Plants gone potty!: June 2012

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER/ for sunday

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

"In doing what we ought we deserve no praise"
__________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS

Its the weekend! So, what have you got planned?
I'm not gonna do much,
I'm just gonna chill and hang out on my back
porch, mostly

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________

THE COMICS

facts of life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n051.html

fireworks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n052.html

leave that alone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n053.html

the gift that keeps on giving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n054.html

a hot one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n055.html

not responsible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n056.html

silly boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n057.html

haven't seen you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n058.html

mother and I
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n059.html

rough water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n060.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

7 up commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1773.html

bowling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1774.html

award winning funny commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1775.html

Valentine's Day Sexy Lingerie Shopping Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1776.html

Q: What is the difference between garbage and an ugly girl?
A: Garbage gets picked up at least once a week.

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it.
____________

When asked by their host if she would like another drink,
the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said,
"No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it and after two drinks ...anyone can!"
_______________

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch,
totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma
of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing? "she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work, "the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked! "the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress, "the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress, "she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress,
he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.
He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best
perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on
the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her
husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing, "he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
______________

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
"Implants?"

I don't do drugs anymore. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

An idea not coupled with action will never
get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied.
Arnold H. Glasow

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

____________

THE COMICS

oh c'mon stupid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n041.html

young man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n042.html

easy to see
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n043.html

ding dong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n044.html

what are you dreaming about
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n045.html

when he barks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n046.html

time to admit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n047.html

take a long walk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n048.html

my god, Willie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n049.html

I can teach you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n050.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

need a new job?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1770.html

Nando's hot chicken
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1771.html

A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned
that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important
as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that
sleep was a factor. Another replied:
"Of course sleep is a factor. The only time Im not eating is when Im sleeping!"
_________________

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly
complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without
saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
_______________

this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:
wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.
husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.
wife: i'm flat chested.
husband: i don't believe u..prove it.
So she takes off her shirt.
husband: holy shit i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have to tell u too.
wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.
husband: im "weighed like a baby".
wife: i don't believe you, prove it.
So he takes off his pants.
wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!
husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!
_______________

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood.
Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the
lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then
another couple behind some bushes by the house.
He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed
woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.
"This is a brothel", replied the madam.
"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.
"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."
____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

I have tried being normal occasionally.
But it gets pretty boring. so I go back to being me.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, are you beating the heat? I read on one of
the weather websites that yesterday, 27 states of
the union were under a heat wave advisory/ clean air
action day. Here in beautiful West Michigan, it reached
a record breaker with 97 degrees. The heat index was 105.
Typically I do very little on days like this but it was my
85 year old mamma's birthday and I decided to go out and about
to get a birthday card, so off to Meijer I went. (If you are not
from the Mid north part of the nation, a Meijer is sortof a local
version of Walmart) While there, I checked out the sales and spent
a nice hour or so leisurely enjoying the cool of the store, and bought
about 20 bux worth of stuff I didn't need. And on the way home, realized
I'd forgotten the card for momma, which is why I went there in the first place.
So, I called her instead. What was she doing on a hot day like this? She
was out trimming her hedges. Go figger, huh? If you are struggling in the
heat here is a little neat idea I saw on youtube on building your own air
conditioner. Never tried it, but sounds like it should work. If it only
costs about 40 bux as they say to setup, might be worth the try.
http://youtu.be/_PwplxoJSDw If that don't work, you can also simply take a tray
filled with ice and set it in front of the fan. As it melts it will help cool
off the room. Altho the problem is that occasionally it will spit a drop or two
of water at you. Take a lot of showers. that is a good tip. Fill a sock with rice
put it in the freezer till it freezes, and when you take it out, put it up against
your body or chest. Will help to keep your body core cool. And of course be sure
to drink a lot of water. I went to the hosp. once with heat exhaustion and
dehydration. No fun.
TRUST ME...s' truth.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________

THE COMICS

medically speaking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n031.html

along with age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n032.html

behind the milk carton
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n033.html

for my birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n034.html

childproof
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n035.html

the thing about boobs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n036.html

I ain't sleepin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n037.html

a new doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n038.html

politicians
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n039.html

you shore is righ
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n040.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Dog Steals Sandwich from Child
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1766.html

Happy Happy Joy Joy Ren and Stimpy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1767.html

pepsi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1768.html

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got
worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, - "that part where hair has grown is called
Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair". The girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, - "my monkey has grown hair".
Her sister smiled and said - "that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .
Mom fainted...
___________________

Eight Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active

1. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.

2. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass

3. Grandpa grabs crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn."

4. Granny found cuffed to her walker.

5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

6. Grandma looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.

7. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.

