Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says it's that time of the year again when the people a 5
minute walk up the hill from me decide what words should be
banished from the language forever. This is only a small portion
of the list and comments and they invite you to add your choices
and comments.
http://www.lssu.edu/banished/current.php
Lake Superior State University 2009 List of Banished Words
"It's that time of year again!"
Lake Superior State University "maverick" word-watchers, fresh from
the holiday "staycation" but without an economic "bailout" even
after a "desperate search," have issued their 34th annual List of
Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use
and General Uselessness. This year's list may be more "green" than
any of the previous lists and includes words and phrases that people
from "Wall Street to Main Street" say they love "not so much" and
wish to have erased from their "carbon footprint."
Environmental buzzwords are getting the axe this year. "Green" and
"going green" received the most nominations.
GREEN - The ubiquitous 'Green' and all of its variables, such as
'going green,' 'building green,' 'greening,' 'green technology,'
'green solutions' and more, drew the most attention from those who
sent in nominations this year.
CARBON FOOTPRINT or CARBON OFFSETTING - "It is now considered
fashionable for everyone, tree hugger or lumberjack alike, to pay
money to questionable companies to 'offset' their own 'carbon
footprint.' What a scam! Get rid of it immediately!" Ginger Hunt,
London, England.
MAVERICK - "The constant repetition of this word for months before
the US election diluted whatever meaning it previously had. Even the
comic offshoot 'mavericky' was terribly overused. A minimum
five-year banishment of both words is suggested so they will not be
available during the next federal election." Matthew Mattila, Green
Bay, Wisc.
FIRST DUDE - "Skateboard English is not an appropriate way to refer
to the spouse of a high-ranking public official." Paul Ruschmann,
Canton, Mich.
Of course, the economy couldn't escape the list this year.
BAILOUT - "Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks'
balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from
jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout." Ben Green,
State College, Penn.
Sometimes it takes a huge stretch of the imagination to understand
what a two and a half year old is saying. Moo Me is easy because she
was
staring at the computer after Buffy had played a DVD for her,
translation Movie. A few days ago Eva came up to me and said, " Butt
Cheese." I yelled at Buffy she needed to change Eva and went back to
what I was working on. Next day same thing and I yelled for Buffy
again because I didn't want to know the meaning of Butt Cheese. Come
to find out today what she was really saying was, " Brush Teeth "
and she wanted her tooth brush from the bathroom.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Green: The New Red, White and Blue
One of Discovery's most popular DVDs! Pulitzer Prize winner and
best-selling author Thomas L. Friedman reporting. Watch Friedman
find solutions to global warming and learn why it makes good sense
to go green!
Earth Book: Our Changing Planet
The newest book from Discovery! Loaded with vivid satellite
photographs, colorful maps and detailed illustrations; Earth Book
brings to life a wide range of critical issuesâ€"from human pressure
on the environment to the growth of renewable energy sources.
Get the DVD plus the Book at one bargain price!
The DVD and book sell separately for $37.00. ORDER NOW and Receive
BOTH for only $24.95 plus FREE SHIPPING!
http://buffaloschips.com/green
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cooking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting in a small restaurant, a client asked
the proprietor for the menu.
"We don't need a menu here," said the
proprietor, "We can serve anything you ask for."
"What? Anything?" asked the client.
"Yes, anything at all." was the reply.
"In that case, I would like some camel's tail
soup."
"Very well, sir, but it will take a little while,
and you will have to wait a while for it."
"That's OK," said the client. He sat waiting for
an hour or so, then a waiter brought a tureen
of fragrant soup. He ate the lot, and was thoroughly
delighted. He called for the proprietor. "I really
enjoyed that," he said, "But surely it was not
really camel's tail soup."
"It certainly was" exclaimed the proprietor. "Tell
you what, come with me."
The client was led to the back of the restaurant,
where a Porsche was parked, and was motioned
into it. They drove about a hundred miles into the
countryside, to an enormous farm. There the
client was amazed to see every possible kind of
exotic plants, animals and birds. The restaurant
proprietor pointed to a compound in which there
were two camels, of which one had only a stump
of a tail, bandaged, with a trace of blood.
"That's where your soup came from," he announced.
