Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Dinner at Nancy's yesterday was fantastic as always. Eva and
Nancy's dog Jordy chased each other for a good half hour and
they both slept well last night. It was hard not having Mom with
us for the first time but we had a good time.
From the archives for the dog lovers in the group.
From Jlona and Philip Richey at http://www.tracksof
Long ago in the deepest of winters all of the animals on Earth were
abuzz with the news. "HE IS BORN! HE IS BORN!" cried the snowy owl.
"Come one and all, rejoice!" roared the mighty lion. "Bring gifts to
the new King!" The forest grew bright with the din of excitement.
Every creature was running towards the star. The noise was so loud
and joyful that it traveled distant lands.
In a quiet glen, under a bramble bush, a small lonely dog raised his
head from his slumber and heard the sounds from afar. He raised his
little head and wondered. Slowly he raised his tired body and
sniffed the air. He knew something was amiss - but he knew not what.
A voice ever so sweet was singing in the distance, this he could
hear. The words were not at all clear, but the sound was of
waterfalls, and misty mornings and everything dear...
Eagerly he followed the sound and soon saw a star. It shone so
brightly his little eyes watered. What was this shiny thing that
happily glowed? What could be happening that would bring about such
a lovely sight? His little legs beat the path for many days. He
became tired and hungry but still he walked on. He had to follow the
sound of that voice. The voice that reminded him of warmer and
kinder times. He had to follow the light of the star. The star told
him of happy things to come.
At last he came into a clearing and his eyes beheld a mystifying
sight. Animals were everywhere, and each had a precious gift. Some
brought shiny berries from the forest, some brought beautiful
leaves, some brought twigs from the rarest of trees and even some
brought the most precious wildflowers of the fields. They were
laying these gifts at the entrance of a stable.
Above the stable the light of the star twinkled more brightly than
before. He turned to the deer and asked: "What is all this? Where
have I come?"
"You have come to see the new King. He is Born. Where are your gifts
for the child?" asked the deer reproachfully.
"I have no gifts. I didn't know..." said the lonely little dog with
his head hung low.
The deer sneered and snubbed and quickly walked away as he tossed
his head indignantly. The little dog's body trembled all over, his
little tail flew between his little legs, and his little head hung
lower than ever. He was ashamed. And yet...he still wanted to get a
little peek at the New King.
Quietly, ever so carefully, he crept over to the stable. He
was so small he could easily hide under the other animals. Ever so
sleekly he crept up to the manger and peeked inside.
"WHO ARE YOU!" boomed the voice of the Lion. "WHY DO YOU DARE NOT
BRING GIFTS FOR THE NEW KING?"
The little dog cowered, much humbled. He laid his little head at the
foot of the manger and hid his eyes. He was ready to be killed by
the Lion, and yet he spoke ever so quietly, ever so meekly, ever so
bravely: "I have no gifts, I have no berries, or twigs, or bright
flowers of the field...all I have is my life and I will gladly give
that, for I have shamed all my brethren tonight.
He waited - with his eyes closed, thinking that if he did die
tonight, at least he would die beneath the cradle of his King.
That's when a warm and gentle hand was upon him. He did not dare to
open his eyes, until he heard a woman's voice speak:
"Do not fear little one. You are safe here. This bramble in your fur
speaks of the gift you have brought to him."
The lonely little dog opened his eyes and looked up at the woman.
"But I have no gift to offer, save for myself, and that is very
little..."he shyly protested.
The woman smiled and scratched his ears. "Little dog, you traveled
far to see the King. that is gift enough when it comes from your
heart. What gift is more precious than one given in innocence and
humility? No little one, you are welcome here." As she spoke she
raised the little dog up.
"Behold, your King, the Son of Man. You shall serve him well."
And the baby smiled. So it came to pass and dog was lonely no more.
And dog has served man ever since, loyal to a fault, and humble he
remains.
A gift from God to us, for who, but dog will travel miles without
explanation?
Who, but dog will cower from you even if he is not wrong?
Who, but dog will take a scolding even when he is not to blame?
Who, but dog is content to die at our feet if he so must?
Let us care for it well.
I want to wish all my friends far and near a very Merry Christmas!!!
Author unknown
Enjoy the Chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coffee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A co-op in Germany ordered Co-op coffee from Inter-Provincial
Co-operatives Ltd. While the coffee was enroute, a few bags split
open, making it
possible for rats to nest in them. The German Co-op sent the
following
letter to Inter-Provincial Co-op Ltd.
