Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Here's a story that will shake the little ones up and make them put
Rover in the basement on Christmas Eve.
Tonight's my first night as a watchdog, and here it is Christmas
Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs, while I'm guarding the
stockin's and tree, what's that now - footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who's this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard, and a big sack for robbin' the house?
I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air, I've frightened
the whole bunch away.
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again, the stockin's are
safe as can be.
Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow, and see how
I've guarded the tree.
buffalo says I always worried as a kid that something would go wrong
and Santa wouldn't show. There was all those houses all over the
world and only one Santa. It wasn't like the Postal Service although
that would have been a better story like one Santa to take care of
each city. Every one knew also that Santa wouldn't come if you were
awake but you always heard conflicting stories about that one. I
know for a fact if you put me in a dark quiet room as a kid, I went
to sleep. I tried to stay awake on New Year's Eve as the played the
Top 100 hits of the year on the radio and I would hear a dozen and
start snoring and the next thing it would be morning and I had
wasted a 25 cent 9 volt battery.
Hey Over at Let's Bring Em Home thet have 118 tickets ready to go
which surpasses last year and they are still trying to book some
more flights
Donations received: $66,627.77
Miles donated: 642,500
Number of donors: 898
Amount still needed: $14,614.31
http://www.lbeh.
I cannot believe the generosity even though times are rough all
over. Please help if you can.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck Chips
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Christmas in West Virginia
Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack
Not a creature was stirrin', cept the lice on muh back.
The Skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care,
With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were sleepin', all snug in their beds,
While visions of tractor pulls danced in their heads.
And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake.
Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake.
When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard,
I opened the winder to check muh T-bird.
I ran to the door, like I's on a mission,
But I tripped on some parts from muh granny's transmission.
The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'.
Muh daughter weren't home yet, she wuz still out parkin'.
When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see
But a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin' sheep.
With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin' and sick
I said, "Shoot Fire! That must be St. Nick!
More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came
And he belched and he hollered, and he called 'em by name.
Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS!
On FESTUS! On ELMER! On ROSCOE and CLETUS!
From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins
Now Dash Away! Dash Away! Dash Away youins!
I heard a loud sound on the roof of muh shack.
Pud down muh beer and went fer muh gun rack.
He fell through the roof, plum killed my dog,
I swear that ole' Santa looked just like Boss Hog.
He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front,
And his jeans were all bloody from that morning's hunt.
A big nekkid lady tattooed on his arm,
And he wore black boots that he'd picked up in 'Nam.
His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey.
From the side of his mouth hung a stick of beef jerky.
A scar on his cheek from a fight with the cops.
The veins on his face looked ready to pop.
The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip
He wore a hip pack full of B-B-Q chips.
He had a fat face and a hairy beer belly.
I ain't seen one that big since muh ex-wife Shelly.
He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three
And I laughed cause that redneck was smarter than me.
A wink of his eye, a fierce shake of his head,
From his hair came a rat that ran under the bed.
He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic,
Then filled the kid's stockings with Hooked on Phonics.
His toys came from Big Lots and they weren't very nice
But he had lots of them and yuh can't beat the price.
He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells. Some
Crisco, some Spam, some Oatmeal Cream pies, And a Nascar T-shirt in
Double X size.
When the presents were gone and he had no more,
He staggered and stumbled right through muh screen door.
He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order
"Hurry up youins! To the Tennessee border!"
And I heard him cry out, with a strong southern drawl,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU REDNECKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL... YEE HAWWWW!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
hey man
http://www.thepostm
where the hell
http://www.thepostm
Stanley wake up!
http://www.thepostm
Fart Sniffing
http://www.sydesjok
Farting
http://www.sydesjok
Fashions By Monica
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carol Chips
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A teacher asked her students to write the words to their favorite
Christmas Carols. Here are some of the lines she received.
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer.
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse
and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mini Sewing Machine
Mini Sew-Wonder is the new cordless sewing machine. It's as powerful
as a full size machine, but lightweight, battery/AC adapter powered
and can be used right out of the box. Forget the hassle of ordinary
sewing machines that can be bulky and heavy.
Get the job done with Mini Sew-Wonder.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
strologic Condoms
Scorpio: Scorpio condoms outsell all others. That's probably because
people try to impress each other with their sexual prowess by
pretending that they're a Scorpio. The truth is that no right
thinking Scorpio would get caught dead wearing a condom. But then
death doesn't scare a Scorpio. And a Scorpio doesn't get caught.
