Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I want to thank everyone for the letters of condolence and sympathy
for the passing of my sister. I intend to share them with Cathy's
daughter in a couple of days after things quiet down as the wake is
tomorrow and the funeral Wed. I did spend a good chunk of Sunday
visiting with the family out in the country trying to make sense out
of why we are disappearing so fast and decided it was mainly age
and the fact there was ten kids.
Anyhow so as not to dwell on death, Buffy and I took a ride up to
the appliance store to look at several possible replacement
refrigerators. As I mentioned before we are in the middle of
reconstruction of not one but three major streets in town and detours
and flagmen are a way of life but Buffy and I were joking about
the signs we saw. For example some streets have signs reading
Dead End and others use No Outlet instead. The latter is definitely
preferable as who wants to drive past a sign saying Dead End
each night as they go home. The next thing we noticed were
signs for handicapped children at play. We drove past signs for
hearing and sight impaired children playing but when we got to the
one that said Slow Children Playing I thought that was really cruel
to remind your mentally challenged children of their handicap every
time they passed the sign. Makes you wonder if the guy holding the
Slow sign where there is only one lane had to have an IQ under 70
to qualify for that job. A friend reminded me later that even crueler
was to have a sign saying Dip in front of your house.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A couple of newsletters you may enjoy
*** JustForFunForYou..Adult Humor***
FUNNERS (ADULT HUMOR)
Come Play With Us!
Sometimes We Play Naughty!
Sometimes We Play Nice!
But We Do Have FUN!
Adult-Humor from G (oh yeah) to X (oh my)!
Come Join Our FUN!
We have something for everyone!
Our mail runs 6000+ per month so choose Digests
if u don't want mail to clog or
Indidvidual if u want to see attachments.
If you are 18 or older, come on in, get comfy and
enjoy the FUN!!
* JustForFunForYou-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
* http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JustForFunForYou
And
Eating-Pointed-Recipes
Welcome to Eating Pointed Recipes.
This Group is for anyone who are on Diets and count PointsCalories etc.
We only have a few requirements:
1-Do not sign up unless unless your age is listed in your Profile.
2-Do not post a recipe without Calorie Value or Points.
3-The only recipes that can be posted without Point Value are WW Core.
So please relaxsit back and enjoy.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Eating-Pointed-Recipes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
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Distributes your weight evenly across your foot to help prevent
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It also eases impact by evenly distributing the force of each step!
Flexes and cushions to help absorb destructive shock waves from
traveling up through your entire body every time your foot hits the
ground!
NEW! Cushions your heel for ultimate comfort! A cushioning gel pad in
the heel provides extra shock absorption and comfort.
NEW! Kills germs and odors! Advanced Nanosilver antibacterial technology
kills germs and odors as you walk. Your feet, shoes and orthotics stay
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three nuns stand at the Pealry Gates of Heaven, and Saint Peter
turns to them and explains that they must answer a single question
each to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Sister Lara steps forward.
"Who was the first man on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Adam," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
Sister Evelyn steps forward and says she is ready.
"Who was the first woman on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Eve," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
The Mother Superior steps forward and announces that she is ready.
"What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" asks the Saint. The
Mother Superior is shocked.
"My goodness," she says, "that's a hard one." And the lights flash,
the bells toll and the gates of Heaven open.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Begging
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30839.htm
Not pretty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30840.htm
Queer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/20841.htm
Dating Agency
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30842.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ol' Jack gets thrown out of the pub at closing time and staggers down
the road in the general direction of home. Knowing that he's not going
to make it he goes into the woods to throw a hughie (vomit).
He leans against a tree and brings up the last four hours of alcohol and
then stands upright to wipe his mouth and beard. Looking down blearily
he notices an old lamp sticking out of the dirt, fortunately untouched
by his offering to hughie.
"Hey, some fool ha' thrown away a gud lamp here," says Jack and he bends
down to pick it up. He examines the lamp and brushes off some of the
dirt and grit.
There's a flash of light, plumes of smoke and a genie pops out of the
lamp. This thing is eight feet tall and twice as wide; wearing a yellow
saffron loin cloth and those weird slippers with the upturned toes.
"Master," the genie booms. "You have freed me from imprisonment in the
lamp. I shall grant you three wishes!"
Jack looks up at the genie and says, "Well, just fuck me!"
History does not relate what his next two wishes were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Uncle Max has had chronic diarrhea and bloody stools. His physician
referred him to a proctologist who discovered he had diverticulitis. It
was recommended that he have half of his colon surgically removed. It
was really a rough period in his life, because he knew that would leave
him with only a semi-colon! When my uncle asked me for my advice, I
thought I would be a real comma-dian. So I told him I was glad it wasn't
my asterisk.
