[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Sun





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Yesterday was a catch up day for me. I had been procrastinating
on a lot of things during May and decided I better get them done
before things caught up with me. I jumped out of bed early
yesterday and whipped through the lists and got them out before
0900 and went back to bed for 30 minutes for a power nap. I
had been up till 0300 so it's not like I am oversleeping. I got back
up, showered and ran to the Credit Union for funds and then headed
to the hospital for bloodwork for next week's doctor appointment.
Good time to get lab work done on Saturday as everyone is home
asleep and I was able to find a parking spot across from the
entrance and be in and out in 15 minutes. Then I went to McDonald's
and had a sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin and went to
Quaker State and got a full service oil change on the Jimmy and ran
it through the car wash as it seems to have become a target
for all of the flying rats in the neighborhood.

Those jobs done I sat down and put together some plans for painting
the kitchen, recaulking the tub, and finishing spring cleaning. The
load
to the dump helped reduce some clutter last week and we are starting
to be able to see the floors again.

Busy watching a two day marathon of Ice Road Truckers on the History

Channel which is a welcome break from multiple marathons of
Deadliest
Catch on Discovery Channel which had a Man vs. Wild marathon
yesterday
which I would have liked to watch too. Today is a little lazier,
watching the
Tigers as I work on the lists with a new Ice Road Truckers tonight
and
another Breaking Bad to watch. It is too cold for much else as we
won't
see sixties for another week or so.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Fish Chips
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The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of
his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "look at the size of that
Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is--a Son of a Bitch
fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father,
that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good
as a Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.

While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary
inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is--a Son of a
Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of
a Bitch?"

"Why, eat it of course. The guide said nothing compares to the
taste of a Son of a Bitch."

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was
scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the
Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What
are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new
Bishops' dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your
language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch fish".

"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go
with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let
me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The
Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine,
and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get
it?"

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.

The Bishop's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.

The Bishop sat silent in disbelief.

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a
special recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. Slowly a big
smile crept across his face as he said, "You fuckers are my
kind of people."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Wild burros
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Wild-burros

Horse racing
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Hey You...
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Big Fart
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Big Fridge
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Big Mcmac
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000180.html

booty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f001.html

after fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f002.html

this text
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f003.html

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Hangover Chips
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Hangover Rating System

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
relatively
well However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still
feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but
you
have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are
chugging is
only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the
fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is
some
definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume
reminds
you of the flavoured schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you
to
drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed
watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of
water, 3
iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or
else
you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late
and
has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes,
but
that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face.
(For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding
the
bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your
hair
hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about
five
shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone
who
enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the
employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapour is seeping out of
every
pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get
the
remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to
generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have
the
foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed
this
morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like
discharge
of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare floater' thrown in. The sole
purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all
over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Breast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Approved Nicknames for Breasts

1. Democrat Catchers
2. Pastor Baiters
3. Mounds of Shame
4. Communion Woofers
5. Pearly Weights
6. Hooteronomies
7.The Daughters of Lactiticus
8. Racks of Lambs of God
9. First and Second Mammalonians
10. Pamela 36:D

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Quiz Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sexual Tension Quiz

What's on your mind these days? Is it in the gutter as usual? Let's
find
out! (Answers Below)

A. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good.
(What Am I?)

B. I'm spread before I'm eaten.
Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
(What Am I?)

C. I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
(What Am I?)

D. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
(What Am I?)

E. You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
(What Am I?)

F. When I go in I cause pain.
I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
I can fill your hole.
(What Am I?)

G. A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
(What Am I?)

H. All day long, it's in and out.
I discharge loads from my shaft.
Both men and women go down on me.
(What Am I?)

I. I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
(What Am I?)

J. If I miss, I hit your bush.
It's my job to stuff your box.
When I come, it's news.
(What Am I?)

K. I offer Protection.
I get the finger ten times.
You use your fingers to get me off.
(What Am I?)

L. I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver.
(What Am I?)

M. My business is briefs.
I am a cunning linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
(What Am I?)

N. I make some guys shoot in the air.
I usually have a little pecker.
I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
(What Am I?)

