THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Confucius say,
" Treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner,
if she stops sucking, replace the bag. "
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby....
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend or family member:
LOSE ONE.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
a pot to piss in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e020.html
we'll come back later
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e021.html
intelligence is sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e022.html
what your family thinks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e023.html
good news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e024.html
good luck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e025.html
a harsh winter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e026.html
a great dentist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e027.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
cute little kitty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8647.html
optical illusions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8648.html
Jimmy Kimmel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8649.html
sexual organs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8650.html
how to shampoo a bald guy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8651.html
japanese game show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8652.html
___________
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !
______________
This guy has been married for about 6 months when
he runs into a guy from his wedding party. The guy
asked him how married life was treating him. The
married guy replied, "Great except for one problem,
our sex life. Everytime I am getting off, she isn't,
and every time she is, I'm not. We are frustrated
because we heard it is so much better when you get
off at the same time." The guy from the wedding
party replied, "There is a simple solution to
that. The next time you are and she's not, give her
a little jab in the stomach. For some reason that
makes women get off." Even though it was against his
better judgment, the married man promised to try it,
and the two parted their ways. About 3 months later,
by chance they met up again and of course the guy
is eager to find out what had happened. He replied,
"Hey, is everything better on the home front?" The
married man replied, "Not exactly!!! I did exactly
as you told me to. I was getting ready to get off, so I
punched her in the stomach. She pissed in my face and
almost bit my dick off!"
__________________
The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject
of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about
the butler?" the rich woman said. "A set of wine
glasses?" the maid suggested. The woman frowned icily.
"He doesn't really need that. A butler never
entertains. He'll get a tie."The maid grimaced,
but said only, "What about a dress for Jenny, the
serving girl?"The woman frowned again. "She doesn't
really need a new dress. She'll only get in trouble.
We'll get her another apron."The conversation
continued in the same vein, and the maid was chafing
At her employer's arrogance when they reached her
husband."I assume you want to get him something he
really needs, madam?" the maid replied."Of course,"
the woman replied."Then what about three more inches?"
said the maid.
_______________
I was on my way to Wal*Mart this morning to do my
part to stimulate the economy and I found myself
behind this little rice burner of a car bearing a
bumper sticker that read... " We did it! - Obama /
Biden ".Well, as luck would have it she pulled
along side of me at a red light about a half mile
down the road. I beeped my horn and gave her big
thumbs up. She rolled down her window and I said...
"I love your bumper sticker ! " She thanked me and
I quickly added, " It's good that you are taking
responsibility for your mistake ! "She gave me the
finger and drove off
____________
Negotiations between union members and their employer
were at an impasse. The union denied that their
workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave
provisions set out by their contract.One morning
at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator
held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper,
"This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly
ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament
with an excellent score.A union negotiator broke the
silence in the room."Wow!" he said. "Just think of
the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!"
_____________
I went to the pub with my grandfather and bought a
couple of pints of beer. My grandfather looked at his
beer for a second and then, "SLURP", he drank it down
in one."Are you alright granddad?" I asked. "Yep" he
said. So, I went to the bar and bought another two pints.
Again, he looked at it for a second and then, "SLURP",
down it all went again in one go."Come on granddad.
Tell me why you're drinking like that." "It's ever
since the accident," he said.
"What accident's that?" I asked.
"I was in here last night and some bastard spilled my beer."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Nipple Bitten Off
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfas.htm
Camel Toe Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdfa.htm
Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/zsasd.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Which Christmas Elf Are You?
http://tinyurl.com/ybsozs4
Diary of a Mad Cat
http://tinyurl.com/yzr436d
Top 11 Worst Women Drivers
http://tinyurl.com/yzy2wkz
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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