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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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(made in the USA)
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Movie producers announced from Hollywood that they plan to bring back the
tv hit show, Lassie. They plan a full featured movie to kick off the series and
intend to release it early this fall. "THE NEW LASSIE" also stars Michael Vick...
There's a lot of noise in the media right now about Mr Vick and his dog racing
scandal. I find it pretty silly of him when he bankrolls this whole operation, and then
lo and behold, he stands up in front of the cameras and says,
"I never profited directly from this enterprise." BULLCRAP!!!
That statement just made him look so stupid! I'm supposed to believe he invested
his own money in property. hires 3 chumps as trainers, and never wanted to take a dime
from the operation? Seems to me he woulda made a little more credible statement if he
had simply stood up, confessed, "Yeah, I'm wrong, I did it." Ahh well, I guess honesty
and integrity is not a quality we look for these days in our sports stars celebrities and
politicians. But you know what makes me wonder? how much of this viciousness with
animals must be happening in America without our knowledge?
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Just my two cents worth!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
why u need it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies330.html
highway protection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies331.html
excersize
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies332.html
a serious question.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies333.html
THE COMICS
oops!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a051.html
ouch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a052.html
guilty as sin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a053.html
obsession
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a054.html
doggie kisses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a055.html
sorry sir
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a056.html
the vote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a057.html
hooters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a058.html
sex maniac
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a059.html
the doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a060.html
Helicopter Lessons
A blonde received a certificate
for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she
was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.
When she arrived at the place, the instructor said, "Well, there's
only one helicopter here and it only has one seat. If I show you
how to do it, do you mind going up solo?"
"Oh of course not! I can handle it," the blonde replied.
Well, he showed her the inner workings of the helicopter and
sent her on her way, only asking that she radio in every 400 feet
just to make sure everything was going smoothly.
At 400 feet, she radioed in saying, "Wow! This is so much fun!"
At 800 feet, she radioed in again saying, "This is pretty easy,
I can do this all day!"
At 1,200 feet, she didn't radio in. He waited and waited, and
didn't hear from the blonde. Seconds later, he heard a crash in
the field next to the station. He ran out to see what
happened -- the blonde crashed!
Luckily she survived. "What happened?" the instructor exclaimed.
"Well, I was doing fine, but I started to get cold so I just
turned off the big fan!"
______________________
As parents, the major part of our duty is to prepare our children for successful adulthood.
That is not easy. One does not know at what stage of a child's life they begin to process information
that will adhere to their psyche and become part of the foundation that their personalities will be built on.
I decided that you can never begin to guide too early.
To be sure, we teach at very early ages that hot water burns and knives cut flesh.
So I was sitting with my eight-year-old daughter, listening to her chatter on and on at about
100 miles per hour, when I decided it was a perfect time for a life lesson.
"Listen, honey," I said reaching down to hold both her little hands in mine.
"You're boring the ever-loving fuck outta me with all this talk.
How do you ever expect to keep a husband if you talk so damned much?"
________________
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations
____________________
At a bar, a drunk says to a girl, "Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink."
"Why?"
"You're so fucking ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you."
_____________
The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as
well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married.
As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said,
"In the past three weeks you've bought enough birth control pills
to last a year and you don't even have a boyfriend.
Whom are you trying to seduce?"
She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."
______________
Upon her engagement the exuberant young woman went to her
mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
BUFFALO's
Movies
That's Small
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/051404.htm
Refreshing
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/051405.htm
A Woman's Worse Nightmare
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/051407.htm
LAB LAUGHS
Sliding Into Second
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20070822
How Far will We go?
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20070823
Fuuuuuck
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20070824
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Marti aka the postman!
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