Plants gone potty!: December 2011

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner/new years

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I have had a nice break and have had a
good Christmas. Addison, our first grand
baby, stole the show. However, she seemed
more enamoured with tearing the wrapping off
her presents than the actual presents them
selvs. You know, I have been thinking
back the last few years since I came down sick,
asking myself what I have accomplished. While
I do not do new years resolutions, I have determined
to make some goals for myself this year. Not sure
what, but I want to look back next year to see accomplishments.
I feel like I've done nothing to justify recieving that little SSI check
except to sit in the lazy boy with Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat.
Not sure yet what my goals for the new year will be,
but I will let u know as soon as I figure them out.
Not so sure about resolutions, but goals for
yourself are important. You need to aim
for something, if you do not, you will
hit nothing every time.
TRUST ME...s truth

Maybe you can think some goals up for yourself
and me also.!

Got a couple new pics for you...

me, Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat...and Addison the baby....

the war department and the grand babe

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

dreams of love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y001.html

Grand dad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y002.html

make up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y003.html

scales
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y004.html

mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y005.html

____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Happy new year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1409.html

Happy New Year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1410.html

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old
buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother,
'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and the
warmth of your body will warm them up.'The next day the daughter
was riding with her boyfriend who said,'My hands are freezing cold.'
The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs and the warmth of my
body will warm them up.'
He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, 'My nose is cold.'
The girl replied
'Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.'
He did and warmed his nose.
The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter,
and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.'
The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with
her mother again, and she asks,
'Have you ever heard of a penis?'
Concerned the mother said,
'Why yes..... why do you ask?'
The daughter replies,
'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!!!'
_______________________

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
smacked the crap out of him....
Like his mother used to do.
__________________

BUFFALO BILL

Cinema
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lk546k.htm

Clap Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl45j6lkj45.htm

Clean Undies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl54j6k54l.htm

That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 12-31-2011

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Tonight we say good-bye to 2011. I would like to also say good-bye
to all of the aches and pains of sorrows of 2011 and hope they choose
never to visit us again. At the same time store away all the good
memories
of the past year someplace close where we can draw on them when times
get tough in 2012. My sincerest thanks to all that helped me through my
trials and the loss of my sister when I know that many of you were
struggling with the same problems. I hope that all of you found a
shoulder
to lean on, a hug or a word of advice and that the chips helped bring a
smile to your face. buffalo

For those who have waited 31 days to see what we have to give
us reason to imbibe or take a moment to rest and contemplate
here is this month's list of weird holidays.

1 New Year's Day

1 First Foot Day

1 Polar Bear Swim Day

1 First Cheese Factory Opened

2 Drinking Straw patented

3 Festival of Sleep Day

3 National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day

4 Trivia Day

4 Tennis Day

4 Flower Basket Day

4 National Spaghetti Day

5 National Whipped Cream Day

5 Bird Day

6 Bean Day

7 Old Rock Day

7 Panama Canal Day

7 Typewriter Patented

8 Rock 'n' Roll Day

8 First Computer Patented

10 Peculiar People Day

10 Volunteer Fireman's Day

11 Secret Pal Day

11 International Thank You Day

11 Pharmacist's Day

11 National Milk Day (milk delivered in bottles for first time-1878)

12 Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day

13 Make Your Dreams Come True Day

13 Stephen Foster Memorial Day

14 National Dress Up Your Pet Day

15 Hat Day

15 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday (born 1929)

16 Hot and Spicy Food International Day

16 Religious Freedom Day

16 National Fig Newton Day

16 National Nothing Day

17 Pig Day

17 Ben Franklin's Birthday (born 1706)

18 Winnie the Pooh Day

19 National Popcorn Day

19 Archery Day

19 Robert E. Lee's Birth Anniversary (born 1807)

20 Cheese Day

20 Basketball Day 21 Hat Day

21 National Hugging Day

23 National Handwriting Day

23 National Pie Day

23 Measure Your Feet Day

24 National Peanut Butter Day

24 Eskimo Pie Patent Day (by Christian Nelson in 1922) 24 Gold
discovered in California (Sutter's Mill in 1848)

24 National School Nurse Day

25 Opposite Day

25 Observe the Weather Day

26 National Popcorn Day

26 National Peanut Brittle Day

27 National Chocolate Cake Day

27 Australia Day (the day Sydney, Australia was settled in 1778)

27 National School Nurse Day

28 National Kazoo Day

28 Bald Eagle Day

29 National Rattle Snake Roundup Day

29 National Puzzle Day

29 National Corn Chip Day

30 Escape Day

31 National Popcorn Day

31 National Backwards Day

Enjoy the chips ... buffalo

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Eve Chips
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Signs You're At A Lame New Year's Eve Party

