[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Tues



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Up here the weather is staying at the freezing mark just long
enough for the off street parking restrictions to come off
tomorrow night. Once I can park back on the street again
the yard can thaw out because I won't have to drive on it.
The little bit of extra cold we have seen this winter has
been useful in that respect. It is unbelievable to see a complete
Spring thaw this far North this early in the year. Back during
my High School days it didn't thaw till the end of May and I
missed Baccalaureate services in June because of flooding
on our road.

I talked to Nancy last night late and she was pretty discouraged
with the problems we are having with the server on buffaloschips.
The movies have been loading slowly for about the past four days
at about the speed of dial-up. Nancy had spent the past twelve hours
trying everything in her bag of tricks to speed things up with only
marginal luck. We have eliminated everything except going to
Louisiana and beating the heck out of the server. We are both hoping
that the annual cleaning of the internet may be what is required
to speed things back up. In case you haven't heard about it,

*** Attention ***
It's that time again! As many of you know, each year the Internet
must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The
cleaning process, which eliminates dead email and inactive ftp, www
and gopher sites, allows for a better-working and faster Internet.
This year, the cleaning process will take place from 23:59 pm (GMT)
on March 31st until 00:01 am (GMT) on April 2nd. During that 24-hour
period, five powerful Internet-crawling robots situated around the
world will search the Internet and delete any data that they find.
In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you
do the following:
1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their
Internet connections.
2. Shut down all Internet servers, or disconnect them from the
Internet.
3. Disconnect all disks and hard drives from any connections to the
Internet.
4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the Internet in any way.
We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet
users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any
inconveniences will be more than made up for by the increased speed
and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of
electronic flotsam and jetsam.
We thank you for your cooperation.
Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff
Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Sysops and others: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of
Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting
the public of the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message
where your users will be able to read it.
Please pass this message on to other sysops and Internet users as
well.

OK so that was a big load of April Fool's buffalo chips but we are
going
to continue running at least the clean movies from buffaloschips
till things
get back to normal, because after all slow is better than nothing.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Broken Spokes the Inspirational Story of our own Arlene O'Neil
is on sale at Amazon.com today. It is a great time to grab this
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strong person, who has survived more than any average person
could ever cope with, and come out on top. I recommend this
very highly.

Broken Spokes
http://buffaloschips.com/brokenspokes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Foot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That 70s Show:
The Red Forman Method of Dealing With Things

Eric: "Possesion is 9 tenths of the law."
Red: "How would you like my foot to be 9 tenths the way up your
ass?"

Eric: "I don't know, I think the ignition is broken."
Red: "How about I ignite my foot up your ass?"

Kelso: "Can I light this rocket in your house?"
Red: "Sure, then I can light my foot in your ass."

Eric (role playing): "If I could be any animal, I would be an
octopus, so I can put my foot in eight different asses."

Kitty: "If you wanted to be in somebody's shoes, whose would it be?"
Donna: "Well, I wouldn't be in Red's shoes, because I would go up
somebody's ass just about now."

(these are all Red)

"I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass your nose will bleed."

"How about I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"

"You should read this book my foot wrote... it's called 'On The Road
To In Your Ass'!"

"You morons just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's
looking for a room."

"I wish I had 2000 feet, so I can stick 500 of them in each of your
asses."

"My foot is about to drill a hole in your ass."

"You're lucky this table is between my foot and your ass!"

"You know what's hot? My foot when it's in your ass."

"I have a prank, too, one where my foot doesn't go in your ass...
Let's hope it doesn't go terribly wrong."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Fruits
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010HumanFoodx014.jpg

New Age Yoga
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010New-Age-yoga.jpg

Tweaked off
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Pissed.jpg

Multi Tasking
http://buffalosjokes.com/11218.htm

Rodeo
http://buffalosjokes.com/11216.htm

Thats Him
http://buffalosjokes.com/11217.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a third grader named Little Johnny. Every time the
teacher would say something, Little Johnny would say, "How about
that!"

One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the
Delaware."

Little Johnny said, "How about that!"

The teacher told Little Johnny, "If you say that one more time, you
are
going out into the hall, mister!"