Herr John Kronk,
Hinterprovincial Ko-Operatives Ltd,
Vinnipeg, Manitobas.
Schentlements,
Der last two pecketches ve got from you of koffee vas mitt
rattschidt gemix. Der koffee may be gute, but der durds scboils der
taste. Ve did not see der rattschidt in der zemple vitch you send
us.
It make zo mutch time to pick der rattdurds from der koffee, dat itz
hardly
wirt it. Ve
order der koffee klean but you schipt schidt mett it. It vas a
miztake, ja?
Ve like you to
schip us der koffee in vun zack und der rattschidt in annuder; den
ve mix it
to suit der customer.
Write please if ve shud schip der schidt bek und keep der koffee, or
if ve
shud keep der schidt
und schip der koffee bek, or schip der hole schidten works bek?
Ve vant to do rite in dis madder, but ve don't like all dis
rattschidt
bisness.
Mitt Mutch Respects,
Karl Gummenschidt, Mgr.,
Deutchland Ko-op Ltd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
nothing I can do
http://www.thepostm
rescue mission
http://www.thepostm
the smurfs
http://www.thepostm
Farting In A Womens Toilet
http://sydesjokes.
Farting Preacher
http://sydesjokes.
Faryl Smith - Ava Maria http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got a sweater for Christmas. I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
Fearing that she might be a hemophiliac, the prostitute went to see
her doctor. "It's awful," she says. "Every time I get even a small
cut, it takes days for the bleeding to stop." "I see," said the
physician. "And how much do you lose when you get your period?" She
thought for a moment, then answered, "About five grand."
He was so dumb he took a roll of toilet paper to a crap game?
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is,
however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys
happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the
conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found
is a Lesbian. (Fran Lebowitz)
I have a friend who every Christmas comes to dinner in his wife's
clothes. Once a year he likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
Rita Garcia confessed after bragging to friends about how she got
even with her ex. Garcia broke into her estranged husband's
apartment and located unused condoms in a drawer. She carefully
opened a condom and put peppered chili powder in one, resealed it
and waited for the results. After a moment of passion with his
19-year-old girlfriend, Pedro was rushed to the hospital with his
manhood on fire. Rita, upon her being charged with second degree
assault said, "He wanted hot sex with that 19-year-old and he's now
had it."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
25 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU A REAL MAN.....
1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her
hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She
didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it
to kids makes you the man.
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart
Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning
the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it
here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting
and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of
other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your
coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then
nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while
everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint
with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even
an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been
partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical
evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?"
Grr, what does it look like.
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for
you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the
past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in
line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can
safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-
that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't
mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pssed. However,
the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to
the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations,
you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, BandQ would have little
changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look
with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the
plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The
only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get
straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is
then. Seven. See ya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher
do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which,
technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have
toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we
can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting
on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you
didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain
haemorrhage"
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are
you mad, bint?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's
right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh|t.
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C*** - and punching him on the shoulder.
Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while
you were in hospital".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
French Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years ago during the battle of Britain (a small island off mainland
Europe for you chaps reading in the states!) a famous French (From
the noun France meaning a bigger country on mainland Europe situated
close to Britain!) fighter pilot had evaded capture by the Germans
and was now the RAF's (Royal Air Force
chaps) top flying ace. having come back from one harrowing sortie,
Herve (pronounced Ur - vay) the sole surviving member of the
squadron crash landed his damaged & smoking spitfire on the grass
runway..
"Fuel up another one" shouts Herve "I fight the dreaded Germans on
my own"
He duly got into a new plane flew across the channel (a sea between
Britain & France) and when over northern France encountered a large
squadron of German planes. Throwing caution to the wind Herve lined
them up in his sights and dived into attack.
He was promptly, unsurprisingly, shot down and crashed in a farmers
field.
Climbing from the smoking wreckage Herve is confronted by an angry
farmer brandishing a shotgun and threatening to "blow his German
head off". (the French fought the Germans in WW2 and were on "our
side").
"non non" says Herve "I am Herve the famous French fighter pilot and
have been shot down you idiot farmer"
The fame of Herve had even spread to this little farm in northern
France and now reassured the farmer was delighted. Taking Herve's
flight bag in one hand and supporting the tired Herve with the other
the farmer led our intrepid hero back to his simple farm house for
some warming food and a glass of wine (this is an alcoholic drink
favoured in France. It has absolutely no relation to similarly
labeled drinks sold in the US - it is actually rather pleasant).
