[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Tues





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I keep getting complaints every month that I forgot a holiday on my
list of Bizzare Holidays so this month Jim sent me one that contains
both recognized and obscure holidays. All you have to do is provide
food and beverages and you have 31+ reasons to party.

1 Build A Scarecrow Day - first Sunday in month

1 Canada Day

1 Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day

1 International Joke Day

2 I Forgot Day

2 World UFO Day

3 Compliment Your Mirror Day

3 Disobedience Day

3 Stay out of the Sun Day

4 Independence Day (U.S.)

4 National Country Music Day

4 Sidewalk Egg Frying Day- Hmmmm, I wonder why!?!

5 Work-a-holics Day - even though everyone is on holiday

6 National Fried Chicken Day

7 Chocolate Day

7 National Strawberry Sundae Day

8 Video Games Day

9 National Sugar Cookie Day

10 Teddy Bear Picnic Day

11 Cheer up the Lonely Day

11 World Population Day

12 Different Colored Eyes Day

12 Pecan Pie Day

13 Barbershop Music Appreciation Day

13 Embrace Your Geekness Day

13 Fool's Paradise Day

14 Bastille Day

14 Pandemonium Day

14 National Nude Day

15 Tapioca Pudding Day

15 Cow Appreciation Day- Go out and give a cow a hug

16 International Juggling Day

17 Peach Ice Cream Day

17 Yellow Pig Day

18 National Caviar Day- something's fishy here

19 National Raspberry Cake Day

20 Moon Day

20 National Ice Cream Day (third Sunday of the month)

20 Ugly Truck Day- it's a "guy" thing

21 National Junk Food Day

22 Hammock Day

22 Ratcatcher's Day

23 National Hot Dog Day

23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day

24 Cousins Day

24 Emilia Earhart Day

25 Culinarians Day

25 Threading the Needle Day

26 All or Nothing Day

26 Aunt and Uncle Day

27 Parent's Day - fourth Sunday in July

27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day

28 National Milk Chocolate Day

29 National Lasagna Day

30 National Cheesecake Day

30 Father-in-Law Day

31 Mutt's Day

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

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Fight Chips
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No," she
answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me
this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

----------------------------------------------------------
----

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

----------------------------------------------------------
----

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into
a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned on the radio, and discovered th at the weather would be bad
all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife
of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out
fishing in that?' And then the fight started ...

----------------------------------------------------------
----

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from
outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy Crap?.

That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared
and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground,
ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back,
'Yeah, then why were you running?' And then the fight started.....

----------------------------------------------------------
----

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the
cold cream.

And then the fight started....

----------------------------------------------------------
----

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies,
'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started.....

----------------------------------------------------------
----

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

----------------------------------------------------------
----

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split
up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...

----------------------------------------------------------
----

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started...

----------------------------------------------------------
----

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight
started...

----------------------------------------------------------
----

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about
3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

Gordon

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Don't move
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The Bobbit home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j021.html

I'm so old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j022.html

Bridge Between Sweden Denmark
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000250.html

Bridge Outdoor
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000251.html

Bringing Civilization To Its Knees
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000252.html

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Car Chips
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Luxury cars are soon to be a thing of the past.

They have always been beyond my means but I took out a luxury car
last week, just to drive that sucker.

The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and options.
The seats were of particular interest.

He explained the seats directed warm air to your butt during the
winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

I stated the car must be a Republican car. He asked why I thought
it was a Republican car, and I explained if it were a Democratic car
the seats would blow smoke up your ass year round.


Kent

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Bull Chips
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The city slicker was spending some time with his country cousins.
The

first morning the farmer said," We need some help today. I'd sure

appreciate it if you could take the bull to pasture three to breed

with the cow there." The city slicker agreed. Six hours later, he

staggered back to the farmhouse, his clothing all torn and
disheveled.

The farmer took a look, then asked, "The bull give you a problem?"

"Hell, no. the bull was eager and raring to go." "

Then why did it take you all day?"

"Because," the city slicker replied, "The cow fought me for hours
before
she'd roll over on her back."

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious Jews and in fact they
really only went to Temple once a year. As they were leaving the
Temple,
the Rabbi said, "Bernie, it sure would be nice to see you and Esther
here more than once a year!"

"I know," replied Bernie, "but at least we keep the Ten
Commandments."

"That's great," the Rabbi said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the
Commandments."

"Yep," Bernie said proudly, "Esther keeps six of them and I keep the
other four."

