Plants gone potty!: February 2013

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
Benjamin Franklin

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM:
THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER:
In a special news conference yesterday,
Jimmy Buffett announced that he is expanding
his business operations into the digital
world. He has just completed
the purchas of YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook.
He says he plans to merge all 3 together.
They will be known as YouTwitFace.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________

THE COMICS

missing persons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a101.html

the blue bird of paradise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a102.html

your bus is here
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a103.html

your buddies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a104.html

censorship
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a105.html

I'm gonna explode
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a106.html

fingers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a107.html

the porridge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a108.html

a horny pool party
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a109.html

the naughty corner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a110.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Israel ¡Seeing is Believing!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2955.html

Kangaroo and Dog caught kissing!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2956.html

Four funniest commercials
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2958.html

Amazing Street Dancer On America's Got Talent! (Homeless)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2959.html

JOKE OF THE YEAR:
Two women were sitting together quietly,
minding their own business.
___________

It was a hot and humid August afternoon, when I decided to visit my girl
friend, Susie. Blonde and beautiful and resourceful, Susie had decided
to repaint her kitchen herself instead of hiring a professional. I
thought she might appreciate a break and brought over some cold drinks
and some sandwiches. When I arrived, I found Susie working hard,
painting the kitchen walls. To my utter amazement, instead of wearing
old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and her ski parka. I asked her
why she was dressed that way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint
bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did. There was the
explanation for me in black and white. It said..."For best results, put
on two coats."
____________

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he don't know
That three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head--
Too proud of me to speak!
____________

A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the
clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
"God", he said, "how long is a million years?" God answered, "In my
frame of reference, it's about a minute." The man asked, "God, how much
is a million dollars?" God answered, "To me, it's a penny." The man
then asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God answered, "In a minute."

FUN PAGES

Old Time Radio Shows
http://tinyurl.com/asuurqk

Magic of Her Makeup
http://tinyurl.com/cmmresu

Failed Product
http://tinyurl.com/azdyudm

Relax In Florida
http://tinyurl.com/boh9vyu

Make Your Own Twinkies
http://tinyurl.com/bqqbefk

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor

Your beliefs do not make you a better person:
your life does
_____________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM: The investigative reports bureau of
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER:
WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have
learned that Barack Obama is planning to run for the office of
Pope when the College of Cardinals convenes to elect a successor
to ailing Benedict XVI at the end of this month. Calling on the
promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly believe that
the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the Vatican's highest office.
He plans to begin campaigning for the office of pope very soon.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________

THE COMICS

in the stone age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a091.html

overcompensation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a092.html

magic mirror
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a093.html

my husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a094.html

next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a095.html

stereo types
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a096.html

money is tight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a097.html

friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a098.html

oh my god
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a100.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

doritos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2951.html

football
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2952.html

my check
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2953.html

pager
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2954.html
_______________________

One night at the dinner table, she commented,
"When we were first married, you took the small
piece of steak and gave me the larger.
Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller.
You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," he replied, "you just cook better now."
____________

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus.
The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed.
Finally, one woman turned to the other and said,
"You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!"
The other woman turned to her and said, "I know! I heard it snoring!"
___________

He frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room,
"Please come fast I'm having an argument with her and she says
she will jump out the window of your hotel!"
The manager replied, "Sir that's a personal matter."
He replies, "Like hell it is!
The window won't open, so that's a maintenance matter!"
____________

Why Vibrators Are Better Than Men

- A vibrator doesn't have an orgasm first and then just stop "vibrating."

- Vibrators are never too busy watching the game on TV.

- Batteries are cheaper than pickup trucks !

- When we're done with them we can stuff them back in the drawer and not hear from them until we're ready.

- It's happy to keep going until we're satisfied.

- We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we want without being called a slut.

- Position is your choice, not his.

