THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.  http://www.thepostm Hundreds of FREE Screensavers! Totally Free! Thousands of free photos & exclusive 3-D animations to choose from NO registration required NO Spyware or Adware http://www.thepostm  http://www.thepostm When it comes to cigarette smoke, we want to know what consumers prefer. Do you carry Camels? Are you a Marlboro Man? Or do you choose to be smoke and cigarette-free? Take our quick Tobacco Survey & Get a $100 Visa Gift Card as a thank you for your time! Use your $100 however you want, on anything you want, anytime you want! Must be 21 or older to vote. http://www.thepostm  http://www.thepostm PROCaulk - PERFECT CORNERS * SEAMLESS JOINTS * NO WASTED CAULK! PROCaulk is the only hassle-free way to apply silicone with no mess and a perfect finish every time or Your Money Back. Designed to apply and seal silicone, acrylic, caulk, and other compounds, ProCaulkª is quick and easy to use, saving you time, money, and effort. PROCaulk TOOL WITH 4 EDGES IS: * Perfect for large sealing tasks * Perfect for small sealing tasks and grouting * Perfect for hard-to-reach places * Also comes with silicone remover tool http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! YAHOO NEWS WASHINGTON – Motorists are driving less and buying less gasoline, which means fuel taxes aren't raising enough money to keep pace with the cost of road, bridge and transit programs. A federal commission created by Congress to find a way to make up the growing revenue shortfall in the program that funds highway repairs and construction is talking about increasing federal gas and diesel taxes. A roughly 50 percent increase in gasoline and diesel fuel taxes is being urged by the commission until the government devises another way for motorists to pay for using public roads. If you are wondering why you are paying the price you are for a gallon of gas, forget about the law of supply and demand. Its bullshit. The real motivator for what we pay at the pumps is decided by greedy law makers in Washington. And other bureacrats such as OPEC who want to decide the amount of production. If we are smart, we can forget about the economy cars and start buying the gas guzzlers again like we used to, because one way or another, we are gonna get it up the shaft. If the arabs don't do it to us the Washington bureaucrats will. ============ In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and countour blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible. Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it's forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place when this man takes up residency in this house. This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character". There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be many times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly. But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible. Who is this man you ask? You think you know, don't you? See below.  If you are like a lot of folks, you are probably wondering how to cut down your expenses in a struggling and scary economy. Me and the war department are rather frugal, but we did manage to find one way. We were paying a lot of money out to our cable tv provider. and the ironic thing was, we were not getting that much out of it. So, we got rid of it. At first I was a little bummed by it, as I am in the house all day, but then I found out how to save money by using the puter to watch the shows I want to...  http://www.thepostm Turn Your PC into a Super TV Unlock 1000+ TV Channels on Your PC Watch: - News Channels, - Movie Trailers, - Music Videos, - Sports Highlights - In just 2 minutes it can all be yours. To watch now, click HERE http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS now that we're married http://www.thepostm the restaurant http://www.thepostm the evils of drinking http://www.thepostm wait a minute http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Cat house on the kings http://www.thepostm the stethoscope http://www.thepostm get a hair cut http://www.thepostm why men need tool boxes http://www.thepostm funny gym commerical http://www.thepostm David Copperfield http://www.thepostm  A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ , so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.' 'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!' ____________ Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Applebee's 10. Waitress asks, "Would you like to hear about our selection of half-finished meals?" 9. "Lo-cal Salad" consists of shredded straws and napkins 8. Walls are covered in whimsically framed health code violations 7. It's a dollar extra if you want your milk shake boneless 6. Coffee isn't bottomless, but the busboy is 5. Take-out delivery involves your address and a giant slingshot 4. All you hear from the kitchen is, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty" 3. Only dessert option is a packet of Sweet 'N Low 2. The chef just washed his hands...in your french onion soup 1. Waiter asks you to touch his riblets __________ A guy dies and goes to Hell,when he gets down there its nothing at all like he thought it would be its just like the beach clear blue sky about 85 degrees sandy beach and waves as far as the eye can see. As the guy starts walking along the beach he comes upon an old dude he knows who died a few years back the old dudes laying on the beach with this super hot little hardbody blonde all wrapped around him and a large cooler chest of beer at his feet. The young guy askes in amazement,This is hell? yeah the old dude responds,wanna beer? sure the young guy says as he grabs one from the cooler turning the can of beer over several times he cries Hey theres no hole in this beer! Yeah the old dude says pitifully,theres no hole in this blonde either THIS IS HELL!!! ___________ Postal clerk to elderly customer: "That will be $2.40 for Priority Mail or $1.30 for Parcel Post." "What's the difference?" "Priority Mail is faster." "There's no hurry, just so the package is delivered within my lifetime." "That will be $2.40, please." ___________ Signs You Bought a Lemon for a Car 1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman. 2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a direct line to Moe's Towing Company. 3. The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery. 4. The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening. 5. The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed. 6. You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner. 7. As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door to the service bay and waves you in. ____________ Smoke 'Em Out If You Got 'Em http://www.funpagee New Year Pucker Up http://www.funpagee What Doesn't Kill You http://www.funpagee Here Today, Gun Tomorrow http://www.funpagee ID Stands for Is Dumb http://www.funpagee Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 http://www.funpagee If The Bear Has Horns http://www.funpagee Say No to Pants http://www.funpagee Police Academy http://www.funpagee Legislator's Got Game http://www.funpagee New Year Predictions http://www.funpagee A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his wiener. Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, told Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient. "How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan. "How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled: 'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!'" ____________ When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to." The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!" ____________ A doctor was transferred to a very tough Marine commando base. On the first day, three soldiers arrived to see him. The first soldier marched in and snapped to attention. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor. "I've got piles, Sir!" shouted the soldier. "How have you been treating them?" asked the doctor, as he examined the soldier. "I've been rubbing my ass with a wire brush until it bleeds, Sir!" "And what is your ambition in life, soldier?" "I just want to serve my country, Sir!" The doctor was amazed that a soldier in so much pain just wanted to do his duty. Just then another soldier walked in. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor. "I've got gonorrhea, Sir!" shouted the soldier. "How have you been treating it until now?" "I've been rubbing the end of my penis with a wire brush until it bleeds, Sir!" "And what is your ambition in life, soldier?" "I just want to serve my country, Sir!" Again, the doctor was amazed that a soldier in so much pain just wanted to do his duty. Finally, a third soldier walked in, and the doctor asked him about his problem. "I've got ulcerated gums, Sir!" the soldier bellowed. "Let me guess.... You've been rubbing your gums with a wire brush until they bleed, right?" "Yes, Sir!" replied the soldier. "And your main ambition in life is to serve your country, right?" "No, Sir... to be the first to use the wire brush, Sir!" ____________ Top Ten Signs Your Spouse May Be Having An On-Line Affair 10. Lately she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand. 5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software". 4. Lipstick on the mouse. 3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!" 2. The fax file is filled with pictures of someone's butt. 1. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear. ____________ BUFFALO BILL Horse Race http://www.buffalos Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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