- To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled
and pick-pocketed
- The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones
- There's a "Happy 1995" sticker on the packet of shrimp
you've been eating all night
- It's January 6th
- Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm
- The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at
10,000
- At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's
pants drop
- You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom
- The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed
with Alka Seltzer

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Cinema
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lk546k.htm

Clap Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl45j6lkj45.htm

Clean Undies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl54j6k54l.htm

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Nurse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend of mine sent this to me from where she works - apparently
these problems are universal - scary...that means there are stupid
people everywhere!! Enjoy these!

1. Don't tell me you have abdominal pain as you eat doritos in my triage
booth.

2. If you come to the ER by ambulance, the first thing I will ask you is
how
you are getting home. No, we don't have people on staff to drive you
home,
and don't tell me you don't want to "bother" one of your family members
at
this hour. You had no problem bothering 911 for the back pain you've had
for 3 months.

3. You don't get to pick your own IV site. This will irritate me and I
will
probably
miss your IV on purpose and start your site in the place I wanted to
initially
to prove a point

4. "Butterfly" is not an IV size, this word signals me to put in a
larger
bore
needle.

5. Nausea is not a reason to come to the ER. If you are not in severe
pain,
are not vomiting or pooping your pants in front of me, your butt goes
back
to
the waiting room.

6. How can you have the worst migraine of your life, but be able to yell
at
me
about the wait after you just put down a magazine you were reading?

7. Don't ever say things like, "I usually get 4 mg of Dilaudid".
Requesting
your
med and dosage will prompt me to squirt out half of the med before I
inject,
then I lie about the dose.

8. If you are allergic to Tylenol, Toradol, and Motrin, I have already
assumed
you are a drug seeker.

9. If you came to the ER having a family doctor appointment that same
day, I
will make sure you are still in the department well past the time of
your
original appointment.

10. I don't care if you are neighbors with the GI specialist. Unless he
drove
you to the ER himself, you can't be that friendly.

11. Just because, "my doctor sent me here", does not mean you get right
back to a treatment room. This tells me you are a pain in the ass, and
he's
pawning you off.

12. The louder you moan/whine, the bigger size IV needle you get.

13. Foley catheters cure pseudo-seizures. They also cure intoxicated
persons.

14. If you are on more than 2 medicines at home, bring a list. Don't
say,
"you know, the little white pill". I am not a pharmacist.

15. RN is not synonymous with waiter/waitress.

16. Don't bitch about missing breakfast when I'm on the ninth hour of my
shift
and haven't peed yet.

17. What gives you the right to complain about your sore throat for a
week
while I have diarrhea from the antibiotics I've been taking for
pneumonia?

18. Broken toes are not an emergency. We'll make you feel stupid by
putting
a little piece of tape down there and kicking you out.

19. I am currently inventing a trapdoor system in triage to be triggered
when
you say the word "toothache".

20. Cover you mouth when you cough/belch. This is just common courtesy.
When you neglect to do this, I am tempted to bust butt in your room,
then
close the door.

21. If you tell me you have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome,
know
that
I'm rolling my eyes and thinking you're a loser.

22. If you list Haldol, Geodon, Xanax, and trazadone as allergies, don't
tell me
you have no psych history.

23. Never sign in with chest pain because you were too embarrassed to
write
"penile sores" or "foul smelling discharge". This will piss me off that
I
bumped
you ahead of other people and I'll make your visit horrific.

24. Although you've been in the ER four times this week, you cannot list
the
ER doc as your family physician.

25. Do not talk to me while I'm trying to listen to your lungs.

26. Don't tell me you have no money for medicine while you have a carton
of
cigarettes in your purse (next to your cell phone), and each of your
seven
children are playing their own PSP's.

