Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I took a ride out to Nancy's house last night to chat as I had to
run to the store anyhow for a Key Lime Pie and it was half way
there anyhow. I had on a short sleeve shirt and a fleece jacket
and that wind was cutting through it pretty good. Anyhow when
I got back I had a little surprise. There was a Chevy pick-up with
a suspension lift and one wheel buried in the snow bank right
next to where I park the Suburban. Pretty good trick since the
snowbank is three feet high and fairly hard but with the lift his
bumper had missed it completely.
The minute I got to the door I got the rest of the story from Buffy.
Right after the guy hit the snowbank he had stumbled into the
house drunk and Buffy had thrown him out. This is the Great White
North and we leave our doors unlocked except at night. Once I heard
the story I called the police and they stopped by, took a report,
and towed the vehicle. In my younger days I would have cut him
some slack but frankly I am tired of drunks on the road and I am
more than happy to help the police.
I want to welcome everyone that stopped by my Facebook page
yesterday and joined my list of friends. Some of you are real close
friends from the Scuttlebutt that have discussed your families to
length
in the past and some have the advantage of knowing me better than I
know you but maybe we will come to know each other better.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is
to
leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it,
because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount
of
trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think
you've
got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops
listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the
same ones she can't stand years later.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
nudist colony
http://www.thepostm
22 years
http://www.thepostm
droppin shit
http://www.thepostm
My Buddy List
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Plane
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Love
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stimulus Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q
and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?"
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?"
A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?"
A. Only a smidgen.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?"
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-
definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?"
A. Shut up!"
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase
a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables
it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy
organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase
useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the
American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You
can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to
a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or
tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
Ray
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Doctor!" said the young lady prior to her surgery, "Will the scar
show? "
"Not in church, madam," replied the doctor, "but anywhere else, it's
entirely up to you......"
~~~~~
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to
work. The little girl asks, "Why do you call your secretary a doll?"
Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my
secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't
believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."
"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closes her
eyes when you lay her down."
~~~~~
A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as
part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking
some questions.
"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband
sweetly.
Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby
and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he
sighed, "Every time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for purchasing 'Bubba & Cooter's Book of Sure-fire Pick-up
Lines'
brought to you by Bubba & Cooter, straight outta the hils.
1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) Man - 'Fat Penguin!'
Woman - 'WHAT?'
Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.'
9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room...
11) Yer eyes are as blue as w indow cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til afternoon.
AND.. the best for last!
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pup Light
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did god give women nipples?
To make suckers out of men.
Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an
end to it by arousing his jealousy. "What would you say if I told
you
that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked
provocatively. "Well," he mused, "I'd say that you're a lesbian."
A female personnel director became very embarrassed when
interviewing
a male job applicant, she asked her assistant, "Do I have an opening
this man will fit?"
When I was a kid, I used to think it would be really cool to be just
like Keith from the Partridge Family. Only when I got older did I
realize that having your mom on keyboards really cuts down on the
opportunities to get backstage fellatio from groupies.
An elderly playboy we know has catalogued the three stages of a
man's
life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, Try Weakly.
After their wedding reception a newly married couple went to their
hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?
the desk clerk asked. "Only one," the groom replied. "She's not into
anal sex."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary comes home from her date with Tom and is on cloud nine. She
happily tears off her clothes, tosses them all around the room jumps
into bed and falls fast asleep. The next morning her mom comes in and
wakes Mary up and says, " How was your date last night?"
"It was alright, I guess."
"It must have been a lot better than that," says mom, " Your panties
are still stuck to the ceiling."
~~~~~
An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my
druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the
prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a
druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"
The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control
pills since February."
~~~~~
While attending classes to convert to Catholicism, the Yuppie couple
learned they were to practice the rhythm method of birth control.
So they hired a three-piece combo for their bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tobi Steamer
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Turn the lighted switch to ON.
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move the nozzle up and down. It's easy - even fun!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/His Eye Is On The Sparrow
http://silverandgol
New Gospel Music page/Daddy sang Bass/marlene
http://summerhoosie
Hello God
http://www.carolspo
Heroes Truck
http://www.shangral
A PRAYER FOR CHILDREN
http://www.wtv-
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
The Civil War Home Page
http://www.civil-
Things You Never Noticed
http://tinyurl.
Test Your Geography Knowledge
http://www.lizardpo
Aled Lewis Illustrations
http://www.aledlewi
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
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If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
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Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT want
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look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Extract Audio
http://www.aoamedia
Downloads Plaza
http://www.download
Valentine
http://becrafts2.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell
wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to
decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I
can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right
way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.skateboa
Kitty Korner
http://www.angelfir
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC or
laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
The Original Farmer's Daughter
http://www.buffalos
The Big ABC
http://www.buffalos
The Chronicles Of The Oba Messiah
http://www.buffalos
Then God Made Woman
http://www.buffalos
The Potato Heads
http://www.buffalos
7 Wonders Of The World
http://www.buffalos
ABC Banner
http://www.buffalos
Adidas DM
http://www.buffalos
Bad Weld
http://www.buffalos
Bambi
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fiddle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old sea captain, and a little
guy who played the fiddle, were
arguing about women.