Answers:

A. Nose
B. Peanut Butter
C. Crane
D. Titanic
E. Tent
F. Dentist
G. Wedding Ring
H. Elevator
I. Chewing Gum
J. Newspaper Boy
K. Glove
L. Arrow
M. An attorney
N. Bird

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Short Chips
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Doctor Jones, to his new patient: "Patient Valerie, I'd like to give
you
a thorough examination. Please take off all your clothes."

Valerie: "But doctor, I only stopped by for the blood test results.
Dr.
Johnson found me in perfect condition just yesterday."

Doctor Jones: "So he told me . . . so he told me."

A gentleman was much surprised when the good_looking young lady
greeted
him by saying, "Good evening."

He could not remember ever having seen her before. She evidently
realized that she had made a mistake, for she apologized, and
explained.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. When I first saw you I thought you were the
father of
two of my children."

She walked on while the man stared after her. She did not realize,
of
course, that he was unaware of the fact she was a schoolteacher.

The American Mathematical Society used to grant its members a
25_percent
discount on all books it published. Its catalogue gave the list
price of
each book, leaving to its members the task of calculating the
discount
price. But the mathematicians made so many errors in those
computations
that the society had to start printing both the list price and the
member price.

If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their
fathers,
it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings.

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Dying Chips
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A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed
and
said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your
affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into
the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate
when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I
have
cancer.
Let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre.
There
were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached
by
some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the
two were
celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end.
'I've
been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered,
'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just
told
your friends you were dying of AIDS.'

The woman said, 'I don't want any of them sleeping with your father
after
I'm gone.'

Now, that's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order'

Peggy

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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Sweet Parakeet
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Surfin Surfari

Healthy Food Chart Via Sandie
http://www.thepowerhour.com/news2/healthy_food_chart.htm

Staying Cool without Air Conditioning
http://www.wikihow.com/Cool-Yourself-Without-Air-Conditioning

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley

Free Avatar Directory
http://www.avatarsdb.com/

Turn Pictures into Paintings - Very Cool
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HTML Symbol Codes
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Aww Animals 4
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Movie Clips

Lunch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahuio.htm

Lynx Air
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjio.htm

Making A Good Taliban
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrf.htm

Male Invention 478
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Mans favorite Tool
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Lays Potato Chips
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Lightening Strike Caught On Tape
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Little Belgian Lad Saluting Canadian Troops
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Lizard
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Loading A Bike
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two die-hard golfers, Mike & Steve, are out playing a round when a
thunderstorm comes roaring in. On the third tee, a bolt of lighting

comes down and strikes both golfers dead. Arriving at those pearly
gates, God comes down to talk to the two men. "Sorry, but we made a

mistake" says God, "it seems that it was not your time to die. Now,
I
can send you back, but you have to go back as someone different.
It's
just too confusing since they already had the funerals. In fact your

wives are already dating" After the two golfers have a little talk
they approach God and make their request "We decided we want to go
back as a couple of dykes." says Mike, "Good looking dykes if you
please" says Steve. "That's no problem," replies God "but I must
know
why you guys want to be dykes" "Well we figure if we go back as
dykes
we still get to have sex with woman." says Mike, "Plus" adds Steve "

we get to play from the ladies tee."

Stan Kegel

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anniversary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oi23j.htm

Annoy Someone
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Another Planet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/09u3.htm

Another Quarter
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Anti-Telemarketer
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Anivirus
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a hooker named Gail
Who had her price tatooed on her tail
Also if you are blind
Also on her behind
It's written in braille

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a guy named Herby
who 's girl wore a bowtie and derby
Like it or not,
She had a clean shaven twat
I guess there's no furby for Herby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When a horseplaying golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling....
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away
to
his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature
honeymoon'... He carries her across the threshold, and they get into

bed, when Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain

never been with a man b'fore." "WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his
little bride softly shakes her head... Billy-Joe jumps out of bed,
grabs his clothes, and races out the door, into his truck... down
the
mountain.... straight to his parents house... rushes inside
screaming
"Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" .... His father rushes downstairs and
gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you doin here? "Billy-Joe, still
breathing
hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well, Betty-Sue an I was in the
cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never been with a man' afore....
so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back here... quick as I could! "

His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says
"SON,
Ya done the right thing.... Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her
family,
she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"

Stan Kegel

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one
day. As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for
the
most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out
and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
" First Place" said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the
strongest
man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and
they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the
greatest liar in the world?" Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he
returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is this Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.


