Plants gone potty!: May 2012

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMANS CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
Socrates

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am back again for another round of chuckles and
such. Are you? Summer is a busy time but you still
gotta take time for a smile. Oh and by the way?
always make sure you make the right choice in life...

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

free appraisals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j001.html

boarding pass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j002.html

dangerous age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j003.html

dentists have money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j004.html

did I tell you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j005.html

sexual encounters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j006.html

of shocks and panties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j007.html

watchin tv
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j008.html

door to door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j009.html

life guard class
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j010.html
________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Orange Juice Attack
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1660.html

Looney Tunes Daffy for president
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1661.html

Banned in America:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1662.html

DOUBLE DUTCH DOG BLOWS YOUR MIND
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1663.html

An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the
level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush
toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says
with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air
conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's
a mistake – he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
____________

She answered the phone on the 2nd ring. The pervert on
the other end panted, "I'll bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."
The woman replied, "Yes, he's on the couch watching TV. Whom shall I say is calling?"
______________

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the
archangel, found him resting on the seventh day..
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds, "Look, Michael Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm
going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example,
northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth,
while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of
black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will
be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a
land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Pennsylvania, the most glorious place on earth. There are
beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and
plains. The people from Pennsylvania are going to be handsome, modest,
intelligent and humorous, and they are going to travel the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving,
carriers of peace and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But
what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "Not very far from Pennsylvania is Washington DC.
Wait till you see the idiots I put there."
______________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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Funzine - Adult Cartoons for June 1, 2012

I hate stupid commercials that have a doorbell sound.

Cooper starts barking and will not stop until I open the

front door and show him no one is there.

What do you hate?

“what I hate?

I have a little Chihuahua. he is a good doggie with a couple of problems.

Aside from his hatred of all sox, which he attacks without discrimination of color,

etc., he also hates the telephone. Every time it rings, he howls louder than a fire

truck, which is kind of annoying when u are trying to talk to someone on the phone.

He usually keeps it up for a good five minutes or so.”, M

****

Big thank you to the most recent donors:

Ray, Bruce, James, and Jack

Donate either by PayPal, or my home addy.

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

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For Fun and Games:

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http://www.funzines.net/adultsonly.htm

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http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

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Check this out...........I have gotten some good stuff here.

http://funzines.net/dealoftheday.htm

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Thank you,

Dyan

Funzine - Adult Cartoons for May 31, 2012

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

[PostmansCorner] Hello from THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Hello everyone!

How was the holiday weekend?
Burgers and hotdogs and sun for all, eh?
now its back to the grindstone, yes?
sorry I have not been able to do any issues
for the last few days. See, not only was it
the holiday,but I took on a new job at the
mall, providing security. So I have been keeping
pretty busy. But I promise, I'll get an issue out
to yall in a couple days or so!
Just as soon as I am finished up here!

Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!!!

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Just a quick hello to all of you as you
prepare for your holiday festivities. For
those of us who live in the good ole US of A,
it is memorial day weekend. Memorial day,
celebrated on Monday, is a day of parades,
bbq, and other great things, but most important,
it is a day we honor our veterans who have
sacrificed the ultimate in the defense of the
freedom we Americans know and have come to
love.

And it seems that the weather gurus have
done well to help us out, too. Yesterday, here in
beautiful West Michigan, the holiday started
with a wonderful 75 degrees and today is predicted
to be a balmy 85. (Altho Sunday maybe a bit tense,
as temps are predicted to top 90.) The economy
gurus say this will be a great weekend for travel,
as the dropping price of crude oil has sent a gallon of
unleaded gas down to a mere 3.60 a gallon, (Altho
to me, I do not understand why a mere 30 cents a
gallon difference should matter. If I wanna go somewhere, I'm
gonna do it and 30 centados will not matter.) The
war department and me will spend the majority of
today working in the yard, planting more tulips, a
yearly event. Monday we will probably travel a couple
hours and visit relatives. (We make a somewhat regular
attempt to maintain contact with the "outlaws".) Most folks
around here will flock to the beautiful beaches of
West Michigan, of which there are many. However,
personally, I think that to be a somewhat foolish
endeavor this time of year. Being such a huge body
of water, LK. Mich. takes a good 3 weeks of very hot weather
for the water to warm up sufficiently for good
swimming. But oh well, to each his own.