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one
house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer
came to
his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and
wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that
his
card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,
"Genesis
3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke
up in
gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the
door
and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden
and I
was afraid for I was naked."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
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concept, but a proven plan with parts lists, sources and suppliers,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moth Chips
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The lovers passionately embraced while lying on her bed. Their
bodies
fused together as they gyrated and panted. Then, suddenly the woman
cocked her ear. "Quick, my husband is coming through the front
door."
"Hide in the bathroom", she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom
as
she hid his clothes under the bed. Just as she turned back, her
husband
came through the bedroom door.

"What are you doing lying naked on the bed?" he asked.

"Darling, I heard you coming up the drive way and got ready to
receive
you" she replied with a wink and a smile. "Great" he said, "I'll
just
run into the bathroom and I'll be with you in two shakes."

She panicked. Before she could stop him, he was in the bathroom. He
found a man clapping his hands together in mid air. Dumfounded, he
asked, "Who the devil are you?"

"I'm from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get
rid of
these pesky moths" the lover replied. The husband yelled, "but
you've
got no clothes on!!!"

The lover looked down at his body, jumped backwards in surprise and
said, "Those little bastards."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady goes on a vacation to the Caribbean wishing her husband had
been
able to join her. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a
night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?"
"I
can't tell you" the black man says.

Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his
name
is and he always responds the same, he can not tell her. On her
last
night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?"

"I can't because you will make fun of me" the black man says.

"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says.

"Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies.

The lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says,
"I
knew you would make fun of it" the black man says.

The lady replied, "It's my husband that won't believe me when I tell
him
that I had 10 inches of Snow everyday in the Caribbean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Always and Forever
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/LoveRom3/Alway.html

Rick w/ American Tribute, July 4th
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/rm/AmericanTribute.html

National Anthem
http://www.myspace.com/genevieveheart

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Things I Want
http://www.thethingsiwant.com/

Truth Matters!
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Azada: Ancient Magic
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Free Typing Game
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Feature-Rich Screenshot Program.
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Easy web authoring
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Find Icons Via Wesley
www.iconfinder.net

Find Your Time Zone Via Wesley
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Cars and Trucks Wavs Via Sally
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Animal World

Oregon Aquarium
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Tropical Fish Centre
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Movie Clips

Alan King Survived By
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Don't Look Away When I'm Talking To You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjakka.htm

Durex Funny Commercial
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Elevator Candid Camera
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Every Man's Dream
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Idiot 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/756i6t.htm

Idiot 4
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i67u.htm

Idiot 5
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jh67i6.htm

Idiot 6
http://www.buffaloschips.com/u567.htm

Joe Cook Veteran
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32423r.htm

GG

Chicken Run 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjjdflkj.htm

Chicken Order
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Chickens Revenge
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjk.htm

Child Psy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uyur5.htm

Children
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ui5.htm

Chimp
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl65.htm

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Hunting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about
his
hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one
could
dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he
would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could
locate
the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was
that
killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it
if
they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal
skin.

After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Springbok." Then
he
felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was
right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their
car
trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion
Shot with a .416 rifle.

He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time
against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of
his
mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the
mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, I
know
I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and
not
remember it. Where did I get this black eye?

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and
put
your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly
announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bushy now
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big butt
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buttercup
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butter penis
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butthead
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gay Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What Is A Gay Masochist?
A. A Sucker For Punishment.

Q. What Is A Gay Seven Course Dinner?
A. Seven Inches, Seven Ways.

Q. What Is Better, Being Born Black Or Gay?
A. Black, Because You Don't Have To Tell Your Parents.

Q. What Is The Brown Stuff On A Queer's Dick?
A. Gay Poopon.

Q. What Is The Definition Of Bloody Mary?
A. A Wounded Gay.

Q. What Is The Difference Between A Freezer And A Gay?
A. A Freezer Doesn't Fart After You Pull The Meat Out!

Q. What Is The Difference Between A Microwave And A Gay Male's
Lifestyle?
A. The Microwave Won't Brown Your Meat.

Q. What Is The Difference Between A Straight Rodeo And A
Gay Rodeo?
A. At A Straight Rodeo They Yell `Ride Them Suckers!'.

