THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Well, winter is here and I really do not
want to quit riding the motorcycle. I thot
I had come up with an alternative so I would
not have to park it for the winter. Unfortunately
the war department does not like the idea.
I do not know why she is all upset.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
how do you know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c060.html
mission accomplished
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c061.html
own up to it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c062.html
micromanage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c063.html
ok kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c064.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
spring time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8594.html
the pole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8595.html
Brother Bill lived with his brother Bob. Brother
Bill was a cripple, and had to use crutches to get
around, so brother Bob decided to take his brother Bill,
on a trip to Europe, which he had desired for some time.
Upon returning to the USA, they were met by a reporter,
to interview the brothers to hear of their travels.
"So," brother Bob, says, "I went to the leaning tower
of Pizza, went all the way to the top, and it was a
beautiful sight."The reporter asks, "Did brother Bill get to go?"
Bob states, "No, he's cripple ya know."
Then he states that they went to Paris, to visit the
Eiffel Tower and I got to go all the way top.
The reporter asks, "Did brother Bill get to go with you?"
Bob says, "No, he's cripple ya know."
They then stopped by the Vatican, in which they were
able to meet the Pope, who at the time was giving a formal
service. Brother Bill walked up to the Pope with the help
of his crutches. The Pope touched brother Bill on the
left shoulder, and his left crutch went flying off to
the left. He then touched brother Bill on the right
shoulder, and his right crutch just went flying off that way.
At this point, the reporter asked, "Well, did brother
Bill walk after that?"
Brother Bob answers, "No, as a matter of fact, brother
Bill fell on his ass. He's a cripple ya know."
_______________
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish
priest and when he asks her how she is, she
bursts out crying.
"What's the matter child?" he asks.
"Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He
won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic."
"There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain
to him the faith of the Church, the traditions,
the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him
around."
Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it.
About a year later, they meet again, and again
she bursts into tears when he asks how she is
doing.
"Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father."
"Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?"
"Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the
problem. He was so taken by it that he's now
studying to be a priest."
___________
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a
large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,
Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since
I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I
told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that
it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time
you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try
it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have
all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
_______________
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding
through the Afghan desert when he saw something far
off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried
toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man
at a small stand, selling ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you
like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted,
"Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need
water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!
"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter
that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you
continue over that hill to the east for about two miles,
you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice
cold water you need. Shalom."
Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said......,
"Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"
___________
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children
what their fathers did for a living. All the
typical answers came up – fireman, mechanic,
businessman, salesman. so forth.. However, little
Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so
when the teacher prodded him about his father, he
replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay
cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of
other men and they put money in his underwear.
Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will
go home with some guy and stay with him all night
for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement,
hurriedly set the other children to work on some
exercises and took little Justin aside to ask
him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic
National Committee and helped to get Obama
elected, but it's just too embarrassing to say
that in front of the other kids.
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm
Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm
Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES
Thing Thing Arena 3
http://tinyurl.com/d6t7ly
Boxhead Zombie Wars
http://tinyurl.com/d5xh43
Jessica Alba's Got Milk Photo
http://tinyurl.com/3mqake
___________
SYDESJOKES LIS
Dryden Flight Research Centre #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000497.html
DUI Test
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000498.html
Dukes Of Hazard
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000499.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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