[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 9-30-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Nancy ( Brabant ) Cantafio, 48, of Soo Township severed the last
bonds holding her to this world on Sept 27, 2010 in Hospice Care at
Hearthside Assisted Living Center in Sault.Ste. Marie, after
fighting an amazing battle with cancer.

Nancy was born in 1962, in Sault Ste Marie Michigan to Francis and
Margaret Brabant and was the seventh of ten children and the
youngest daughter. She attended and graduated from Soo Township
Elementary School and Sault High School. She moved to Horicon,
Wisconsin where she received certifications in Culinary Arts and
Computer Sciences.

While in Wisconsin, Nancy met Joseph Cantafio and had three sons;
Jordan, Francis and Joey. Nancy returned to Sault Ste Marie in 1997
and just prior to Joe's death and purchased the property next to her
childhood home, first living in a trailer and later purchasing a
modular home on the site. This home was destroyed by fire in 2005
then Nancy and her family and friends proceeded to build a nicer
home on the site from scratch.

Nancy's latest job was as a cook at the Cozy Inn in Brimley,
Michigan and prior to that she was the third shift foreperson at
Wohlert Special Products and a CNC Machinist. She also ran an
Inspirational Group and a Computer Help Group on YahooGroups that
had approximately 7500 readers between them. While juggling work,
her online groups and just life in general she always had time for
her sons and her family.

Nancy is survived by her three sons, Jordan, Francis and Joseph
Cantafio and one grandchild Khloe.

She is also survived by five brothers, William, Donald, Robert,
Ronald, and Douglas and three sisters, Cathy, Lisa, and Mary. Nancy
also had a dog, a teddy bear named Jordy, that was at her side
through her illness.

Nancy was predeceased by her husband Joseph, her daughter Lydia, her
brother Patrick, and her parents Margaret and Francis.

Nancy has requested that her body be donated to Michigan State
University to aid in the research of cancer with her cremains to be
buried at a future date in the Raco Cemetery alongside her daughter.

A memorial service is planned to start at 4 p.m. on Saturday,
October 2nd at Soo Township Hall. There will be a remembrance
followed by a meal.

The family would like to thank Hospice, Hearthside Assisted Living,
and the owner, co-workers, and friends at the Cozy Inn who provided
comfort and assistance to Nancy and the family through her final
days.

Obituary and Guest Book are located at
http://tinyurl.com/2chyjlp

A letter I really enjoyed

Buff, First off, condolences on the loss of your sister.

When my dad died, having been a bit of a gypsy, and having
no ties with any particular part of Canada, it was left to me to
decide the fate of his ashes. Your statement concerning your remains
being committed to the Pacific deeps, has a familiar ring to it. As
I was posted to a tanker (H.M.C.S. Protecteur, AOR 509) for transit
to Victoria B.C from Halifax N.S. I took dads ashes with me on the
trip. Before we entered the Panama Canal, along with the onboard
Padre, sprinkled half the ashes into the Atlantic and on completion
of the transit sprinkled the rest into the Pacific. He had sailed
both and was now near whenever I was at sea either West or East
coast. I always took a moment on deck after a night watch to visit
and share a few words with the old pirate. Here's hoping your family
understands the request to be sent away on the waves. After all, "A
sailors place is in a ship, a ships place is at sea and land is
nothing but a navigational hazard". "Fair winds and a following sea"
to you and yours.Don in Nova Scotia, 32 years in "the mob".

buffalo says Thanks for both you and your dad's service Don, you
understand my thoughts exactly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teeter Hang Ups EP-650 inversion table offers a relaxing and
rejuvenating whole-body decompression solution that helps restore
youthful function to your weight-bearing joints so you can move
better and feel better. Relax and enjoy the deep stretch that only
inversion therapy offers. Youll find natural relief in the
convenience of your own home, in only a few minutes a day!

Target Your Back Pain and Joint Health:
Rehydrates Discs
Reduces Nerve Pressure
Realigns Your Spine
Relaxes Tense Muscles
Improves Joint Flexibility & Function

Start Your 30 Day In-Home Trial For Only $14.95!

http://buffaloschips.com/teeter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Political Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southern Republican? With
elections coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test
that may help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between a Democrat, a
Republican and a Southern Republican?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing
the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends
for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer: BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter's voice, "Nice
grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Ernie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q028.html

jackhammer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q029.html

Millie loved seafood
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q030.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tornado Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The new categories:

Category 1: "Wussy." Street signs blow over, bushes and shrubs are
damaged, housecats meow slightly more loudly. Plan for these storms
by duct taping your shrubs, kicking the cat, and shaking your fist
triumphantly at Mother Nature for throwing such a weak-ass storm at
you.

