock Holmes
7. Katie Couric, Nicholas Cage, Kenny Loggins
8. David Bowie, Elvis Presley, Soupy Sales
9. Richard Nixon, Bart Starr, Crystal Gayle
10. George Foreman, Rod Stewart, Harry Gant
11. Ben Crenshaw, Alexander Hamilton, Tom Netherton
12. Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Kristie Alley
13. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Robert Stack, Horatio Alger
14. Benedict Arnold, Andy Rooney
15. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
16. A.J. Foyt, Ethel Merman
17. Muhammad Ali, Jim Carey, Benjamin Franklin
18. Mark Messier, Kevin Costner, A. A. Milne
19. Robert E. Lee, Janis Joplin, Edgar Allen Poe
20. Buzz Aldrin, DeForest Kelly, Federico Fellini
21. Hakeem Olajuwon, Placido Domingo, Wolfman Jack
22. Linda Blair, Joseph Wambaugh, Mike Bossy
23. Humphrey Bogart, John Hancock
24. Mary Lou Retton, John Belushi, Neil Diamond
25. Virginia Wolf, Robert Burns
26. Wayne Gretzky, Eddie Van Halen, Gene Siskel
27. Wolfgang Mozart, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Lewis Carroll
28. Alan Alda, Jackson Pollack, Elijah Wood
29. Oprah Winfrey, William McKinley, Tom Selleck
30. Franklin Roosevelt, Phil Collins, Dick Cheney
31. Nolan Ryan, Jackie Robinson, Justin Timberlake, Ernie Banks
Thanks to Bonnie in SC for the list.
I got this note yesterday that I am pleased to pass along
Buffalo, I'm passing this on to you as a fellow Vet ( US Army,
25th Inf. Div. , '72 -'75 ), hoping that you might consider passing
it on to our Brothers and Sisters in our Group. It's some good info
, and maybe it can help get some recognition to those that deserve
it.
Thanx for what you do. Your Buffalo's Adult Jokes , is the 1st
thing I do in the morning, along with a cup of coffee and a cigar -
okay, maybe not exactly the 1st thing, but it's the 1st thing I do
AFTER the 1st thing !!
Thanx again Brother ,
Steve B.
National Purple Heart Hall of Honor
http://nphhh.com
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons
Cain
and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the
boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your
mother ate us out of house and home."
~~~~~~~~
Did you ever wonder what the difference between a prostitute, a
girlfriend, and a wife are? The prostitute says "That'll be $100."
The girlfriend says "Oh, baby! I love you, I love you, I love you!"
The wife says "Beige. Yeah. Beige. I'll paint the ceiling beige."
~~~~~~
A man goes to his psychiatrist complaining about marriage problems.
The shrink asks him, "Do you talk to your wife during sex?" "Sure,"
says the guy, "I've got a cell phone!"
~~~~~~~
Me and a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work. One
Friday, Chad showed up particularly late, sat down at the bar, and
kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned and
said, "Times they are getting tough. I mean, just today, my wife
told
me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week! I can't
believe it." At which point I put his hand on Chad's shoulder and
said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad, she's cut me out
all
together."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the vet clinic
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now that we're married
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superbowl
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Black Boyfriend
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31330.htm
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Overqualified
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31329.htm
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Oscar
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31328.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31328.htm "> Here!</a>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Groaner Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous
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night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her.
Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of her socket
towards the man. With his quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
"Oh my god, I am sooooo sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye
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They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman
invited him back to her place for a drink.
They went back to her house, and after a bit she brought him into
the bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild,
passionate sex many times during the night.
The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and
brought him breakfast in bed.
The guy was amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you
this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No, she replied....
You just happened to catch my eye!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quaker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a clerk in a small town general store in the
South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began
filling a shopping cart with items.
This man was so distinctive in that he could have been
the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was
dressed in black, very tall and had that hat just like
the Quaker Oats guy wears.
Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let
alone talked to one. When the man reached the counter
with his selections the clerk could hardly contain
himself. "Are you a Quaker"? he asked as he was trying
to ring up the merchandise.
"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his
voice.
"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You're really a real
Quaker?"
The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes,
I am a real Quaker."
"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real
Quaker before. Would you say something in Quaker talk
for me?" asked the clerk.
The tall man ignored this request and waited for his merchandise to
be tallied up. As clerk finished ringing up the sale he said,
"Please mister, say something in Quaker talk?"
The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture
of secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear
the quiet reply. The man said, "Screw Thee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tax Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breast Tax Law
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis.
This is not quite true, there is one (or should I say 2) other
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AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00
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* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for the
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Navel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brent has been in jail for 10 long years. The only thought that gets
him through the day is women's bellybuttons. He loves 'em. When he's
in the shower, eating a meal, making license plates, sleeping,
avoiding anal rape in the bathroom, that's all he can think about.
So
finally, he is released. They give hime sixty-five dollars, a cheap
suit, and send him on his way. He makes an immediate bee-line for
the
nearest whorehouse. Brent walks in and right up to the
sleazy-looking
guy behind the desk. "I need to lick a woman's navel!" he
shouts. "Sorry, sir," the owner says. "We don't serve perverts
here."
Brent grabs the guy by the throat. "Listen!" he screams. "I just did
ten years hard time, and if I don't get to lick some bellybuttons, I
might just kill some-motherfuckin'-body!!!" The owner directs him to
a run-down wooden door. He walks through and sees an ugly, fat
woman.