Q. What Is The Most Entertaining Part About Gay Bars?
A. The Cockfighting In The Back Room.

Q. What Is The Most Romantic Thing You Can Say To Someone
In A Gay Bar?
A. `May I Move Your Stool?'

Q. When There Was A Gay On Your Back, Would You Beat Him
Off?

Q. Who Is The Saddest Gay In Hollywood?
A. The Last One To Get A Piece Of The `Rock'.

Q. Why Did The Gay Cover Himself With Whipped Cream?
A. He Was Going To The Party As A Wet Dream.

Q. Why Didn't The Gay Student Sit Down?
A. His Seat Was Taken Right Before Class.

Q. Why Do Bi-Sexuals And Gay Men Smoke Cigars?
A. Practice Makes Perfect!

Q. Why Is A 25 Year Old Gay Like A 90 Year Old Heterosexual?
A. For Each One, Sex Is Behind Him.

Q. Why Is A Gay At An Orgy Like A Turkey?
A. He'll Gobble, Gobble, Gobble 'Till You Cut Off His Head.

Q. Why Is Normal Sperm Fresher Than Homosexual Sperm?
A. Because Most Gay Sperm Comes In A Can.

Q. Why Was The Gay Fired From His Job At The Sperm Bank?
A. For Drinking On The Job.

Q. Why Was The Gay Sergeant Court-Martialed?
A. They Caught Him Playing With His Privates.

Q. Did You Hear About The Gay Milkman?
A. He Never Left An Empty Behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tractor salesman was passing a farm, where the farmer was plowing
the
field with a bull. He goes over and offers to sell the farmer a
tractor
to plow with. The farmer tells him "I don't need a tractor, I have
three
new ones at the barn"

Well if you have three new tractors at the barn, why are you plowing
this field with that bull, asked the salesman?

The farmer replied, "This is part of the bulls continuing education,
I
am teaching him that there is more to farming than fucking and
tearing
down fences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Red Riding Hood is minding her own business and walking
through
the forest. All of a sudden, the Big Bad Wolf jumps in front of her
and
screams, "Little Red Riding Hood, I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!!!!" Little
Red
Riding Hood jumps back in fright and yells, "OH NO!!! ARE YOU GOING
TO
EAT ME WHOLE????!!!" "Nah", says the wolf, "I thought I'd spit
that
part out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From BJ in Guthrie

I lost a dear friend June 26th Julian Stetnish. The most humble
Christian man I have been blessed to have known. A veteran of World
War II, a man who knew Will Rogers, an Elder Emeritus and was
honored as one of Oklahoma's 'Centenarians' during an OU game. He
was the same age as OU. He will sit at the Table with his Master.

All of this, he was my friend.

I wrote this a few years ago...

Julian, my 102 Year-old Friend and our
Journey

Once a month I try to take Julian, a member of our church for a
short trip.

Julian has an amazing mind, sharp and clear. He enjoys our time
together. I

have taken him to Spaghetti Warehouse in downtown bricktown, OKC. I

have taken him to see Jackie Chan's sequel to the Shanghai Kid,
Shanghai

Knights, at the movies.

However, yesterday was his favorite trip.

After church we took US highway 277 through a lot of small towns
and

wound up at Meers, Oklahoma, population 3. Meers has a restaurant
has is

state famous for their longhorn hamburgers. They serve about
100,000 a

year according to Southern Living magazine. The restaurant is
rustic and

has a seismograph as the restaurant is close to a fault. The food
was terrific.

The drinks were served in fruit jar glasses. Around the restaurant
photos of

Frank James, Geronimo and photos of cowboys days long past were

displayed.

After we left the restaurant we drove up Mt. Scott the tallest
mountain in

Oklahoma (outside of Lawton, Oklahoma). The mountain is a baby

mountain but the terrain and the mountain range is very old, older
than the

rockies. Next stop was the Holy City, a replica of Bethlehem and
the site of

the longest running passion play in the United States, about 77
years. Tens

of thousands watch the play every year on blankets and lawn chairs
while the

actors work from the tomb, the manger, even the ark of Noah is
represented.

The church at this location is something else. It reminds me of
how a church

in old Istanbul might look. The ceilings are painted in the manner
of old

Christian churches of the middle east. Portraits of the original
disciples

adorn the inside. This is truly an amazing sight.

Of course the last few stops are on open range where hundreds
of buffalo

and longhorns run wild. Do not try to take a picture close up of a
buffalo or

a longhorn as they are wild.

One little good deed we did was I picked up a native-american
lady who

was going to a pow-wow. She was scheduled to dance but had a

misunderstanding with a loved one and did not want to dance in her
mood.

