Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Party on
dudes and Ms. Nutt was the first telephone operator.
1 Emma M. Nutt Day
2 National Beheading Day
3 Skyscraper Day
4 Newspaper Carrier Day
5 Cheese Pizza Day
6 Fight Procrastination Day
6 Read a Book Day
7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day
8 Pardon Day
9 Teddy Bear Day
10 Sewing Machine Day
10 Swap Ideas Day
11 Make Your Bed Day
11 No News is Good News Day
12 Chocolate Milk Shake Day
13 Defy Superstition Day
13 Fortune Cookie Day
13 National Peanut Day
14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day
15 Make a Hat Day
15 Felt Hat Day
16 Collect Rocks Day
16 Step Family Day
16 National Play Doh Day
17 National Apple Dumpling Day
18 National Cheeseburger Day
19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day
19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day
19 POW/MIA Recognition Day
20 National Punch Day
21 Miniature Golf Day
21 World Gratitude Day
22 Business Women's Day
22 Elephant Appreciation Day
23 Checkers Day
23 Dog in Politics Day
24 National Cherries Jubilee Day
25 National Comic Book Day
26 Johnny Appleseed Day
27 Crush a Can Day
27 International Rabbit Day
28 Ask a Stupid Question Day
29 Confucius Day
30 National Mud Pack Day
Enjoy the Chips .. buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Court Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
____________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
animals
http://www.thepostm
cheating husband
http://www.thepostm
don't like me
http://www.thepostm
Coloured
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Columbian Street Party
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Columbias Main Export To Usa
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Chief noticed a new Seaman one day and barked at him to "get
your
ass over here".
"What's your name sailor?" was the first thing the Chief asked the
new guy.
"John", the new guy replied.
The Chief scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart,
liberal, pansy-ass stuff they're teaching Sailors in boot camp
today,
but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity
and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my Sailors by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker-
that's all. I am to be referred to only as Chief. Do I make myself
perfectly clear sailor?"
"Aye, aye, Chief!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling Chief. My name is John
Darling,
Chief!"
"Okay......John, here's what I want you to do..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Record Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was at a music store and checking out the records, (I'm really
into vinyl) and find nothing that interests me, so I say, "Have a
nice day"
and as I was walking out of a music store I tucked in my shirt. The
guy at the door stops me and says "All right, Bubba, I know you have
got a record in your pants." I pull away from him and say "I don't.
I have nothing of yours buddy!" He refuses to let me go and pulls me
into the back room where his boss, the owner or the store, who was
this tall sexy redhead, was. She takes hold of me and the door man
walks back to his position. She interrogates me, and I hold my
ground.
She said if I don't produce a record, she will call the cops. Right
about then I got so frustrated that I pull down my pants and show
her what I got. She starts giving me a blow job telling me how
sorry she was for falsely accusing me, and she insists on walking me
out of the store. As we passed the door man he shouts "Was there a
record? Did he have the record? "The owner said " No, but he
missed it by only a half inch."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two ladies were discussing a news article concerning gasoline
fumes causing impotence in the male. "Aren't you worried about your
husband's new job at the gas station? Those fumes could cause him to
lose the lead in his pencil." "Doesn't matter." giggled the other
lady. "He doesn't do all my writing anyway."
Tom in deep thoughts is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong with
you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I'm your best friend. You can talk
to
me." "My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant." "That's
not
possible." "No, he did." "How?" "He punctured my condoms!"
"That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned
Rich
to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the wrong
word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but can't
feel." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!"
What's the definition of an 11?
A 10 that swallows!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
News Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authentic Amusing Headlines
Infertility unlikely to be passed on --- Montgomery Advertiser
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link --- Cornell Daily Sun
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut --- The
New York Times
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find --- The Los Angeles
Times
Light' meals are lower in fat, calories -- Huntington
Herald-Dispatch
Alcohol ads promote drinking -- The Hartford Courant
Malls try to attract shoppers-- The Baltimore Sun
Official: Only rain will cure drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost,
Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men --- The Sunday
Oregonian
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty --- Newsday
Man shoots neighbor with machete -- The Miami Herald
Economist uses theory to explain economy --- Collinsville
Herald-Journal
Bible church's focus is the Bible --- Saint Augustine Record,
Florida
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear --- Journal of
Commerce
Lack of brains hinders research --- The Columbus Dispatch
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lonely Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my husband. I really do. He's traveling and I'm home all
alone and this weather sucks and I want company. So, I'd like to
propose the
following:
I'm looking for a surrogate husband, just for today. I will cook a
great meal for you and greet you at the door wearing nothing but
lingerie.