That doesn't bother Brent, though, because not only does she have
huge breasts, she has the deepest navel he's ever seen. Brent dives
in immediately. He licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a
while,
gets a piece of potato stuck in his teeth. 'Hmmm, I don't remember
having potatoes for breakfast,' he thinks, but he keeps on goin'. He
licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a while, he gets a piece
of
meat stuck in his teeth. 'I know I haven't eaten meat for a while,'
he thinks, but keeps right on goin'. He licks, and licks, and
licks.....and after a while, he gets a piece of corn in his teeth.
That was the last straw. "I think I'm going to be sick, he
moans." "That's funny," says the whore. "That's what the last guy
said."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Snow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Jim Nash, associate editor of the Business Journal (San Jose and
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about
one of the rare times the unadulterated truth saw print. Jon Young,
the photographer at the Crystal Lake (Ill.) Herald had just gotten
out of the darkroom after printing up a photo of a surprise spring
snowfall of several inches in a couple hours. He wrote a cutline,
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could not get the weather service to return his call asking for an
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Jon called later to see if there were any questions for him, he was
told there were none. The cutline was pasted up thusly: "'Arthur
Loy,
foreground, and his mother, Judy, used teamwork Sunday to clear
their
sidewalk of nearly seven inches of snow that fell Saturday evening.
Though a shitload of snow fell Saturday, snowplow crews had most
major streets cleared by Sunday.' "'Twas the only edition of the
Herald that has ever sold out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Symbol Of Friendship
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Carolyn w/ My Special Angel
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Thoughts
http://www.rirose.net/thoughts/Jan/2.html
Love Is Like A Rose
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol28.html
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Dead Presidents
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(Malwarebytes)
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(CCleaner)
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Oops
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010307.htm
parrot-bud
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010308.htm
Midget Thai Boxing
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010301.htm
milk
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010302.htm
Mini Gunon Huey
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010303.htm
Moscow tunnel
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010304.htm
Nextel
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010305.htm
NO GLASS
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010306.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hooker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this guy goes into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the
prosttute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants. The hooker
almost faints, the guy has a 18 inch cock. She says," Hold on pal,
I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but your not sticking that in me." The
man pulls up his pants and picks up his $50 and says, " Screw that,
I
can do that myself !"
~~~~~~~~
The young virgin farm boy drives to the big city in search of a
prostitute. He finds one, and explains he has never had sex before.
The hooker says, " No problem, honey." She undresses the boy, then
herself, and lies down on the bed. He crawls on top of her. " Okay,
stick it in honey.....all the way in.... now pull it out......now
put
it back in....... now pull it out......." " For christ sake," says
the boy," Will you make up your fucking mind?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Movie review
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=001movie-review.jpg
Never too old
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=001never_too_old.jpg
Other Woman's Mucus
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3467&pid=37967&s=n
I'll Have the Brown Crap
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Canned Tits
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Clara
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Booty call
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Can
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
Additional Ordering Details:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MISS WADE
I love Miss Wade
Who teaches third grade
At P.S. 541.
I'd gladly trade
My frog for Miss Wade
'Cause Miss Wade looks like much more fun.
Miss Wade doesn't hop,
Miss Wade doesn't croak,
And flies you won't see her catch,
But I'd rather swap
My frog for a poke
Into Miss Wade's lascivious snatch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room
to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad
going
at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.
He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and
little Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled, 'Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!'
Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so damn funny when its YOUR mom is
it?!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
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*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old ladies lived way out in the country, only going into town on
Sundays for church. One Sunday, there was a strange pastor, a very
handsome man, in the pulpit, preaching away quite merrily. One of
the
ladies, quite deaf, had to turn her hearing aid up fully.
As the old ladies were returning home, the pros and cons of the new
pastor was their main subject of conversation.
"I thought he was lovely," said one.
"He was, rather, wasn't he?" said the other.
"He was very loud, wasn't he?"
"Eh?" said the other, "what cloud?"
"I said, he was very loud."
"Eh?"
"I said, he was very loud," shouted the other. "Bawls like a bull."
"Has he?" said the first. "I never noticed. The pulpit was in the
way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sands Of Christ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1494
The Banking System Explained
Rudy: Sandi can you explain how humans do banking?
Sandi: Sure. Give me your dog biscuits and I will put them in my
'bank.'
Rudy: Okay here you go. Now when can I get them back?
Sandi: When I am open.
Rudy: A-Rooo? When are you open?
Sandi: I am not open on Sunday, Saturday pm, after 5 pm on
weekdays,
nightimes or early mornings.
Rudy: When are you open?
Sandi: I am open Monday through Friday from 9 am until 5 pm unless
it
is a holiday.
Rudy: I gave you 10 biscuits, so I can get my 10 biscuits back
tomorrow?
Sandi: Sadly, no. My bank has a processing fee, a handling fee.
You can
have 9 biscuits. If you leave your biscuits here for a year, you
can have
11 biscuits.
Rudy: A-Roo! What good are my biscuits if I cannot eat them?
Sandi: Don't worry we will eat them for you.
Rudy: Will you pay me for eating my biscuits?
Sandi: We will pay you one biscuit a year.
Rudy: But I gave you 10 biscuits and you ate 10 of my biscuits.
Sandi: And we gave you one back and on paper you still have 10 in
our
bank.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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