She had walked about 10 miles before we picked her up and took her
home

(another 10 miles). She was thankful and we were blessed as she
told us

some scenic routes to take.

Last stop, Medicine Park, Oklahoma. Without a doubt the most
fantastic

town I have seen in Oklahoma. Most of the buildings are made of

cobblestone so there is a certain conformity to the whole town. A
large

stream runs through the middle of town and we parked and watched
kids

climb trees and jump into the water. The water enters town via a
waterfall

and is about 30 feet or so wide and the depth varies. The town is
placed on a

hilly area and is beautiful. We had to visit the town a second time
before we

left the area. Live music drifted through the air from a open area
of a

restaurant stamping our memory to come back one day.

What I remember was Julian laughing with joy at the top of the

mountain, Julian laughing with joy at seeing the buffalo roam and
the

multitude of prairie dogs posing as we drove by and lastly, the firm

handshake he gave me at his home with the words of thanking me for

showing him parts of Oklahoma he had never seen before.

B.J. Cassady

Guthrie, Oklahoma

A ps

Yesterday we said goodbye to Julian. In church, my wife sang him a
song,

I told him how much I will miss him and 'thanks for the memories.'
He is

moving to Indiana to be with his son. Julian, who rafted the
Illinois river at

81, who rode the rails, who experiences each day as a new child, who
is one of

the three most humble men I have ever known. Julian, a walking
living

testimony of how to live life, how to inspire people and how to
worship God,

is moving away.

He said, "This is just another chapter in my life." Julian, my
friend go with

peace, go with God and someday when you are there with Him put a
word in

for me because I am certain you are in good standing with the Man.

BJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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Funzines - Video Fun A July 1, 2009

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER


No one is in charge of your happiness but you

 


When was Michael Jackson at his best?
Tell us. Then complete the program requirements for a FREE 7
album collection of MJ's solo career.
http://tinyurl.com/lz7u3v

 

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
The life of man is like a game with dice;
if you don't get the throw you want,
you must show your skill in making the
best of the throw you get.

Accused swindler Bernie Madoff was sentanced for
150 years for his ponsi scheme that bilked
billions from investors yesterday. Wonder how many millions
per year that works out to? Kindof ironic isn't
it? Madoff prosecuted by the United States
government, who is itself the conductor of the
largest ponsi scheme in history, known as
social security.

And did you even catch the news of the US troop
pullout from Iraqi cities? Barely made the
headlines. Shows that Americans are more concerned
about their billfolds rather than war, apparently.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________

marriage is like...

THE COMICS

Don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j020.html

The Bobbit home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j021.html

I'm so old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j022.html

fuck you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j023.html

at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j024.html

our sex life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j025.html

Jack and Jill
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j026.html

finish your beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j027.html

liberty and barbeque
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j028.html
_________

 

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Billy Mays at McDonalds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5794.html

fainting goats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5795.html

a DNA test
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5796.html

Chinese
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5797.html

watch the waiter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5798.html

it really sucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5799.html

THINGS TO SAY IN THE LADIES DRESSING ROOM
# That's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it?
# I saw a dress just like that one in WalMart yesterday.
# Hey, get out of here you filthy pervert! 
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a man...
# I had a dress like that.  My boyfriend made me throw it 
away because he said it made me look like Roseanne Barr.
# Pardon me, but I think that will clash terribly with your pimples...
# Excuse me, but would you stop staring at me?  Yes, YOU!!!
_________

With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still imploring for more --
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing;
I simply can't Fuck any more!"
___________

This couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog and l
eaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes up to the
women and says, "I really really want to squeeze your tits. Will you let me?"
The lady turns around and says, "How dare you, get away from me, you sicko!"
The bloke then says, "Oh you have a lovely arse can I rub it, please let me?"
The lady turns around and says, "Look you pervert get away from me!
I'll get my boyfriend to beat you up if you don't piss off!"
The bloke takes no notice and continues to the woman,
"I want to tip you upside down and fill you up with beer
and down it in one big gulp." "RIGHT... THAT IS IT" shouts the woman.
Just then her boyfriend comes out from the bog and says,
"Whaz goin' on here?!?" The woman says all hysterically,
"That bloke over there said he wants to squeeze my tits!"
Her boyfriend rolled up one of his sleeves and was just about
to smack him when the lady shouts "That's not all, he wants to rub my arse!"
So her boyfriend rolled up the other sleeve!
"And do you know what else he said? He wants to tip me upside
down and fill me up with beer and down it in one big gulp!
So are you going to beat him up then?" Her boyfriend rolls
down his sleeves and says "Of course not darling, I ain't messing
with a bloke that can drink that much beer!!!"
____________