Ray

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1609

The Frightful Flight

The plane takes off and is flying quite well.

Rob is laughing: Remember when the old Ford Tri-motor would only
fly about 80 mph at times and the cars on the ground were going
faster
than we were?

Tami: Yes, I grimly remember.

Rob: This plane should put that one to shame. They say you have
never flown until you have flown in a DC-3.

Tami: Here comes Rudy with a hat in his paw, let's see what he
wants.

Rudy: I am taking donations for petrol. We may have enough to make
it or we might be short. This is not required, but if you wish to
donate..

Tami: This is absurd!

Rob: Here ya go Rudy, here is fifty dollars.

Rudy: Thank you Rob and blessing be with you.

Tami: How could you Rob?

Rob: Do you want to arrive or arrive short of our destination?

Tami: Gulp! Rudy, I have one hundred dollars for you.

Katie: Sandi will be landing in North Carolina and gas up at a
Shell
Station on Highway one. You guys might want to buckle up.

Tami: Highway one!!!! Not an airport?

Katie: No, we don't have a real license yet to land at an airport.
Gus
has flown a head and told us about this gas station. He said the
traffic on the road shouldn't be too bad.

Tami: Ack!!!!

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER


Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good
person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack
you because you are a vegetarian.

 

GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!
Fame and fortune come at a high price these days, as Susan
Boyle, Britain's got talent superstar, was beaten out
in competition by Diversity, a street dance group, on Saturday.
In the mean time, The star couple on the reality tv show,
John and Kate plus 8 is being investigated officially for
violation of child labor laws. Seems like you get up to
"the top" and there is somebody there waiting to knock you
off. Wonder what will happen with Nadia Suleman, the octuplet
mom? She is already making about 40 to 50 thousand dollars a
year for guest interviews on tv. Now it appears that she is
being offered her own television show. Wonder if the FCC will
censure her for showing a breast feeding scene?
Wonder if your's truly could get his own tv show?
Yeah, a computer/motorcycle reality tv series!
Wouldn't that be cool?
Only problem is, by the time I backed the bike out of the
shed, I would probably fart at the camera, and then the EPA
would file a lawsuit on me for air pollution.
Sigh ...I guess I shall always live in utter ignominity.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________

 

THE COMICS

booty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f001.html

after fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f002.html

this text
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f003.html

what did you order
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f004.html

great idea
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stop abortions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f006.html

parking the car
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f007.html
______________

 

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
Italy has talent
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don't stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5628.html

pidgeons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5629.html

window washers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5630.html

gravy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5631.html

the gymnist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5632.html

Q: What's the difference between your first honeymoon
   and your second?
A: The first: Niagara; the second: Viagra.

Q: What happened to the boy who ditched school to go
   bungee jumping?
A: He was suspended

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

__________________

Johnny asks, "Mom, what kind of bird brings white babies?"
His mom says, "Why, a stork, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny asks, "Mom, what kind of bird brings black babies?"
His mom says, "A raven, dear."
Little Johnny then asks, "Then what kind of bird brings no babies at all?"
His mom says, "A swallow."
______________

I read a survey the other day. It said that the 'successful woman'
was one who made $38,500 per year.
One of the questions on the survey was, "How many times do you like to make love?"
The most popular answer was two times a day.
If you're having sex two times a day... That's two times, seven days a week,
365 days a year. That's 730 times a year!
Show me a woman having sex 730 times a year and I'll show you a woman who
makes a lot more than $38,500!
_____________

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman,
complete with tool chest, on the front porch. "Madam," he announced,
"I'm the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did."
____________

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
"I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because
I can tell the difference."
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch.
The man takes a sip, scowls and says,
"Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch."
The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch.
The man takes a sip, grimaces and says,
"Bartender, I don't want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch!"
Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch,
The man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that's the real thing."
A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest.
He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says,
"Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do. Try this one."
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries,
"Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk`' eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"