8. Craftmatic adjustable bed set for "doggy style."
____________

I was in a bar on Saturday night.......had a few drinks......
I noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had strong
accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One
of them screamed, "It's WALES, you IDIOT!" So, I immediately
apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"
That's all I remember.....
_______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

"Never, never,
be afraid to do what's right,
especially if the well-being of
a person or animal is at stake.
Martin Luther King Jr.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Recent medical studies continue to show
that obesity and diabetes are definite
concerns in America. A recent study from
a Washington think tank speculates that
much of the issue is a result of failure
to get more excersize. Diet alone is not
enough. says one leading researcher, our
techy style lives with wifi everywhere and
texting etc, we fail to achieve the excersize
correctly in the amount that our bodies need
for a healthy lifestyle. So, I have a new
invention. I think it will help turn things
around and help trim the fat from American
waist lines. What do you think?

Send me $19.95 plus shipping right away.
I'll send you one right away!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue

Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

Why is it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n021.html

who says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n022.html

the last time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n023.html

I've been trying
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n024.html

at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n025.html

I knew it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n026.html

ailing memory
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n027.html

gobal warming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n028.html

and the line went slack
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n029.html

weight watchers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n030.html
______________

THE COMICS

Honda
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1762.html

big bad burglar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1763.html

Pee Pants Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1764.html

Alcohol Test Trick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1765.html

Women with Big Boobs...

..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have men give them the best seats on a bus.
..have a neat place to carry spare change
..have always been the center of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
..can always carry a little extra cash
..always float better
..know where to look first for lost earrings
..rarely lack for a slow dance partner
..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
..never have to buy a car with airbags
..have a place to carry a extra beer.

Women with Little Boobs...

..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
..always look younger
..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
..can always see their toes and shoes
..can sleep on their stomachs
..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
..know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
..know that everything more than a handful is wasted
..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out
..never be accused of having implants.
_________________

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named
Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'
________________

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776,
working on the constitution. It had been a long day.
"Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it? "
"Shall I open the window? "
"No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves. "
"Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution? "
"What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work? "
"Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about, 'Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?
_______________

"Redneck Tidbits"

How many rednecks does it take eat a possum?
. Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

How do you know if a redneck is married?
There's chewing tobacco stains on both sides of
the truck.

What's the difference between a good ol' boy
and a redneck?
The good ol' boy raises livestock.
The redneck gets emotionally involved.

What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama?
Nice tooth!

________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

Endurance is not just the ability to bear
a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.
William Barclay

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Not sure why I did it, but I did. I have a
ton of old computer junk sitting in the closet
of my den. Its a bone yard where you can find all
kinds of things. And when I decided to clean it out yesterday,
I'm sure that the war department must have thot that I'd
gone crazy, or been brain washed by aliens. Not that
she was complaining, mind you. But that is another story.
The first item I pulled out was my old external 56k
dial up modem! In the early days of computer tech, it was not
uncommon to run out of slots in your computer for all the stuff
u wanted, so, then you had some devices running externally.
And it was almost as big as the computer itself!
Now if that was not a treasure! Unfortunately,
after much thot process, over its value, I decided it had to
go. It appears very doubtful that dial up internet will
ever make a come back again. and of course I tossed many
other fine examples of by gone technology.
You know what tho, kindof brings a little tear to mind when
you remember this phrase...
"When are you going to get off the Internet?
I need to make a phone call!"

oh well, sigh
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

PS:
any body want to volunteer to fix these broken 8 track tapes?
my 8 track player ate them.
______________

THE COMICS

my compliments
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n011.html

navy seals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n012.html

leaving already?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n013.html

irrisistable
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n014.html

call the cops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n015.html

good better best
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n016.html

pregnancy test
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n017.html

never happens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n018.html

suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n019.html

if I died
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n020.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Funny army moments, funniest video ever !
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1757.html

Most Shocking - Undercover Stings
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1758.html

Funny lift jokes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1759.html

Dramatic Chihuahua
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1760.html

Simon's Cat in 'Double Trouble'
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1761.html

I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking
and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to
have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from
the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago,
I was out for a few drinks with some friends
at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather
nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly
over the limit, I did something I've never done before:
I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block
but as it was a bus, they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as
I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.
_____________________

Q. Why are Scientology and Proctology alike?
A. It's all a load of shit.

Q. What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood?
A. You can't gargle sand

Q. What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully?
A. Miracle whip.

Q. What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who gives good head?
A. Partially disabled.
________________

I'm about three years into my relationship now and I've started to
have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas
as to what the problem is. She bought me some Viagra,
and I've bought her a treadmill.
________________

