THE POSTMAN'S CORNER I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. Thomas Jefferson  FREE COUPONS SAVE BIG-name brand Get $75.00 worth of printable coupons! And a chance to win a $1,500 Gas Card! http://www.thepostm  Hear what you've been missing! The Bell + Howell Silver Sonic XL has the ability to give you sonic hearing, easily amplifying sounds up to 60 feet away. Never miss out on a conversation, game or TV show ever again! Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing! Silver Sonic XLÕs flexible ear mount easily adjusts to fit all ear shapes and sizes. Plus, the convenient volume control lets you easily control the intensity and volume of your Silver Sonic XL so you can set the level right where you want it. http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! It is a bone chilling cold morning in West Michigan. The ground is covered in about 3 or 4 inches of new fluffiness. Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat, does not like such mornings. Usually he sits in his cage, tucked in his nice warm bed and watches me and the war department eat breakfast, and barely makes a sound. When its time to take him out, a great deal of encouragement and coaxing is needed to get him out of his bed and into the cold. The advantage is, however, he wastes no time getting the job done, I can tell you that. Then he wants to make a beeline back into his little bed. The weather man says that temps will drop down to 5 or 6 degrees by the weekend. And coupled with strong winds, only two things are going to happen. DTE energy is gonna get a lot richer and a lot of people are going to wish that they did what me and the war department did, and get those cabin cuddly's to stay warm. (THE BLANKET WITH SLEEVES) Have you gotten yours yet? if not, right now you can get 2 for the price of one. its a good deal.  the cabin cuddler http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS my philosophy http://www.thepostm are you sure http://www.thepostm kiss the bride http://www.thepostm she'll never know http://www.thepostm thanks Eddie! http://www.thepostm Al? I need your crowbar http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Jay Lenno http://www.thepostm recycle condoms http://www.thepostm Mr. Been's wedding http://www.thepostm the treadmill http://www.thepostm amazing machine http://www.thepostm extreme sports http://www.thepostm  POWER POINT DISPLAYS Follow directions http://www.thepostm digital camera http://www.thepostm catching moments http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF sling shot man http://www.thepostm Ellen Degeneres http://www.thepostm job interview http://www.thepostm I see lawsuits http://www.thepostm A man walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he noticed about her was her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism zipper, buttons 'or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling overhow she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerveto ask her. "Excuse me, miss," he asked, "but how do you get into yourpants? " "Well," she replied, "You can start by buying me a drink..." ____________ A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" "Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway." "OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have you slept with?" "That's my business!" snapped the woman. "Oh, cool!" said the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living at it!" ____________ An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and cupping a hand to drink from the farm pond. The Amish farmer shouts, 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows SHlT in it'.) The kneeling man shouts back, angrily, 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak to me in English.' The Amish farmer replies, 'Use two hands, you'll get more ____________ Still Not Parent of the Year http://www.funpagee Squirt First, Questions Later http://www.funpagee The Camera Adds 10 Years http://www.funpagee Nothing But Fertilizer http://www.funpagee Making a Brain Withdrawal http://www.funpagee The Old Dumb and Dash http://www.funpagee What Smells Like Feet? http://www.funpagee The Not So Great Escape http://www.funpagee Grand Theft Dumbo http://www.funpagee ____________ A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." "I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And, no doubt, you want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward." ____________ One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!" ____________ A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch. ____________ Damn Rex http://buffalosjoke Dont Blame Me http://buffalosjoke How Women Feel About Their Tits http://buffalosjoke ____________ Going for Broke http://tinyurl. PAPA Thorn Pretty useless info http://able2laff. Succulent Dish http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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