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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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(made in the USA)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE GUIDE FROM HOME DEPOT
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Well my friends, the state of Michigan still hangs in
the balance. As of Monday,if no agreement is reached on
the state budget, lawmakers are going
to authorize shutdown for many state services. now check
this out, what are they thinking of closing? the state
lottery which contributes 688 million per year into
the general fund, packaged liquor sales, which
contributed about 310 million in state revenue last year,
the secretary of state, which generated 2.3 billion. I
just have to ask myself what do these folks who
are in state government know about running the state?
If you are already in a state budget crisis, why would
you shutdown the services of the state that are making money?
Thats kindof like me saying,"gee, I can't make my mortgage
payment, so I'm gonna stay home from
work so I can save money on gas." Makes about the same
amount of sense.In the meantime, folks like my daughter
worry. As a college student, she could lose her state grant
for the semester, and because she relies on public
transportation, an agency which could also close down, she
won't be able to go to school anyway. The "war department"
has a birthday at the end of the month. But I am cautious
about renewing her liscence plate on line if the dmv closes.
What the hell, what do I know about it anyways,
I'm just a damn redneck. Screw it, the weather's nice,
lets just go fishin.
Oh yeah, can't do that either. I forgot,
you gotta get a state liscence:(
Ever wonder what happened to R2D2 ?
after his movie career was over he got a job at Starbucks.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
COMICS
false alarm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e071.html
what am I
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e072.html
I forgot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e073.html
ain't that a kick in the pants?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e074.html
football and the first thanksgiving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e075.html
Moses and the 10 commandments
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e076.html
how long
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e077.html
the trouble with hospital food
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e078.html
Dr Phil says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e079.html
get lucky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e080.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
too technical #1
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies505.html
too technical #2
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies506.html
Budweiser
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies507.html
may day may day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies508.html
Win a new Lincoln MKX
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________________
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James , a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training,
the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber
sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued
Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist
yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued
him a jock strap. The Army has
been looking for Herman for 51 years.
_____________
Chocolate vs. Sex.
1) You can GET chocolate even if you are ugly and fat.
2) "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with
chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) Two People of the same sex can have chocolate
without being called nasty names.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won't mind.
8) You can safely have a chocolate while you are driving.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/
desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
________________
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted
after a 20 hour shift.
Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal
thermometer out of her purse and tries to
write with it.
She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat
says:"Well, that's great.... that's really great...
some asshole's got my pen."
____________
A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend
pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and
ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other
end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young
lady a drink. As the evening progressed, the old man joined the
lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on.
Four days later, the old man noticed that he was developing a
drip, and he headed for the rest home doctor. After careful
examination the doctor asked the old man if he had engaged
in sex recently.The old man said, "Sure!"
The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman
was and where she lived."Sure, why?"
"Well you'd better get over there, you're about to cum!"
____________
While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that
Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny.
"Nope," replied Jimmy.
"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?"
Again Jimmy says, "Nope."
"You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny.
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom
and Dad's bedroom the other night
when they were 'doing the nasty'.
Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely
jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents'
bedroom until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly
strode into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily,
"What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said,
"Fine. Stand in the corner, but keep quiet."
_________
"I have to tell the truth," a young man
said to his hot blonde girlfriend...
"While we've been dating, I've been
secretly seeing a Psychiatrist."
"Don't worry about it," the blonde told her boyfriend,
"I've been secretly seeing a lawyer,
a car salesman and two airline pilots."
_______________
A woman was walking along pushing her
newborn baby in the carriage
when an old friend approached her. The friend leaned over, peering
into the carriage said, "What a beautiful baby
boy, and he looks
JUST like his father."
"I know", replied the woman,
"I just wish he looked more like my husband!"
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Frost Bites
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112464.htm
Cat Feeding Puppies
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112465.htm
Chewing Gum
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112466.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