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the
front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there.
He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married.
The man replies, "Yes, I am." The deputy then asks if he could see a
picture of the man's wife. The guy says, "Sure…" and gets a photo to
show them. The deputy says, "I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's
been hit by a truck." The guy replies, "I know, but she has a great
personality and is an excellent cook."
__________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell
the roses, for you only get to play one round.
Ben Hogan

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, the supreme court struck down the immigration law
for Arizona. Is unfortunate. States' rights now are not
as powerful as big brother rights. Sad time in America.
I can only hope they strike down the one law that SHOULD
be struck down.
GO FIGGER

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

________________

THE COMICS

browsers welcom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n001.html

its just not fair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n002.html

you is crazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n003.html

I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n004.html

Batman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n005.html

disappointed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n006.html

watch it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n007.html

This is Charlene
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n008.html

you're sick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n009.html

no nurse
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n010.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

The Benny Goodman Orchestra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1753.html

helicopter bath
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1754.html

change
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1755.html

the cellphone and the baboon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1756.html

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise.'
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly,
and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please, sir," says the waiter.
"What you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ah! So sorry," says the waiter.
"I bring you Peking Duck!"
________________
______________

A concerned patient asked the doctor if masturbation is harmful.
"Not usually," answered the doctor. "Not unless you do it too often."
"How about three times a day?" the patient asked.
"That seems a little excessive. Why don't you get a girlfriend?"
"Oh,... I already have a girlfriend," the patient replied.
"I mean a girl you can live with and have sex with?" asked the doctor.
The patient said, "I've got one just like that!"
So the doctor asked, "Then why do you masturbate three times a day?"
"Because,... she won't have sex during mealtimes!
______________

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.
She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called
Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair"
the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
Mom fainted.
_________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

You cannot enjoy the harvest
until you first labor in the field
John Wayne Gacy

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Ladies,
Keep your man clean...

support our sponsor and put in your order of
weener cleaner today!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

some people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m071.html

at the pearly gates
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m072.html

breaking news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m073.html

marry my daughter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m074.html

drink beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m075.html

marriage and horseradish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m076.html

inadequacy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m077.html

set them free
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m078.html

the gangbang
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m079.html

know em
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m080.html
_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

brewed by women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1749.html

fuji film
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1750.html

redneck skeet shooting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1751.html

Jerry Sandusky, HAVE YOU HEARD THAT . . .

1. Penn State is the only University where you can major in minors!

2. You may hate Jerry Sandusky, but at least he drove slowly through school zones.

3. His defensive football philosophy at Penn State was to "always cover the Tight End."

4. He had to stop going to church. The priests kept fighting over who got to hear his confession.
_________________

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself
a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my
pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically,
I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times
for leaving the keys in the ignition.My theory is the ignition is
the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.
As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed
that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered;
I always call him "honey" in times like these.
"I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been
dropped, but then I heard his voice. He barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep, it's the golden years.
_______________

A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving
west and the CB crackles to life ."Hey Roadway driver who's
the two biggest faggots in America?" comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies . "I don't know".
The other trucker says "You and your brother ".
Well the Roadway driver gets all pissed off but the other driver
tells him "Its just a joke tell it to the next truck you see."
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees
another truck. He gets on the CB and says "Hey, other truck
do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?"
The other trucker says "I don't know, who?"
The Roadway driver replies "Me and my brother"
___________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER for Sunday

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool
of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job.
—Erwin T. Randall

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
There is a lotta stuff going on tomorrow,
so, I'm uploading tomorrow's issue early for you to enjoy!

Negative thinking is like your backyard.
Have you ever noticed how weeds can take over your back yard
and grow wild? Here's the next question: Do you ever
wonder where weeds come from? Really, who planted those
seeds? The short is answer is, NOBODY.
Your mind's weeds are automatic. They do not need your permission or
your consent to blossom. You don't need to have any
motivational thoughts. All you have to do is to leave your
yard unattended for a few days, in your mind,
and you'll start seeing them everywhere.
On the other, you would NOT wake up and notice tomatoes,
lettuce, or cabbage growing automatically in your mind's yard, right?
So, why is that? Well, that's where the power of having positive
and motivational thoughts comes into play.
You have to actively grow what you desire in your mind's yard.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_____________

THE COMICS

bitch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m061.html

ideal husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m062.html

whose idea?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m063.html

team player
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m064.html

procrastination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m065.html

oops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m066.html

painting the closet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m067.html

making progress
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m068.html

simms beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m069.html

morning neighbor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m070.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

get rid of them
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1745.html

magic trick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1746.html

playing in the water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1747.html

naked joke of the week
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1748.html