Scorpio condoms come in two editions, basic black and the stealthy
invisible model. Both leather and studs are optional. Also, because
propriety concerns Scorpio, each package of Scorpio condoms comes
with a pre-printed, pre-coital agreement. Symbolized by the venomous
Scorpion, when you really want to sting your lover, you want a
Scorpio condom.
Sagittarius: Sagittarians are known for their worldly pursuits,
gamesmanship, cosmopolitan attitude and knack for doing things in a
big way. Sagittarian condoms are the sportier models. They come
equipped with travel cases. Sagittarian condoms are the ones that go
with you and grow with you. They promise a lot and they are extra
thick to protect against fluids of a dubious nature. The archer
symbolizes Sagittarius. When you want to be on target with Cupid's
arrows, you want a Sagittarius condom.
Capricorn: Capricorns are known for their longevity, wisdom,
practicality, ambition and earthy sensuality. Capricorns tend to be
on the conservative side. Capricorn condoms are the most durable,
having the longest shelf life. Capricorn condoms are extra strong to
last extra long. With Capricorn condoms, wing tips, pin stripes and
brief cases are optional. Be sure to shake them out from time to
time, otherwise they go stale. Capricorn is the sign of the mountain
goat. When you're horny enough to climb the mountains of love, you
want a Capricorn condom.
Aquarius: Aquarians are gregarious, yet aloof. Aquarius is a high
energy sign, and one that is usually politically correct. Aquarian
condoms are just a little bit kinky. They come colored hot pink and
electric blue, and they come with a battery pack to light up in the
dark and French ticklers for extra stimulation. With Aquarius
condoms, the packaging features political slogans such as the MiXXe
Maxim, "Things can change overnight; it depends upon how late you
stay up and with whom doing what." Since Aquarius is a social sign,
Aquarian condoms come in multi-packs and are detachable to share
with your friends. Aquarius is the sign of the water bearer. When
your love juices really get to flowing, you want an Aquarius condom.
Pisces: Pisces is known for their deep feelings that somewhat border
on mysticism. Pisces are idealistic, sometimes to the point of
ecstatic bliss. Pisces condoms are truly extra sensitive and
translucent. Little spikes are optional on the inside. Pisces
condoms contain special instructions for erotic fantasy games.
Pisces is the sign of the fishes. When it smells like love and
you're on a seafood diet, you want a Pisces condom.
Aries: Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries are action
oriented people. Aries is symbolized by the ram, so naturally Aries
condoms are made from the finest lambskin. Because Aries often
exhibits a "get up and go" attitude, Aries condoms are steel belted,
feature racing stripes, and every fully equipped sports car
dispenses them. Onyx packaging is optional for the black sheep.
Aries prides themselves on being first and best. Aries condoms are
perfect for quickies. When you want what you want when you want it,
you want an Aries condom.
Taurus: Taurus is perhaps the most sensual and economy minded of the
astrological signs. Taurus condoms are made from the most luxurious
materials with special models available in silk and velvet. Taurus
condoms give you quality at an affordable price, and they're
frequently on sale. Taurians may be slow to make their minds, but
once they've made a decision, they're almost impossible to stop.
When your love is a sure thing, you want a Taurus condom. The bull
symbolizes Taurus. Taurus condoms are the ones you want when you're
really horny.
Gemini: Gemini's are known for their versatility, intellect and
communications skills. Accordingly, Gemini condoms accommodate a
variety of sexual positions and combinations. Gemini condoms are
sold in multi-packs and come with a special audio chip. Naturally,
they're available through mail order. Frequently, Gemini condoms
sell two for the price of one. They always come in special pop up
dispensers so that you don't have to work too hard. Gemini is the
sign of the twins and Gemini condoms come in twin packs and are the
preferred model for double headers. When you need to do it more than
once, you need Gemini condoms.
Cancer: Cancer is a water sign and as such is very much interested
in safety and tradition. Therefore, Cancer condoms are waterproof
and heat treated for hot tubs and natural springs. Cancer condoms
make you feel secure. Cancer is also the sign of motherhood. With
Cancer condoms, if you decide to become a parent, you can always
return the unused portion for a partial refund. Cancer condoms are
clingy. Never has history known a time when Cancer condoms were not
available. Fine antique specimens grace many collections.
Astrologically speaking, Cancer is associated with the breasts. The
makers of Cancer condoms are happy to sponsor the annual spring
"Breast Worship Rituals." Cancer condoms are freely dispensed to
beautiful, large breasted women. Cancer is symbolized by the crab.