The client was absolutely floored. "That is
remarkable," he gasped, "but there must
sometimes be demands you can't satisfy."
"No," replied the proprietor, "we have never been
caught out... Wait, no, we were once... when a
customer asked for crocodile balls on toast. We
were clean out of bread that day!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Love Chicken
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31202.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31202.htm "> Here!</a>
Tongue Tricks
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31201.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31201.htm "> Here!</a>
Zoloft
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31101.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31101.htm
"> Here!</a>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Odd Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a story about a certain bookmaker who was making a long
trip
by
car when towards nightfall he happened upon an inn which had a most
unusual name, The Even Steven. Since it was located in the middle of
a
desolate stretch of country, and he didn't know how much farther the
next place would be, he decided to stop there for the night, and
satisfy
his curiosity about the name at the same time.
"It's very simple, really," the proprietor explained. "You see, my
name
is Steven Even. So I just decided to turn it around and call this
The
Even Steven. I thought if might get a few folks puzzled enough to
stop
and ask questions, and sometimes it does."
"That's a pretty smart way to use the luck of a name," said the
bookie
appreciatively. "I bet it brings you a lot of business."
"It hasn't brought me so much luck," he said. "The folks who stop
here
don't stay long. There's not much gaiety around here, as you could
see.
In fact, there's not another soul lives closer than thirty miles
away,
whichever way you go. Makes it pretty lonely for me, a widower. And
worse still for my daughters. Three of the loveliest girls you ever
set
eyes on, should have their pick of boy friends. But, they are
getting
so
frustrated they're about to do anything for a man."
The bookie made sympathetic noises, and listened to more in the same
vein until hunger obliged him to change the subject to that of food.
An
excellent home-cooked dinner was served to him by a gorgeous blonde
who
introduced herself as Blanche Even; and when he was finished she
still
kept pressing him to ask for anything else he wanted. Finally, she
said,
"Would you like me to sit and talk to you for a while?"
"Thank you," he said politely, "but I've had a long day and I feel
like
closing the book."
He went to his room and had just started to undress when there was a
knock at the door and an absolutely breath-taking brunette came in.
"I'm Carmen Even," she said. "I just wanted to see if you'd got
everything you want."
"I think so, thank you," he said pleasantly. "I do a lot of
traveling,
so I pack very systematically."
When he had finally convinced her and got rid of her, he climbed in
between the sheets and was preparing to read himself to sleep over
the
Racing Form when the door opened again to admit an utterly gorgeous
redhead in a negligee to end all negligees. "I'm Ginger Even," she
announced. "I wanted to be sure your bed was comfortable."
"It is," he assured her.
"I hope you're not just being tactful," she insisted. "May I try it
myself?"
"If you must," said the bookie primly. "I will get out while you do
it."
When she had gone, he settled down with a sigh of relief and was
about
to put out the light at last when the door burst open once more and
the
proprietor himself stomped in, glowing with indignation. "What's the
matter with you," he roared. "I got to listen all night to my
daughters
moaning an' wailing, the most luscious gals in this county, because
they
all try to show you hospitality an' you won't give one of 'em a
tumble.
Ain't us Evens good enough for you?"
"I'm sorry," said the transient. "But I told you when I registered
I'm a
professional bookmaker. I only lay Odds."
Via Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EZ Combs - Stretchable Double Combs
Create dozens of dazzling hairstyles instantly with your very own
set of EZ Combs. What are they? EZ Combs are what they say they are
-- EZ.
Simply slide in one end of the EZ Comb.
Stretch the EZ Comb around your hair.
Slide in the other side, and there you have it.
A Perfect Hairstyle in 3 EZ steps.
Create a variety of hairstyles for all types of occaisions,
including Weddings & Formal Events,
the Office, Nights out on the Town, Working Out, and even in your
bed. EZ Combs are soft & comfortable.
http://buffaloschips.com/combs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wrestling Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Russian and an Australian wrestler were set
to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before
the final match, the Aussie wrestler's trainer
came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the
research we've done on this Russian. He's never
lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he
has, whatever you do don't let him get you in this
hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in acknowledgment. As the
match started, the Aussie and the Russian circled
each other several times, looking for an opening.
All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward,
grabbing the Aussie and wrapping him up in the
dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment
arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his
face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He
couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from
the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in
time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air.