You must agree to:
-- come home by 7:00pm, but not actually show up until 8:00pm.
Please don't apologize for being late and don't call to let me know
you are going to be late.
-- walk in the door without actually greeting me.
-- the first words out of your mouth, after you get out of the
bathroom, should be: "What's for dinner?"
-- take your plate from the table and walk into the living room and
sit down in front of the TV, leaving me alone.
-- put your feet up on the coffee table, chew with your mouth open
and ask me to grab you a beer.
-- not compliment me on the fact that the house is clean or that the
food that took me several hours to cook is any good.
-- ignore me for the rest of the night and watch ESPN instead.
-- tell me to stop when I try to cuddle up to you on the couch and
ask me to get you a beer instead.
-- come to bed without showering, even though you've been at work
all day.
-- fart in bed and then fluff the covers.
-- wake me up to ask me for a blow job.
Please, please, please help me out! I miss the asshole.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Am
http://silverandgol
Stay The Knight
http://www.poetryin
Rick w/ A Heavenly Home (Inspirational, Spiritual)
http://www.wtv-
Here's to the Heroes Via Patricia
http://www.youtube.
Blink Of An Eye
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
120 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power
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Car Runs on Air Via Patricia
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Worldometers - real time world statistics
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President Without A Country By Pat Boone
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Sound Effects
http://www.mediacol
Free Movie Editing Software for Mac
http://tinyurl.
Like YouTube for Video Games
http://www.wegame.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
I Like Boobs
http://www.buffalos
Idiot
http://www.buffalos
IKEA Ford
http://www.buffalos
Komiek
http://www.buffalos
Kosovo Music Video
http://www.buffalos
The Making Of An Insurgent
http://www.buffalos
The Egg, Lemon, And Orange
http://www.buffalos
The Genie And The Blonde
http://www.buffalos
The Proper Way To Listen To Classical Music
http://www.buffalos
They Were Expendable
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elephant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the height of ambition?
A: An ant climbing an elephant's leg with the intention of rape.
Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"
Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?
Q: Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?
A: So they can jump up in trees and rape monkeys.
Q: What sound do monkeys hate most?
A:
Booooiiiiiinnnngggg
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back
seat of your car?
A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What is more difficult than getting 2 elephants in the back seat
of your car?
A: Getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of your car!
Q: Whats more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in the back
seat of your car?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in the back seat of your car!
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
breast feeding
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breast ex
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breast feeding 2
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breast implants
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breast reduction
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the kitchen he wanted to boff her.
Satisfaction he tried to proffer.
She replied, "I am sold,
But the floor is too cold."
So he made her a counter-offer.
____________
I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,
Double-jointed she was I suppose.
And I watched fascinated,
As Rose masturbated;
Herself with the tip of her nose.
____________
There's a fire at a circus. A man
Sees the flames and devises a plan.
The heat is in tents,
The pressure immense.
He is doing asbestos he can.
(Kirk Miller)
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When
the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to
have sex.
Not amused, she slammed the door.
Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question.
Again,
she slammed the door and screamed, "Get the hell away!"
Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay
home the following day just in case.
Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid
with
his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again
if
she knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"
The man replied, "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you
see him, and tell him to keep the hell away from my wife!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A king's jester one day found his majesty bent over the washbowl,
engaged in his morning ablutions. In a spirit of fun the jester gave
the king a resounding slap on the most exposed part of his sacred
person. Deeply enraged, his majesty ordered the instant execution of
the audacious joker, but finally consented to pardon him, if he
should
make an apology more outrageous than the original insult. The
condemned humorist thought a moment, and offered his apology: Your
Majesty will forgive me; I did not know it was you. I thought it was
the Queen.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you want to always be on your game mentally, stay focused and
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- Enhanced neurotransmitter levels
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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