When you're not getting enough love and are starting to feel crabby,
reach for a Cancer condom.
Leo: Leos are known for their passion, pride, and (pro)creative
urges. Leos tend to be a bit flashy, showy and original in and out
of bed. Leo condoms come in gold foil packaging with custom
monogramming. Leo condoms come in one size: extra, extra large. Leo
is symbolized by the lion. When you're ready to meet your mate and
make wild jungle noises, you're ready for a Leo condom.
Virgo: Virgos are fussy and particular. Virgo condoms feature
perfection of fit and they keep you neat and clean. Virgos tend to
be environmentally sound consumer types. Naturally, Virgo condoms
have the lowest failure rate, the highest performance rating and
come equipped with a detailed, all purpose instruction manual. Virgo
is symbolized by the virgin. When you're ready for some ritualized
defloweration activities, you're ready for a Virgo condom.
Libra: Libras are suave and anxious to please others. Libra condoms
are the fancy European models and come in fashionable hand-painted
designer packaging. Libra condoms make for an elegant accessory on
the best dates. Libra condoms are aesthetically pleasing to both
partners. They are reversible and can turn into a diaphragm thus
sharing the responsibilities. Libra is symbolized by the scales.
When sex weighs heavily on your mind, you want a Libra condom. (By
Stan Kegel)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dryer Maid Dryer Ball
Get rid of pet hair from clothes, sheets and towels while they
tumble in your dryer. The Dryer Maid is like thousands of tiny lint
brushes in every load of laundry and it automatically releases it
into your lint trap for quick disposal.
Save money and time for only $14.99 + S&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman
walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realized that she was not in the
general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was
doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to
the woman, "Come on over, Ma'am, sit yerself down right here next to
me and have yerself a drink.
"Thank you kindly Sir, but I'm afraid that I couldn't," replied the
woman, "on account that I need to get bread."
The cowboy replied, "Uh, Ma'am, I do reckon you came to the right
place for that!"
HAIKUS ON GETTING OLD
Discounts and condos;
Viagra for everyone;
Getting older rocks!
I move very slow.
I pee fifteen times a day.
I'm old or pregnant.
People are staring;
Why's this meat so hard to chew?
Forgot my dentures.
"Kiss my wrinkled butt!"
"Shut up, you whippersnapper!
Old folks can be mean.
Wrinkles can't be helped.
Gray hairs are a fact of life.
Gas? Let's not go there!
Do you drive too slow?
Do you like to watch "Matlock"?
Guess what, friend? You're old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are
trapped inside. The Snuggie keeps you totally warm and gives you the
freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop, or do
some reading in total warmth and comfort!
- Super Soft, Luxurious Fleece
- One-size Fits All
- Available in:
Burgundy
Royal Blue
Sage Green
Snuggie is made with super soft, thick, luxurious fleece with roomy,
oversized sleeves that let you do what you want while still being
totally wrapped in warmth. Perfect for men, women, and children!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa's Pickup Lines
*I put the 'scroo' in Scrooge.
* I've got something you can hang a wreath on.
* One hour with me, honey, and you'll be seeing flyin' reindeer!
* Ho-Ho-How'd you like to shake like a bowl of jelly?
* That's No candy cane in my pocket, and I am glad to see you.
* Sugar, I got your stocking stuffer right here, Baby!
* I see you when you're sleeping and you don't wear any underwear,
do
you?
* Giddy-up over here and say 'howdy' to your fat, bearded cowboy of
love!
* Care to see my twelve inch elf?
* Hey Babe, when was the last time you had a really good sleigh?
* I've got something special in the sack just for you!
* I know when you've been bad or good so let's skip the small talk,
sister!
* Some of my favorite toys run on batteries...
* Forget the 'Nice' list, cuz I'm putting your name top of my 'nice
and naughty girl list'.
* Wanna see the 'North Pole'? (...that`s what Mrs. Claus calls it!)
* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jupiter Jack - Safely talk & drive at the same time.
Just plug the Jupiter Jack in then preset your radio to 99.3 FM. Now
you have a hands free device that projects your voice through your
speakers for less than half of what one would cost you anywhere
else.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had been waiting in a long line to sit on the
department store
Santa's lap when he finally gets his turn at it and climbs up.
Santa say to little Johnny, touching the little boy on the nose with
his
finger, "I'll bet you'd like a puppy for Christmas."
Johnny shakes his head, "No."
Santa touches the little Johnny's nose with his finger again, "Well,
then I'll
bet you'd like a kitten for Christmas."