On entering the house the farmer introduces Herve to his wife and
his beautiful blonde 18-year-old daughter Nicole. After a fabulous
meal and a few more glasses of real wine, the farmer announces that
it is time for bed. But there was one problem, there were only 2
bedrooms, one for the farmer & his wife the other for Nicole (the
lovely young daughter - concentrate)
Herve swore on his honour that he would not lay a finger on Nicole
and could be trusted to share her bed for the night before escaping
the next day across the channel to Blighty (AKA Britain see comment
line one).
Needless to say that no sooner had Herve closed the bedroom door he
jumped the lovely young Nicole.
"Oh Herve, kiss me! kiss me!" cries Nicole
Herve reaches into his flight bag and brings out a bottle of Merlot
(see previous comment on wine) and splashes it on Nicole's lips.
"What are you doing, Herve?" says the startled Nicole.
"I am Herve, the famous French fighter pilot! When I have red meat,
I like to have red wine!"
She smiles and they start kissing.
When things began to heat up a little, Nicole says,
"Herve, kiss me lower."
Herve tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay from his
flight bag and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
"Herve! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Nicole.
"I am Herve the famous French fighter pilot! When I have white meat,
I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.
Nicole leans close to his ear and whispers, "Herve, kiss me lower!"
Herve, grabs a bottle of Brandy (a highly combustible alcoholic
drink made from grapes and much stronger than Budweiser) and pours
it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.
Nicole shrieks as she bats out her flaming bush then shouts angrily
at Herve,
"Herve, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
To which Herve replies,
"I am Herve the famous French fighter pilot and when I go down, I go
down in flames!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Salvation Army Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy who worked with my brother was transferred to the city where I
live. My brother called me and said this guy had cerebral palsy and
would need to hire some people to help him unload his van and
trailer when he got there. My brother asked if I had any ideas of
where his co-worker might find some day workers to help.
The Salvation Army had just had an article in the daily paper about
a new program they had to get people down-and-out on their luck some
day jobs. I told that to my brother and he said he`d tell the guy
who was transferring.
Later that day my brother called back to say he happened to hear his
co-worker, who was using a speaker phone, call the Salvation Army in
my city. He had dialed the number I provided. Someone answered his
call and said, "Salvation Army."
"What do you do?" asked the man.
"We save wicked men and women," came the reply.
He said, "Well, save me a wicked woman for Saturday night and please
send a couple of wickedly strong guys to help me move-in to my new
apartment on Friday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman who likes to monkey around with a lot of men could be called
an organ grinder.
A few of the guys were sitting at a table in the pub, watching the
Notre Dame game Saturday. We had ordered a round of draft beers and
after they were brought to the table, one of the guys, a visiting
German Lufthansa pilot, took his back to the bar. After telling the
female bartender why he wasn't happy with his beer, to our amazement
she hauled off and slapped him in the face. When he returned to the
table, somewhat stunned, I asked what happened and why she slapped
him. His puzzled reply was, "Hell I don't know, all I did was ask
her for some head."
Sorority girls don't talk during sex because their mothers taught
them never to talk to strangers.
911 Call: Woman: "I just had a baby and the doctor told me to do
those Kegel exercises - you know to tighten up things down there."
[giggle] Dispatcher: "Yes, ma'am, I understand. Are you in pain?"
Woman: "No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do
those exercises I have an orgasm." Dispatcher: "I'm sorry, did you
say 'orgasm'?" Woman" "Yes. Am I doing them right?" Dispatcher:
"Sounds like it to me!"
Are you going to the donkey roast tonight. It should be a lot of
fun. Everyone gets a piece of ass. (Richard Lederer)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Hello God
http://silverandgol
From Kathryn/Day After Christmas
http://adreamandasm
Music In My Soul
http://www.carolspo
Believe In Your Dreams
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Catch the Apples Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
The National Speed Trap Exchange Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Celebrities A-Z, before the fame
http://www.hardlyfa
Nat Geo Photog Contest Entries for 2009
http://www.boston.
ati.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Dynamic Pixel LED Keyboard - Is it to late Santa ? ? ? ? Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Website Midis
http://www.boomspee
3D Generator
http://www.int3d.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dognews.
