Plants gone potty!: September 2012

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on
the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and
in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and
no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got
into the car and closed the door.... Only to realize there was
nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car
started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his
life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared
out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John,
paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window,
but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the
road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to
it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling
everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying... And wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the
dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of
breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....
Look Paddy....there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!'
__________________

Eight year old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her
marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's. However,
her teacher had written across the bottom:
"Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too
much in school. I have an idea I am going to try,
which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
__________________

The Teacher asked, "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?"
Mary answered, "A chicken gives eggs!"
The Teacher then asked, "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?"
And Paul answered, "A goat gives goat milk!"
And finally the Teacher asked, "Well now, who can tell me what the cow gives?"
And Little Johnny replied, "Homework and lessons!"

_______________

FUN PAGES

Throw Them Out The Window
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43065&s=n

Words Women Use
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43520&s=n

Genius
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43015&s=n

How Ice Makers Really Work
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43567&s=n

The Good Sex Guide
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43040&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Mere goodness can achieve little against the power of nature.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________

THE COMICS

I didn't jump
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w031.html

cats and dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w032.html

got one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w033.html

the bath room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w034.html

that's cold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w035.html

happy birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w036.html

the irratible cop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w037.html

hangin up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w038.html

a royal title
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w039.html

show me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w040.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Animusic HD
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2327.html

100 Riffs (A Brief History of Rock N' Roll)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2328.html

Teddy bear's last ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2329.html

C.W. McCall *Crispy Critters*
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2330.html

Alice's Restaurant- Original 1967 Recording
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2331.html

Jimi Hendrix - The Star Spangled Banner (Live at Woodstock 1969)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2332.html

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary,
"I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize,
the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been there twice!
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
_______________

Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school.
Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.
One day Sam calls Abe and says, "I bet you that mine is
longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars."
Abe replies, "How can that be? If you know anything about biology you...."
Sam interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine YES OR NO?"
Abe says, "OK, OK. I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"
Sam answers, "Eleven years!"
_________________

A deaf mute walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty
communicating with pharmacist. and he cannot see condoms on the
shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, whips
out his tool, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five-dollar bill next to it.
The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the
deaf-mute, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket.
Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist
wildly. using sign language."Look," the pharmacist says,
"if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't BET."
_______________

Two die-hard golfers, Mike and Steve, are out playing a round when
a thunderstorm comes roaring in. On the third tee, a bolt of
lighting comes down and strikes both golfers dead.
Arriving at the Pearly Gates, God comes down to talk to the two men.
"Sorry, but we made a mistake," says God. "It seems that it was not
your time to die. Now, I can send you back, but you have to go back as
someone different. It's just too confusing, since they already
had the funerals. In fact, your wives are already dating."
After the two golfers have a little talk they approach God and make
their requests. "We decided we want to go back as a couple of dykes," states Mike.
"... good looking dykes, if You please," says Steve.
"That's no problem," replies God. "But I must know why you guys want to be dykes."
"Well, see, we figure if we go back as dykes, we still get to have sex
with a woman..." says Mike. "And we run no risk of causing pregnancy."
"...plus," adds Steve, "we get to play from the ladies' tee!"
______________

FUN PAGES

Funny Short Memos
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43070&s=n

The Woman He Feels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43063&s=n

Poorly Placed Labels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43651&s=n

A Single Rose
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43028&s=n

Men Need A Clue
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43581&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

The best thing to say when you cannot think of
anything is to say nothing at all.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

____________

THE COMICS

old age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w021.html

not a good sign
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w022.html

less attention
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w023.html

bad time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w024.html

happy birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w025.html

thank you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w026.html

scared of frogs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w027.html

alcohol
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w028.html

take this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w029.html

I'm ok
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w030.html
______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Banned Lifestyle Condom Ads
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2323.html

Sexy teacher crazy about her student
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2324.html

Waiter Attacked By Customer Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2325.html

Hungry Gorilla Attack Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2326.html

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that
the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About six hours later, he goes to his wife and says, "Honey,
you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die."
She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns until he's
down to 4 more hours. "He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could…"
At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris,
enough is enough… I have to get up in the morning, you don't."
______________

And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead
men and said - "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation
around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds,
and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave,
were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For
this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge."
The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said- "You were
not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this,
you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."
The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said- "You, Sam,
have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage,
and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's
Ferrari. There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying.
"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?"
Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said, "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard."
_______________

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came
upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.
Seeing this he inquired, 'Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you
doing?' 'I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied.
'You've gotta be kiddin' me.'
'No, would you like to give it a try?'
Understandably curious, the man says, 'Well, OK...' So he wrapped his
arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the
other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry,
car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy
handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked,
'What the heck happened to you?'. He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.
When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in
sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and
said, 'This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake...'
_______________

FUN PAGES

The Only Cure For Hate
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43062&s=n

The Woman He Feels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43063&s=n

The Good Sex Guide
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43040&s=n

Offensive Jokes, Volume 1
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43506&s=n

How Rumors Get Started
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43635&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

The biggest lie: "I don't need
to write that down, I'll remember"