Johnny again shakes his head, "No..."
The department store Santa then asked, "Well then, what would you
like for
Christmas, little boy?"
Johnny replies with a big grin, "I want some pussy!!!"
Santa, startled and almost speechless, stutters, "Well, I don't have
any of
that!?!?"
Little Johnny, touching Saint Nick on nose, answers back
smiling, "Yes you do,
because I can smell it on your finger!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.
Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Joan w/ Tis The Season
http://alongpoetryr
Murphy's Miracle Christmas.
http://www.poetryin
Lora w/ Sing Noel
http://www.loratrue
From Kathryn/A Dream And A Smile
http://www.adreaman
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Maxine On Jesus
http://www.shangral
A Disney Christmas
http://www.shangral
Redneck Christmas Tree
http://www.shangral
Best Commercial EVER!
http://www.youtube.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
NewYear Sigs MSN2
http://norbert26.
Holiday Sigs WEBTV
http://norbert26.
SnoVille's Graphics
http://snoville.
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.longlive
Kitty Korner
http://xenakidden.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
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you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
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your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
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Movie Links
Office B
http://www.buffalos
Polaroid
http://www.buffalos
Porky Pig
http://www.buffalos
Redneck 911 Call
http://www.buffalos
Redneck Crab Removal
http://www.buffalos
Hot Dog
http://www.buffalos
How To Blow Away A Deer
http://www.buffalos
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffalos
Hrbtno
http://www.buffalos
Ice fishing
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Medical Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A medical student just finished her last semester and was heading
out
to apply to a hospital. The director of the hospital thought the
woman was very bright and had a lot of potential. But the doctor
wanted to ask her a few questions just to quiz her.
"Well." said the doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few
questions before we make anything definite, ok?"
"Of course," said the woman"
Ok, what do we call the operation of removing your tonsils?" asked
the director "That's easy," the woman said, "A Tonsillectomy.
"Very good. ok, What is the removal of your appendix called, "the
director continued?
"I belive that is an Appendectomy,
"Good job. One more. What do we call a sex change operation?" the
director asked.
Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned every medical
term
known to man, but for some reason she could not remember what a sex
change operation was called. She sat staring ai the wall for some
time before the director began to get anxious.
"Do you know?" he asked repeatedly.
Regaining her composure she finally smiled and said, "of course,
Addadictomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fun Slides Carpet Skates
Wherever there's carpet, blast off with Fun Slides. They let you
have fun while getting exercise indoors. Because they're one size
fits all and loved by kids of all ages, they make a great gift. Fun
Slides come in six fun colors.
Buy one pair and we'll throw in a second pair at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
car wash
http://www.buffalos
case study
http://www.buffalos
cat
http://www.buffalos
cat1
http://www.buffalos
cat2
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.
Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.
As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fart Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.
This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.
Nobody could play the classics finer,
As he showed me one day in the diner.
I had a bagel with lox
while he played from his buttocks:
Chopin's Etude #12 in C-minor.
He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom,er-tum,
He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He'd proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.
His reportoire ranged from classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.
His basso profundo with timbre so rare
He rendered quite often, with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.
One day he was dared to perform
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in wonderful form.
It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale,
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.
The selection was tough, I admit,
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with his ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed...
And collapsed in a shower of shit.
His bunghole was blown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds
Inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.
Get two for the price of one when you order today.
Order now
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs.
Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. "It is really none of my
business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your
daughter is doing?"
"Why, no. Is she up to anything special?"
Mrs. Smith leaned closer. "Haven't you noticed? She has started
knitting tiny garments!"
Mrs. Jones' troubled brow cleared. "Well, thank goodness," she said
smiling, "at last she has taken an interest in something besides
running around with boys."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
lightweight binoculars include features such as:
Wide-angle viewing
Shatterproof lenses
Soft rubber eye cups
Comfort neck strap
Center focusing wheel
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top Ten Signs Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You...
10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit.
9. She's been wearing an engagement ring for
three weeks, but you don't recall proposing to
her.
8. She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week.
7. She says she has to tell you something... on Jerry Springer.
6. Her love letters come soaked in formaldehyde rather than perfume.
5. Whenever she introduces you it's always "I
would like you to meet an old friend of mine..."
4. She leaves a message on your phone and
identifies herself by both her first and last
names.
3. Your other girlfriend told you so.
2. The dartboard behind your photo on her wall.
1. Her girlfriends look at you, tilt their heads,
and say, "You haven't got a clue, do you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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