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Resolution Chips
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New Year's Resolutions For Him & Her [Him (Y) / Her (X)]

X - Lose weight / Go on a diet / Drink more water
Y - One case beer per weekend (unless having guys over or
Superbowl weekend)

X - ONLY - one chocolate bar per week
Y - ONLY - three nights at topless bar per week

X - Workout - Jog/Step Bench 5 times week
Y - Move furniture to find lost little black book and bedroom
TV remote

X - Subscribe to Shape/Fitness Magazine
Y - Call 1-800 number to get on Victoria's Secret catalog mailing
list

X - Go on romantic second date with Bob/Accounting
Y - Score on second date with Suzy/Marketing

X - Get organized/clean house
Y - Give old Penthouse mags to Goodwill (or younger brother)

X - Buy new Daily Planner
Y - Buy new little Black Book if no luck under furniture

X - Find out name of tall good-looking guy in Finance
Y - Score with tall, long-legged Blond in Finance

X - Read More / Less TV
Y - Buy Dish - More sports channels!!

X - Watch quality TV with positive messages
Y - When surfing DO NOT stop on "Allie McBeal" -EVER

X - Plan budget / Save more money
Y - Only three nights at topless bar per week

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Pet Chips
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TOP 12 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS MADE BY PETS
12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major
dog
shows.
8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to
us
when no one is around.
7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or
they'll
flush my ass.
5. Always scoot before licking.
4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much
food
is *too* much.
3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd -
December
31: Re-live victory over the sock.
1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, please include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]

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Suit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy sees his best friend on the street. The friend
is wearing a flamboyant outfit. Lime colored trousers,
a puff sleeved, lavender shirt, a puce ascot, etc...
So he asks his friend, "what in the world is wrong
with you?"

"Oh, my wife," the friend replies.

"Your wife?" queries the first guy.

"Yea. I saw an ad in the paper for Cox's Men's Store.
They were having a great sale on seersucker suits. So
I told her, go to Cox's and buy me one of those
seersucker suits. So what does she do? She goes to
Sears and buys me cocksucker suit."

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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Happy New Year ~ 2012
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/B/2012.html

Happy New Year...Flash
http://www.angel9oh7.com/nypenguin1.html

Happy New Year Cheer
http://wandascountryhome.com/newyear/cheers.html

Rick w/ A New Year's Prayer~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/NewYearPrayer.html

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Surfin Surfari

Firework Frenzy Game
http://www.miniclip.com/games/fireworks/en/

New year's Toasts
http://www.algeo.net/poetry/page25.html

Playboy Bunny Calendar!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/calendar.html

Celebrities Then And Now!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html

Yearly Friendship Renewal!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/renewal.html

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

SoYouWanna cure a hangover?
http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/hangover/hangover.html

Hangovers and Hangover Cures And Remedies
http://www.rupissed.com/hangovercures.html

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.germanshepherds.com/gallery/

Kitty Korner
http://www.felixthecat.com/

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Movie Links

Gym
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dss.htm

Handling Road Rage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nbjkk.htm

Home & Garden TV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/allka.htm

Hot Tub Mishap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjkkol.htm

How To Get A Divorce
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkhkjh.htm

McRonalds
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2wds.htm

My First Rescue
http://www.buffaloschips.com/yh.htm

Never Underestimate An Old Girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/67t.htm

Obongo 08
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iuhj8.htm

Oeufs Poussins
http://www.buffaloschips.com/trfu.htm

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Come Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Come Ons And Come Backs

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there any more.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls
you a fat slut.

Man : Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees sucking
on my cock.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in
the back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: So that's how you got that little moustache

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: No problem, I can always shoot my load up your arse.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of bitch
that's impossible to shake off once you've shagged her.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me....as long as you are still a bit
warm when I shove it in ya.

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

coca cola
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvhjkdvghdfk.htm

sexx1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mghdkflgdf.htm

big wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/,dgjdlfgfd.htm

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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aid a horny young girl from Milpitas,
"My favorite sport is coitus."
But a fullback from Ohio State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete's fetus
_________________________________

Into the hospital goes Harry Reid;
it's become a twice-daily deed.
In the past they rarely spoke
But that was before the stroke
That could rob them of their lead.
(Scott Witt)
_________________________________

In Scotland one is apt to wonder
About kilts and what goes under.
Well, soon you will know
As soldiers start to show
The result of a requisitional blunder.
(Scott Witt)

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very
thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He
approached the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.

The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"

The priest replied, "What did you say?"

The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"

The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"

The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"

Tom R.

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2133

Diana's Christmas List

Sandi: Rudy what are going to get mother for
Christmas?

Rudy: Toots? Well I guess I have not really thought
about it. I guess I could get her a book called '1001 Things
To Feed Your Dog."

