THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a
single candle, and the life of the candle will
not be shortened. Happiness never decreases
by being shared.
Siddhartha Gautama, 563 - 483 BC
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Dear Friend,
I have been watching you very closely to see
if you have been good this year, and since you
have I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12
days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with
VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing,
the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids
a-milking, and the 9 pipers-piping have been
arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans
a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds,
3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge
in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners
in bird poop.On top of all this! Mrs. Claus is going
through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat,
the elves have joined the gay liberation and some
people who can't read a calendar have scheduled
Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year
I will be able to get my shit together and bring you
the things you want. This year I suggest you get
your asses down to Walmart before everything is gone.
Love, Santa
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
truth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e010.html
love this job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e011.html
glasses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e012.html
Santa will be late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e013.html
possibilities
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e014.html
piling up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e015.html
nice buns
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e016.html
oh crap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e017.html
now that you are warm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e018.html
Santa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e019.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
top gear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8640.html
ringing of the bells the muppets
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8641.html
Jeanne Robertson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8642.html
lottery ticket prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8643.html
how to deal with a mugger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8644.html
Bucky the deer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8645.html
dog fishing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8646.html
The parish priest needs his house painted so he
offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first
day the kid paints the entire inside of the house,
he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished.
The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish
hands him a $5.00 bill. The boy looks at the money
and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father,
you're a virgin." The priest is a bit startled but
makes no remark. The next day the boy has to paint
the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and
he just manages to finish the job without collapsing.
The priest looks at the job and this time gives the
lad another $5.00 bill. Once again the lad looks at the
money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really
are a virgin". At this stage the priest decides to take
action. "Tommy," he says, "that's twice you've called me
a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"
"Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt. "
_____________
Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?
There's not much variety, but what else is open at three
in the morning. What's the difference between a Boner and
a Bonus? There's a good chance your wife's gonna blow
the bonus.
______________
A medical student just finished her last semester
and was heading out to apply to a hospital. The director
of the hospital thought the woman was very bright and
had a lot of potential. But the doctor wanted to ask
her a few questions just to quiz her."Well." said the
doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few questions
before we make anything definite, ok?" "Of course,"
said the woman."Ok, what do we call the operation of
removing your tonsils?" asked the director "That's easy,"
the woman said, "A Tonsillectomy.""Very good. ok, What is
the removal of your appendix called?" the director
continued. "I belive that is an Appendectomy," the
woman said confidentilly "Good job. One more. What do
we call a sex change operation?" the director asked.
Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned every
medical term known to man, but for some reason she could
not remember what a sex change operation was called.
She sat staring at the wall for some time before the
director began to get anxious. "Do you know?" he asked
repeatedly. Regaining her composure she finally smiled
and said, "of course,Addadictomy."
____________
They'd only been married the night before and now it
was Sunday morning. He woke up, stretched and said,
"Gosh, I can lie in bed now. I don'thave to go to work
today. I'd love to have my breakfast in bed - would you
mind too much, Dear?" The wife hopped out of bed with
alacrity and soon returned carrying a tray upon which
there was a large bowl of raw carrots, garnished with a
head of lettuce. He protested. "I thought I was going to
get a real breakfast coffee, rolls, bacon and eggs. What's
the meaning of this?" "Oh, nothing," she replied, "but seeing
the way you make love I thought perhaps you ate like a rabbit,
too."
________________
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim
Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're
always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what
I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down
at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda.
"Please don't tell me." " I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
is dead and gone. I'm sorry. Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell
into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus!
But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Mum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaoo.htm
My New Country Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oqqooq.htm
Never Smash A WD-40 Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kajasoa.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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