THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Think wrongly, if you please,
but in all cases
think for yourself.
Doris Lessing
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I almost forgot how good they tasted.
Bush' baked beans, you know? I been buying
the knock off cheap imitation beans for so long
I forget the real thing. I went up to the local
grocery store for no particular reason the other
day than to support my local store. Its been in the
neighborhood since 1948, and I believe in supporting
my local merchants wherever possible, altho they do
tend to be a little pricey on things. But still, its
a smart thing to do. Anyways, one thing they do is they
sell a lot of "bent" and "dent" types of products, and
one day I was in there and they had Bush's baked beans,
dented and discounted, so I bought a case. Who cares
if the can has a dent. it still tastes good. The "real"
baked beans are heavenly. Instead of those cheap brands
that places like Aldi and Sav-a-lot have. I been buying the
cheap off brands for so long I almost forgot how good
they tasted. Those were worth the trip. One other thing,
the store is one of those few grocers who still has a
butcher on site. Imagine that! I had ordered some sausage
ground up. You can order different kinds and such.
Yep, kinda expensive. but you know what? it was worth
every dime. You can also get such things that only farm
folks like me would remember. If you are a baby boomer,
you might remember mom making you a sandwich for your lunch
out of beef heart. Or how many of you remember eating
tounge? You can get all those good things at the local
grocer. AND, There is nothing better than some good
baked beans with sausage. Support your local merchant.
its a good thing to do.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
dating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c040.html
woops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c041.html
don't yawn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c042.html
irritated
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c043.html
back up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c044.html
its your fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c045.html
she passed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c046.html
material
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c047.html
bad girl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c048.html
worst case
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c049.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Birth of the blues
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8491.html
People liked him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8492.html
the problem of aduldt content
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8493.html
flying fish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8494.html
soccer juggler
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8495.html
Two men who haven't seen each other for many years
meet on the street.One asks the other how things have
been. "Wonderful, for a while," the other says. "I
had it all: money, a magnificent house, a fast car,
the love of a beautiful woman. Then, one day, poof!
It was all gone." "What a shame," the friend says.
"What on Earth happened?"
Says the other man: "My wife found out."
_______________
The greatest lovers from England, America, and France
were in a contest to determine who was the world's
greatest lover.First question was to the Englishman:
"If you are on a first date with a woman and you want
to kiss her, where do you kiss her?"Englishman:
"On her lips."
Judge: "That's right."
Second question was to the American:
"If you are on a second date with a woman and you want
to kiss her, where do you kiss her?"
American: "On her breasts."
Judge: "That's right."
Third question was to the Frenchman: "If you are on
the third date with a woman and you want to kiss her,
where do you kiss her?"
Frenchman: "Don't ask me, I missed the first two questions."
_____________
Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for
a fire truck. Please, I really really want a
fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while
you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have
more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still
having with the babysitter? He's banging her like
a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you
some nice Legos instead.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and
I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the reindeer
fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a
bottle of Jaegermeister and a couple of Cohibas!
-Santa
_________________
While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin
Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up.
Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and
with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one
wish?"Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy
daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't
need any common woman giving me anything." The shocked
genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will
be returned to that bottle forever." Osama thought a
moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the
woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with
three American women in my bed in the morning. So
just do it and be off with you. "The annoyed genie
said, "So be it!" and disappeared. The next morning
Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya
Harding, and Nancy Pelosi at his side. His dick was gone,
his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
God is good.
________________
Tiger Woods jokes
1) It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted
Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
2) Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive
cars. Now he has a hole in one.
3) What's the difference between a car and a golf
ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
4) Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash,
but he's still not up to par.
5) What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at
2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing
6) Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.
He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron
____________
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it?
Chet: Anna said she met U2 at a concert, but Anna lies.
Two neighbors were having a chat across the backyard fence.
"My son is learning to play football this year," said one mother.
"What position does he play?" asked the other.
"The coach said he's a 'drawback.'"
What's the best thing to give a seasick elephant?
Plenty of room.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm invisible?
Who said that?
What's sweet and sour and dangerous?
Take-out kung food.
_______________
A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought
the advice of a marriage counselor. The counselor
pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but
they were adamant. "So," said the counselor, "you
know the consequences and you want to part. Remember
this. You must divide your property equally."
The wife flared up. "You mean the $4,000 I have saved
up? I must give him half? My money?"
"Yes," said the counselor. "He gets $2,000. You get $2,000."
"What about my furniture? I paid for that."
"Same thing," answered the counselor. "Your husband
gets the bedroom and the living room; you get the
dining room and the kitchen." There was a challenging
gleam in the wife's eye. "What about our three children?"
That stumped him. Shrewdly he assayed the situation,
then he came up with a Solomonic answer. "Go back and
live together until your fourth child is born. Then
you take two children and your husband takes two."
The wife shook her head. "No, I'm sure that wouldn't
work out. If I had depended that numb-nuts, I wouldn't
have had the three children I got."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
bunnies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jgjdfjkdlka.htm
bunnies censors
http://www.buffaloschips.com/,gkjgkdlfgfd.htm
bunny sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdkfghjsdf.htm
___________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Robokill Shooting Game
http://tinyurl.com/ch4p79
Warlords Heroes
http://tinyurl.com/b7os84
Governor of Poker
http://tinyurl.com/aubzcy
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Drunk Waking Up
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000494.html
Dry Retreiver
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000495.html
Dryden Flight Research Centre #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000496.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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