To that, Little Johnny replied, "Well, how about that!"

Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Little Johnny into the
hall
and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell
the class."

Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Little Johnny and
said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."

Little Johnny said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up
the wall. How about that!"

The teacher said, "That's fine, Little Johnny, but I want you to
leave
the cock out."

She took him back into the classroom and announced that Little
Johnny
had a poem for the class.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a
roach go up the wall with his cock out. How about that!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Card Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jill had been sick for quite a while with a sore throat and a cough.
Her doctor had told her that she could infect John, so there was to
be NO intimate contact between them until she was well. That was why
they had played cards every night for a couple of weeks. When she
finally got a clean bill of health from her doctor, Jill was
delighted.
That evening at home, she was in the bathroom when she heard John
call, "Should I get the cards, Jill?"

"Yeah!" shouted Jill. "I'll be right out."

In a few minutes, John shouted, "I can't find the cards, Jill."

"That's okay, John," said Jill, as she walked out of the bathroom in
a bikini made from playing cards. "Wanna shuffle, John?" she asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obscene Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether
the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.
The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to
the club and see the allegedly obscene act.

The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part
where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic
scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide
definitely whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked
to see the act one more time. They watched it carefully again. But
they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the
understudies to perform the same act one more time.

Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very
understanding.
According to the Detective: "It is a difficult matter. The police
have watched the show 75 times."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny goes into a house of ill repute and asks for a girl
with gonorrhea.

The madam nodded and sent him upstairs to a room. Then she called
one
of her favorites for him. The girl came into the room and started to
undress, when he asked, "Do you have gonorrhea?"

"Gonorrhea? I should say not," she replied.

Little Johnny sent her back. The madam sent for another girl and
said, "Honey, go upstairs and tell that fool you have the clap.
Let's
do what we can to make him happy."

The girl agreed, went upstairs and when Little Johnny asked, "Do you
have gonorrhea?" she smiled and said, "Of course I do."

"Ok," he said, "Let's do it."

After it was over and they were laying side by side the girl said,
"Listen Johnny, I don't really have gonorrhea"

Little Johnny smiled and said, "Well, you do now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vibrator Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was this couple that had been married for
20 years. Every time they made love the husband
always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
ridiculous. She figured she would break him out
of this crazy habit. So one night, while they
were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic
session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. And saw her husband was holding
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Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent
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explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and
says calmly: "I'll explain the toy; you explain
the kids."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/ A River Runs Through It
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp2/ARiverRuns.html

John w/ How Great Thou Art
http://heavens-gates.com/howgreatthouart/

Lure Of Pornography Part 1
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/lureofpornography1.html

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

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http://simplysally.com/

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Movie Clips

leno police
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Love that chair_
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love hurts
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maninline1
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Monthly Man
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Use Download Instead of player

leno photo booth
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Lucky Tree
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rounds
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marry me
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121127.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robbery Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman walked into a liquor store with
two guns, pointed them at the shop-keeper and
said "Give me six bottles of scotch whiskey, all
the money in the till, and then I want you to
take me into your storeroom and make love to me."

The shopkeeper got her the six bottles of scotch,
emptied the money from the till into the old
woman's handbag, and then went with her into the
storeroom, they took off all their clothes, and
made love.

In the excitement the old lady dropped the guns
on the floor. The shop-keeper paused a moment,
then said, "Madam, could you please pick up your
guns again, I'm expecting my wife to arrive any
minute."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let Me Explain..
http://buffalosjokes.com/11223.htm

New Keyboard
http://buffalosjokes.com/new_page_1.htm

Honeymoon
http://buffalosjokes.com/11222.htm

Addidas Sign
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000016.html

Adios Asshole
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000017.html

Adios New Orleans
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Humpty Dumpty stood on the street corner

Touting for business with little Jack Horner

Along came Miss Muffet with only a dime

"What can I get if I tell you a rhyme?"

Little Jack Horner said, "Sorry Miss Muffet

We do not do ladies, we're not keen on tuffet.

But if you can find us poor Little Bo-Peep,

We can all have a foursome including her sheep."

I chase all the girls when I'm spunky--

A five-day-a-week sexual junky.