Category 2: "Mildly Alarming." Houses moan, some of the sicker
looking trees may fall over, shingles blow off, small children
complain.
Planning: duct tape all the sick trees you may have on your
property, as well as duct taping X-es on your windows. This lets the
wind know not to blow the glass in. Purchase bottled water, before
everyone else snaps it up.

Category 3: "Deeply Frightening." Houses collapse, mobile homes
cease to exist in any normal functioning sense of the word, dogs
fart explosively, healthy trees surrender. Planning: duct tape
everything on your property, including the dog. Buy plywood and nail
it over the
windows-- after first duct taping X-es over the glass. Purchase
bottled water and bleach. This is so if it looks like you're going
to die, you can add the bleach to the water and drink it.

Category 4: "Holy Shit." Buildings fall, cars fly through the air,
walls bleed, large sea mammals are carried several miles inland,
entire regions disappear completely. Planning: Cover your entire
house with duct tape X-es to try and fool the hurricane into
thinking the whole place is a gigantic window. Nail as much wood as
you can find to the outside of the duct tape. Lock yourself and your
family and your farting dog in the basement with the bottled water
and bleach, and maybe some canned goods, a portable generator, and a
gun to ward off looters in the apocalyptic aftermath that is sure to
follow.

Category 5: "The End Of The World." All trace of humanity is picked
up several yards into the air and converted into bite-sized pieces,
the Biblical leviathan surfaces from the depths, hell rises up and
swallows mankind whole.
Planning: screw the duct tape. Get into the basement and make peace
with your god. Whomever He, She or It may be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superfood Recipes For Diabetics

Are you a Diabetic, struggling with your diet? These Superfoods have
been specially selected to help you beat Diabetes.

Get Yours Now! - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:

http://buffaloschips.com/sufood

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I highly doubt this is true, but it's a funny read. This is
apparently a true story which occurred very recently in the Telecom
Call Centre in Lower Hutt.

The Operative received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried
Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance.
The call went like this:

Telecom: How may we help you?

Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she
think I haffing an affair!

Telecom: Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?

Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and
my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard
of her before. I need to trace these calls please.

Telecom: Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually
tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.

Customer: This one is.

Telecom: What phone do you have, Sir?

Customer: A mobile. I tell you this.

Telecom: No, Sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?

Customer: An erection.

After a moment's silence, the gallant Telecom worker continued.

Telecom: Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?

Customer: For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. Erection.

Another moment's silence from Telecom, and suddenly the penny
dropped.

Telecom: Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?

Customer: For sure. C..E..L..L..U..L..A...R. Salulah.
The end of the conversation was unfortunately not reported.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Auto warranty no obligation quote.

Get the extra protection you and your family need on
the road right here:


Cover most vehicle with less than 125,000 miles and
less than 10 years old.

Also includes:

- 24-Hour Roadside Assistance

- Car Rental Benefits.

- Trip Interruption Benefit.

- Extended Towing Benefits

Go here for details:

http://buffaloschips.com/autowa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She
picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell
you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of older
people buy cat food to eat, and the government requires proof that
you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back
to the store, and they sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the
cashier demanded proof that she had a dog, because older people
sometimes eat dog food.

She went home and brought in her dog, and they sold her dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid, and asked
the cashier to stick her finger in the hole but the cashier refused,
saying "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady
assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and
exclaimed, "That smells like crap." The little old lady said, "It
is. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sweetest Day is October 17th.
Order personalized Sweetest Day Gifts they'll love!

Photo Frames
Keepsakes
Romantic Gifts
Apparel & More!

To shop now, please visit the link below:

(Copy and paste the URL listed above if link does not appear)

http://buffaloschips.com/swee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blond Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mid-level Blond executive was so frustrated at being passed over
for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a
brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.

After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by
the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.

"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this
procedure can be really expensive."

"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's
brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an
economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate
president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain
is seventy-five thousand dollars."

"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain?
Why on earth is that?"

"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we
would have to kill to get an ounce?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why Do You NEED a Fridge Locker?

Because we all know the feeling... You're hungry for the
delicious snack and the refreshing beverage that are waiting for you
in the fridge. But when you open the door the shelves are empty...