Kitty Korner
http://www.ratemyki
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Movie Links
The Dildo Song
http://www.buffalos
The Elk
http://www.buffalos
Three Condoms Please
http://www.buffalos
Thunder Power
http://www.buffalos
Thunder Twin
http://www.buffalos
Time To Let Them Go
http://www.buffalos
Stay Fit
http://www.buffalos
Stethoscope
http://www.buffalos
China
http://www.buffalos
Super Models
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Suzuki
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dictionary Of Dating
ATTRACTION the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT1st SIGHT what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy people meet.
DATING the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and
energy
to
get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like
in
the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing
special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating
repulsive men.
EASY a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a
man.
EYE CONTACT a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a
man
that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many
woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not
necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a
woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has
some
flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
to by
the
man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
all the
talking.
IRRITATING HABIT what the endearing little qualities that initially
attract two people to each other turn into after a few months
together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly
proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.
SOBER condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
cheating bitch
http://www.buffalos
cheerleader2
http://www.buffalos
cheerleaders
http://www.buffalos
chess
http://www.buffalos
cheese burger
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new cinematic emporium
Is not just a super sensorium.
It's a highly effectual
Heterosexual
Mutual masterbatorium.
~~~~~
Hey look; it's the orifice girls
Wearing naught but a grin and some pearls.
They go about whorin'
So don't put your oar in,
You don't know what's under their curls
~~~~~~
There was once a sailor from whales,
An Expert at pissing in gales,
He could piss in a jar
From the top-gallent spar.
Without even wetting the sails.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mini Sewing Machine
Mini Sew-Wonder is the new cordless sewing machine. It's as powerful
as a full size machine, but lightweight, battery/AC adapter powered
and can be used right out of the box. Forget the hassle of ordinary
sewing machines that can be bulky and heavy.
Get the job done with Mini Sew-Wonder.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
True Meanings Of Male Statements
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "I need you."
True Meaning: "My hand is tired."
Statement: "I am different from all the other guys."
True Meaning: "I am not circumcised.
Statement: "I want a commitment."
True Meaning: "I'm sick of masturbation.
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "It's just orange juice, try it."
True Meaning: "Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my
head."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head
might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "I miss you so much."
True Meaning: "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to
look
good."
Statement
: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?"
True Meaning: "Is my penis really that small?"
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who the hell are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out
sooner
or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their
way
to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I'll give you a call."
True Meaning: "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than
see
you
again."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be frien
ds."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"
True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dryer Maid Dryer Ball
Get rid of pet hair from clothes, sheets and towels while they
tumble in your dryer. The Dryer Maid is like thousands of tiny lint
brushes in every load of laundry and it automatically releases it
into your lint trap for quick disposal.
Save money and time for only $14.99 + S&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to
test the French male's fabled expertise in the art of love-making.
On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended to do with
her.
"First," he replied, "I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will carry you
toze bed. And zen," he added triumphantly, "I will kiss ze navel."
"Big deal !!!" she said. "I've had my navel kissed before hundreds
of times."
"Ahhhhh, but of course" shrugged the Frenchman. "But...from ze
inside?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.
Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1747
Christmas Day Ole Christmas Day
Rudy: A-Rooo!!!
BJ: What is it boy?
Sandi: It is snowing!
Katie: Where is my sweater?
Diana: Yay, a white Christmas.
Rudy: Let me outside, I want to go run in the snow.
BJ: Be patient, here take this pain pill for your tisms.
Gulp!
BJ opens the door and out they go running through the snow...
Diana: I will get some warm food cooking, they will need something
soon.
An hour later, the dogs are sitting in front of the fireplace teeth
chattering, dad is drying them off with a towel, paying special
attention
to Katie whose fur is not as thick as Sandi's or as thick as Rudy's.
Diana: Who would like some hot Christmas cookies to go with her
warm Christmas Ham?
Rudy starts to cry....
BJ: And who like some warm Christmas pizza?
Sandi starts to cry.
BJ: and some warm green beans?
Katie starts to cry..
Diana: Okay dig in...., after the Blessing..
BJ: Thank you Lord for another good year. This year we did not
lose
anyone in this house to death for the first time in years. We thank
you
for that. Bless this food, this time of year for Your Son. Amen.
Ten seconds later.
BURP!!!!
Diana: You guys are supposed to taste the food!
The herd in Guthrie
From us to you!
Merry Christmas!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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