I tend not to stray

On Tues- or Wednesday--

On those nights I spank my own monkey.

Karl K.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshi Blade - Razor Sharp Ceramic Knife

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Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.

As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gun Control
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East
Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence,
he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding
the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my
hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced
the quiet and said: "Well, dumbass, stop clapping!"

Linus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to
purchase furs.

The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna,
and
before long the two were alone in his hotel room.

The encounter turned physical and soon their lovemaking session was
complete.

After they were finished, then the man attempted to chat with Sanna
-- but it wasn't going well.

He said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good."

Sanna replied, "Your foreplay ain't all that hot either!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lose 10 lbs in 2 Weeks Guaranteed

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn

Vol 1557

Wine and Dine

Tami: Forget the desert, I will order a glass of wine. I really
need it.

Waiter: Good idea. Red or white wine?

Tami: Red.

Waiter: Dry or sweet?

Tami: Sweet.

Waiter: Domestic or imported?

Tami: Ack!!! Just bring me a glass in a hurry I am shaking.

Waiter: Do we have a drinking problem?

Tami notices her psychologist is really taking notes...

Tami: No, we do not.

Waiter: Why do you use the word 'we' when there is only one of you?

Tami: Just bring me a glass of wine and hurry. In fact, bring the
whole

bottle.

Waiter: Very well ma'am.

Later..

Tami: Waiter.can I hab the bill pleash?

Waiter: Your bill ma'am.

Tami: What? I wash supposed to hab fifty percent off?

Waiter: Read the small print on the coupon, fifty percent off for
Rob.

Tami: Even which my grilled cheebe sandwhicb freeb, the billb is 95
dillirs.

Waiter: Yes ma'am. Will that be cash, or credit card?

Tami: Credit Card.

Waiter: Discover, Visa, or Master Card?

Tami: Here take this one and just get me out of here.

Waiter: This is a Texaco Credit Card ma'am.

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Mon



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I really enjoy a good Navy Story and it's been awhile since we had
one. This was sent by Abel M. Quinones to a Navy group I belong to.

A U.S. Naval history story provided by the Naval Order of the United
States.

On April 5th, 1943, the U.S. Navy's Destroyer Squadron 21 was
returning from a night of shelling Japanese shore installations deep
in the New Georgia area of the Solomon Islands. Our destroyer, the
USS O'Bannon, as part of this force, picked up a radar contact that
turned out to be a large Japanese submarine cruising on the surface
and apparently unaware of our presence. The Japanese lookouts
undoubtedly were fast asleep.

We approached rapidly and were preparing to ram the sub. Our
captain and other officers on the bridge were trying to identify the
type of sub and decided, at the last minute, that it could be a mine
layer. Not wanting to blow up ourselves along with the sub, the
decision was made that ramming was not a wise move. At the last
moment, the rudder was swung hard to avoid a collision and we found
ourselves in a rather embarrassing situation as we sailed along side
of the Japanese submarine.

On board the sub, Japanese sailors, wearing dark shorts and dinky
blue hats, were sleeping out on deck. In what could be considered a
rude awaking, they sat up to see an American destroyer sailing along
side. Our ship however, was far too close to permit our guns
lowered enough to fire and since no one on deck carried a gun, not
a shot was heard. Ditto on the Japanese sub, no one there had a gun
either. In this situation, no one seemed sure of the proper course
of action and it probably would not have been covered in the manual
anyway. Therefore everyone just stared more or less spellbound.

The submarine was equipped with a 3 inch deck gun and the sub's
captain finally decided that now was probably a good time to make
use of it. As the Japanese sailors ran toward their gun, our deck
parties reached into storage bins that were located nearby, picked
out some potatoes and threw them at the sailors on the deck of the
sub. A potato battle ensued. Apparently the Japanese sailors
thought the potatoes were hand grenades. This kept them very busy
as they try to get rid of them by throwing them back at the O'Bannon
or over the side of the sub. Thus occupied, they were too busy to
man their deck gun which gave us sufficient time to put a little
distance between our ship and the sub.