"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?"
"It was a disaster. We were nude in bed in heavy
foreplay and he had a premature ejaculation."
"What did he say when it occurred?"
"He just said I was the loveliest girl he had ever come across."
____________

"My boyfriend and I had hardly finished one argument when I
screwed up and started another one." said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Margaret.
"Well," says Jill "you know when you're done with a big fight
and your significant other suggests a little 'make- up sex'?"
"Yeah" says Margaret.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask, 'Does it have to be with you?'"
_________________

Q. What do a coffin and a condom have in common ?
A. They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other !

Q. Why is being in the military like a blowjob ?
A. The closer you get to discharge , the better you feel.

Q. What Do You Call A Woman With ESP And PMS ?
A. A Know-It-All Bitch !
_____________

THT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

One second of hate will cause a lifetime of pain
Mark Stroman

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Finally, the heat wave has broken.
After several days of sweltering,
the temps last night fell to 65 degrees.
Feels wonderful! and of course this
is the first day after the war department
bought a new window airconditioner for the
living room:)
Go figger!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________

THE COMICS

CPS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m051.html

what a coincidence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m052.html

while I was jogging
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m053.html

anniversary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m054.html

lets go back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m055.html

marriage counselor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m056.html

on your salary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m057.html

hypnosis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m058.html

confidentiality agreement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m059.html

a late snack
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m060.html
___________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Extreme Sports Gone Wrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1741.html

Fun - We're Not Young (Yahoo!'s SketchY Parody)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1742.html

A 911 Call That You Will Never Forget
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1743.html

Funny Video candid camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1744.html

A guy comes home from work early and finds his wife laying
naked in bed. "What are you doing in bed this time of the day?" he asks.
She replies, "I ate some Mexican and now I have a stomach
ache so I thought I would lay down for a while."
"Hey, where in the hell did this cigar come from," he shouts.
From under the bed a voice says, "Havana, Senor!"
_______________

Two lawyers had been marooned on a dessert island for almost a year
after their ship had sunk during a terrible storm. One day while walking
along the beach, the two lawyers find a beautiful unconscious woman
washed up on the shore.
The first lawyer asks the second lawyer, "Think we should fuck her?"
And the second lawyer replies, "Outta what?"
___________

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.
She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.
He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".
"I can't," replies the blonde, "this chair's got arms."
______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and
die to find out there isn't, than live my life as
if there isn't and die to find out there is.
Albert Camus

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

Amidst flagging sales and an economically weak market,
Hooters hopes to increase its revenue with a new type of
restaurant, designed primarily to attract females...

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________

THE COMICS

I almost choked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m041.html

here I sit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m042.html

sleeping beauty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m043.html

a woman of extraordinary talent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m044.html

ex boy friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m045.html

wet dreams
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m046.html

the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m047.html

what is a wonderful evening
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m048.html

a dog on the loose
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m049.html

when men are born
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m050.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

The Honeymooners "Hello mom" - part 1/3
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1737.html

Evil Grocery Nun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1738.html

Too much sex ruins childrens' education
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1739.html

funny tv commercials
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1740.html

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who
said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign
exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775,"
he said.
"Very good! -- Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for
the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more
difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but
what you can do for your country'?"
Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F.
Kennedy, 1961."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of
yourselves, Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about
our history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs."
"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!? she angrily demanded.
Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right! -- Now who said that?"
Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!"
Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! -- If you
say anything else -- I'll kill you!"
Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson
to the children testifying against him, 2004."
The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the
floor, someone said, "Oh shit, We're screwed!"
Little Akio said quietly, "The American people, November 6th, 2012."
___________

One afternoon, in a land where Eskimos and Scotsman run into
each other on the highway fairly often, an Eskimo was driving
down the road when his truck breaks down. Shortly after, a
friendly Scotsman pulls off to the side of the road to help him.
Upon inspecting the smoking engine, the Scot proclaims to the Eskimo,
"I looks like you blew a seal!"
Abashed, the Eskimo replied, "Yeah! Well... you guys screw sheep!"
_________________

Dr. Smith recently got his doctorate in psychology and his first assignment
was to visit the community loony bin retirement home for the patient's
monthly mental examination.
He sees his first patient and asks him, "Ralph, how much is six times six?"
Ralph responds "74." He asks the next resident, "Tim, how much is six times
six?" Tom responds, "Thursday." Expecting more of the same, he approaches
Randy and asks him, "Randy, how much is six times?" "THIRTY-SIX" replies Randy.
"That's right Randy, well done! Now tell me how did you know that answer?"
"Oh it was easy... I just subtracted 74 from Thursday!"
_______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER/ for sunday

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER for Sunday

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