Keep your Food Safe from "Refrig-A Raiders" at Home, Dorm or
the Office with the Original Personal Food Security System,
The Fridge Locker.

http://buffaloschips.com/frlock

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Gary Matthews ~The Healer
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav/Gary.html

Thoughts For today
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thoughts.html

The Wild Ones
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildones.html

Fathers Love Letter
http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Love-Dad.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

http://buffaloschips.com/scoop

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

ACTOR TONY CURTIS DIES AT LAS VEGAS HOME
http://deathbeeper.com/5843021.html

Cookie Recipes From The Old World Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/38am2b9

The Easy Way To Build Your Vocabulary
http://www.vocabsushi.com/

Online Cell Phone Radiation Chart
http://www.ewg.org/cellphoneradiation

Paint Your House - Online !
http://tinyurl.com/yagf6pn

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

What To o If Your Email Account Is Stolen Via Martha
http://tinyurl.com/3xlhzhl

Email Address to Image Converter
http://tinyurl.com/c3ehu

Run Traceroute Online
http://www.just-traceroute.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

http://buffaloschips.com/date

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.akardsanatolianshepherds.com/

DOG HOUSE PUZZLE
http://www.riversongs.com/Flas/today.swf

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.

You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.

Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.

Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

http://buffaloschips.com/restore

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Concert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90912.htm

Hospital
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90913.htm

Plane Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90914.htm

Romantic Dinner
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90915.htm

Amnesty Bills
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90911.htm

Beer Fridge
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9261.htm

Best Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9262.htm

Big Screen TV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9263.htm

Bike Meets Post
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9264.htm

Billiards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9265.htm

Black Diamond Cheese
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9266.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Ladies at Lunch

Jill: Did you make any New Year's Resolutions?

Mary: I certainly did! I resolved to be celibate.

Jill: How's it going?

Mary: Great! I haven't had a decent date in eight years anyway

Linda was complaining to Jill that her husband was a great tosser
and turner, and was forever squeezing her on to the edge of the bed
or rolling over and taking the blankets.

Jill said that she never had a problem with her husband John. He
just falls asleep on his side and stays there all night."

"Hows he do that?" Linda asked.

Jill replied, "He has a built in kick stand."

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a
man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!!
2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Two older men sat on a bench in the park. One said, "I hear that
eating raw oysters puts lead in your pencil."

The other man said, "I don't like raw oysters, and to tell you the
truth, I don't have any women to write to!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How to
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41042.htm

In Heaven
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41046.htm

Raise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41047.htm

Today's Winner
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32149.htm

Fuck The Farmers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32150.htm

Death By Viagra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32151.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kick your cookouts up a notch with the Grill Glove! The Grill Glove
resists temperatures up to 500F with built-in flame detection
technology. The five finger design is perfect for easy flipping on
any grill.

Order the Grill Glove today for only $14.99 + S&H and as a bonus,
well give you a SECOND Grill Glove absolutely FREE! Plus for
handling hot pans & dishes were going to include the Lava Mitt for
FREE!

Order today - limited time offer!

http://buffaloschips.com/grglov

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
This little piggy went wee, wee, wee and bought some Depends
disposable undergarments to solve that problem.

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And his winter wasn't bad either.

Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
So she is suing the test tube lab.

Fuzzy
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bare,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy was arrested for indecent exposure and is now serving
time in the state pen.

Garden
Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow,
Spraying pesticides and herbicides all down the row?

Bridge
London Bridge is in Arizona, Arizona, Arizona.,
London Bridge is in Arizona, as a tourist trap.

Peter
Peter, Peter wife beater
Had a wife and used to beat her,
'Till she shot him with a shot gun shell,
And sent that bastard straight to hell.
Then she sold the movie rights.
It's now a mini series on Tuesday nights.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The YoshiBlade is made from diamond hard Zirconium Oxide, which is
40% stronger than steel.
This new ceramic knife is guaranteed to stay sharp for life. This
will be the last knife you will
ever need to buy.

Limited time offer so act now.

Click the link below for more information:

http://buffaloschips.com/yobl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After six years of trying to start a family, a couple was finally
blessed with the birth of its first child. The wife told her
husband to put an announcement in the local paper. When he returned
from the newspaper office, she asked him what details he had
included. "Just the name, address and date," he said.

"How much did it cost?"

"About six hundred and eighty dollars," he replied.

"Why so much?" the stunned woman exclaimed.