- It always is hard.
___________________

FUN PAGES

Unicorn Horn For Cats
http://tinyurl.com/a6vr7jn

Ben 10 vs. Zombies
http://tinyurl.com/altafjj

Give Her The Flowers
http://tinyurl.com/bb73okv

Jump
http://tinyurl.com/b6ovlwu

Karate Kitties
http://tinyurl.com/baon72e

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Voltaire

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_____________

THE COMICS

chicken soup
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a071.html

geezer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a072.html

laundromat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a073.html

severance package
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a074.html

no women in heaven
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a075.html

prepared
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a076.html

sex ed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a077.html

wine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a078.html

more wine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a079.html

marriage counselor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a080.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

a new year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2943.html

handshake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2944.html

the helicopter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2945.html

introducing Harvey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2946.html

"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?"
asked the wife. "No," I said.
She gave me a sexy little smile,slowly reached into her
cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
"Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," I said.
She gave me another sexy little smile,seductively reached into
her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," I said, intrigued.
"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."
___________

During his recent golfing vacation, Obama sliced off the
tee on every hole.He asked his Scottish caddy if he has noticed
any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replied:
"Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver. "
Obama picked up his driver and cleaned the club face, at which point the caddy said:
"Nae, the other end."
____________

A young blonde secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a
friend.
"After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I
refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?"
"He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said.
"You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend.
"Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his
mother worry."

FUN PAGES

Road Trip Dog
http://tinyurl.com/ay2vssn

Parallel Underworld
http://tinyurl.com/ak45vto

Young Pup
http://tinyurl.com/a92m8og

Crazy X-Games Snowmobile Crash
http://tinyurl.com/ahfaco3

Just a Rasta Man
http://tinyurl.com/axkg3cu

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor

I will find humor in my everyday life by
looking for people I can laugh at

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_________

THE COMICS

a flow chart
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a061.html

lick the bowl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a062.html

Snoopy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a063.html

every time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a064.html

abundance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a065.html

FYI
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a066.html

first time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a067.html

the rubber glove
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a068.html

drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a069.html

not pleased
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a070.html
_____________

LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES

Husband's smelly revenge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2939.html

one summer day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2940.html

busted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2941.html

greatest movie line
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2942.html

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in faeces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..
However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid (shit!!!!),
Than to drink water and be full of shit.
__________________

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

3. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

4. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

5. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

6. Born free, taxed to death.

7. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
_____________

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before
morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick.
"And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing
here like thi... Darn! There goes another one!"
_______________

A violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed
them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s."
Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So, you got it used?"
______________

FUN PAGES

Photo Hunt Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44742&s=n

Breakup Letter Generator
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44776&s=n

Luigis Revenge Hacked
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44657&s=n

Read This Danger Sign
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44242&s=n

Virtual Voodoo Doll
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44805&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

____________

THE COMICS

the cat says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a051.html

these 2
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a052.html

spend the money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a053.html

a big eagle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a054.html

Aunt B
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a055.html

caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a056.html

Obama
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a057.html

nothing wrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a058.html

a super bowl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a059.html

Walter's new job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a060.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Sex with Bea
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2935.html

Was I a surprise, mammy? | Mrs. Brown's Boys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2936.html

What If.......Wild Animals Ate Fast Food
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2937.html

Hoops and YoYo: Coffee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2938.html

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school
secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, Ma'am" said the new boy.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He cuts people in half."
"Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
____________

1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I
learned that most people die of natural causes.

2- There are two kinds of pedestrians .. . .
The quick and the dead. Especially in Chicago

3- Life is sexually transmitted.

4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
___________

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away,
suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the
table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and
out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and
unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman,
"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said,
"No, he didn't. He just walked in."
_______________

FUN PAGES

Graffiti Maker
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44790&s=n

Real Purple Haze Buds
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44644&s=n

That's Going To Hurt
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44963&s=n

Magic Crystal Ball
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44741&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

The purpose of the constitution is to limit the power
of the federal government, not the power of the American people

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

________________

THE COMICS

life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a041.html

help me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a042.html

I love you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a043.html

before the Heimlich
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a044.html

real men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a045.html

men and boobs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a046.html

free
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a047.html

the fourth date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a048.html

happy vs sad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a049.html

property value
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a050.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

softness
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2931.html

hey dad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2932.html

In times like these
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2933.html

