[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 12-25

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

From the Archives

buffalo says I have used this story several times before to show how
the spirit of Christmas can overcome even the hostilities of war
when both sides believe. I am glad to have Ross recount his version
today.

Hello, Folks...Ross here! ((o:

Stories tell of the British and German soldiers playing football
together in No Man's Land on Christmas day are true. The Christmas
truce of
1914 really happened and on some far greater scale than has been
generally realized. Enemy really did meet enemy between the
trenches. There was, for a time, genuine peace in No Man's Land.
Though Germans and British were the main participants, French and
Belgians took part as well. Most of those involved agreed it was a
remarkable way to spend Christmas.
"Just you think," wrote one British soldier, "that while you were
eating your turkey, etc, I was out talking and shaking hands with
the very men I had been trying to kill a few hours before! It was
astounding!"
"It was a day of peace in war," commented a German participant, "It
is only a pity that it was not decisive peace." NCOs and officers
often joined in with equal readiness, while others truces were
initiated and the terms of armistice agreed at 'parlays' of officers
between the trenches.
The situation in the 1914 trenches was very grave! Barely five
months after the outbreak of the war, nearly a million soldiers and
civilians were already dead. The assassination of Austrian Archduke
Franz Ferdinand that June had plunged Europe into its bloodiest war
to date, with no end in sight. The armies of the Allied and Central
Powers were grimly deadlocked, facing each other across a series of
trenches that stretched more than 400 miles from the English Channel
to Switzerland. On the Western Front that December, it rained
almost every day; in some places, the water was
5 feet deep. Armies of rats and mice shared the trenches. As
Christmas approached, millions of mud- covered troops were
shivering, frightened, and homesick.
The starting of this Christmas truce was very amazing! It bubbled
up from the ranks, with both armies making small gestures of good
will in the days before Dec. 25. Near Armentières, France, some
Germans suggested a brief, local cease-fire, even sweetening the
deal with a chocolate cake. Along the Lys River, a battalion of
Welsh infantrymen hoisted a banner reading "Merry Christmas,"
accompanied by a sketch of Kaiser Wilhelm II.
Then, as temperatures dropped below freezing on Christmas Eve, the
guns in many sectors fell silent, and thousands of British soldiers
heard something they would never forget.
The British heard the haunting sound of Germans singing Stille Nacht
(Silent Night). Through the gloom, the British could also see the
flames of candles dotting the branches of makeshift Christmas trees
like the footlights of a theater, said one amazed Tommy. Up and
down the line the British, moved by the holiday spirit, responded
with carols of their own; following each selection, the other side
would cheer and applaud. Soon, greetings of Happy Christmas! You
no shoot, we no shoot! and Come over here! echoed across no mans
land.
Slowly, cautiously, the two armies crept out into the shell-blasted
landscape. What both sides found was that the other side had
ordinary men like themselves. Once they had broken the ice with
greetings and handshakes, they started talking about their homes,
their jobs, their families. Many realized that they bore each other
no real enmity, that they were merely pawns in a struggle beyond
their control. Gifts were exchanged; English corned beef and German
cigars were particularly popular.
"Where they couldn't talk the language," wrote Cpl. John Ferguson
of the 2nd Battalion, Seaforth Highlanders, "they were making
themselves understood by signs. Here we were laughing and chatting
to men whom only a few hours before we were trying to kill!"
The camaraderie for a short time spread. On Christmas Day,
thousands of unarmed men from both sides again emerged from the
trenches, having agreed to use the daylight to collect their dead.
This time, the enemy soldiers swapped pieces of equipment and parts
of their uniforms. Many shared photographs of their families and
took pictures of themselves with their new friends. We are at any
rate having another truce on New Years Day, Lt. Dougan Chater of
the 2nd Battalion, Gordon Highlanders, wrote in a letter, as the
Germans want to see how the photos come out. In some places,
combatants even played soccer with makeshift balls.
The truce was pretty widespread. Where Britons faced Germans, more
than two-thirds of the troops made temporary peace. On the Eastern
Front, one group of Austrians and Russians reportedly played
leapfrog with one another. The French and Belgians were far less
charitable; the Hun, after all, had viciously invaded their
homeland. So some French officers defiantly ordered attacks on
Christmas Day. We opened rapid fire on them, wrote one captain,
which is the only sort of truce they deserve. Yet in most places,
the sound of gunfire was replaced by the sounds of Christmas.
The Commanders of both sides were not very happy about the truce.
When word got back to them, they were appalled. On Boxing Day (Dec.
26), British Gen. Sir Horace Smith-Dorrien ordered that on no
account is intercourse to be allowed between the opposing troops.
On Dec. 29, the German High Command forbade all fraternization,
warning that it would be punished as high treason. So with great
reluctance, the troops said goodbye and ambled back to their
trenches, dreading what was to come. Though many had fantasized
that their gestures might lead to an armistice, they knew it was a
futile dream.
In some cases, a single shot on Dec. 26 was enough to get the war
going again. The informal ceasefire stretched all across the
500-mile western front where more than a million men were encamped,
from the Belgian coast as far as the Swiss border. The truce was
especially warm along a
30-mile line around the Belgian town of Ypres, Jrgs notes. Not
everybody, though, approved.
One Austrian soldier billeted near Ypres complained that in wartime
such an understanding "should not be allowed". His name was Adolph
Hitler.
It was also said that in certain areas when the war resumed that
those facing each other at the front had to be sent to the rear
because they couldn't kill each other. This Christmas peace also
showed that when enemies really see each other they see each other
as brothers and don't understand why they are killing each other.
Certainly this is what Christmas is all about, God's peace in all of
us! This is what happened in the hearts of men on both sides in the
trenches on the Christmas of 1914.
<end article> Folks, I am kinda ... mortified that two national
forces --
even united forces
-- could call a 24-hour truce like this to allow the celebration of
a sacred day.
YOUR feelings??
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN....