"Well, after I wrote out the announcement, the clerk asked me how
many insertions, and I said four times a week for six years."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd like to personally invite you to be a part of the most
comprehensive diabetes community on the web.

DiabeticConnect.com was designed by people who understand what it's
like to deal with the challenges of living with diabetes every day.

We've made it easy to:

Share recipes, advice, and product reviews

Read the latest diabetes news

Watch informative diabetes videos

Connect with new friends who understand diabetes

http://buffaloschips.com/dibcon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1883

Sabre and Sabers

Rudy: What is the next event Pops?

BJ: Sword dancing.

Rudy: That sounds kind of girlie to me.

Diana: It is not so much as you think Rudy.
It is fast paced and requires much daring do.

Katie: I bet I can do it.

Sandi: I will sit this one out.

BJ: Wise move.

They watch the experienced dancers weave their way in
and out of the complicated saber dance. Their feet just missing the
sword points.

Rudy: Gulp! I think I will sit this one out.

Katie: I will try.

Soon the crowd is clapping in time to the music as Katie is dancing
between and around the swords and after she is done, she is offered
a flask of Irish drink.

Well done! Shouts the crowd.

BJ: It is her nervous system. She moves so fast.

The Herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 


Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us.
We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately,
we don't get it until the time is right.
~O G Browning

 

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM:
THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
A recent joint study conducted by the Department
of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles
indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol
related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused
by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks,
juices, yogurts, and shit like that. Therefore,
beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They
cause twice as many accidents.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________

THE COMICS

next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q020.html

er trauma
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q021.html

remote control
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q022.html

cute
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q023.html

baby's menu
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q024.html

face to face with ancient history
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q025.html

phone accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q026.html

women's liberation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q027.html

Ernie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q028.html

jackhammer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q029.html

Millie loved seafood
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q030.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Laurel and Hardy meet Santana
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/193.html

redneck bus jump
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/194.html

Too Hop To Handle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/195.html

good kick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/196.html

leaf blower
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/197.html

the New York lottery
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/198.html
______________

 

POWER POINT DISPLAYS

bars in Ireland
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd417.html

Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd418.html

Panama Canal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd419.html

A woman went to the gynecologist, and when
asked what was the problem, she responded, "Well,
whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."
Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked,
"Your nipples get hard?"
"Yes," quite innocently came her reply.
"Undress so I can check," replied the still amazed
doc. So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling
and massaging, trying to reach an answer.
After some considerable time, the doctor, still looking
puzzled, said, "Well, madame, I don't know what you have,
but it's sure as hell contagious!"
___________

Farmer Gossman goes to the vet and says, "My horse
is constipated."The vet says, "Take one of these pills,
put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's
ass, and blow the pill up there."Farmer Gossman comes back
the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says,
"What happened?"
Farmer Gossman says, "The horse blew first."
_________________

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The
Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over
and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few
moments, the  woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' smiled the woman. 'So you're single...?'
______________

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town
in Ireland . One day he was walking down the high street
when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting
in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy!
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat
down next to the woman. "Miss Fitzgerald," he said sternly
- "This is no place for a member of my congregation.
Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure!" she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to
weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd
had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady
her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled
to the floor. After a few moments, the Reverend wound up on
top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oy mate, we won't
have any of that carrying on in this pub."
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you
don't understand. I'm Pastor Fluff."
The landlord said, "Ah well, if you're that far in,
ye might as well finish."
____________

A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. 
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have
to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

BUFFALO BILL

Good Spanking
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42515.htm

No screwing in public restrooms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42516.htm

Work For head
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42517.htm

Wicked Picture
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42518.htm
________

FUN PAGES

Crazy Flasher 3
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41919&s=n

Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n

Golf-Ignorant Girlfriend
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=5638&s=n

Table Soccer Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38555&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 


 



__._,_.___


*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
  or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
  PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
  PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
  (Follow instructions)




Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 9-29-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

When my mom was killed in a car accident in 2009, she was
unable to attend her own funeral. The funeral home shipped
the ashes via the Postal Service by Second Day Air and they
took five days to arrive. We later found out that there is no
guarantee of delivery in two days but that doesn't help when you
have 200-300 people showing up to say good by and they want
and object to focus their thoughts on. The sisters went out and
bought a vase and with a stopper and a few baubles hot glued
to it, it looked like the high end item from a funeral home catalog.
To give it some weight in case somebody lifted it, they placed
a large bag of blueberry muffin mix. No one new the truth at the
memorial service and funeral except the family and the priest.
When mom's ashes arrived there was a graveside service by
the priest and her ashes were buried in the urn her daughters
had built and the bag of muffin mix went with Mary to Wisconsin.