Sandi: No, that would be for you Rudy, something for her.
Maybe something to make her smell nice.

Rudy: Something like a fresh-kill rabbit scent?

Sandi: No something that bi-peds like. Think about
what dad likes.

Rudy: Pops likes hooters and football games.

Sandi: No, that's not right. Okay you need my help.

Rudy: So help me.

Sandi: I would get her something dainty, like a scarf and
gloves.

Rudy: Hrumpt! Okay, I can do that. I have some in my room.

Rudy leaves and comes back.

Sandi: No, not biker gloves and not a do-rag.

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 12-29-11

Adult Adult

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
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Elf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ELF LABOR COMPLAINTS

- Must we listen to Christmas Carols all year long?

- We're tired of making Barbie Dolls, can't we make some Paris Hilton
action
dolls?

- Besides the Head Elf, nobody ever gets any promotions.

- Santa never lets us have any eggnog.

- Listening to those damned chimes makes our ears hurt.

- We hear Santa is going to outsource our jobs to Mexicans.

- How come we never get Christmas off?

- Who gets all the cookies and milk? Not us!

- Those damned reindeer keep pissing on our floor!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

License Plate
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32136.htm
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Life Savers
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Lepraconstipation
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Laughs
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I Told You
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Kiss Me I'm Irish
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Phd Chips
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"Why G~d Never Received A PhD"

1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew. (I.e. not in English)

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt He wrote it by himself.

6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.

9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry He tried to cover
it by drowning His subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.

13. Some say He had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled His first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most
of His students failed His tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountain top.

17. No record of working well with colleagues.

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Obama Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were sitting at the bar, drinking
in silence. Suddenly, Hillary turns and without warning, cold cocks
Obama, knocking him off his barstool.

After a moment Obama regains enough of his senses to say "What the
hell did you do that for?"

Clinton replies "That was for destroying the World Trade Centers!"

Barack responds "I didn't destroy the World Trade Centers. That was
Osama Bin Laden."

Clinton answers "Osama, Obama - same damn thing."

Obama shakes his head, climbs back onto his stool and continues with
his drinking. Several minutes later, he turns to Clinton and
without warning, cold cocks her and knocks her to the floor.

Getting to her knees and shaking her head to clear it, she demands
"What the hell did you do that for?"

Obama responds "That was for lying to the Grand Jury, obstructing
justice and for disgracing our country and the Office of the
President."

Clinton answers "I didn't do any of that, it was my husband Bill
Clinton."

Barack responds "Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton - same damn thing."

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Reunion Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High
School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange
to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Rachel arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of
Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After
the required ritualized kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of wine.
Then Samantha walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans
and boots. She too shares the wine.

Rachel explains that after leaving high school and graduating from
Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she
has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's
leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue,
where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a
second home in Phoenix.

Clare relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became
a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment
banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second
home in Naples,Florida .

Samantha explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her
boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in California and grow
their own vegetables. Ben can stand five parrots, side by side, on
his willy.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later,
Rachel blurts out the her husband is a cashier at Walmart. They live
in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at
a nearby storage facility.

Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty,
explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement
home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to
Alabama.

Samantha says that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shipwreck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical
island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then
one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes
half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood.

He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for
clams, and eating fruits and berries.

She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"

He says, "Love? What's that?"

She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again.
Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally done, she
says, "Well, how do you like love?"

He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/New Music(Country)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/Co/Cu.html

How To become a Christian
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/HowToBecomeAChristian.htm

Gift From the Heart
http://www.carolspoetry.com/heart.html

Answer to a Child's Prayer (Sequel to above poem)
http://www.carolspoetry.com/childs.html

Last Day
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/lastday.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

When Sandman Attacks
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman.html

Christmas CAN CAN
http://tinyurl.com/yab2zq6

Santa Election
http://tinyurl.com/chsdbnx

Dogs Saying Grace Before Meals
http://www.dogwork.com/prybrme8/

Hilltop: A Kids View Of The Christmas Story
http://tinyurl.com/cpkhtu3

Kid-Friendly Winter Activities
http://www.ivillage.com/winter-activities-kids/6-b-317446

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Javascript Tutorial
http://www.pageresource.com/jscript/index.html

FTP Tutorial
http://www.pageresource.com/putweb/ftptut1.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Amazing Dog Houses
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.pbase.com/oregon2u/cats

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Fanfare
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakjkas.htm

Final Call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/askla.htm

Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saasjka.htm

Girls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skal.htm

Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skksls.htm

Kitty Is In Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/87y5r.htm

Kiwi Bacon Mmmm!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/43r.htm

Loafing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5r5.htm

Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7y.htm

Lundi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8uh.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Elway goes to Heaven Vs Brett Favre

John Elway, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded
Broncos flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, John,"
said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
John felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.