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

wear a rubber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w011a.html

computer date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w012.html

next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w013.html

thats it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w014.html

so much tv
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w015.html

call me back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w016.html

oat meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w017a.html

its the car
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w018.html

do not worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w019a.html

gravity sucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w020.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

simple solutions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2319.html

motocycle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2320.html

the good the bad the ugly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2321.html

an italian restaurant in Dubai
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2322.html

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get
their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one,
began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher asked Janie:
Janie, do you have a story to share?'
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was
a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to
bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey,
a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the
way down so the bottle wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle
of 20 Iraqi troops.She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she
ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade
broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What
did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
_____________

The thing about golf

"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being
good at."
-- Jimmy Demaret

"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it
in one afternoon on the golf course."
-- Babe Ruth

"Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf
and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf."
-- Jack Benny

"Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes
when you consider the course."
-- Lee Trevino
_____________

After a trial had been going on for three days, the man accused of
committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench.
"Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty'
of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why
didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time
and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The man looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I
thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence
against me!"
_____________

FUN PAGES

Occupy My Diaper
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43568&s=n

Funny Monopoly Cards
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43648&s=n

Dear Dr. Ruth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43628&s=n

Pleasing A Woman
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43511&s=n

San Francisco Math Test
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43513&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

The middle of the road is where the white line is-
and that's the worst place to drive.
Robert Frost
_____________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

Big Al's bar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w001.html

naps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w002.html

meeting with my boss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w003.html

flowered sheets
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w004.html

reading minds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w005.html

attraction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w006.html

being married
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w007.html

a butt plug
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w008.html

what do you mean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w009.html

what happened to us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w010.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Office lady shows everything
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2315.html

Pregnant Lady on A Bus - Funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2316.html

JUST FOR LAUGH - TV REPAIR
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2317.html

How to NEVER get hurt in a relationship
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2318.html

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What do blonde virgins eat?
A: Baby food.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
____________

I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.
I brought my selection a Baseball bat - to the cash register.
"Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.
"Cash," I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained,
"I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."
"Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly.
"Or are you going back there?"
_________________

A guy had a bad case of hemorrhoids, so he decided to go see
his doctor.
The doctor says, "It's not too bad, you just need to put these
suppositories up your ass. I'll give you the first dose, and you
can have your wife give you the second one this evening."
"Okay" The man replies "anything to relieve this pain"
He drops his pants, bends over and allows the doctor to do his
job.
Later that evening he tells his wife what the doctor said and
asks her help with the second dose. She tells him to bend over,
puts one hand on his shoulder and prepares to insert the
suppository.
All of the sudden the guy screams, "Oh My God!!"
"What's wrong?" asks his wife
The man replies, "I just realized - he had both his hands on my
shoulders!!"
_____________

FUN PAGES

Tan Lines By Sport
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43605&s=n

Pancake Bar
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43032&s=n

Shoot Me Up Elmo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43551&s=n

This Happiness is Unbearable
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43064&s=n

Dreamsdwell Stories
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41704&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Pretty words are not always true,
and true words are not always pretty

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

doesn't stand a chance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v091a.html

terrified of mice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v092a.html

a movie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v093a.html

bad news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v094a.html

dogs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v095a.html

awful messy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v096a.html

qidw borrow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v097a.html

sneaky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v098a.html

pissed off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v099a.html

beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v100a.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Commercial Birdie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2311.html

She Only Bitches When She Breathes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2312.html

Chaplin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2313.html

elevator ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2314.html

_______________

Observations On Growing Older

~Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your
grandchildren are Perfect!
~Going Out is good.. Coming home is better!
~You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot
they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything ....
Especially Golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do,
but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in
bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON"
and "OFF" switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ......"what?"...."when?"... ???
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to
wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ....2 of which you will never
wear.
________________

A private country golf club didn't allow women on their
golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that
they decided to allow women on the course during the week.
The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement,
formed a women's club and became very active.
After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from
the women's club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course.
Naturally, the men's board just ignored the matter.
After another 6 months, they received another letter
reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.
After due deliberation they sent the women a letter
advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!
___________

Sally and Harry have been married for 50 years and are being
interviewed by a reporter from the local newspaper.
"So Sally," asks the reporter, "I know today is your
golden wedding anniversary, how old, exactly, are you?"
"I am 78 years old," replies Sally proudly. "And I hope I live to be 100."
"Well I hope your wish comes true," says the reporter.
The reporter then turned to Harry and asked, "And how old are you, Harry?"
"I'm also 78 years old," replies Harry, "and,
please God, I should live to be 101."
"But why," asked the reporter, "would you want
to live one year longer than your wife?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," replies Harry,
"I would like to have at least one year of peace and quiet."
_______________

There are three kinds of men in this world.
Some men remain single and make wonders happen.
Some men have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest of the men decide to get married -- and wonder whatever happened!
______________

FUN PAGES

Great Sundays
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42329&s=n

Mahjong Towers Eternity
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41750&s=n

Christmas Cake Recipe
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43496&s=n

Rome: Curse of the Necklace
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41782&s=n