I carried my date, slung over my shoulder, into my parent's house. She
was passed out. "Liquor?" asked my dad. "Nope, but banged her four
times." I replied.
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from San Diego to
Austin. The son who had been looking out the window turned to his
mother, and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby
cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't
think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked
the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,
why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess asked, "Did your
mother tell you to ask me?" He said that she had. So she said, "Tell
your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time."
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't
pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comfy Control
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reasons why Harley's are better than women:
Harley's only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Harley's curves never sag.
Harley's last longer.
Harley's don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Harley any time of the month.
Harley's don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Harley to wake it up.
You can share your Harley with your friends. (Never! - MM)
If your Harley makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new belt for your Harley when the old one is
REALLY WORN.
If your Harley smokes, you can do something about it.
Harley's don't care about how many other Harleys you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Harley both arrive at the same time.
Harley's don't mind if you look at other Harleys, or if you buy
motorcycle magazines.
New Harley's must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for
them,
you don't get them.
If your Harley goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Harley is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Harley is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Harley is misaligned, you don't have to have long
discussions to
correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Harley.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Harley.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood tests to register your
Harley.
If you say bad things to your Harley, you don't have to apologize
before
you can ride it again.
You can ride a Harley as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Harley after you
dump
it.
Harley's always feel like being ridden.
Harley's don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
Your Harley never wants a night out alone with the other Harley's.
Harley's don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Harley.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your Harley.
If your Harley doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better
parts.
You can't get diseases from a Harley you don't know very well.
If you get rid of your Harley it doesn't get to keep half of your
stuff.
If you leave town you don't have to worry if your Harley is letting
somebody else ride it.
You can trade your Harley in for a newer model without paying
alimony.
Your Harley doesn't mind if you play with it in public. Hey! Not all
women are opposed to that...some even prefer it!!
Your Harley has an off switch. You can totally ignore your Harley as
long as you want.
Your Harley won't get offended if you suggest bigger, aftermarket
headlights.
You know exactly how much your Harley is going to take out of your
checking account each month.
Your Harley doesn't expect foreplay.
Your Harley doesn't want to snuggle after being ridden.
People envy your Harley more the older it gets.
Your Harley doesn't mind waiting outside while you go into a strip
club.
If you don't want your Harley anymore, it's not illegal to sell it.
You can Bore & Stroke it in public & no one cares!
Harley's don't mind having two riders at the same time.
You can sit, drinking a beer & stare at your Harley for hours & it
won't
ask you stupid questions!
You can call your Harley anything in the book and still get to ride
it
after it's all fired up!
If you take care of your Harley, it will never get to old for you to
ride it.
You can call your Harley a hog and it wont get pissed.
You don't have to give your Harley a ring in order to get a ride!
YOU
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL IT YOU LOVE IT!
You can always tell if your Harley is turned on or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.
Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
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Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.
http://buffaloschips.com/magmes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course.
As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don?t you see the sign? It
says private property ... stay out!"
The golfer says, "I am sorry I did not see it. That is my ball there.
May I have it??" The man says, "It's in my yard and so it is my ball
now."
The golfer looks at the man and says, "I understand."
He then walks back to the golf cart gets a golf ball and walks back and
throws it in the yard.
The man says, "What is that for ?"
The golfer replies, "I?m a gentleman. Every prick should have two
balls."
Patricia
Man Killed on Golf Course . . . The Price of Honesty!
A foursome is
waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the
ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time.When the final lady is
ready
to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it
completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it
another five feet. She looks up at the waiting men and says
apologetically, "I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the
winter
didn't help." One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you
have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!" He never even had
a
chance to duck. He was 43.
Ivan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Try it today and get your teeth whiter and brighter in 90 seconds .
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Daybreak Sheds The Dark
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/B/Da.html
John w/ Disney Memories
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_classics/017/disney.htm
Marlene/When My Life is Over/New Gospel
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/WhenMyLifeIsOver.html
Portrait of Middle Age
http://www.carolspoetry.com/middle.html
Chalk Art 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart5.html
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Relieve your foot pain with WalkFit Platinum
Walk-fit cups the foot with durable support to relieve discomfort!
Distributes your weight evenly across your foot to help prevent
collapsing, pressure points, stress and rubbing. This reduces painful
burning, bunions, corns, and calluses.
It also eases impact by evenly distributing the force of each step!
Flexes and cushions to help absorb destructive shock waves from
traveling up through your entire body every time your foot hits the
ground!
NEW! Cushions your heel for ultimate comfort! A cushioning gel pad in
the heel provides extra shock absorption and comfort.