However you choose to celebrate and enjoy this beautiful
weekend, be safe, make sure to use sun block,

and be sure to remember those who
made it possible!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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[PostmansCorner] Announcement

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Did I mention I am taking an editor's break for a few days?
This is national vegetarian hunters week.
So I'll be out hunting vegetarians.

See you all later on! I'll be back when I catch my limit!

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure."
– Sven Goran Eriksson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM:
THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Mitt Romney, the defacto winner of the
Republican race for presidential nominee
this November, met with campaign advisors yesterday
to identify priorities for the campaign. First on
the list, the committee addressed fundraising.
Members decided to start
with a monumental fundraising effort. Its main thrust
is to generate revenue through the sale of t shirts
to its supporters...

Sales are expected to be brisk.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

________________

THE COMICS

no flight risk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i051.html

heinz
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i052.html

dumped boyfriend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i053.html

know your body language
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i054.html

yes dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i055.html

Harry Potter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i056.html

a push up bra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i057.html

subtle hints
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i058.html

flowers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i059.html

apology not accepted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i060.html
__________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Beautiful video that will make you cry!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1656.html

just for laughs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1657.html

Dueling Banjos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1658.html

FULL COPS UNCUT
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1659.html

Two old friends are having coffee when the
first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling
people that I'm ugly!" "Oh NO! I've just been saying
that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat?!?" "Oh NO! I
just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you
look larger than you really are." "I've also heard that you're
saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only
said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
_____________

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism
and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the one
remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world
exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks
later, the young man died in a car wreck.
True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the
spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the séance, she called out,
"John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?" A ghostly voice
answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you." Martha
tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?" "It's great.
There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time, the
grass is so green and the cows have such beautiful eyes." "What do you
do all day?" asked Martha. "Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat
some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon.
After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five.
After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m."
Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?"
"Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha." "Well, then, where are you?" "I'm a bull in Montana."
______________

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

There is nothing impossible to him who will try.
Alexander the Great

_______________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary
Rule 1?: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2?: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.
The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3?: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.
You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4?: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss
Rule 5?: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:
They called it opportunity.
Rule 6?: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,
So don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7?: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring
As they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
Cleaning your clothes and listening to you
Talk about how cool you thought you were:
So before you save the rain forest
From the parasites of your parent's generation,
Try delousing the closet in your own room..
Rule 8?: Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
But life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades
And they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9?: Life is not divided into semesters.
You don't get summers off and very few employers
Are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
*Do that on your own time.
Rule 10?: Television is NOT real life.
In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11?: Be nice to nerds.
Chances are you'll end up working for one..

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________

THE COMICS

marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i041.html

free love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i042.html

how a bill is passed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i043.html

good morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i044.html

congratulations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i045.html

a goal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i046.html

your friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i047.html

in class
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i048.html

I noticed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i049.html

information
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i050.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Swanee River Boogie Woogie - Piano Solo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1653.html

power tool
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1654.html

why men do not listen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1655.html

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway.
But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and
became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were
being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the local police station
and said, "You've got to do something about all of these
people driving so fast and killing my chickens."
"What do you want us to do?" asked the policeman.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day the policeman had the Main Road's workers
go out to erect a sign that said:
SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said,
"You've got to do something about these drivers. The `school
crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"
So, again, the policeman sends out the Main Roads workers'
and they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and
called and called every day for three weeks.
Finally, he asked the policeman, "Your signs are doing no
good at all ... can I put up my own sign?"
The policeman said, "Sure, go ahead."
He was willing to let Farmer John do just about anything
in order to get him to stop calling to complain.
The policeman got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the policeman
and he decided to give Farmer John a call. " How's the
problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did," replied Farmer John, "and not one chicken
has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy."
He hung up the phone.
The policeman was really curious and he thought to himself,
"I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign … it might
be something that WE could use to slow down drivers."
So he drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped
the moment he saw the sign.
It was spray painted on a sheet of wood....
NUDIST COLONY
Go slow and watch out for chicks!
__________