His back hit the mat with a thud and the Aussie
collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning
the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got the
Aussie wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever
get out of that hold? No one has ever done it
before!"
The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give
up when he got me in that hold but at the last
moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of
testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing
to lose. So with my last ounce of strength I
stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as
hard as I could."
"So, the trainer exclaimed, "That is what finished
him off!"
"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get
when you bite your own balls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Run PC Speedscan Pro today to detect hundreds of useless files that
may
be slowing down your PC. You'll be amazed at how much faster and
more
stable your computer becomes.
- Find and eliminate harmful errors
- Help stabilize your Windows system
- Fast and easy to use for beginners and experts
- Runs on all new and older Windows machines
- Returns your PC to its original high performance!
Don't delay! Make your computer faster and more stable with the
simple click of a mouse!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gator Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feeling horrible, an alligator goes to the veterinarian.
"What seems to be the problem?" the vet asks.
"I just don't have the drive I used to, Doc, " the gator says. "Used
to be, I could swim underwater for miles and catch any animal I
wanted.
Now all I can do is let them swim by."
Concerned, the vet gives him a through examination and hands him a
few
pills. "What are these?" the gator asks.
"It's a pill very similar to Viagra," the vet answers.
"Hold on, I don't have that kind of problem." The alligator
protests. "What exactly is wrong with me?" "Well." The vet says,
"you have a reptile dysfunction."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROCaulk - PERFECT CORNERS * SEAMLESS JOINTS * NO WASTED CAULK!
PROCaulk is the only hassle-free way to apply silicone with no mess
and a perfect finish every time or Your Money Back. Designed to
apply and seal silicone, acrylic, caulk, and other compounds,
ProCaulk is quick and easy to use, saving you time, money, and
effort.
PROCaulk TOOL WITH 4 EDGES IS:
* Perfect for large sealing tasks
* Perfect for small sealing tasks and grouting
* Perfect for hard-to-reach places
* Also comes with silicone remover tool
5 YEAR WARRANTY
ORDER NOW
http://buffaloschips.com/caulk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher,
but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because the fiercest
teacher in the school had entered the class. Her face is as fierce
as
a lion which will bite anyone's head off if offended... And if you
wanna know more.... follow the lesson.
Students: Good morning, teacher.
Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning? What about
afternoon and night?
Students: Good morning, afternoon and night teacher!
Teacher : That is unacceptable! It is too long. Just wish me best
regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and
full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all times.
Students: Best regards teacher!
Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I'm going to test
you
all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a sentence
or
word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite meaning to the
words, understand?
Students: Understood teacher!
Teacher : I do not want any disturbance!
Students: (silence)
Teacher : Clever!
Students: Stupid!
Teacher : High!
Students: Low!
Teacher : Wrong!
Students: Correct!
Teacher : Stupid!
Students: Clever!
Teacher : No!
Students: Yes!
Teacher : Oh God!
Students: Oh Slave!
Teacher : Listen to this!
Students: Listen to that!
Teacher : Quiet!
Students: Noisy!
Teacher : That's not a question, stupid!
Students: This is an answer, clever!
Teacher : I'm dead!
Students: We're alive!
Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
Students: We are hardworking to learn!
Teacher : Enough! Enough!
Students: More! More!
Teacher : Stop! Stop!
Students: Start! Start!
Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
Students: Because I am someone clever!
Teacher : Lack manners!
Students: Taught enough!
Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!
Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
Teacher : Enough, stupid!
Students: Not yet, clever!
Teacher : Stand up!
Students: Sit down!
Teacher : You people are dumb!
Students: We are gifted!
Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon!
Students: Released tonight!
Teacher : (Keeps quiet, gathers her books and leaves)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eco Canteen - Be Healthy and Go Green
Protect Your Family's Health with this stainless steel water bottle.
Studies are coming out at a rapid rate showing the dangers of
ingesting toxins leached from plastic bottles. Why place your
family at risk? Aluminum bottles are also a danger, as they require
a special chemical coating that often peels off into the water you
drink. Get one of the Top Ten Green Products of the century and get
an insulated tote on us.
View Web Version
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the
house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has
finally quit smoking.
"Imagine that, Marty," she says, "someone who smoked 3 packs a day
for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I
call will power - something that you definitely don't have."
But Sadie hadn't finished.
"And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of
yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind
of will power that you don't have."
"OK, Sadie," said Marty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well
here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now
on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by
not sleeping with a woman."
Marty keeps to his word.
One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a
knock on his bedroom door.
Marty shouts out, "What do you want?"
Sadie replies, "Marvin has started smoking again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out
Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.
Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschips.com/guards
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Southern Gentleman
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/St/Gent.html
Drink Responsibly!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/drink.html
Whispering Trees
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol16.html
Even Me
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems50/Even%20Me.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion
on various online surveys that only take a few minutes to complete.
So if you're interested in earning a nice extra income each month
for just giving your opinion on various surveys then press here to
begin: http://buffaloschips.com/survey
PSC and its partners bring you fresh opportunities to express your
opinions, participate in online focus groups, try out new products,
be heard AND be paid to boot! How would you like to sit in the
comfort of your own home, fill out surveys online, and participate
in online focus groups and get a nice big paycheck at the end of the
month?
You can participate whenever you'd like, morning, noon, night ..
midnight if you'd like .. it doesn't matter. Simply log in and
select surveys to fill out, get paid for your time. Work for 30
minutes or three hours, it doesn't matter ..you set your own hours!
Press here to start
http://buffaloschips.com/survey
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Humans of note who passed in 2008
http://dpsinfo.com/dps/2008.html#latest
Ponzi Schemes
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/12/22/9-most-brazen-ponzi-schemes-in-h
istory/
S-3 Viking
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S-3_Viking
How to Open A Coconut
http://www.howtoopenacoconut.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!
If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
membership to the best ADULT DATING SITE around! All of the members
of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one
intimate and fun encounters! You have to check it out!
Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT
want to date beautiful singles in your city for intimate encounters
then do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no
cost.
If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to
look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
http://buffaloschips.com/dating
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Anti Spyware
http://www.superantispyware.com/
Network/Computer Glossery http://www.wtcs.org/snmp4tpc/glossary.htm
TRAIN SONGS AND SOUNDS
http://members.tripod.com/~NASCARULZ/upmidwavs.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone Shoplifting Dog Via Carol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3OQK6qMRGk&NR=1
Kitty Korner FUNNY CATS SING NEW YEARS Via Dianne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o-aJa8HFac
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
There is no cost involved for you to play: You DO NOT need to
deposit any money or give a credit card number to play...BUT YOU CAN
WIN CASH!
Don't miss this chance!
Press here to Start Playing Today!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
Honey I'm Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswas.htm
Horse Race
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aaswa.htm
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxa.htm
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aqwsa.htm
German speed bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0105.htm
Get out of my bed cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0106.htm
GGG music video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0107.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boob Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SCOOBY DOOBIE DOOBIES
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about
enlarging
her breasts. He told her, "Everyday when you get out of the shower,
rub
your nipples and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger
boobies".
So she did this faithfully for several months, and it worked!
She grew great boobs!
One morning she was running late and when she was on the bus she
realized
she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her
new
boobs and didn't want to lose them. So she got up, right in the
middle of the
bus, and said, "Scooby doobie doobies I want bigger boobies."
A guy was sitting nearby and asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by
any chance?"
"Why yes, I do. How did you know?"
He leaned toward her and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pampered Toes is the new miracle foot therapy product that soothes
and revives tortured toes in minutes!
Just slip your feet into Pampered Toes and feel the stretching
and extending of your toes, leaving you feeling healthy and
refreshed.
Pampered Toes are waterproof so you can even wear them in the shower
or bathtub. Order now and receive a second pair of PINK
Pampered Toes absolutely Free.
Additional Ordering Details:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bringing the Magtag
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52764.htm
Better when a beast
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52765.htm
Big objects
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52766.htm
Suggestion
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52767.htm
A Bit Behind
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=001A_bit_behind.jpg
The Boss
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=001Boss.jpg
Alien jokes
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=001Alien_jokes.jpg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
Additional Ordering Details:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
Every morning and night
If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.
*******************************************************
A Christian Scientist from Theale
Said, "Though I know that pain isn't real
When I sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin
I dislike what I fancy I feel!"
*******************************************************
There was a young German named Ringer
Who was screwing an opera singer.
Said he with a grin,
"Well, I've sure got it in!"
Said she, "You mean that ain't your finger?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PASTA N MORE - The Amazing New 5-in-1 Pasta Cooker!
Cook, Drain and Serve All In One!
Pasta N More is made of certified materials, fits in any microwave,
its dishwasher safe and makes dinner for 1 or a family of 9. The
unique design swirls the water and not the pasta quickly cooking it
to a perfect al dente texture! Youll receive the air-tight storage
lid to keep left-overs fresh and perfect for saving, storing or
reheating meals in an instant.
Offer includes!
* Pasta Pot
* 2 Handles
* Strainer Lid
* Steam Rack
* Storage Lid
* Cookbook
BONUS COLOR CODED KNIVES WHEN YOU ORDER TODAY
http://buffaloschips.com/pasta
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that
they had a
lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more
intimate
correspondence. After months of virtual kinkiness, the two decided
to meet
each other face-to-face at a small cafe.
Bunny arrived a little late. One customer, a short, frail man with
an eye
patch, sat at the back of the cafe.
"Are you Bob?" asked Bunny.
"Yes I am," said Bob.
"Unbelievable!" Bunny exclaimed. "You told me you were tall, dark
and
handsome."
"How do you think I feel?" Bob asked, his face turning red with
shame. "You
told me you were skinny, blonde, and female!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschips.com/peeler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a meeting last week of the Executive Council of an organization
to
which I belong, several of the members began a bickering before the
start of the meeting. They were talking and complaining about
several of the members not discussing various information needed by
all members and retaining silence about a variety of important
factors. One of the members, a woman, spoke in a somewhat
authoritative voice and said, "I agree with all that has been said
and I think that everyone would be more observant about the needs
and
interests of the remainder of the Council Anyone of you can ask me
any question and I will respond telling you the complete truth. One
of the men asks her, "What size bra do you wear?" She glared at him
momentarily and in a harshly toned voice said, "Shut up!!! That's
none of your business!! I'll never tell!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sands Of Christ
Feel a closeness to the Lord like never before!
If you're looking for the perfect gift, or you just want to
strengthen your bond with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, look no
further.
This rare item is very limited, don't miss your chance! To get yours
now, click here:
http://buffaloschips.com/sands
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1493
New Year's Resolutions
BJ sees the dogs writing things down and asks: What are you guys
doing?
Rudy: Making our New Year's Resolutions.
BJ: What do you have on your list so far?
Rudy: I need to lose weight, exercise more and try and get in
better
shape.
BJ: Yeah, that is a great goal. How about you Sandi?
Sandi: I think I need to cut down on killing. Killing varmits is
okay but not
innocent creatures. So varmits like moles is okay but not rabbits
or grass
snakes, maybe not coyotes. I might try and lose a few pounds also.
BJ: Good idea Sandi. Katie?
Katie: I need to gain weight, but I love to run so I need to eat
more.
Rudy/Sandi: Grumble...
BJ: Yeah, you have the perfect problem. You eat as much as Sandi
and
Rudy, but you are thin whereas they are a bit on the chunky side.
Rudy/Sandi: Grumble...
BJ: For me I need to lose more weight, exercise and just get
heathier.
Sandi: Please do Daddy, we want you here for a long time.
Rudy: Last year was the pits, first year I had pain, doc said I had
the
tisms of getting old. So I have to watch myself.
BJ: Yep, it is arthritis Rudy, it is in your hips. You are one
year older than
Katie and two years older than Sandi and Labs tend to be that way
you are
about 53 years old in doggie years.
Rudy: A-Roo?
Katie: Me?
BJ: About 46 years old Katie.
Thud!
BJ: And Sandi you are about 39. Time to start doing what you can
to
stay young.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
------------------------------------
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffalos-adult-jokes/
<*> Your email settings:
Individual Email | Traditional
<*> To change settings online go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffalos-adult-jokes/join
(Yahoo! ID required)
<*> To change settings via email:
mailto:buffalos-adult-jokes-digest@yahoogroups.com
mailto:buffalos-adult-jokes-fullfeatured@yahoogroups.com
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
No comments:
Post a Comment