Finally we were far enough away to bring our guns to bear and firing
commenced. One of our shells managed to hit the sub's conning tower
but the sub managed to submerge anyway. At that time our ship was
able to pass directly over the sub for a depth charge attack. Later
information showed that the sub did sink. When the Association of
Potato Growers of Maine heard of this strange episode, they sent a
plaque to commemorate the event. The plaque was mounted in an
appropriate place near the crews mess hall for the crew to see.
Well, it was the crew's battle.

The story was picked up by the papers back in the States and,
shortly thereafter, a full blown account of the event was covered by
a story in the READERS DIGEST. Conversations with a crew member
that served years later revealed that, while the plaque was still
located in the crew's mess hall, no one seemed to pay much attention
to it nor knew much about it. I guess the crew was interested in
making history but not particularly interested studying it.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the psychiatrist began using
sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?" "A
phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus." "What's
a
phallus?" asked Rose. "Well," said the analyst, "The best way to
explain it is to show you." He stood up, unzipped his fly and took
out his pecker. "This is a phallus." "Oh, I get it," said Rose.
"It's
the word for a very small penis.

A teacher in West Virginia asked her students to use the word
"fascinate" in a sentence. Molly said, "My family went to my
granddaddy's farm, and we saw all his pet sheep. It was
fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to See
Rock City and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was
good, Sally, but I want the word "fascinate". Little Johnny raised
his hand. The teacher hesitated because Little Johnny was noted for
his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could
damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My
cousin's wife has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so
big, she can only fascinate." The teacher cried.

The young novice nun soon realized that the absence of sex in the
convent was a problem. She confessed to Mother Superior that it was
unhealthy and she was restless. "Comfort yourself with a candle,"
she
was advised. "I've tried that," she said, "But you get tired of the
same thing wick in and wick out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Sweaty
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I'm Just Hoping
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First Pregnancy
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He Wishes
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Young Ben
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A fellow was about to enter a bar when a dog tugged at his trouser
leg and said to him, "Hey, pal! Wanna make some quick money?"

The man couldn't believe his ears. He said to the dog, "Can you
talk?"

"Yeah," the dog answered, "and that's how we can pick up some easy
money. You take me into the bar with you, pretend I'm your dog, and
bet everybody I can talk."

The fellow thought that was a great idea, so he took the dog into
the
bar, set it on the bar, and announced to everyone that the dog could
talk. The other patrons didn't believe him, and it wasn't long
before several thousand dollars had been bet. Finally, after all the
bets had been placed, the guy said to the dog, " All right, go ahead
and say something."

Nothing.

He told the dog again, "Hey! All the bets are placed! Say
something, for God's sake!"

The dog just looked at him and whined.

He, asked again and again, but the dog wouldn't say a word. Finally,
the fellow had to pay all the bets, scooped up the dog in disgust
and
walked out. Once outside, he screamed at the dog, "You just cost me
way over a thousand dollars! You got anything to say before I
seriously boot your mangy arse?"

"Take it easy, pal! You ain't thinkin'," the dog
answered. "Tomorrow night, we'll be able to get odds of fives or
better."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Nostalgia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company
very much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Peter to her
place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and
energetic session in bed together.

Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and
snuggled up close to each other.

After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood.
Surprised but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be
ready for more already?"

Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic,
and I miss the days when I had mine."

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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing better than the sleep of the just is the sleep of the
just-after.

To most modern writers, sex is a novel idea.

The aging playboy should find some satisfaction in the knowledge
that
though he's not as good as he once was, he's as good once as he once
was.

"I love you terribly," said the young man. "You certainly do,"
agreed
his girlfriend.

"Mother," the young woman asked, "remember when you told me the way
to a man's heart was through his stomach?" "Sure," her mother
answered. "Well," the girl went on, "last night I think I may have
found a new route."

"It really is true," exclaimed the satisfied young woman to the man
lying beside her. "Nice guys finish last!"

"Never make love on an empty stomach," admonishes a young woman we
know. "Take him out to dinner first."

I'm not saying that my wife was naive when we got married, but she
thought "kinky sex" involved her wearing hair curlers to bed.