C'mon Ralph
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2934.html

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

The difference between the Pope and your boss, the
Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
__________

I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam.
His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room
And told me to get undressed and have a seat
Until the doctor could see me .
She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me
I sat down
While waiting I observed
That there were three items on a stand
Next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .
When the doctor finally came in I said,
"Look Doc, I'm a little confused
This is my first exam ..
I know what the K-Y is for
And I know what the glove is for,
But can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door
He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . . .
Dang it Evelyn !!!
I said a BUTT LIGHT "
_______________

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from
Northwestern University .On a hike through the bush, he came across a
young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The
elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a
large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently
as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which
the elephant gingerly put down its foot.The elephant turned to face
the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him
for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing
else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly,
turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with
his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of
the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son
Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter,
lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant
did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this
was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the
railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the
elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped
its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing,
killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same darn elephant.

FUN PAGES

Spoiled Kids
http://tinyurl.com/agd7xzr

Bath Time Is So Much Fun
http://tinyurl.com/adfoxxd

Choose Your Own Adventure
http://tinyurl.com/a37dlfm

This Girl Has Talent
http://tinyurl.com/ba5oa3s

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

The Postman's Corner!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!

"Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible
objections must first be overcome."
— Samuel Johnson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

________________

THE COMICS

the 60s
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a031.html

pacifist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a032.html

miracle drugs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a033.html

the "I love you" line
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a034.html

I know what you're thinking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a035.html

party
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a036.html

valentines day in Folsom prison
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a037.html

pool
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a038.html

lesbians
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a039.html

big plans tonight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a040.html
________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

PolitiZoid - The Great Pretender
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2927.html

The Guys from Knight Rifles "Americas Muzzleloader"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2928.html

Letterman at Mcdonald's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2929.html

Dane Cook - "Burger King"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2930.html

One winter day, Fred's neighbor Sam, came up to
Fred's door and started pounding on it.
Fred answered the door.
"Sam, what's up?" he said.
Sam angrily replied, "That no good son of yours has been peeing
In the snow in my yard!"
Fred asked, "How do you know it was my son?"
Sam answered, "He wrote his name in pee!"
"Okay," Fred replied.
"I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say,
I don't see what the big deal is.
It's just pee in the snow.
Why are you so fired up about it?"
Sam snapped back, "It's in my daughter's handwriting!"
____________

The idle thoughts of a wandering mind

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it

I had amnesia once---or twice

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
_____________

An Italian woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus
driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The Italian woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down,
fuming. She says to a man next to her, "Eh, dat driver
ova dere justa insulteda me!"
The man said, "You go right up there and tell him
off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
____________

Barry Mailey walks into a drugstore and asks for a package of condoms.
"I'm afraid I can only sell them to you if you're married." The druggist says.
"Well, I am, "replies Barry.
"You'll have to prove it," says the druggist.
So Barry rushes back home, gets his marriage certificate, shows
it to the druggist and finally gets his condoms.
A few days later, Barry goes back to the same druggist to
get some flea powder for his dog.
"Got a dog license?" the druggist asks.
Barry reluctantly trudges home in a rage and gets the dog
licence and is finally handed his flea powder.
The next day he's back in the shop and hands the druggist a screw- top-jar.
"Here, smell this," Barry tells the druggist.
"The druggist unscrews the lid and takes a whiff.
"That smells like Shit!" cries the druggist, wrinkling his nose.
"Correct," says Barry .
"Now GET ME two rolls of toilet paper please."
________________

FUN PAGES

Bar-be-cue
http://tinyurl.com/a45hms5

Girls Do Proper Doggy Style
http://tinyurl.com/bojhrg9

Failed Product
http://tinyurl.com/azdyudm

Santa Chat
http://tinyurl.com/anmmfno

Snuggle Puppy
http://tinyurl.com/b5bkftw

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes with its daily dose of humor!