Ross PROUD father of an American Soldier

buffalo says it is almost 1100 and I am still waiting for Eva to get
up. She
refused to go to bed last might till about 0400. I was trying to
catch a nap
and woke up with my arms covered with Christmas stickers. I hope
today
is filled with happiness for everyone. merry Christmas.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

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Hangover Chips
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Holiday Hangover

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

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Santa is coming
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Phone Chips
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"Babe, I didn't answer it a *single* time."

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Honeymoon Chips
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A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to
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Favorite Chips
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AlienChips
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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
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Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he
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Randy

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Feeling Chips
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The other day I was in the pub having a few quiet beers by myself.

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5'9' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass
figure barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top.

I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm
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After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer.

No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another
bar stool up close to me and sitting down.

She said ' Hi ', and I said ' Hi' in return.

She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect
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'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked.

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I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she
would get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up
the front of her top.

Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her
pert, perfect breast. 'How do you feel now,' she purred.

'OK' I replied.

Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never
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Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that
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through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and
scored a Try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till
full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple
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" Ahhh...." she growelled between clenched teeth, more than a bit
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My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton, and
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She snapped, 'Well tell me this, Smart Ass : Have you ever felt such
a cunt?'

'I certainly have' I answered, 'I missed the kick.'

Susan

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Why we celebrate Christmas
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/BP_SE.html

MARLENE'S/MARY'S LITTLE BOY CHILD
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Christmas Without Me
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/CHRISTMASWITHOUTME.HTML

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Surfin Surfari

Santa Claus
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Christmas Stories
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Christmas time.com
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Frohe Weihnachten!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Bruce's Computer Information & Help Links
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Joker/Computers.html

Turn on your sound and enjoy
http://www.aroundmd.com/whitechristmas/

Celine Dion - Happy Christmas (War Is Over)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrVG06U5MA

A Soldiers Silent Night Via Lesley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYgfLV7N5kU

Holdman Christmas
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Greatest Gift
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All Hearts Come Home
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Movie Links

3rd World Bomb Squad
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Remote
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Rocket Man
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Rubber Man
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She's Got You
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Short Chips
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Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on
the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book.
Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed
to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even
broke a sweat.