On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the
corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Green and Gold sidewalk, a 50
foot tall flagpole with an enormous Packers logo flag, and in every
window, a Cheesehead! John looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying
to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2
Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what do
you want to know, John?" "Well, why does Brett Favre get a better house
than me?"

God chuckled and said "John, that's not Brett Favre's house, it's
mine.!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Must You Wear Curlers Every Night?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32139.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32139.htm "> Here!</a>

Mouse Pad For Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32138.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32138.htm "> Here!</a>

Michael Jackson Evidence
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32137.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32137.htm "> Here!</a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
_________________________________________

There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager,
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
_________________________________________

There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring
cut off his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket
and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep.

Which is worse?
1) having your mistress find out you're married.
2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2132

Val's Christmas Wish List

Rudy: Val what do you want for Christmas?

Val: A new bouncy ball.

Katie: You must want more than that. How about food?

Val: Just a new bouncy ball.

Sandi: How about a chew toy?

Val: Just a new bouncy ball.

Katie: This is un-american. You must ask for a lot. How
about a portable DVD player?

Val: A new bouncy ball will be fine.

Rudy: How about a new sweater?

Val: Sigh, to make me happy, really happy, you know
what I would really like?

Sandi/Rudy/Katie: What?

Val: A new bouncy ball.

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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[buffalos-adult-chips] hips For 12-27-11

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Welcome to a new week. I had a great Christmas, beginning with
Eva getting up at 0730 in the mood to rip into her presents, so as
soon as Sandy and Buffy were up I started snapping pictures.
She took hours to open everything, oohing and ahing over each one
and opening all of the little parts for each gift. To make matters worse
they seem to find new ways each year to fasten the toys to their cases
and you need knives, scissors, pliers and screwdrivers to get everything
out. Anyhow Eva was pretty impressed by her presents and has been
spending a lot more time in her room playing than before Christmas
which is giving everyone a break. I spent the rest of the day eating
and enjoying television and just sitting with the family. I figured I
owed them a little bit of attention in return for all of the help they
gave me during the month when I couldn't leave my room. Anyhow the
jokes here are the ones I had ready for Christmas along with some
leftover links to wrap the holiday up with. Today will also be our last
day
ad-free. I wish I could find a way to be totally ad-free everyday but
there are still things like the website that Jordan has to pay for and
as he is struggling to keep Nancy's house he can't afford them out
of pocket.

Happy New Year to all and enjoy the chips... buffalo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Exam Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a redneck father and son who were always in competition
with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a
university. He wanted to major in medicine.

A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the
dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his father. "They asked quite a
lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff.
I
got a score of 75%. It wasn't
good enough to get accepted," the boy replied. "Well in that I better
take that exam myself," the father said. So off to the university he
went.

A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the
dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his son. "They asked quite a lot
of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got all
wrong but one." "Gee, Dad.
Which question was that?"

"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you
come across a lady which has fainted. You feel her pu_s_?"
"That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse."
"Oh, hell", said the father, " I got that one wrong as well."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bud Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three men are walking down the street. One is from California, one is
from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.

A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California states "She's
about an 8."

The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."

The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."

The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other and
say, "Well, she was not that good looking."

All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.

The man from California exclaims "9"

The man from New York cries "8.5"

The man from St. Louis says "2"

The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all
types."

Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.

The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"

The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"

The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell is
wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"

The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the Budweiser
method."

The man from California asks "What is that?"