BUFFALO Bill
Good Lickin
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Anna Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iefj.htm

Anna's House
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5e6.htm
__________

SYDESJOKES LIST

Brain Work
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001648.html

Fireworks Factory Smoking Area
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001647.html
__________

PAPA Thorn
 
Wrong way to eat squash  [naughty alert]

Wild burros       
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Wild-burros
 
Horse racing
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=asports-Horse_Race
 
Hey You...               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sign012.jpg

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 



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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For sat





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Today is the Traditional Memorial Day in the U.S. formerly
known as Decoration Day. Perhaps one of the good things
about having a federal holiday and a traditional remembrance
is that we are afforded two chances to look back on those
that have passed and the marks that they have made on our
lives and lifestyles. This is also perhaps a good time to pause
and reflect on a few of our friends who have left us over the
past ten years, after becoming a part of our daily lives on
these ezines.

Oldcat
Old Sailor
Susie From Nebraska
Susan from Ohio
Sir jay
Jim From Modesto
Jim McQuain
Great Granny Charlotte
Ann Lindholm
LynnLynn
Bill W.
Bettie Hall
Howard Lucas
Inkster
Supersied
Big Roger

There are so many more that have written and said how the chips
and the SB were the high point of their loved ones lives and that we
helped making their last days a little more cheerful. My thoughts
are with you all on this day of remembrance.

Turning ourselves back to the military view of today

JUST A COMMON SOLDIER

(A Soldier Died Today)

by A. Lawrence Vaincourt

He was getting old and paunchy and his hair was falling fast,

And he sat around the Legion, telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he had fought in and the deeds that he had done,

In his exploits with his buddies; they were heroes, every one.

And tho' sometimes, to his neighbors, his tales became a joke,

All his Legion buddies listened, for they knew whereof he spoke.

But we'll hear his tales no longer for old Bill has passed away,

And the world's a little poorer, for a soldier died today.

He will not be mourned by many, just his children and his wife,

For he lived an ordinary and quite uneventful life.

Held a job and raised a family, quietly going his own way,

And the world won't note his passing, though a soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth, their bodies lie in state,

While thousands note their passing and proclaim that they were
great.

Papers tell their whole life stories, from the time that they were
young,

But the passing of a soldier goes unnoticed and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution to the welfare of our land

A guy who breaks his promises and cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow who, in times of war and strife,

Goes off to serve his Country and offers up his life?

A politician's stipend and the style in which he lives

Are sometimes disproportionate to the service that he gives.

While the ordinary soldier, who offered up his all,

Is paid off with a medal and perhaps, a pension small.

It's so easy to forget them for it was so long ago,

That the old Bills of our Country went to battle, but we know

It was not the politicians, with their compromise and ploys,

Who won for us the freedom that our Country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger, with your enemies at hand,

Would you want a politician with his ever-shifting stand?

Or would you prefer a soldier, who has sworn to defend

His home, his kin and Country and would fight until the end?

He was just a common soldier and his ranks are growing thin,

But his presence should remind us we may need his like again.

For when countries are in conflict, then we find the soldier's part

Is to clean up all the troubles that the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor while he's here to hear the praise,

Then at least let's give him homage at the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline in a paper that would say,

Our Country is in mourning, for a soldier died today.

C 1987 A. Lawrence Vaincourt

http://www.vaincourt.homestead.com/Common_Soldier.html

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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Navy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Navy Safety Message

P 011503Z NOVEMBER 03 PSN 740648J31
FM COMNAVSURFORCE SAN DIEGO CA//N001//
TO COMPHIBGRU
NAS KEY WEST FL//90//
NAS BRUNSWICK ME//60//
NAS KEFLAVIK IC//70//
NAS KEFLAVIK IC//50//
CINCLANTFLT NORFOLK VA//N11//
CINCPACFLT PEARL HARBOR HI//N1/N21/N11// ALNAVSURFPAC ALNAVSURFLANT
VAIRWARCENWPNDIV PT MUGU CA//311200E/31410E// NAVORDSAFSECACT INDIAN
HEAD
MD//N2// NAVORDSAFSECACT ESSOLANT NORFOLK VA//N712A// NAMTRAGRU
PENSACOLA
FL//2206//
USSTRATCOM OFFUTT AFB NE//J416//
BT
UNCLAS