"It's not fair," he complained. "By the time I'm dragging myself off
to the showers, she's hopping back onto the stepper for yet
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One day he came home with a sheepish grin. .

"Well," he said, "I just found out --

they're identical twins."

------

A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came to a
complete stop on the freeway on-ramp.

The traffic thinned, but the driver still waited. Finally a furious
voice from the vehicle behind him cried,

"Hey, fellow! The sign says, 'Yield',

not 'surrender!' "

------

On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started
waiting tables, the owner suddenly emerged from the kitchen and
handed me money.

"We're in trouble!" He said. "We're out of quarters, and customers
are waiting. Go next door and get me $40 worth."

I ran to the supermarket next door, but a cashier said she wasn't
allowed to give out that many quarters. Determined, I sprinted to a
convenience store two blocks away, but it was closed. At a gas
station farther down the road, the clerk took pity and gave me the
four rolls of quarters. Twenty minutes after I'd left, I handed the
coin rolls to my boss.

"Where are the quarters?" he asked.

"Right here," I said breathlessly.

His face sank as he stared at all the 'quarters'.

"We're out of c-h-i-c-k-e-n 'quarters' not. . ." (voice trails off)

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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
_________________________________________

There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager,
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
_________________________________________

There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mini Sewing Machine

Mini Sew-Wonder is the new cordless sewing machine. It's as powerful
as a full size machine, but lightweight, battery/AC adapter powered
and can be used right out of the box. Forget the hassle of ordinary
sewing machines that can be bulky and heavy.

Get the job done with Mini Sew-Wonder.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/sewmac

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two friends were at a bar discussing life and love. One said, "Would
you believe that out of all the women I've been with not a one of
them was a virgin? It'd be nice if girls saved themselves for
marriage. I think it would cure a big part of the huge divorce
crisis we have."

"Yeah, Jim, I hear you," said the other. "Out of all the women I've
been with I've only had two virgins myself; my wife and yours."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dryer Maid Dryer Ball

Get rid of pet hair from clothes, sheets and towels while they
tumble in your dryer. The Dryer Maid is like thousands of tiny lint
brushes in every load of laundry and it automatically releases it
into your lint trap for quick disposal.

Save money and time for only $14.99 + S&H.

View Website

http://buffaloschips.com/dryball

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The playboy encountered a lovely young thing on one of his trips
abroad and decided to marry her.

Blessing the fact that she was not only a virgin but totally naive,
he seized on the wedding night as a chance to break her in right,
and had her perform oral sex with him a number of times.

The next day the bride went to see her mother, and burst into tears
almost immediately.

"Oh, Mother," she sobbed . "I did so want to have children, and now
I just know I never shall."

"Now, now, dear, what makes you so sure?" asked the mother
soothingly.

"Because." she wept, "because I'll never learn to swallow that
dreadful stuff!"

Susan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.

Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.

http://buffaloschips.com/tush

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1746

Christmas 2009 (Continued)

Santa: Because time has no meaning when you have the bag in your
possession. It will take but an hour to deliver all these presents
trust
me.

Elf: The truck is loaded Santa.

Santa: Then go with my blessing.

The four get into the truck and Tami dons her Santa hat and off they
go delivering the presents of Christmas....

Later after the last present is delivered.

Tami: This was a lot of fun. I enjoyed seeing the looks on the
childrens
faces as we slipped into their homes.

Sandi: Yeah, it was a blast, but I am... yawn, sleepy now.

Rudy: Time to take Miss Tami home.

Later back at Tami's house...

Tami: Guys, come give me a hug, I had a wonderful Christmas. Is
there anything I can do for you?

Rudy: Got any cookies?

Tami: As a matter of fact....

The end

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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