The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alumni Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a somewhat enforced term of government employment at a very
unacceptable. but non negotiable, salary, I decided to pursue a college
degree to improve any future financial rewards available for the use my
personal services. After discharge from my Uncle Sam's care, It was
apparent that he obviously felt some guilt over screwing me over for the
past few years and reluctantly agreed to help fund my matriculation at a
local college. I graduated from the school, with luck and a definite
degree of sacrifice Trying to balance study, partying, many part time
jobs, partying, standing in line trying to justify my right to claim
unemployment dollars as I could not find anyone looking to hire a 50
caliber machine gun operator. partying, plus my social service volunteer
work, helping available nubile female students pass their human
sexuality classes, and imbibing at parties, it was amazing that I
survived. I really never felt any allegiance to the school itself. Once
I was outta that particular pile of bricks, I harbored no particular
desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive, join any alumni
associations or attend any athletic events. But sure enough, a few years
later, someone in the Alumni Affairs staff called my parents, and
tracked down my current phone number and called. "So, what have you
been doing with yourself?" the perky alumnus inquired. I responded, "Oh,
not a lot. Just hot wiring and stealing cars, running a little moonshine
on the side, when I'm not running a few hookers ." Needless to say, I
haven't heard from them again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 12 Days AFTER Christmas

Part the First

The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

Part the Second

On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake and turned my fingers green.

Part the Third

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.

On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

Part the Fourth

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing
ladies -
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While working in an OB-GYN clinic, a young mother came in for a
scheduled appointment requesting a diaphragm. She had her ten year
old son with her. My friend suggested she might like to ask her son
to wait for her in the lobby, when the young mother stated, "Oh, no.
I need him to see the doctor today. You see, Johnny is taking voice
lessons. His voice coach says he can have Johnny singing from his
diaphragm in no time, and I figured if that was the case, we'd
better get him one fast before the insurance runs out!"

The United Brethren church in Parsons, Kansas was having a program,
and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head
out the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in
church and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The
other members insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what
it was called in the Bible. One person reminded her of the story
about Jesus riding an ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about
her line right up until the fateful day of the program. When her
turn came, she stood up in front of the congregation and said, "The
donkey stuck his ass out the window and brayed."

"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man
traveling in her compartment. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.
"Goodness!"
said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/New Christmas Music
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ch_Mu/Christ.html

Melva/A Most Inconvenient Christmas
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Most.htm

Rick w/ Christmas~A Silent Night~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/ChristSilentNight.html

Avery Winter
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/videos/Avery_Winter.htm

Presence Of Jehovah
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/videos/PresenceOfJehovah.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Why Me? Moments!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html

Proud Of Our Troops 6
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops6.html

Windows Through Time!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/windowstime.html

Ice Hotel!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

DNS Stuff
http://www.dnsstuff.com/

Regassassin
http://www.malwarebytes.org/regassassin.php

Malwarebytes' Web site
http://www.malwarebytes.org/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.militaryworkingdogadoptions.com/

Kitty Korner
http://www.thecatgallery.com/funny_cat_tricks.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm

Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm

Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm

Worst Best Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uiygtyutf5.htm

Yellow Snow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvfrtd6.htm

Funny Stuff
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sadfswa.htm

German Coast Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm

Gun Control
http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm

How Aliens Fish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm

Idiot 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DNA Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not satisfied with the results he got from his
family doctor, a balding man sought out an
alternative treatment for his hair loss. A friend
referred him to a scientist who had been testing
a chemical that showed great promise.

Within a week after taking the recommended dosage,
a heavy growth of hair appeared on the bald man's
scalp. He was very happy at first, but soon became
alarmed when hair began to grow uncontrollably all
over his body.

After two weeks, he returned to see the scientist.
"What the hell did you give me?" he demanded. "It
was DNA from a Woolly Mammoth."

"Aha!" exclaimed the man. "That would explain the
size of my balls!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm

Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm

Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm

bush chenney
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kghdfkhfkgjhglhk.htm

bush pee
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnvx,,,xmkvjgfd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must sieze it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."
_______________________

Some gentlemen born under Aries
Are likely to go by contraries.
They're apt to ignore
The sweet girl next door
And feel much attracted to fairies.
_______________________

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who noticed her lovers were few;
So she walked out her door
With a fig leaf, no more,
And now she's in bed -- with the flu!

Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the
backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there
stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said
that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When
he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said
there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if
he could be next.

The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that
I've never fucked a cop before!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2131

Rudy's Christmas List

Sandi: So what do you want for Christmas Rudy?

Rudy: You know me, a warm fire, my girl cuddled up to me
Would do fine.

Sandi blushes..

Katie: How about a six pack?

Rudy: Well that would be okay.

Val: How about a steak?

Rudy: I would not say no to that either.

Sandi: I could make you some cookies.

Rudy: COOKIES!! I love cookies.

Sandi: Especially the sugar ones, I know the ones you like.

Rudy drooling: Yeah, my girl knows me really well.

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783