SUBJ/ SAFE WORK PRACTICES IN POTENTIALLY FLAMMABLE ATMOSPHERES//

MSGID/GENADMIN/CNSF/-/MAY// RMKS/

1. A PETTY OFFICER WAS TREATED AT A MILITARY TREATMENT FACILITY
(MTF)
AFTER
COMPLAINING OF SHORTNESS OF BREATH AFTER WORKING IN AN ENCLOSED
WORKSPACE
WITH SEVERAL OTHER PERSONNEL. THE DINING FACILITY HAD SERVED A
MEXICAN
MEAL
FOR LUNCH,CAUSING SUSPECTED HIGH METHANE AND SULFITE LEVELS IN THE
ATMOSPHERE FROM THE CREW'S FLATULENCE.

2. MANY NAVY PERSONNEL WORK IN FACILITIES AND ON SHIPS WHERE
FLATULENCE
MAY
EXIST, AND,DUE TO MISSION URGENCY,ARE NOT ABLE TO IMMEDIATELY VACATE
THE
SPACE SHOULD THE AIR BECOME FOUL. THIS MISHAP SERVES AS A STRONG
REMINDER
THAT THE EXPRESSION OF FLATULENCE CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS IN
THESE
AREAS,
UNLESS THEY ARE SPECIFICALLY LISTED AS INTRINSICALLY SAFE. THE NAVY
HAS
DEVELOPED THE FOLLOWING SAFE WORK PRACTICE TO ADDRESS THIS
PROBLEM: EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, THE PRACTICE OF EXPELLING
FLATULENCE,
COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS "FARTING," "BREAKING WIND," OR "PASSING
GAS," IS
PROHIBITED ABOARD ALL NAVAL SHIPS, BOATS, VEHICLES, AIRCRAFT, AND
SHORE
INSTALLATIONS.

3. THIS REGULATION APPLIES NOT ONLY TO AUDIBLE FLATULENCE, OR
INCIDENTS
THAT
ARE CLAIMED BY THEIR PERPETRATOR, BUT ALSO TO COVERT EVENTS SUCH AS
"DEADLY
WHISPERS," "CHEEK SNEAKERS," "AIR DUSTINGS."

4. UNAUTHORIZED EXPULSION OF FLATULENCE IS TO BE PUNISHED UNDER THE
UCMJ.
"HE WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT" IS CONSIDERED SUFFICIENT BASIS FOR
PROSECUTION.
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO STINK" OR "I ATE AT THE GALLEY" IS
NOT TO
BE
ACCEPTED AS AN EXCUSE FOR FAILURE TO CONTROL ONESELF.

5. COMMANDS ARE INSTRUCTED TO ENSURE KNOWN GAS PRODUCING FOODS ARE
AVOIDED
AT THE DINING FACILITIES. MEXICAN THEMED MEALS, NAVY OR BAKED BEANS,
CHILI,
CABBAGE, AND EGG SALAD ARE NO LONGER AUTHORIZED MENU ITEMS.

6. THE LIGHTING OF FLATULENCE WITH ANY TYPE OF OPEN FLAME IS STILL
PROHIBITED.//

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Gymnastic basketball
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Stone cold pussy
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Suck more
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H2O
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e050.html

almost done
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e051.html

where's Peterson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e052.html

Big Burger
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000175.html

Big Bush
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000176.html

Big Car
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000177.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear about the overload on E-bay?
Everyone is trying to unload their Michael Jackson CDs.

Why do cavemen drag their women by the hair?
If they dragged them by their feet they'd fill up.

Women claim that they never pursue a man. Well, by the same token,
a mousetrap never pursues a mouse, but the end result is the same.

One elderly male called 911 and reported, "There's a woman over here
doing some yard work in one of those thong bikinis."
"Sir," said an exasperated dispatcher, "911 is an emergency number.
What
do you expect the police to do about a woman in a thong bikini?"
"Nothing," the guy said, "But if she keeps bending over the way she
is,
I will be having a heart attack within the next 10 minutes, so I
just
wanted to alert you to sending an ambulance for me."