Q: What's the one question to which you can never answer yes?
A: Are you asleep?"
____________

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play
racquetball. Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing
nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women.
As he passes the first woman, she looks down at his penis.
"He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis.
"He's not my husband either," she says, also not recognizing the unit.
He passes by the third woman, who takes a good long look as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Giving opens the way for receiving.
Florence Scovel Shinn

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The attorney general announced today
that they would be changing the warning
labels on cigarette packs. The new warning
is expected to appear in early September.
it is designed to focus on parents and
warning them of the perils of second hand
smoke...

SECOND HAND SMOKE CAN BE DANGEROUS TO
YOUR CHILD'S HEALTH

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________

THE COMICS

5 deadly terms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i031.html

working late one night
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i032.html

my girlfriend says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i033.html

hillbilly ten commandments
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i034.html

lets surf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i035.html

a mix up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i036.html

painting the ceiling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i037.html

happy endings
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i038.html

Sorry Bob
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i039.html

the snowman goes to bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i039.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Best Stand Up Comedy Ever! Mitch Fatel.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1649.html

Nuns & Sexy Stripper Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1650.html

half
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1651.html

the gunfight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1652.html

One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord
my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.
_______________

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough
rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night,
the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild,
vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
_____________

One day, the doorbell rings at 221B Baker street. Dr. Watson goes to
the door, as Mrs. Hudson is away for the weekend. When he opens the
door, he sees a schoolgirl standing there. He says to her, "Yes?"
"I'm here to see Mr. Holmes, sir," she replies.
So the good doctor shows her to the great detective's study. A few
minutes later, he hears what appears to be the sounds of a great
struggle coming from the room, with panting and groaning.
Immedialtely his mind springs to the only available conclusion -
the evil Professor Moriarty, cleverly disguised as a schoolgirl, is
doing away with the great Holmes! Springing to his feet, he bounds
across the room and yanks the door open...to see Holmes, naked,
lying atop the schoolgirl, pumping away for all he's is worth.
Pulling himself up to his full height, the doctor sputters,
"I SAY! Holmes! And just what sort of a 'schoolgirl" is this," he sneers.
The great detective looks up, removes his Meersham pipe from his mouth,
and calmly replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

What is forgiven is usually well remembered.
Louis Dudek

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I decided to rewrite the serenity prayer.
I kindof like it. what do you think?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

illegals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i020.html

a new position
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i021.html

Joe's wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i022.html

a babysitter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i023.html

I'm worried
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i024.html

I'm full
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i025.html

a blind date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i026.html

those buns
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i027.html

off to the dentist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i028.html

a good one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i029.html

he asked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i030.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

self service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1645.html

get in shape
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1646.html

back flip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1647.html

saying good bye
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1648.html

Economic recession is worse than a divorce.
"Why?", I hear you ask.
Because in either a recession or a divorce, you lose half your fortune.
But in a recession, you still have your wife.*
_______________

I'm a retired schoolteacher. My favorite classroom story
concerns a young third-grade girl who came to school one morning
all excited. She explained that things were really going to be
different at their house now, because her grandfather had come
to live with them. Then she added, "And he's sterile, you know!"
The teacher thought for a moment, then replied, "You mean 'senile,' don't you?"
The child replied, "Yeah... that, too."
________________

While my friend, Emily, was visiting her mother, they went
for a walk and bumped into an old family acquaintance. "Is this
your daughter?" the woman asked. "Oh I remember her when she was
this high. How old is she now?"Without pausing, Emily's mother
answered, "Twenty-four." Emily, 35, nearly fainted on the spot!
After everyone had said their good-byes, Emily asked her mom why
she'd told such a whopper."Well," she replied, "I've been lying
about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me I'd have to start lying about yours, also!"
______________

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got
me to stop drinking, smoking, and running around, enjoy the fine arts,
appreciate gourmet cooking and classical music, and even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
_________________

O'Neil was walking home from the pub one night when lo and behold
he sees one of the Little Folk. He sneaks up and catches him in is
stare and demands three wishes for the little mans freedom.
"Granted" says the man in green, "but whatever I do for you, O'Reily will get twofold!"
Now O'Reily is no friend of O'Neil, in fact they hate each other, but O'Neil agrees.
"For my first wish I'd like a mansion full of expensive antiques and beautiful women."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two!"
"For my second wish I'd like a beautiful, sexy, redheaded nymphomaniac."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two women."
Now by this stage O'Neil is pissed off, the hated O'Reily getting two mansions
and two nymphomaniacs. Suddenly inspiration hits him. "For my third wish,
I want you to remove one of my testicles!"