We are now faced with a similar problem as Nancy's ashes
won't be available for 1 to 36 months depending on what MSU
has planned for her. It may be research or just training students
on the effects of kidney cancer but it is what she wanted. There
is a memorial service planned for Saturday and it has already
been suggested to have an urn with a bag of muffin mix to
represent her. I guess this is how family traditions begin and
I don't mind if they have an urn sitting around with a bag of
nut bar mix in it for all I care but my real ashes or body better be

at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean or I will be one restless spirit

I have read thru hundreds of emails from friends of Nancy and I am
compiling them all into a file for her sons to read. I know I have a
lot
of close friends on the internet so I wasn't surprised at the number
of friends that Nancy had but more with the amount of time she
spent with them. Nancy truly compressed a lifetime or more of living

into her short life.

Enjoy the chips. buffalo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teeter Hang Ups EP-650 inversion table offers a relaxing and
rejuvenating whole-body decompression solution that helps restore
youthful function to your weight-bearing joints so you can move
better and feel better. Relax and enjoy the deep stretch that only
inversion therapy offers. Youll find natural relief in the
convenience of your own home, in only a few minutes a day!

Target Your Back Pain and Joint Health:
Rehydrates Discs
Reduces Nerve Pressure
Realigns Your Spine
Relaxes Tense Muscles
Improves Joint Flexibility & Function

Start Your 30 Day In-Home Trial For Only $14.95!

http://buffaloschips.com/teeter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Falcon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Falcon Codes - a numerical code used to indicate ones displeasure or
to pass a rude comment over the radio or messages.

801 You've got to be shitting me.
802 Get off my f---ing back.
803 Beats the shit out of me.
804 What the f---.
805 I hate this f---ing place.
806 It's so f---ing bad, I can't believe it.
807 This place sucks.
808 F--- you very much.
809 Lovely, simply f---ing lovely.
810 That damn club.
811 Beautiful, just f---ing beautiful.
812 F---, shit, piss.
813 Hair pie, fur burgers.
814 I just got screwed.
815 Big f---ing deal.
816 Hang it in your ear.
817 Get bent.
818 DILLIGAS (Do I Look Like I Give A Shit?).
819 I don't give a shit.
820 Merry F---ing Christmas.
821 F--- it, just f--- it.
822 Hot shit.
823 Bitching.
824 Tell someone who gives a shit.
825 Don't get f---ing wise.
826 I don't give a f---.
827 Pardon me, sir, you obviously mistook me for someone who gives a
shit.
828 I didn't design the f---ing thing. I just bought the f---ing
thing.
829 Your ass sucks wind.
830 It won't f---ing work.
831 Go pound sand up your ass.
832 F--- off.
833 Who called this f---ing meeting.
834 FUBAR (F---ed Up Beyond All Repair).
835 Unf---ing Believable.
836 Adios mother f---er.
837 F--- you.
838 No shit.
839 No f---ing shit.
840 Go to hell.
841 Ho, f---ing, ho.
900 Cool it.
902 I'm free this weekend.
903 Take your time. I don't want to be stuck with this ass for
lunch.
904 Help me dump this mother.
905 Let's ball at lunch.
906 I'm free tonight.
907 Tied up with wife/husband tonight.
908 Call me at home to come back to work.
909 Call back later. My wife/husband is listening.
910 Let's take off sick together.
911 Meet you at the motel.
912 Let's snag them for tonight.
913 Can't do better for now. At least they'll be a fill in.
914 Let's trade balling partners.
915 Is he/she available?
916 Muddy field. Couldn't play.
917 SNEAK (Situation Normal All Fucked Up).
918 Bullshit.
919 This frigging thing.
920 Tall boy day.
921 Joint session.
922 You pecker.
923 Cocks---er.
924 Plain obscene.
925 Nice ass.
926 If you can't take a joke, f--- ya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

behind my back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q016.html

mingle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q017.html

true self
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q018.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translated Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Japanese guy was working for this Indian guy in Los Angeles who
would constantly put him down? All the Japanese guy would do when he
was insulted, would be to bow and say, "This morning, every
morning."

Another putdown, and again, "This morning, every morning."

This went on week after week.

A Chinese guy who was watching got sick and tired of it. He went to
the Japanese guy and berated him, saying, "That Indian guy is
insulting you and all you do is bow and say, 'This morning, every
morning.' Why don't you talk back?"

The Japanese guy said, "I am talking back."

The Chinese asked incredulously, "You're talking back? Where do you
get that?"

"I'm talking American, but I'm thinking Japanese," said the Japanese
employee.

The Chinese asks, "What do you mean by that?"

The Japanese guy asks, "How do you say 'This morning' in Japanese?"

The Chinese thought, and finally answered, "Kessa."

Then the Japanese fella asked him, "How do you say 'Every morning'
in Japanese?"

"Mai assa," the Chinese fellow replied.

"Well??" the Japanese guy answered.

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superfood Recipes For Diabetics

Are you a Diabetic, struggling with your diet? These Superfoods have
been specially selected to help you beat Diabetes.

Get Yours Now! - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:

http://buffaloschips.com/sufood

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells
her
husband:

"Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?"

I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing
the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put
the prisoner in the prison"

And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the
bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband:

"Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!"

The guy not very delighted tells her:

"Lets put him into the prison another time!!"

And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells
him:

"!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!"

The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal.

And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and
the girl
says:

"!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!"

And he answers with his last breath:

"HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Auto warranty no obligation quote.

Get the extra protection you and your family need on
the road right here:


Cover most vehicle with less than 125,000 miles and
less than 10 years old.

Also includes:

- 24-Hour Roadside Assistance

- Car Rental Benefits.

- Trip Interruption Benefit.

- Extended Towing Benefits

Go here for details:

http://buffaloschips.com/autowa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moron Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did the little moron move to the city?
Because he heard the country might go to war.

One little moron asked another little moron: Did you just take a
shower? Second little moron: Why, is one missing?

Why does the little moron keep running around her bed?
He is trying to catch up with her sleep.

Why does the little moron save burned-out light bulbs?
So he can use them in his darkroom.

Why did the little moron say when they told her she was putting a
saddle on backwards? How do you know which way I'm going.

Why did the little moron go to night school?
So she could learn to read in the dark.

Why did the little moron put a chicken in a tub of hot water? So
she'd lay hard-boiled eggs.

Why did the little moron stand on his head in the kitchen?
He was making an upside down cake.

Why did the little moron through the clock out the window? Because
she wanted to see if time could fly.

Why did the little moron shoot the alarm clock?
Because he felt like killing time.

Why did the little moron decide to collect clocks and watches?
Because he heard that time was so valuable.

Why did the little moron give her chickens double martinis to drink?
She wanted to have stewed chicken for dinner.

How did the correspondence school instruction know when the little
moron was playing hookey? The little moron would send her empty
envelopes.

Why did the little moron spray his apartment with DDT?
He heard that it might be bugged.

Why does the little moron wet his favorite shirt before putting it
on? The label says, "Wash and wear."

Why did the little moron jump out his second story window last April
first? To try out her new Spring suit!

Why did the little moron run into Wall Street with a basket?
He heard the dollar was dropping.

Why does the little wear a life jacket at night?
Because he sleeps on a waterbed.

Why did the little moron ask her father to sit in the refrigerator?
She wanted ice cold pop.

Why did the little moron want to be a n electrician?
To get a charge out of life.

Why did the little moron cut a hole in the rug?
So she could see the floor show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sweetest Day is October 17th.
Order personalized Sweetest Day Gifts they'll love!

Photo Frames
Keepsakes
Romantic Gifts
Apparel & More!

To shop now, please visit the link below:

(Copy and paste the URL listed above if link does not appear)

http://buffaloschips.com/swee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The Newspaper Ad"

(The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared
four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the
first day's mistake.)

MONDAY: For Sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone
948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him
cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday.
It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone
948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."

WEDNESDAY: Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received
several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the
classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale
--
R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707
after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who loves with him."

THURSDAY: Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale! I
smashed it! . . Don't call 948-0707 . . I have had the phone
disconnected! I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly! . . Until
yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why Do You NEED a Fridge Locker?

Because we all know the feeling... You're hungry for the
delicious snack and the refreshing beverage that are waiting for you
in the fridge. But when you open the door the shelves are empty...

Keep your Food Safe from "Refrig-A Raiders" at Home, Dorm or
the Office with the Original Personal Food Security System,
The Fridge Locker.

http://buffaloschips.com/frlock

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Mountain Tops
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/C/Mo.html

AUTUMN COLORS Via Juanita
http://asandboxgreeting.com/autumncolors.html

Carol w/Gift From The Heart
http://www.carolspoetry.com/heart.html

My Joy
http://www.poetryinfocus.com/Poetry/Poem045.html

In The Pink
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inthepink.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

http://buffaloschips.com/scoop

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Bomber Command Museum
http://www.bombercommandmuseum.ca/

Low Income Heat Programs
http://liheap.ncat.org/

Segway Company Owner Dies after driving off a cliff
http://basicstory.com/segway-owner-dies-after-falling-off-a-cliff/13
5509/

Moon Photography Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonart.html

World's Fastest Cars
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/fastcars.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Web-tv Codes
http://www.wtv-zone.com/angel-eyes-34/keys/1codelinks.html

Halloween Stencils
http://www.hersheys.com/trickortreats/activities/stencils.asp

Google Data Backup Guide Via Wesley
http://www.dataliberation.org/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

http://buffaloschips.com/date

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.allegrohuskies.com/husky_tymica.html

Doggie Zone
http://www.homesteadpoodles.com/index.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.

You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.

Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.

Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

http://buffaloschips.com/restore

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Benny Hill Wishing Well
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9201.htm

Be Quiet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9202.htm

Best Casino Ad Ever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9203.htm

Best First Dance At A Wedding
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9204.htm

Best Video Of The Year
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9206.htm

CCR Lorraine
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1236.htm

Cell Phone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1237.htm

Chick Em
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1238.htm

Child Proof Drawer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1239.htm

Children Fire Alarms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/12310.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calling on an attractive coed, the theology professor asked, "Who
was the first man?"

"If it's all the same to you, sir," replied the embarrassed coed,
"I'd rather not tell."

While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out
peanuts and cokes to everyone.

There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance
to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot
that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were
first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up.

Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your
drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off".

Jill was using a power strip to plug her computer and
other devices into. Windows was completely frozen, and
she was unable to shut down
the machine by using the power button. She phoned for computer help
and mentioned the power strip to tech support.

The tech told her to flip it off.

Jill said, "Ok, I gave it the finger. I feel much better. Now what
do I do?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ride a Fat Boy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42513.htm

Bum Fuck Egypt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42514.htm

Good Spanking
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42515.htm

No screwing in public restrooms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42516.htm

Work For head
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42517.htm

Wicked Picture
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42518.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kick your cookouts up a notch with the Grill Glove! The Grill Glove
resists temperatures up to 500F with built-in flame detection
technology. The five finger design is perfect for easy flipping on
any grill.

Order the Grill Glove today for only $14.99 + S&H and as a bonus,
well give you a SECOND Grill Glove absolutely FREE! Plus for
handling hot pans & dishes were going to include the Lava Mitt for
FREE!

Order today - limited time offer!

http://buffaloschips.com/grglov
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's try it this new way," said Jack
As he winked at the girl in the sack.
She turned and she grunted,
"I should be affronted,
But this time I'm taken aback!"

A young man from a lofty sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass
And they both learned--by trial and error.

An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
They were simpler to grow than to chase.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The YoshiBlade is made from diamond hard Zirconium Oxide, which is
40% stronger than steel.
This new ceramic knife is guaranteed to stay sharp for life. This
will be the last knife you will
ever need to buy.

Limited time offer so act now.

Click the link below for more information:

http://buffaloschips.com/yobl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The
float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.

He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank. "Typical
bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense, "They won't
go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."

The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt She'd
stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out. But when he
reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free And in her
haste to get away, began a swimming spree. He reckoned once her
fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down If he didn't rescue
her, the stupid sod would drown. Her style was unimpressive, her
survival chances slim He saw no other option, he would have to take
a swim.

He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks. He
jumped into the water and away that cocky swam He caught up with
her, somewhere near the middle of the dam

The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath She
showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.

The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea But nor
was he prepared for what he was about to see.

He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe. And on
her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch The farmer yelling
wildly "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"

The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd like to personally invite you to be a part of the most
comprehensive diabetes community on the web.

DiabeticConnect.com was designed by people who understand what it's
like to deal with the challenges of living with diabetes every day.

We've made it easy to:

Share recipes, advice, and product reviews

Read the latest diabetes news

Watch informative diabetes videos

Connect with new friends who understand diabetes

http://buffaloschips.com/dibcon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1881

Irish Jig

Rudy: Listen to that it is beautiful...

Diana: It is just bagpipes.

Rudy with tears in his eyes: Yes... excuse me while I
run to the van and get mine.

Val/Katie/Sandi/Diana/BJ: NOOOOOO!!

A few minutes later Rudy is back and the sound, if one
can call it that, is coming forth from his bagpipe.

Soon the other pipers are joining Rudy and they are
marching around the field and around the fair.
But one pipe sounds mighter than the others.

Diana: Well at least he is having a grand ole time.

BJ: Yes, while he is on the South side, let's go to
the North side.

Zoom! Everyone heads to the north side.

After watching the games the family is resting and
Rudy comes and joins them. He has his pipes on his
back and a brew on one paw: I had a grand time.
They gave me this ribbon as the best piper of the year.
They also are sending me a new set of bagpipes. They
are supposed to be louder than the ones that I have.

BJ: Moan..

Sandi: Groan...

Diana: Owww

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!


"Experience is not what happens to a man;
it is what a man does with what happens to him."
Aldous Huxley

 


GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It was great sleeping weather night before last.
How do you argue with temps in the low 70s?
Tonight may not be so wonderful, as temps are
predicted to get down in to the 40's. Its been
kindof wet and drizzly the last few days. Typical
weather for this time of year. I really dislike
fall. The weather is always ucky, since it cannot
decide whether to be warm or cold. And there are
no decent holidays. Well, there is Thanksgiving,
if you like to eat and can tolerate relatives.
I think we need to have congress get busy to create
a one week holiday. Say like right after memorial
day. Every body takes the whole week off and we all
go on vacation and enjoy the sunshine. I think
everybody would be a lot happier.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman


____________

THE COMICS

fake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q011.html

honor roll
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q012.html

darth vader
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q013.html

divorce
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q014.html

mac
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q015.html

behind my back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q016.html

mingle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q017.html

true self
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q018.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

window washer for the ladies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/187.html

chess game
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/188.html

pays to advertise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/189.html

sneakers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/190.html

taxi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/191.html

middle aged women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/192.html
_________

POWER POINT DISPLAYS

dog wisdom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd415.html

Moscow to Beijing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd416.html

A worried father telephoned his family doctor and
said that he was afraid that his teenaged son had
come down with V.D. "He says he hasn't had sex with
anyone but the maid, so it has to be her." "Don't
worry too much," advised the doctor. "These things
happen." "I know, doctor," said the father, "but I
have to admit that I've been sleeping with the maid
also. I seem to have the same symptoms."
"That's unfortunate."
"Not only that, I think I've passed it to my wife."
"Oh God," said the doc, "That means we all have it."
_____________

Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again,
I am coming to live with you."
Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake.
I am coming to live with you."
______________

A 60-year-old man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor tells him, "You're in terrific shape. There's
nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever."
"You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how
old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responds, "Who said he is dead?"
The doctor is surprised and asks, "How old is he and is
he very active?" The 60 year old responds, "Well, he is
82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a
season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor can't believe it. "Well, how old was your
grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responds, "Who said he is dead?"
The doctor is astonished and says, "You mean to tell me
you are 60 years old and both your father and your
grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old says, "He goes skiing at least once a
season and surfing once a week during the summer.
"Not only that," says the patient, "my grandfather is 106
years old, and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor says, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your
grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looks up at the doctor and says, "Who said he wants to?"
____________

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon,
when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her.
So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that
he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a an e-mail from the ship.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died
in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster
attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise?"
The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!"
_____________

Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery.
They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury.
They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded
themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.
They decided to hire a butler.
They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and
very British, and brought him back to their home.
The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining
table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch.
The couple then left the house to do some shopping.
When they returned, they found the table set for six.
Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for six when they
had expressly asked him to set it for four.
The butler replied:
"The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes"

BUFFALO BILL

Canard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1231.htm

Candid Camera Russian Style
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1232.htm

Carrier Landing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1233.htm

Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1234.htm
___________

FUN PAGES

Driving Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38549&s=n

Potty Racers
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41894&s=n

Blue Lobster
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41430&s=n

Ultimate Crab Battle
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39579&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


 



__._,_.___


*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
  or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
  PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
  PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
  (Follow instructions)




Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

Your Scheduled Rides discount is waiting 💸

20% discount on your next 1   scheduled ride(s)! Heading to the airport? Doctor's appointment? A night out with friends? Don'...