"martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
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I hope everybody had a great Halloween!
I told "the war department" not to pick up the
candy this year, that I would do it. See, there
is method to my madness. Since I happen to love
candy corn, that was first on my list. And then
of course, all the other good stuff. Reeses pieces
Nestle crunch, Snickers, and all the other good
yummies. When I came in the door, she says,
"But honey, you got SIX bags? you know we only
passed out 3 last year." I just smiled. "Awe shucks.
How bout that?" Anyways to make a long story short, a drizzly wet evening left a big lack of trick or
treaters. And then later on we had to go to a dinner.
so needless to say, we didn't pass out a lot of
candy this year. But you know what? the postman has a lotta good shtuff to munch on, so it was a good holiday. hehehe.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
Which laundry detergent cleans your family's clothes best?
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THE COMICS
at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i041. html the secretary
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i042. html call you back, mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i044. html whoa!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i045. html give us a kiss
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i046. html the problem
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i048. html women drivers
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i049. html thats weird
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i050. html
____________
Become a Secret Food Critic and get $250 for your opinions!
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the voodoo doll
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies632 .html midgets on Jerry Springer
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies633 .html I believe in miracles
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies635 .html
Louis Armstrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies631 .html
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an
x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for a year from then. Why the different treatment for the two patients? The first is a Golden Retriever. The second is a Senior Citizen.
_______________ A young biker was called into court for destroying a tavern in a brawl. He appeared before the judge and said, "your Honer, I`m not guilty-my
reputation is spotless" Unimpressed, the judge said,"do you have any witnesses who can vouch for your character?"The young man pointed to a man in the corner. "Sure, the sheriff over
there." Taken by surprise, the sheriff stood up and declared, "Your Honor, this man is a liar. I've never seen him before in my life!"The young man turned to the judge and said, "See? I've lived here for 15
years and the sheriff doesn't know me, ain't that character enough, Your Honor?"
_______________ A Sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar and was trying to get laid without much success."I don't date servicemen," she said, "but I am curious as to why you sailors have those two rows of buttons on your pants." "Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor replied. "Interesting, and probably twice as much fun," replied the blonde. "Let's
go to my place and try them out." So they went to her flat, and after the first screwing the blonde says,
"Boy, that was sure nice. Now that I'm rested and still horny, I want the other one." Whereupon the sailor undid the other side of buttons,
pulled out a limp, weary dick, looked at it and sadly declared, "Well, I'll be damned! He's pouting because he wasn't FIRST!"
______________ Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's the matter?" asked Bill of his buddy. "You look kind of down."
"My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin." "Why's that?" "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."
____________Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized and they made up.Over the years my mom, from time to time, would mentioned what he had
done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she answered.
"I just don't want you to forget what I've forgiven and forgotten.
_____________________ __ A golfer and his buddies were playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200. As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took off his hat, placed it over his chest,
and waited for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen.
I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly losing your concentration, to pay your respects."
The golfer turned to him and said, "Well, it was the least I could do. We were married for 45 years!"
______________ A father said, "Son, the object of dating is to SCORE! And to do that, you have to give the woman something. So when you pick up your date later,
make sure you have some flowers or chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"So, the son showed up for his date with flowers AND chocolates.
She was very flattered and pleased, and she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him and rubbed her
fingers through his hair,.... hoping to give him the best kiss that he had ever received.
After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.
"Oh! I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to scare you away.""You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to get you some jewelry!"
_________________ Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said,not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
________________ Honey moon is overWomen, You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ...
Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket. Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face. PMS lasts all month.Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display. "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are you finished yet?!" He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.Dildos, S & M, menage ... anything to break the monotony. You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up. Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable. Two weeks no orgasm.
__________________ It was late afternoon at the crowded Shopping Mall when the distraught Linda dashed to a phone and called a cab. She stood there outside
until the taxi drove up. "Where to M'am?" the driver asked. "Just keep driving around the parking lot," she answered, "I'm afraid I've lost my car again."__________________ A man buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that he decides to keep them in his bathtub. One day the man invites his friend over to see all his beautiful goldfish. The friend is impressed, and remarks, "They sure are
beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?" To which the man replies, "I blindfold them."
____________
BUFFALO'S
MoviesUnskilled Labor
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 3216.htm LAB LAUGHSThe Worn Out...
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20070716 I Want To Be Like Mommy
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20070912 Very Chic
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20070913
_______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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