NEW! Kills germs and odors! Advanced Nanosilver antibacterial technology
kills germs and odors as you walk. Your feet, shoes and orthotics stay
fresh all day, everyday!
http://buffaloschips.com/wfpl
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Surfin Surfari
Fake Science
http://tinyurl.com/28ve5tn
boomerang
http://tinyurl.com/28kl29z
Auto MotorPlex
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/automotorplex.html
Amazing Street-Legal Airplane
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/transition.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Patriotic Midis
http://d21c.com/emma3/july/midispc.html
Memorial Day Graphics
http://jsmagic.net/memorial/
File splitting Program
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thepuppyplace.org/dogtips.html?
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
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First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
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Movie Links
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
Store Clerk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81822.htm
Strip Tease
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81823.htm
Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3r44.htm
Hair Piece
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg7.htm
Hang Onto That Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjh.htm
Happy New Year
http://www.buffaloschips.com/76tg.htm
Hard Day
http://www.buffaloschips.com/o8u.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday
surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop
rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him.
"What color?" they asked. He settled for white.
"How much does it cost?" he asked.
"Twenty dollars."
"Very good," he thought. All that remained was the size,
but he hadn't the faintest idea.
"Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts?
Grape fruits? Oranges?"
"No," he said, "nothing like that."
"Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's
bust resembles."
He thought long and hard and then looked up and said,
"Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30836.htm
Grand theft
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30837.htm
Hard Boiled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30838.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Taking a little breather today from spring cleaning while I
wait
to hear about some free dump passes ( Buffy wanted to know
why the city was giving out dumb passes ) so I can lighten
this
place up by a 1000 pounds or so. With a few less possessions
I might even decide to do some painting this summer.
We are in negotiations right now for an auto parts plant.
This
would replace all the jobs that have left the area in the
past 5
years and they might even have a place for a buffalo. Of
course
it all depends on which state offers the best incentives. To
our advantage we have an empty factory with loading docks
and
a power system that would fit their purpose without building
so we shall see.
Eva has developed an affection for cute bugs, mostly little
beetles.
I have told her that they are bad and that they will eat her
chocolate
when she turns her back. She plays with them just like a cat
with
a grasshopper. Fortunately we don't have any poisonous bugs
and
her mom has taught her to hate spiders.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reasons why Harley's are better than women:
Harley's only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Harley's curves never sag.
Harley's last longer.
Harley's don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Harley any time of the month.
Harley's don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Harley to wake it up.
You can share your Harley with your friends. (Never! - MM)
If your Harley makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new belt for your Harley when the old
one is
REALLY WORN.
If your Harley smokes, you can do something about it.
Harley's don't care about how many other Harleys you have
ridden.
When riding, you and your Harley both arrive at the same
time.
Harley's don't mind if you look at other Harleys, or if you
buy
motorcycle magazines.
New Harley's must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay
for
them,
you don't get them.
If your Harley goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Harley is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Harley is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Harley is misaligned, you don't have to have long
discussions to
correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Harley.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your
Harley.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood tests to
register your
Harley.
If you say bad things to your Harley, you don't have to
apologize
before
you can ride it again.
You can ride a Harley as long as you want and it won't get
sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Harley
after you
dump
it.
Harley's always feel like being ridden.
Harley's don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
Your Harley never wants a night out alone with the other
Harley's.
Harley's don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Harley.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your Harley.
If your Harley doesn't look good, you can paint it or get
better
parts.
You can't get diseases from a Harley you don't know very
well.
If you get rid of your Harley it doesn't get to keep half of
your
stuff.
If you leave town you don't have to worry if your Harley is
letting
somebody else ride it.
You can trade your Harley in for a newer model without
paying
alimony.
Your Harley doesn't mind if you play with it in public. Hey!
Not all
women are opposed to that...some even prefer it!!
Your Harley has an off switch. You can totally ignore your
Harley as
long as you want.
Your Harley won't get offended if you suggest bigger,
aftermarket
headlights.
You know exactly how much your Harley is going to take out
of your
checking account each month.
Your Harley doesn't expect foreplay.
Your Harley doesn't want to snuggle after being ridden.
People envy your Harley more the older it gets.
Your Harley doesn't mind waiting outside while you go into a
strip
club.
If you don't want your Harley anymore, it's not illegal to
sell it.
You can Bore & Stroke it in public & no one cares!
Harley's don't mind having two riders at the same time.
You can sit, drinking a beer & stare at your Harley for
hours & it
won't
ask you stupid questions!
You can call your Harley anything in the book and still get
to ride
it
after it's all fired up!
