THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"
~Don Marquis
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
Thunderstorms crashed and boomed yesterday night. I'm
quite sure the old windows rattled hugely in this old house,
but I slept like a rock thru the whole thing. I do recall
Turk the dog,aka Carlos the rat, howled loudly for about
five minutes. He, like many doggies, is scared of thunderstorms.
It did very little, however to disturb my slumber. About 10
thousand Consumers energy customers lost their power.
we had no such misfortune. Its one of the few advantages of
living in the inner city. We are more likely to have an
electrical outtage from a car accident when the vehicle hits
the corner power station than we do from a storm.
Its another rainy type yucky week ahead. The weather man
does not have any kind words for us here in West Michigan
for the coming week. Thunderstorms and thundershowers. You
know, I have always wondered, what is the difference?
Partly sunny, partly cloudy. Life is full of contrasts.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE NEW 5$ FOOT LONG!
THE COMICS
my eyepod
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c040.html
energy crisis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c041.html
be polite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c042.html
Fred Flintstone says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c043.html
Hey Frank?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c044.html
at the wedding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c045.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
teeth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5536.html
does this goal count?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5537.html
Coca Cola
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5538.html
shark prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5539.html
wake up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5540.html
India
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5541.html
paranoid woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5542.html
happy spacemen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5543.html
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the
butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should
I do to prevent constipation in the future?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags!"
____________
King Ozymndias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates,
the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus,
the pawnbroker, to get a loan.
Crosus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. Don't you know who
I am? I am the king!"
Crosus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
_______________
Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young
woman at the other end of the bar.
"Bartender," he says, "give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab."
When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment
later he's at her side.
"That was very kind of you," she says. "Won't you sit down?"
After a few minutes of small talk, she says, "Let me be honest with you.
You're a very nice man, but I don't think you realize that I'm a professional.
I'd be delighted to go upstairs with you for a hundred dollars. Now, if that's
not what you had in mind, I certainly understand, and I'll say good-bye now,
no hard feelings." "I'm surprised," says Berkowitz. "But you're a beautiful lady,
and I like you, too. I've never done something like this before, but sure,
let's go upstairs." When they get to Berkowitz's room, he says, "I was wondering.
There's something about you that makes me think you might be Jewish."
"Well, I am," she replies a little defensively. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I'm Jewish, too," says Berkowitz. "And since we're both Jewish, I was
hoping you would give me a discount."
"Dammit," she replies, "I was afraid this would happen. Okay, twenty percent off.
But I want you to know, at these prices I'm not making any profit!"
_____________
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots
of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted
by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a
girl in the line said to the little fella.
Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles.
When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said,
while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles
are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me
one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into
his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles.
__________
Some time ago, there was this artist who worked from a
studio in his home. He specialized in nudes and had been
working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for
several months now.
As usual, his model reported and after exchanging the
usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress
for the day's work.
He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a
cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay
her for the day but that she could just go home; he just
wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the
least I can do."
He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They
were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk
and enjoying their tea when he heard the front door
open and close, then some familiar footsteps.
"Oh my gosh!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick!
Take all your clothes off!"
____________
"Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend.
"Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you
weren't watching?" Bob asked.
"Well, no," admitted the friend.
"Neither will John," replied Bob.
___________
BUFFALO Bill
Mustache Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aygt6.htm
Pussy Six Pack
http://www.buffaloschips.com/au8h76.htm
Six Shots
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajuh7.htm
______________
PAPA Thorn
Maze
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Maze.jpg
Cats & Dogma
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=movies-0046.jpg
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Samantha Swift & the Golden Touch
http://tinyurl.com/ozfjs8
Shoot Out 2
http://tinyurl.com/o3axet
Who Sleeps?
http://tinyurl.com/d8wblc
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment