THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The wind may blow from any direction,
but the direction in which you go depends
on how you set your sails.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I hope that all of your loved ones can have
a safe journey home for Christmas. Fortunately
for me, all of my immediate family lives close.
So we will all be gathered around the Christmas
tree on Christmas day. And everyone has the day
off as well. So it is a special blessing to me that
we will share, and I am looking forward to it.
Not only that, but everyone will also be here for
Christmas eve as well! On Christmas eve it was always
a tradition for us to go to Christmas eve service
at church, go driving around looking at Christmas
lights afterwards, and then open presents afterwards.
The presents we always used to remind our children,
of the birth of the Christchild. The stockings on
Christmas morning were in celebration of Santa's
arrival. One sad thing is about this holiday,
unfortunately, the extended family for both me
and the war department live too far away to
get together. But we take our blessings where we
find them. For me, the greatest is to be able to
share the holiday with all of my treasures
gathered around together in one room for Christmas.
The rest of it does not matter. I wish traveling
mercies and blessing for all of you who have
relatives traveling home that they all arrive
safely with God speed
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially, Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
did you hear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f020.html
the children
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f021.html
if penises could be doctors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f022.html
I made him chose
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f023.html
he'll be ok
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f024.html
sunglasses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f025.html
one thing left
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f026.html
lavatory
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f027.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a perfect kiss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8694.html
getting off the elevator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8695.html
hig school
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8696.html
3 stooges - Night b4 Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8697.html
Rockin around the Christmas tree
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8698.html
tank battles in Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8699.html
_____________
SIGNS OF TROUBLE IN SANTA'S MARRIAGE
10) He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad
Swedish exchange students.
9) Mrs. Claus calls him
"that fat freak in the red underwear."
8) He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.
7) He's been spending a little too much time with the
life-sized holiday Barbie.
6) His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.
5) Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship
with accountant from New Jersey.
4) He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when
she's awake because he's bugged the bedroom.
3) Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe
when she brings the elves their morning coffee.
2) Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing
in front of the fireplace.
1) Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.
___________
I was talking to a friend of mine, and he told me that he's
been married a little over four years and was celebrating
his 'Wooden' anniversary.
I asked what a 'wooden' anniversary was.
He said, "I asked her to give me a blow job and she wooden.
__________
A nurse and a doctor met at a medical convention one-day.
Right away they hit it off quite well.
As the day went on, they got to know each other better.
They decided to go to lunch together.
While they were waiting for lunch the nurse excused herself
to go to the ladies room to wash her hands.
When she got back, they ate lunch and chatted some more.
Then just before they left, she excused herself again
to go wash her hands. As the day went on, they decided that
they would meet that night at his hotel room and get to
know each other better. That night, when the nurse first
got there, she asked to use his wash room to wash her hands.
Then she came out and they talked, kissed, petted and started
getting really aroused. The finally moved their love making to
the bedroom, but on the way there, the nurse stopped at the
bathroom and washed her hands again. They had sex, which
the doctor found was very enjoyable. Afterwards, the nurse
excused herself to wash her hands again. When she came back to
the bedroom, the doctor said, "I would bet any amount of money
that you are a surgical nurse."The nurse replied, "You are right.
How did you know that?" The doctor said, "It is obvious.
You are constantly washing your hands."
The nurse said in reply, "And I would bet anything that you
are an Anaesthesiologist."
"Very good." replied the doctor. "How did you know that?"
The Nurse replied, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
______________
Every time a new Pope is elected, there's a whole lot of rituals
and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with
tradition. Well there's one tradition that very few people know
about.Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks
an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he
presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top
of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.
The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of
rejection.The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and
does not return until the next Pope is elected.
John Paul II was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were
unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican
to research it, but they came up with nothing.
When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his
presence, he faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the
Chief Rabbi turned to leave, he called him back.
"My brother," the Holy Father whispered, "I must confess that
we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted
for centuries between us and you, the representative of the
Jewish people. I have to ask you, what is it all about?"
The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: "But we have no more idea
than you do. The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions
of ancient history."
The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy
a glass of wine together, then, with your agreement, we shall
open the envelope and discover at last the secret."
The Chief Rabbi agreed.
Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open
the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the
Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of
similarly ancient paper.
As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it.
They both gasped with shock.
It was the check for the Last Supper.
______________
A Texas Redneck was driving his old pick up truck
down the road with his girlfriend at his side when all
of a sudden the truck started to buck and stall.
With that, he said to his girlfriend that he had to get
a new truck. He walked down the block and found a GMC dealership.
Once inside a sales lady approaches him and says,
"Sir, may I help you".
He looks at a hummer and says to the saleslady,
"How much for a hummer?"
She replies, well they start at $49,000 and go up from there.
He says, "$49,000. That's a lot of money, I can get one
a lot cheaper!"The saleslady assures him that she has the
lowest prices in the state of Texas. Then she says, "Sir if
you can get a hummer cheaper than what I will give it to
you for, I will give you the key to this truck right now."
With that, the Redneck walks out, gets his girlfriend,
brings her into the dealership and says, "Honey, will you
give me a hummer for $50.00.She says, "Hell yes."
He turns to the saleslady and asks, "Where do I pick up my
keys to that new truck?"
______________
A Baptist couple decide that they want to get a dog. As
they are walking down the street in town, they notice
that a sign in the pet shop is advertising "Christian
Puppies." Their interest piqued, they go inside.
"How do you know they're Christian puppies?"
"Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and
says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog runs over to the desk, and
grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible
on the floor, the owner says, "Find Psalm 23." The dog
flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page,
and then stops. Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase
the dog and head home.That evening, they invite some friends
over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm
23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks "Does he
also know 'regular' commands?""Gee, we don't know. We
didn't ask," replies the husband.
Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. He says,
"Lie down." The dog lies down. He says "Roll over." The dog
rolls over. He says "Heel." The dog runs over to him, jumps
up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner's
forehead and bows his head.
"Oh look!" the wife exclaims. "He's PENTECOSTAL!"
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Parking 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asddsas.htm
Parking3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfgds.htm
Peeling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasd.htm
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Funniest Text Messages Ever
http://tinyurl.com/ljf7pw
Hang On
http://tinyurl.com/64roph
Ambulance Tosses Patient Out
http://tinyurl.com/yfhdwdh
______________
SydesJokes LIST
Fairy Tale
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000545.html
Fake Boobs
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000546.html
False Teeth
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000547.html
That's all folks!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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