Laws are like sausages.
It's better not to see them being made.
Otto von Bismarck

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER:

Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew.
This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of
President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision
to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how
unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels
in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's
existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of
dollars worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's
management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for. At the crew's
first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to
change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they
had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the
car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Budweiser, a bag of weed,
and some photos of Gordon's wife in the shower.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

____________

THE COMICS

on facebook
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a021.html

life before and after
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a022.html

what
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a023.html

not so bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a024.html

Holby city
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a025.html

my wedding anniversary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a026.html

remind you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a027.html

ready?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a028.html

home security
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a029.html

electric toothbrush
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a030.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

"buggah"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2923.html

why its great to have a dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2924.html

try and catch the wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2925.html

drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2926.html

Two old guys talking.
One said to the other: "My 85th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
__________

Blonde wife texts her husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts her back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer is completely screwed up now."
____________

A Russian had saved enough money to buy a car. He went to the government
office, turned over the money, and was informed there was a long waiting list to get a car.
"Come back in 10 years," the bureaucrat told the car buyer.
"Morning or afternoon?" asked the buyer.
"What difference does it make?" asked the bureaucrat.
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
And that, folks, is what socialism and communism lead to.
____________

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the
tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART!
Why WAL-MART??
HELLOOOOOOOOO!
WAL-MART is the largest
re-tailer in the world!!!
_____________

My boss phoned me today, he said, "Is everything okay at the office?"
I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.
I said, "Of course, what is it?"
"Speed it up a little, I'm in the SUV behind you."
_____________

FUN PAGES

Chat With God Online
http://tinyurl.com/b5zavw8

Help I Need Money
http://tinyurl.com/a27cdd2

Beautiful Blue Eyes Puppy
http://tinyurl.com/a9oct52

Get High On Our Street
http://tinyurl.com/alnbohy

Music Critic
http://tinyurl.com/b3c64zl

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!

Some people learn by reading...
some people learn by watching...
and some people learn by doing...
But.....some people just have to pee on
the electric fence to see for themselves.....

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Menard's is having an end of winter sale.
Snow plows 35 percent off.
Went and bought myself one.
it was a good deal.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________

THE COMICS

computer not working
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a011.html

out of wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a012.html

beware of dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a013.html

girl scout cookies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a014.html

erase the pain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a015.html

hey sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a016.html

vd clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a017.html

a parrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a018.html

reregistered
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a019.html

what is this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a020.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

An elephant ate my cell phone!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2919.html

Old Swingers Pete & Beulah Mae
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2920.html

Andy Kaufman's First Appearance on The Tonight Show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2921.html

The drugs I need
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2922.html

A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking
around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher's
counter. The lady asks, "What in the world is that?"
"Beef tongue," replies the butcher!
The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, "No way would I
put anything in my mouth that came out of an animal's mouth!"
The butcher nods sympathetically while peeking into the
woman's shopping cart, "I see you're buying a dozen eggs!"
____________

A toothpaste factory had a problem.
They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside.
This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.

Understanding how important the relationship with them was,
the CEO of the company assembled his top people.
They decided to hire an external engineering company
to solve their empty boxes problem.

The project followed the usual process: budget and project
sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected.
Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic
solution - on time, on budget, and high quality.
Everyone in the project was pleased.

They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision
scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a
toothpaste box weighed less than it should.
The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the
defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line.
As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty
boxes were being shipped out of the factory.

With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent.
He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered
the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first
week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero!
The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day.
He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.

Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, viewed the part
of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed,
just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution, sat a $20 desk
fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin.
He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
"Oh, that," the supervisor replied, "Bert, the kid from maintenance,
put it there because he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang."
________________________

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for
his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and
picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the
bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the
laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to
the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to
do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,
he cleaned the kitchen,ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids,
and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily c
hores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love
which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's
being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way
they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
_____________

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the
sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.
Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the
same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can
also be very dangerous.
Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the
resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him
and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that
lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for
the service to continue.

___________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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Ripley

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