Why wasn't Lorena Bobbit convicted of dismembering her husband?
Because the evidence wouldn't stand up in court.

The Sooner You Fall Behind
The More Time You Have To Catch Up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calling in sick to work makes me feel very uncomfortable. No matter
how
legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.

On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the
truth
was just too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.
By
then, I could think up a crazy way to explain the bandage on my
crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes
to
adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no
problem,
but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard
my
wife, Lisa, call out to me from the kitchen. "Chuck! The garbage
disposal is dead. Please come reset it for me. "

"You know where the button is. " I protested through the shower
(pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself! "

"I am scared! " She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?"

(Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second. "

So grudgingly out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to
make a
clear statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to
find
the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. No,
it
wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It
was
our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied
between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked
me
as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was
most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I had so unwittingly offered and
snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
while
rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of
a
kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men,
in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. Fleeing
straight
up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact
knocked
me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having no
doubt
been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried
to
conduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I
kept
silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. "What's the
matter,
cat got your tongue? "

If they had only known!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesbian Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

Do you know what drag is?
It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned?
She was found face down in Ricki Lake.

What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?
Militia Etheridge.

Why are lesbians so lazy?
Because they don't do dick and they always eat out!

How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-a-likes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two widows were visiting in the lounge of the Senors' Center.
"Well," one said, "Mary has just cremated her third husband."
"Yeah, that's the way it goes," replied the other widow. "Some of us
can't find a husband, and others have husbands to burn!"

Of the 10 deadliest varieties of snake, 7 are in Australia.
The other three are in politics...

"Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow."

How do you say "69" in Chinese?
Tu-can-chu

A man was screwing his girlfriend in a park by the side of the
road when a cop car pulled up. "Just what do you think your
doing?" asked the cop.
The man looked up at the cop and replied, "I'm shagging my
girlfriend!"
"Great!" says the cop. "I'm next then!"
"Sounds good to me." says the guy. "I've never shagged a cop
before!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Medical Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A medical student just finished her last semester and was heading
out to
apply to a hospital. The director of the hospital thought the woman
was
very bright and had a lot of potential. But the doctor wanted to ask
her
a few questions just to quiz her.

"Well." said the doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few
questions
before we make anything definite, ok?" "Of course," said the
woman"Ok,
what do we call the operation of removing your tonsils?" asked the
director "That's easy," the woman said, "A Tonsillectomy."

"Very good. ok, What is the removal of your appendix called?"the
director continued. "I belive that is an Appendectomy," the woman
said
confidentilly

"Good job. One more. What do we call a sex change operation?" the
director asked. Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned
every
medical term known to man, but for some reason she could not
remember
what a sex change operation was called. She sat staring ai the wall
for
some time before the director began to get anxious.

"Do you know?" he asked repeatidly.

Regaining her composure she finally smiled and said, "of
course,Addadictomy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Order today and get the second one on us plus a Quick Grater.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

~ No Greater Love ~
http://www.lisaswisheshopeanddreams.com/NoGreaterLove.html

In Remembrance
http://www.lisaswisheshopeanddreams.com/InRemembrance.html

Memorial Day
http://www.lisaswisheshopeanddreams.com/MemorialDay2006.html

Memorial Page#8 http://www.vietvetart1.freeservers.com/image8.html

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We Remember
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Carol w/No Knight in Her Days
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley

FREE PDF to WORD CONVERTER
http://www.hellopdf.com/index.php

Recommendation Engine
http://www.tastekid.com/

Free Online Image Gallery Creator
http://www.mylivegallery.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
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Animal World

Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tRWRSfcDuQ

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Movie Clips

Lazy River Pee Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdwqw.htm

Leno Needs Body Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrf.htm

Let the Beast Go
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdsd.htm

Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adewwrr.htm

Lip Balm Commercial
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Hoppalas Turnen
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In God We Trust
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Interessant Eierschlange
http://www.buffaloschips.com/awereew.htm

You Know That Has To Hurt
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Javelin Live Fire VS T72
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdxs.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walmart Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said,
"Automotive, aisle 15."

The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"

The Greeter replied, "That's my job."

Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."

The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing supplies?

The Greeter replied, "That's my job."