One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her
sins, came to a Baptist church.
She got up in front of the congregation and stated, "Last week,
I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I
ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation.
She continued, "Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor,
but now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."
"Hallelujah!", cried the congregation again.
"But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance,
I will sleep with the Lord," she finished.
But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the
back yelled out in a clear voice, "That's right momma, fuck 'em all."
_______________

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady,
entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take
your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue...."
______________

"I read recently that men who ogle women's breasts for ten
minutes a day live longer, healthier lives. Woo-hoo! I'm gonna
live forever!"
- Bill Hewins
________________

BUFFLAO BILL

Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm

Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm

Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm
__________

SYDESJOKES LIST

Seen My Drill
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001709.html

Cockpit View Of Shuttle Landing
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001710.html


We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

 

 

 



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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Mon





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

The fans are off again and the windows closed. Rain is expected
for the next week and highs will be in the sixties and lower
seventies
while that is happening. Good for sleeping, bad for camping and
the beach. This is also the biggest tourist days of the summer and
the price of gas has dropped another nickel since last week so
it may be a good time to get away from that hot, humid weather you
have and come do some sightseeing up north.

Rain is good for sleeping, unfortunately it is not great for baling
hay.
The timothy is a little on the young side right now so it is
possible
to wait a week to start baling but every day after that the hay
starts
to lose moisture and food value and there is more breakage as it
goes through the baler, leaving hay in the field. It takes two days
from cutting to baling even with crimping and if it gets rained on
in
between the hay turns brown instead of bright green and the value
goes down. With the high cost of gas it is not long before you are
losing money.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farmer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three whores were comparing notes about their
customers from the night before.

"I fucked a cowboy last night", said the first.

"How did you know he was a cowboy?" asked
the second.

"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and
kept both the hat and the boots on all the time we
were screwing."

"Sounds like a cowboy, all right," the others agree.

"I fucked a lawyer," announced the second. "I could
tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a
briefcase. He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to
the briefcase all the time we were fucking."

They all agreed he sounded like a lawyer.

"I fucked a grain farmer," commented the third.

"How could you possibly know he was a grain
farmer?" one asked.

"First he complained it was too dry, then he whined
it was too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the
fall."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

300 times
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j010.html

how it all started
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j011.html

a hobby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j012.html

Break For Animals
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000247.html

Break Glass
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Break Laws
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000249.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Sunday after church Sven meets Ole in the parking lot and
notices
that Ole has a big black eye. Sven says "Ole, Vat happen'd??!?"

Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"

Sven listening with a worried look says "Ya".

Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to
sing
da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her
buuns,
so I pulled it out and I tink she didn't like dat"

The next week, Sven and Ole meet up in the church parking lot on
Sunday
morning but this time Ole's other eye is swelled up and black while
the
original shiner is healing. This time Sven, even more concerned says
"Yumpin' Yiminey, Ole! Vat happened!!??"

So Ole says "Vell, ya know how hot it's been lately?"

Sven, shaking his head says "Ya".

Ole says "Vell, vee ver sitting in church and ven vee stood up to
sing
da hymn the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her
buuns
and den da fella next to me, he pulled it out and, of course, I
stuck it
back in but I guess she didn't like dat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mighty Putty

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Additional Ordering Details:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hooters Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slogans for Hooters Air

Where Flight Attendants Double as
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When You Fly Hooters, You Fly the
Very Breast!

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We Love to Fly in Chilly Cabins
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Full Upright Position? Count on It!

We Defy Gravity Every Day!

No, They're Not Natural...
but Neither Is Flying

Pray for Turbulence

Boeing! Boeing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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*Free_Magic Chopper the Magic Chopper is one of the best kitchen
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the
maid.
She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told
the
maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's
room,
switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the
bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure
opened
the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her. After a few
passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and
asked,
"Surprised?" "I sure am, ma'am!" stammered the chauffeur.

One day, shortly after having her 9th baby, the good Irish lady ran
into
her parish priest. He congratulated her on the new offspring then
said,
"Isn't h aving nine babies a little much?" "Well," she said, "I
don't
know why I get pregnant so often, it must be something in the air."
"Yes," said the priest, "your legs!"