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

I am not an Athenian or a Greek,
but a citizen of the world.
Diogenes

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________________

THE COMICS

hold that thot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz001.html

warm and comfortable
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz002.html

the condom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz003.html

its big
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz004.html

laughing so hard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz005.html

reading newspapers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz006.html

honor roll student
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz007.html

she earned it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz008.html

happens all the time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz009.html

a good time to tell you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/zz010.html
___________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Kan Bankasi (Blood Bank) Türkçe altyazili - Monty Python's Flying Circus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1642.html

Red Wine is the Fountain of Youth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1643.html

MUST WATCH Passenger Plane Crash Caught On Tape 2009
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1644.html

The trustees of the Madrid Zoo read that there were
only thirty-four whooping cranes left in the United States
and determined that they must have one before the breed became extinct.
Never mind what Spanish wiles they had to exercise to fulfill their ambition;
suffice it to say that a whooping crane was dispatched via air freight in
due course and consigned to the Madrid Zoo.
Alas, when the fool bird arrived at the Madrid Airport, he flatly refused to debark,
and the brokenhearted trustees had to return empty-
handed to their zoo.
The moral of this story is that... cranes in Spain stick mainly to the plane.
____________

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by
his mom's bedroom. He saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need
a man! I need a man!" Over the next couple months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, Johnny came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his
bed, started stroking himself and moaning, "Oh! I need a bike! I need a bike!"
____________________

Q: How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?
A: You call them up and tell them you can't come.

Q: What's the name of the new Catholic sperm bank?
A: "Kingdom Come."
__________

neptocracy (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least
capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and
where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or
succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated
wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If evolution really works,
how come mothers only have two hands?
~Milton Berle

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! to all moms!

When me prayers were poorly said
who tucked me in me widdle bed
and spanked me till me ass was red,
Me Mudder!

Who took me from me cozy cot
and put me on the ice cold pot
and made me pee when I could not,
Me Mudder!

And when the morning light would come
and in me crib me dribbled some
who wiped me tiny widdle bum,
Me Mudder!

Who would me hair so neatly part
and hug me gently to her heart
who sometimes squeezed me till me fart,
Me Mudder!

Who looked at me with eyebrows knit
and nearly have a king size fit
when in me Sunday pants me shit,

Me Mudder!
When at night her bed did squeak
me raised me head to have a peek
who yelled at me to go to sleep,
Me Fadder!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

baby's to do list
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h061.html

for the last time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h062.html

http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h063.html

an easy bet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h064.html

word of the day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h065.html

fishing and golfing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h066.html

wear a rubber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h067.html

follow your dreams
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h068.html

Larry Flint
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h069.html

money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h070.html

your co star
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h063.html
__________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

whiskas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1635.html

lets make things better
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1636.html

fast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1637.html

Larry the cable guy...
Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints,
I have noticed a large number of people, implying with bad jokes
and anecdotes, that Loozianna Cajuns ain't smart. I would like to
state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody
who would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane
zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a damn genius
________________

A Blond Bombshell buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but
at night the car just won't move at all.
She tries driving the car at night for a week but
still no luck.She then furiously calls the
BMW dealers and they send out a technician to her.
The technician asks "Miss, are you sure you are
using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she replies "You fool, idiot man, how you
could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!
I use 'D' for the Day, and 'N' for the Night..."
_________________

St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said
"Wait here. I will be right back."
St. Peter goes over to God's office and chambers and
tells him who is waiting for entrance...
God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you,
you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven.
All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh.
He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."
"Who, the black guys?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates!"
_____________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

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