The old sea captain tells the little
fiddle player that women can't be
trusted, and they will not be faithful
under any circumstances.
The little fiddle player said well he
bet his wife would not do anything
like that.
So, the old sea captain said he would
bet his ship and cargo against the
fiddler player's violin that she would
be unfaithful.
The fiddle player took the bet, and invited
the sea captain over to his house, and
sent the two of them into the bedroom
while he waited outside the door.
A half hour went by and he heard nothing
from his wife, so he started singing to the
tune of Auld Lang Sine:
Be true, my love, be true my love,
It's only for an hour.
Don't screw, my love, don't screw, my love,
And the ship and cargo's ours.
She sang back to him:
Too late, my love, too late, my love,
He's got me round the middle,
He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice,
And you've lost your damned old fiddle!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoes Under - Space Saving Shoe Organizer
Shoes Under stores twelve pairs of shoes under your bed, saving you
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bugs out. Just slide and store - it's that easy!
Order now and we'll DOUBLE your order!
View Web Version
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vampire
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Finger Lickin' Good
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Game Time
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Fishing With Moses
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Surfing
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
Mechanics
http://www.buffalos
<a href==" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old Irish man is lying in bed, very ill. His son is sitting at his
bedside, expecting the end to come at any moment. The old man looks
up at the boy and says, "Son, it's time for you to get me a
Protestant minister."
The son is astounded. "But, Dad!" he protests, "You've been a good
Catholic all you life! You're delirious. It's a priest ye be wanting
now, not a minister."The old man looks up at him and says, "Son,
please. It's me last request. Get a minister for me!" "But, Dad,"
cries the son, "Ye raised me a good Catholic. You've been a good
Catholic all your life. Ye don't want a minister at a time like
this!" The old man manages to croak out the words, "Son, if you
respect me and love me as a father, you'll go out and get me a
Protestant minister right now."
The son relents and goes out and gets the minister. They come back to
the house, and the minister goes upstairs and converts him. As the
minister is leaving the house, he passes Father O'Malley coming
quickly through the door. The minister stares solemnly into the eyes
of the priest. "I'm afraid you're too late, Father," he says. "He's a
Protestant now." Father O'Malley rushes up the steps and bursts into
the old man's room. "Pat! Pat! Why did ye do it?" he cries. "You were
such a good Catholic! We went to St. Mary's together! You were there
when I performed my first mass! Why in the world would ye do such a
thing like this?" "Well," the old man says as he looks up at his dear
friend. "I figured if somebody had to go, it was better one of *them*
than one of *us*."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy
said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"
"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is
compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in
the palm of your hand."
About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.
"Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.
"I took your advice."
"Didn't you compliment her?"
"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that
for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After
awhile I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large
breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."
"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.
"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got
her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another
compliment."
"What did you say?"
"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
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Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thorn walks up to man in a pointed hat and the following conversation
takes place.....
Thorn: You're Merlin The Magician, aren't you?
Merlin: Why yes ..it's nice to be recognized!
Thorn: Bit of a Wizard ..I hear?
Merlin: Well Yes .. I've been told I'm skilled
Thorn: Do tricks and things ..don't ya.. Magical stuff?
Merlin: Magical ... yes that's correct.
Thorn: Turn Kings into Frogs ..and that sort of thing..
Is that right?
Merlin: Well Yes ..I suppose I could Turn a King into a
Frog!
Thorn: Ever fucked up ..Ya know, made a mistake?
Merlin: Well Yes ..hasn't everyone?
Thorn: Can you reverse a curse???
Merlin: Yes I can ... with knowledge of who applied the
curse and the actual words of enchantment,
I
could do it ....Why ?
Thorn: I'm Cursed, Merlin.
Merlin: Really ... and how long have you been bewitched?
Thorn: For years ...
Merlin: Do you know the words spoken over you to lay this curse?
Thorn: Yeah .. I *can't* EVER forget them!
Merlin: What were they???
Thorn: Something like ...
"Do you take this woman to be your
lawfully wedded wife?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Lens Doctor is the quick and easy way to fix scratches
and imperfections in your glasses. Just slide the treatment solution
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Lens Doctor cleaning and treatment solution.
Order from the Official TV Website Here:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1510
Being a Dog
Katie gets up and heads outside...she strolls over to Tami's house
and rings the doorbell.
Tami: Hello Katie..care to come in?
Katie: Sure thanks for the invitation. You sure seem to be in a
hurry.
Tami: I have to get ready for work.
Katie: Oh yeah, you bi-peds have that to do.
Tami: Can I get you something before I leave?
Katie: A pork chop maybe?
Tami: Sorry girl, I don't have time.. how about a doggie biscuit?
Katie: That will do.
Tami: Okay, walk me to my car?
Katie: Sure thing.
Tami leaves and Katie heads back to her home. Dad is getting ready
to leave.
Katie: Father...do drive carefully today and give me a hug before
you go.
BJ: Come here ole girl..
>>> <<<
Katie: Thanks father...have a good day.
BJ: You be a good girl and play with mother -- okay?
Katie: Sure thing father.
Dad drives away...Katie whimpers a bit and heads into the house..it
seems empty..
Diana: Katie come here I have a treat for you.
Suddenly all is forgotten...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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