Bill staggered into the house at two o'clock in the
morning. As he entered his bedroom, he found another
man in bed with his wife.

His wife pushed the man off her and demanded to know
where Bill had been until two o'clock in he morning.

Bill looked at his wife's lover and demanded, "Who in
the hell is this guy, and what is he doing in bed with you?"

The wife responded, "Don't go changing the subject!
Where in the hell have you been so late?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Convert Your Car To Burn Water + Gasoline = Double Your Mileage!

Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
using your battery to generate hydrogen and oxygen from water to
increase your gas mileage up to 50 %. They weren't just selling a
concept, but a proven plan with parts lists, sources and suppliers,
and videos. You can use their plan to reap savings from the family
car, a fleet of vehicles, or open a profitable business in this time
of high gas prices. buffalo

http://buffaloschips.com/hho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Bobby turned 16, his big brother Luke decided to turn him into
a
`Real Man´.Luke took Bobby down to the local whorehouse and
explained to
Bobby: "Yer gonna be a `Real Man´ now... No more chasen yer sister,
or
hide´n in the barn. Thair´s real wi-men in thair, now go git one."
and
sent him inside. Once inside, Bobby explained to the madam that he
needed a`Real Woman´ so he could become a `Real Man´. The madam
smiled
at him: "Don´t worry, my boy, we´ll get a nice lass ta take care of
ya"
she promised. "Ya just do your part and make sure ya wear one of
these."
at that, the madam took a condom out of a drawer, unwrapped it, and
showed him how to put it on, by rolling it down over her thumb.
Bobby,
properly armed, parted with the money his brother gave him, and
dashed
up the stairs to Room Twelve, where a cheerful farmgirl quickly
showed
him the ropes. After he'd come, a frown passed over her face. "The
#$^%
rubber must have torn," she muttered. "I'm as soaked as a swamp..."
"Oh
no it didn't M'am" Bobby offered heartily, holding up his thumb as
evidence. "It's as good as new..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get a new CPAP or BiPAP machine
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:



My Dear Honey,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I
value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I
hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort
Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset, I shall be home before midnight. When the
man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the
dining room table:
My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you
that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at
our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read
this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young,
virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful
businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will
understand that we are in the same situation, although with one
small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Peggy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Mirrored Image
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John w/ Those Unforgettable Patsy Cline Songs
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Canada Day:
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Woot: One Deal a Day
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Public Toilets
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For Soccer Fans
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3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!

4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!

5) No additional hardware is needed!

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Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Free Typing Game
http://www.freetypinggame.net/play.asp

Feature-Rich Screenshot Program.
http://shutter-project.org/

Easy web authoring
http://www.kompozer.net/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.

Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
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If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
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potentially harmful file errors in your registry.

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
Dog Logic
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doglogic.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.blakjak.demon.co.uk/cat_menu.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!

Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
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computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!

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Movie Clips

Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm

Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm

Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm

Worst Best Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uiygtyutf5.htm

Yellow Snow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvfrtd6.htm

Funny Stuff
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sadfswa.htm

German Coast Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm

Gun Control
http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm

How Aliens Fish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm

Idiot 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jackson Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-They knew that something was wrong when all the color drained
back into him.

-On the way to hospital, he woke up temporarily and asked to be
put on the children's ward.

-What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?
Disney films can still touch children.

-Michael Jackson has cancelled all his upcoming dates. They were
James (aged 6) and Thomas (aged 9).

-The Jackson 5 are offering a 20% discount on their reunion.

-How could you tell when Michael Jackson was having an orgy at
Neverland? All the toy tractors parked outside.

-The funeral has had to be put off until next Thursday because
plastic recycling won't be collected until then.

-I don't feel anything about his death. He just never touched me
when I was younger...

-Michael Jackson liked to take young boys for a treat.
Unfortunately, he took them up the shitter.

-Madonna cant believe her luck... 3 more black kids up for
adoption.

-In honor of Michael Jackson passing away, McDonalds is
introducing the MJ Burger... 50 year old meat between 10 year
old buns.

-I heard they tried to use a defibrillator on MJ but it just
melted his chest.

-Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15? Because it's when the big
hand touches the little hand.

-Another report said that he was in fact in the children's ward
having a
stroke...

-It seems that there were drugs involved - they found Class A in
his bedroom, Class B in his bathroom and Class C in his living
room. An inquest into his death has been ruled out - it would
just be a whitewash...