Strange and Funny Trees
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43360&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

The Postman's Corner

"There are no secrets to success. It is the result
of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."
Colin Powell

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________________

THE COMICS

mingle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v081a.html

your dreams
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v082a.html

smart ass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v083.html

relieved
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v084a.html

best prize ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v085a.html

a nice person
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v086a.html

make me wet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v087a.html

first date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v088a.html

get out of the sun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v089a.html

long and hard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v090a.html
________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

The road...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2307.html

officer needs assistance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2308.html

bud light
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2309.html

sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2310a.html

A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
_______________

Little action

Husband: "How about a little action tonight, honey?"
Wife: "Over my dead body!"
Husband: "How else?"
____________

Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
A: Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q: What's the worst thing you can say to a man who complains that his wife is frigid?
A: No, she isn't!"
_____________

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for
their 25th anniversary. "HA," he snorted, "The day I
buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on
your chest!" On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties,
and thrusts her pubic area forward. "There! I have hair on my chest,
now buy me a fur coat." "That's not your chest!" he roars back.
"Damn right it's my chest," she argued, "Before we got married,
this was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure
chest. Afterwards it became our family chest.
AND IF YOU DON'T BUY ME A FUR COAT, IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!"
___________

A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him
hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
_______________

FUN PAGES

Water Makes Them Bigger
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43630&s=n

Algerian Patience Solitaire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41664&s=n

A Single Rose
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43028&s=n

Life is So Slippery
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43020&s=n

The Woman He Feels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43063&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

The Postman'S Corner

The best thing to hang on to in life is each other
Audrey Hepburn

very nice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v071a.html

statistics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v072a.html

makin shit up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v073a.html

my butt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v074a.html

maximum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v075a.html

charisma
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v076a.html

missing person
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v077a.html

kitty kat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v078a.html

sexist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v079a.html

lonesome
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v080a.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

while mowing the yard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2303.html

just out of the shower,or
"no nookie tonight"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2304.html

glad he is not my kid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2305.html

lets go to mcdonalds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2306.html

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest
town he planned to visit on his Vacation.
He wrote:
I would very much like To bring my dog with me. He is well-
groomed And very well behaved. Would you be willing To
permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel Owner,
who wrote:
SIR: "I've been operating This hotel for many years. In all
that time, I've Never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes,
Silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never Had to evict a
dog in the middle of the night For being drunk and disorderly.
And I've never Had a dog run out on a hotel bill.
Yes, indeed, Your dog is welcome at my hotel.
And, if your Dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay Here, too."
______________

Words You Do Not Want To Hear During Sex* "You feel almost as good as my husband."
* "You know, your mother is so much better!"

* "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

* "Oh my God! 3.5 seconds, a new record!"

* "Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."

* "Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"

* "Oh Janet!"... and your name is Carol.

* "Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on in one minute."

* "Is it hurting? I can't even feel it."
______________

An elderly lady was walking on the golf course on the island of
Martha's Vineyard. She slipped and fell.Obama, who was behind her
by chance, helped her to get up promptly. She thanked him and he
answered, "It was a pleasure to help you. Don't you recognize me?
I am your President. Are you going to vote for me in the next election?"
The elderly woman laughed and replied, '
'You know...I fell on my ass...not on my head!"

FUN PAGES

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43490&s=n

Youda Sushi Chef
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41818&s=n

Osama's Genie
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43510&s=n

Friends Body and Soul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43066&s=n

Dumbest Guy on Earth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42331&s=n

That's All Folks!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Sometimes I worry about being
a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin

GOOD MONING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially, Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

Mark Twain says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v061a.html

life before and after
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v062a.html

favorite pie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v063a.html

I farted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v064a.html

alcohol
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v065a.html

turbulence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v066a.html

the remote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v067a.html

Thanks Marge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v068a.html

oh com on dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v069a.html

first party
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v070a.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Cheating Boss Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2199.html

New Mom Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2300.html

Kid Hold Up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2301.html

Cheater Hiding In Closet Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2302.html

LAPD Officer: " We arrested this man beating the living daylights out
of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?"
DESK Sergeant: "Impersonating an Officer."
___________

A beggar knocks at a Rabbi's door: "Would you please have a little
bit of food to give me?"
Says the Rabbi: "Oh, yes; do you like left-over soup?"
"Yes, yes," gushes the beggar.
"Fine. Come back tomorrow."
______________

A man gets off a plane in Boston and heads immediately for the men's room.
It's crowded but he finds a vacant urinal to gain relief after the long flight and after having many drinks.
The man at the urinal next to his says, "You're Jewish?"
"Yes."
"You come from Sudbury?"
"Yes."
"Your parents went to Temple Immanuel?"
"Yes," he says. "But I don't think I know you. How do you know so much about me?"
The man next to him replies, "Rabbi Minski of Temple Immanuel is the only Rabbi I know that
performs circumcisions by cutting at an angle and you're pissing on my shoe!"
____________

FUN PAGES

I Hate People
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43023&s=n

Ball Challenge
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41672&s=n

The Sanity Test
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37702&s=n

30 Years Difference
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43491&s=n

Word Zen
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41813&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___