A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons, aisle 5."

The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."

The Greeter said, "Damn, I missed it by an inch!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awsome Auger - Introducing the worlds's most powerful yard tool.

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planting, cutting roots, hard rock and clay, removing rocks, digging
holes and making weeding easy!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A XXXmas Story
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0re.htm

Anger Management
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Angry Residents
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9j43.htm

Good Lickin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kriw.htm

Anna Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iefj.htm

Anna's House
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5e6.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leak Ender 2000 - Fixes any leak we promise.

Leak Ender 2000 is a specially formulated liquid rubber compound
that completely fills any crack or separation as it hardens, sealing
it water tight.

View Web Version

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a young fellow called Shit
A name he disliked quite a bit;
So he changed it to Shite -
A step in the right
Direction, one has to admit.
~ Victor Gray ~
________________________________

Victoria said, "We've no quarrel
With Shakespeare, but this is immoral!
His Measure for Measure
Incurs our displeasure;
We don't do such things at Balmoral."
~ Frank Richards ~
________________________________

I'm in love with a girl from Uttoxeter,
An exquisite and passionate cock-sitter;
With her prehensile hole,
She envelopes my pole,
And then squirms up and down as my rocks hit her.
~ Gerard Benson ~
________________________________

Prince Charles in his Welsh principality
Formed a violent left-wing solidarity;
When asked why this was
He replied, "It's because
I am sick of the family mentality."
~ Bernard Levin ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fast, simple and affordable way to clean your car

Wash Wizard power washer has hundreds of soft-touch, microfiber
cleaning pads that spin inside the powerwash head, gently cleaning
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professional power wash wand that makes cleaning your car a breeze.

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View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/wash

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might be a college student if...

11. If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying
Natural Light.

12. If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over
and introduce yourself.

13. If you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.

14. If your trash is overflowing and your bank account
isn't

15. If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week

16. If you eat at the cafeteria because it's "free", even
though it tastes terrible.

17. If you are personally keeping the local pizza place
from bankruptcy

18. If you wake up 10 minutes before class

19. If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without
washing them

20. If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class

Patricia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QuickLawn - Just Sow It and Grow It

Get beautiful green grass all year round. QuickLawn works in the
toughest terrain from sandy soils to high traffic areas. It costs as
little as 1 cent per square foot.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fireman Bob rushed into a burning building and
rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only
in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He
carried her in his arms down three flights of
stairs and saved her from her sure demise.

As they arrived safely a wash of gratitude rushed
over her. She looked at him with great fondness
and admiration, then said, "Oh, you are wonderful!
It must have taken great strength and courage to
rescue me the way you did."

"Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to
fight off three other firemen who were trying to
get to you first!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banjo Minnow - As Seen on TV Fishing System Get everything you need
to catch all fresh and saltwater species in virtually any water
condition. Designed to trigger the genetic response that makes fish
instinctively attack and eat their prey. Get the most lifelike lure
ever created. Order today

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Get the most lifelike lure ever created.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1608

KSR Airlines

Katie: Tickets please!

Tami: Here you go.

Katie: May I see some Identification please?

Tami: You know good and well who I am Katie.

Katie: Regulations and the such ma'am. Sorry.

Tami gets out her passport, driver's license.

Katie: Thank you ma'am.

Rob: Do you need my passport Katie?

Katie: No, that's fine, just move right along Rob. Rudy will
assist you with your luggage.

Tami: Who will assist me with mine?

Katie: Tut tut, you can handle your own. We are short-handed here.

Later on the plane...

Rob: Tami, you have to admit this is a nicer plane than the old
Ford Tri-motor.

Tami: Hrumpt! I am still getting the old run-around.

Rob: It might help if you change your attitude.

Sandi walks by with her leather helmet on. Rudy has his overalls on

with a wrench in one paw and a bible in the other.

Katie is bringing drinks: Rob would you care for a drink?

Rob: Yes, what are my choices?

Katie: Wine, Red or White.

Rob: Red please.

Katie pours Rob a glass.

Tami: I will have a glass.

Katie: Are you over 21?

Tami: Of course.

Katie: I need to see some ID.

Tami: My ID is with the luggage.

Katie: How about some water then.

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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