-He hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin visited him.
Now they can finally make Home Alone 4.

-His last will and testament declared that he wanted to be melted
down into a Playstation 4 so that children can continue to play
with him when he's dead. The alternative is that he can be made
into shopping bags so that he can remain white, plastic and
dangerous for children to play with.

Peggy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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ALL CARE DENTAL PLAN

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm

Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm

Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm

bush chenney
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kghdfkhfkgjhglhk.htm

bush pee
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnvx,,,xmkvjgfd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The abdominal toning Flex Belt is truly an awesome advance in
technology. This device is by far the most effective we have ever
seen of its kind. The results are astonishing - The Flex Belt is
proven to work for everyone. In fact - in a clinical trial done
with The Flex Belt, 100% of the participants received results in
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as a class II medical device for direct to consumer sales. The Flex
Belt literately flexes your stomach muscles for you so they get a
very concentrated work out. It makes it so that anyone can exercise
their abs anywhere and anytime and it does all the work for you. You
can use it at work, around the house, while taking a walk, while
exercising, watching TV etc. For consumers who don't have the time
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their stomachs through traditional exercise, this product is
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that are in awesome shape and already have a great stomach - it will
simply make it more strong and defined. Visit the Official Website
by Following this URL:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it,
One day, in a glass,
He saw the hole of his ass,
And then broke his neck trying to fuck it.
______________________________

A soi-disant Mynheer Professor
Met a beat-up old whore from Odessa.
She applied all her arts
To his genital parts,
But they only grew lesser and lesser.
________________________________

A chap they all call Aloysius,
Of his wife and a guy grew suspysius.
And quicker than you'd think
He found them by the sink
But they were only doing the dysius.

Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCLUSIVE OFFER!
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Get Bug Bam in time for your next vacation, golf game, hunt, hike or
outdoor event.

http://buffaloschips.com/bug

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenna, despite her good looks and charm, had still never
dated any boys at the age of 19. Today she was asking her
aunt Martha for advice with boys.

"Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing
Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to
dribble on my boyfriend."

"Swallow." her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular
later on."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read this year!! You can
find out in this letter how to reduce heat stress and improve your
life and the life of those you care about!! with a Body Cooling
Vest.

Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15. A
Decent Cool Vest retails for around $180. Get better results
at work and feel better at the same time.

http://buffaloschips.com/cool

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny is visiting the zoo with his mother. They go to the
elephant exhibit, where a big old bull elephant is taking a leak.
Johnny
points to the pachyderm's privates and says, "Mommy, what's that?"

Mommy, seeing the huge penis, turns bright red and says, "Oh, that's
nothing. Never mind. Come along now."

A few weeks later, Johnny is at the zoo with his father. Johnny
grabs
his dad by the hand, and pulls him over the elephants, saying he has
a
question. Once there, Johnny points to the elephant's penis and
says,
"Daddy, what's that?"

Dad replies, "Didn't your mother tell you?"

"Yes, she told me it was nothing."

"Well, your mom is spoiled, son."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flies Away

Stop swatting, shooing, and spraying and get the ultimate
green invention for getting rid of flies.

Protect your farm, your home, your property, and your
barbecues from fly invasion.

Just add water plus the bait and hang outside. That's it!

Flies Away makes your home a No-Fly Zone.

Traps & Kills up to 20,000 flies!

Currently used by farmers, equestrians to get rid of flies.

Patented, bio-degradable and non-toxic bait, used by the U.S.
Military.

http://buffaloschips.com/fly

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1634

Home Again

With all aboard, the plane taxied down the runway and took off.

Rob: See Tami we made it quite fine.

Tami is smiling.

Rob: Why are you smiling so?

Tami: Because the rest of my shoe order is on your ship.

Rob: What?

Tami: Yes, I had to have the fawn-colored black shoes and the
pearl colored black pair, along with the other eight hundred and so
pair after all they were on sale.

Rudy: Does that mean the sales lady retired?

Tami: Frumpt!

Katie: I need some smelling salts for Rob!

later....

Rudy: We are approaching the KSR airport.

Tami: Where is it?

Katie: See down there, the three doghouses..

Tami: That patch of grass?

Rudy: We have landed there without incident three of four times.

Tami: Ack!

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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Ripley

Netflix trailer: t.ly/kpQ5k It's creepy. And slow. And in black and white. And if this bothers you, stay away. But if in college you w...