One determined young woman finally got so fed up with her shy
boyfriend's fumbling advances she decided to put him in her place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Swede Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Swedish men visited Copenhagen and decided to go to a
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money are you willing to spend here? Swedes: We have altogether 250
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Well, what do you want now? Swedes: Where can we pay?

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Jill asks her mother, "Can I go over to Rosey's house and
watch the magic show?"

Mother replied, "Whatever do you mean, dear?"

Jill said, "The one she performs. I heard her tell Nina she got $600
for doing six tricks last night."

It was a May-December marriage, and as the old man climbed in to bed
for the first time with his new bride, he asked, "Did your mother
tell you what to do on your wedding night?"

"Yes," she cooed, kissing him lightly, "She told me everything."

"Good," said the elderly gentleman as he turned out the light,
"because I've forgotten."

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
an outrageous yell."

"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see
what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doctor, can you tell me what I can do to keep from getting
pregnant?" "Why certainly, just eat peanut brittle." " I love Peanut
Brittle! Before or after?" "Neither before nor after. Instead of!"

"I always worry when you leave for a weekend with the guys," sobbed
the pretty young wife. "Don't worry about me, babe," he soothed her.
"I'll be back before you know it." "I know," she sighed. "That's
what
worries me."

Dr. Jones completed his examination of the teenage girl and took her
mother aside. "I'm afraid," he said, "that your daughter has
syphilis." "Oh, my!" exclaimed the embarrassed woman. "Tell me,
could
she possibly have caught it in a public lavatory?" After giving it a
little thought, Dr. Jones responded, "It's possible," then he added
-
"but it would certainly have been uncomfortable."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Womans Best Friend
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her
Then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her

There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
Who Went Off To Sea On A Freighter.
She Was Screwed By The Master,
An Utter Disaster,
But The Crew All Made Up For It Later.

There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
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''Men Are So Hit-Or-Miss
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OAKDALE, Calif. - The fundraising idea may seem a little nuts, but
Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday,
volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of
the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50
apiece for the sit-down meal.
The event, whose proceeds also benefit the Oakland Cowboy Museum,
has drawn an average of 450 people and last year raised $28,000.
It's common practice on cattle ranches for young male bovines to be
castrated into steers, which after the initial loss, eventually
makes them more docile and easier to handle. Fans of the delicacy,
also referred to as "mountain oysters," come from around the state.
According to Rotarians, everyone who buys a ticket is guaranteed to
"have a ball."

Arexar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darling," cooed the wife sweetly over morning coffee, "do you
remember
those trout you spent two weeks fishing for back in April?" "Sure,"

mumbled her husband through his newspaper. "Well," she continued,
"one of them called last night to say you're going to he a father."


Larry Fox

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1556

Katherine's, A Fine Place to Dine,,,or Die..

Rob: Why did you slap me Tami?

Tami: Mumble...

Waiter: Here Madam, a rose for you, imported from Tibet.

Rob: How special and how beautiful.

Tami: Thank you...it is lovely...Ahhh Choo! Ahhh Choo!
Ahhh Chooo! I must be allergic to this Rose...

Rob: It was a nice gesture though you have to admit.

Tami: Sniff, sniff, yes it was. There was no way they could have
known,,,or could they. They must have known. They are out to get
me.

Rob: Don't get paranoid dear. Relax and look here comes our meal.

A silver tray comes and unfolds a beautiful meal...for Rob Pheasant
under glass....for Tami, a grilled cheese sandwich.

Tami: I did not order a grilled cheese sandwich.

Waiter: We are so sorry, but the cook...alas, he accidently ruined
your
steak and we are all out of T-bone steaks. The sandwich is free of
course.

Rob: How nice of them.

A short while later and Rob is done eating and his pager goes off.

Rob: I must leave...you go ahead and have desert and I will meet
you at home honey.

Tami: Okay. How bad can desert be?

The waiter clears off the table...the comes back...

Waiter: Desert ma'am?

Tami: I think a slice of pie would be nice.

Waiter: Apple, Cherry, Pumpkin, Chocolate, or Lemon?

Tami: Chocolate please.

Waiter: Dark or light?

Tami: ARRRGH!!!