If you take care of your Harley, it will never get to old
for you to
ride it.
You can call your Harley a hog and it wont get pissed.
You don't have to give your Harley a ring in order to get a
ride!
YOU
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL IT YOU LOVE IT!
You can always tell if your Harley is turned on or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
mouth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a007.html
enough
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a008.html
trash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a009.html
Morecambe And Wise - Making Breakfast
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000984.html
Morecambe And Wise - Mastermind
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000985.html
Mother About George Bush
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000986.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three nuns stand at the Pealry Gates of Heaven, and Saint
Peter
turns to them and explains that they must answer a single
question
each to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Sister Lara steps
forward.
"Who was the first man on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Adam," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells
toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
Sister Evelyn steps forward and says she is ready.
"Who was the first woman on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Eve," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells
toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
The Mother Superior steps forward and announces that she is
ready.
"What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" asks the Saint.
The
Mother Superior is shocked.
"My goodness," she says, "that's a hard one." And the lights
flash,
the bells toll and the gates of Heaven open.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Order today and see results in just 10 days
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday
surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop
rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him.
"What color?" they asked. He settled for white.
"How much does it cost?" he asked.
"Twenty dollars."
"Very good," he thought. All that remained was the size,
but he hadn't the faintest idea.
"Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts?
Grape fruits? Oranges?"
"No," he said, "nothing like that."
"Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's
bust resembles."
He thought long and hard and then looked up and said,
"Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father
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The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to
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His uncle soon returned back to the poker table without
Little
Johnny, and without comment the game resumed. For the rest
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players
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After the poker game ended, Little Johnny's father asked the
uncle,
"What in the world did you do to Little Johnny? I haven't
heard a
peep from him all day!"
"Not much," Little Johnny's uncle replied. "I just showed
him how
to masturbate."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Personals Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Single, unemployed female with several children out of
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Single, white, affluent male starting a savage cult; orders
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/He Hears
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Jobs
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Portrait of Middle Age
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Playing A Violin With Three Strings
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Movie Links
Spitz Hound
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Sex with the witness
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Stay off the pole
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Love
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Hair Piece
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Hang Onto That Pole
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Happy New Year
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Hard Day
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother to teenage daughter: "You're going to have to
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going to have to learn to fight that too !
=============================================
You know the romance is over when you come to bed,
ready to make love to your wife, and she is on the
phone, and she tells whoever she is talking to that
she will call them back in ten minutes...
================================================
The old professor goes to see a psychiatrist to
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confides to the shrink, "Mrs. Professor will stop at
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bottomless sexual cravings. What can I do?"
The psychiatrist says, "Please tell Mrs. Professor I'd
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still,
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away,
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window,
And crushed his fucking head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The curator of a western art museum commissioned a local artist to paint
a mural of Custer's Last Thought. The artist was told to make it highly
symbolic of Custer's mind set during the debacle at Little Big Horn.
Deep in thought, the artist went to his studio. After many false starts,
he began work on an enormous oil painting. Finally, after many months,
the painting was unveiled for the curator.
In the foreground is a beautiful crystalline blue lake with a single
fish leaping, and above the fish's head is a halo. In the background,
the hills and meadows are covered with naked Indian couples copulating.
The curator is both disgusted and baffled by what he sees. In a rage he
turns to the artist and asks, "What the hell has this got to do with
Custer's Last Thought?"
The artist replies, "It's simple. Custer's last thought had to have
been, 'Holy Mackerel! Where did all these fuckin' indians come from?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2063
Gone at Night
Diana: Where does Katie go at night?
BJ: Beats me. She says she needs to run some
errands.
Rudy: I will follow her tonight, okay Pops?
BJ: Yeah, I just don't want her to get into trouble.
Rudy: Leave it to me.
Later....
Katie: Gotta go run some errands be back in a
while.
Rudy waits a couple of minutes and then sneaks
out and shadows Kate.
Kate wanders around to the train yard and climbs
into a boxcar where.....
Man: Mama needs some new shoes, I need a six...
Darn a seven.
Katie: New shooter in the house.
Man #2: Money talks and you-know-what walks.
Katie breathes on the dice: Come on you bones and don't
let me down..
Seven a winner!
Katie: One more time for the Irish in Caldwell.
Seven again...a winner!
Man #3: Hey did you switch the dice?
Katie: No, I did not. In fact because of that comment, I
am leaving.
All three men: Not taking our money you are not.
Rudy enters and growls: You took your chances and lost.
Men: Yeah, okay, we were just kidding.
Rudy: Come on Kate, you can get me a brew on the way
home.
Kate: Why did you forget your money?
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
