THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"If you're not gonna pull the trigger,
don't point the gun."
- James Baker
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Where has the year gone? 2009 is about to be
put to sleep, and in a few days, another new
year and new decade will be here. It has been
an eventful year. Its been heralded as a "year
of change" altho some may question that. With
the baloon boy affair and the Salahi's, it has also
been a year of hoaxes. And above all by most of
us it will be remembered as a year of upheaval.
Millions have seen their financial status change
with the economy. Has it been a good year? Perhaps
that is "in the eye of the beholder." I remember
one time some years back, both me and "The war
department" had lost our jobs. It was Christmas
eve and I had never seen a more baren christmas
tree. I was sitting there that afternoon feeling
pretty sad and sorry for my self and the war dept.
grabbed me by the collar and we went to a local
mall on Christmas eve afternoon to look for work.
There is nothing sadder than looking for a job on
Christmas eve. And I told her so. She said,
"But you know what? It gives you the hope that you
might find one." I didn't find a job that day,
but someone did tell me to come back on Monday.
Which I did, and they did put me to work, altho it
was temporary, it was enough to give us hope to
keep going. And eventually better times did come.
You know, that would not have happened if I had
kept sitting there on the couch feeling sorry for
myself.
Whatever 2009 is for you, I hope you are taking
the steps now to make next year better and greater!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________
THE COMICS
pussy whipped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e040.html
stolen identity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e041.html
who slept in my bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e042.html
good or bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e043.html
Henry?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e044.html
oral sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e045.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
naughty or nice list
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8660.html
racin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8658.html
tiny bubbles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8661.html
face off with a deadly predator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8659.html
Santa says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8662.html
This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her
Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away For a couple seconds...
And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane,
Still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver
Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand.
In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car
Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocked
My Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee
Between my legs! Splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins,
Ruined the damn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an
Important call.
Damn women drivers!
__________
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room
with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't
fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so
they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Bob and
comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess
and his eyes all bloodshot.. They said, "Man, what happened
to you?" He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and
watched him all night." The next night it was a different
guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing
up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?
You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof
with his snoring. I watched him all night." The third night
was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it..
They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got
ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him
on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and
watched me all night."
______________
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him.
Then he sees an ad in the paper for a great dog trainer.
So, he decides to go to the dog trainer and get his dog trained.
The guy walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog,
and are you a good trainer?" The trainer replies, "Well,
I can train your dog, and I will give you a demonstration
of how good I am." He dumped a box full of bones on the floor
and blew a whistle.The first dog came in and made a skeleton
with the bones. "Wow!" said the guy, "What kind of dog is that?"
"That's a nurse's dog," said the trainer.Then he blows the whistle
again and a second dog comes in the room. That dog makes a big
building. The man says, "Wow! What kind of dog is that?"
"That's an architect's dog," replies the trainer.
Then the trainer blows the whistle again and a third dog comes in.
That dog takes the bones, screws the other two dogs and runs away.
"Wow! What kind of dog is that?" says the man. "That's a lawyer's dog!"
___________
The pretty coed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual
operation, the removal of a large chunk of green wax from her navel.
Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician asked, "How did this
happen?" Let me put it this way, doc," the girl began.
"My boyfriend likes to eat by candlelight."
__________
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
A bad day at Disneyland is still better than a good day at work!
Life's a BITCH! If it was a SLUT it would be easy.
Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden?
Because he took a pea!
Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have
to borrow money to do it with.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it
considered rape or shoplifting?
______________
BUFFALO BILL
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/65r7.htm
Hrbtno
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ujyg687.htm
Ice fishing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkljlkjo.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Halloween Monster Name
http://tinyurl.com/yafh7ff
Voted The Top 10 Funny Posters
http://tinyurl.com/m8r5ng
Snowman Name Generator
http://tinyurl.com/yhmn4c3
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000524.html
European Parliament #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000525.html
Evil Ka Kills Bird
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000526.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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