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

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To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have a particular weakness for which I cannot overcome.
I dearly love eating potato chips and french onion dip. Don't
ask me why, Its a fact of life. Cholesterol be damned, I continue
the habit. The other day I was in the store looking for a good bargain
on a bag of chips. The brand of dip is without question. Its always
Spartan. I buy Spartan brand for a couple reasons, tastes good, and it
is a Michigan brand. But anyways, while browsing I was looking at potato
chip labels when one less known brand caught my eye. The company was
located in Detroit. It said that in 1930 there were 20 different potato
chip companies in the city. Today, it claimed to be the only chip
manufacturer left in Detroit. All the others left and moved overseas.
I bought the Detroit made chips. You know, we just spent 800 billion
dollars in a tax hike to stimulate the economy. We could have done more
for the economy and it would have been less expensive if Americans buy
American. Elimination of free trade would do far more for the US economy
than any stimulus the government could ever come up with.
Want to put Americans back to work? Buy American made.
I do.
Wonder why our president never wants to talk about that?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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POWER POOINT DISPLAYS
 
 
 
 
 
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A kitty and a rooster held a race.
They reached a stream.
The cat said to the rooster, "I'm not jumping that --
you KNOW cats hate getting wet!"
The rooster replied, "Don't be a chicken --
just back up and take a flying leap!"
The cat tried, and landed in the middle  of the stream.
The rooster smiled contentedly. "What's so bloody  funny?" asked the cat.
The rooster answered, "Well, NOTHING pleases a cock more'n seeing a wet pussy!!"
_______________
 
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where
they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They
opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom
removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewwww---what's wrong with
your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"
"I had tolio as a child, " he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes." The bride was satisfied
with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom
took off is pants, his bride wrinkled up her nose. "What's wrong with
your knees?" she asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?"
she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected
my knees." The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the
undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me, " she said. "Let me guess.....Small Cox?"
____________
 
It was happy hour in the bar, and the air hung heavy in thick blue
folds as the regular bunch lit up some "happy weed."
Suddenly, a loud voice boomed from the entrance and demanded that
they open the door in the name of legality.
The smokers frantically gathered their still-smoking weeds and
stuffed them inside the cuckoo clock.
The police entered, searched diligently, found nothing and left.
The group breathed a sigh of relief, and made for the cuckoo clock
to retrieve their stash.
Just then, the clock's hands announced 6 pm. The little door popped open,
the bird poked his head out and said,
"Heyyyy duuuudes! What the fuck time is it?"
_____________
 
Little Johnny grabbed some cookies cooling on the kitchen counter
and his mother smacked his hand.
"OW! What did you do that for?" he said.
"Your hand was doing something it wasn't suppose to and it needed to be
punished. Now go see what your father is doing."
Little Johnny ran to the garage just as his father accidentally dropped
his hot glue gun on his hand. His father cursed in pain and batted the tool
away from his hand. Little Johnny ran back to his mother and said,
"Mom! Dad's smacking his tool in the garage. I think his tool needed
to be punished, too."
____________
 
Saturday had always been "cleaning day" in the old homestead,and
my mother still adhered to the ritual after all her childrenhad
left the nest.When I stopped by to visit her one Saturday, I was
surprised tofind her relaxing in a favorite chair."Aren't you feeling
well?" I asked."I feel fine.""But you're not cleaning.""After all these
years I've finally figured out how to get it donein half the time,"
Mom told me. "I simply take off my glasses."
___________
 
Two accountants were discussing a colleague's interest in
one of the firm's new secretaries.
"I just don't get it" said one. "She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs.
"That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think that's the floor
he's getting off on."
______________
 
SYDES JOKES LIST
 
 
 
PAPA Thorn
 
Grim              
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Grim.jpg
 
Free Apology                      
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=history-apology.jpg
 
Homer's brain           
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=HOMER.JPG
 
Justice                     
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=justice.jpg
______________
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
Panic Away -End Anxiety And Panic Attacks.
http://buffaloschips.com/panic
 
Grow Taller 4 Idiots Increase Your Heigth 2 to 3 inches
in six weeks.
http://buffaloschips.com/taller
 
Eat Stop Eat- Very Popular Intermittent Fasting Program.
http://buffaloschips.com/stop
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 



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