Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Operation Fill The Plane
On July 4th 2009, DHL and Pizzas4Patriots have confirmation to FILL
a cargo jet with pizzas purchased from Uno Chicago Grill for the
troops
over in the Middle East.
Please help our cause with a donation and help spread the word.
http://www.pizzas4p
Hope you are enjoying the weekend, got some errands to run to help
Nancy as she got stuck with working today but I would like to leave
you with a thought. Over the past 2 months Charter Cable has sent
me 14 mail offers and called me eight times offering to upgrade
my services. If they can afford to waste all that money on postage,
paper, and people why do they have to raise the rate for cable
every few months?
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
ER Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My brother in law's sister is an RN at a Chicago hospital. One
evening,
when she was on emergency room duty, a young man came waddling into
the
room assisted by his young wife. "I want to speak to the doctor,"
he
says. "Could you tell me what the problem is?" replied the woman
behind
the desk. "I want to speak to the doctor," he replies. His wife
begins
to snicker. Eventually the doctor comes and gets the story. The
couple
are newlyweds. It was her birthday. The man decided to surprise her.
His plan was to insert a small birthday candle into his erect penis,
light it, and walk into the room singing "happy birthday to you."
Well,
when he inserted the little candle, he coughed, and the candle was
pulled out of sight. The efforts of his panic only caused the
candle to
go down further. The doctor had to sedate him with valium and
recruit
several of the ER staff to assist in extracting the candle. As the
young woman assisted her wobbly husband out to the car, the laughter
from the ER could be heard for blocks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Age Chart
http://www.buffalos
Love for the Car
http://www.buffalos
Good Day
http://www.buffalos
Ah Shit!
http://www.buffalos
Aint Gunna Make it
http://www.buffalos
Air Check
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Car Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Bergs went over to the local Oldsmobile dealership to pick out a
new
car. No sooner had gorgeous Mrs. Berg set foot on the car lot than
the
saleman's jaw dropped. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Never one
to
pass up a chance at a bargain, Berg pulled the salesman aside.
"She's
really something, eh?" he commented with a sly smile. The salesman
nodded dumbly, eyes glued to Mrs. Berg's cleavage. "Tell you what,"
Berg
proposed. "You've got a back room her, right? Let's take her back
there,
and if you can do everything I can do, I'll pay double the price of
the
best car on the lot. If you can't, I get it half-price." The
salesman
agreed enthusiastically, his gaze dropping to Mrs. Berg's perfect,
miniskirted ass. As soon as the door was closed, Berg pulled up his
wife's T-shirt and started fondling the luscious melons that popped
out.
The salesman followed suit energetically. Next Berg circled her
navel
with his tounge. The salesman licked her whole stomach, trying not
to
drool. Next Berg pulled up her teeny-weeny skirt, feeling the soft
down
of her inner thighs. The salesman followed, the slight tang of her
pussy
almost driving him insane. Next Berg pulled out his pecker and
folded it
in half. The salesman sighed. "What color d'you want?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
50 years ago, John Perez poured on his garden by mistake, a product
that we all have in our kitchens today. Days later, he saw that it
was effective to kill insects...
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From these experiences, he created dozens of recipes that enabled
him to eliminate insect infestation in indoor and outdoor situations
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After years of new improvements, he reveals --FOR YOUR OWN USE-- the
best recipes to get rid of harmful insects and to transform your
lawn into the greenest grass of your dreams.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late Show Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Director
(Presented By Ron Howard)
10. The stuntman called in sick - we're gonna set you on
fire
9. Sorry, I forgot to take the lens cap off
8. This piece of crap's going straight to DVD
7. Dammit, I keep forgetting to take the lens cap off
6. I've got my shot list, but can someone please find my
pants?
5. I'm drunk
4. Potsie, come quick! Ralph Malph's stuck in a phone
booth with the Polinga triplets
3. We need to do some reshoots because I licked the film
2. I hope you don't mind, I shot some footage of you in
the shower
1. OK Hanks, start Gumping it up!
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DATING HINTS FOR GENTLEMEN
There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to
say
on a date...
* Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I
wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
* No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix
alcohol
and penicillin.
* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
* People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.
* I used to come here all the time with my ex.
* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to
consider it.
* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't
hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
* I like clay. It's mushy.
* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used
to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people
I date just won't be as smart as I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rabbi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve
announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract.
He
explains that he is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay
him
more.
There is a hush. No-one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and
proclaims,
"If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every
year
and his wife with a mini-van to transport their children!" The
congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.
Sam Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If
the
Rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also
establish a foundation to guarantee the college educations of their
children!!" More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Goldfarb, age 70, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
Rabbi
stays, I'll give him sex !"
There is total silence.
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed
you
to say that?"
Sadie answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said,
"Screw the Rabbi!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny and his girl were parked one dark summer night in
Lovers
Lane, when all of a sudden she said, "Oh, don't do that, or I'll go
all
to pieces!" Little Johnny replied, "Go right ahead...I've got my
hand on
the piece I want!"
"Weapons of mass destruction.
with
us or against us." "Patriot Act." I want to be the first to say it--
The
emperor GWB. has no clothes.
"Calm Down, Ma'am," said the school counselor to the shattered mom.
"It's perfectly normal. Many boys Little Johnny's age masturbate."
"I
know," sobbed his red-eyed mother, wiping the tears with her
handkerchief, "but not in church."
What did the hillbilly virgin say to her partner after her first
orgasm?
"Get off me, dad. You're crushing my Camels!"
Husband: "Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar."
Wife: "Are you taking me out for a drink?"
Husband: "Don't be silly woman. I'm turning the heat off."
Chris and Paul were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's
the
matter?" asked Chris of his buddy. "You look kind of down." "My wife
just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin."
"Why's
that?" "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Starry Night Via Carol
http://www.poofcat.
Memorial Day
http://www.00fun.
Carol w/Buster
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Weather Quiz
http://abcmail.
The Skinny on Zip Codes
http://www.zipskinn
B Movie Posters Via Wesley
http://www.atomicpi
Flannery's Restaurant
http://www.hemmings
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Best of the web jpgs, gifs and tools.
http://www.bold-
Kammie KuppyKaKe's Gif LinKs KolleKtion
http://members.
CCleaner - Crap Cleaner software download
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.acupunct
Kitty Korner
http://icanhascheez
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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
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computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
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Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
Gorilla Sex
http://www.buffalos
Got Protection
http://www.buffalos
Great Tequila Commercials
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H 100206
http://www.buffalos
Happy Holidays
http://www.buffalos
Futuristic Car
http://www.buffalos
Fiesta Days For Emailing
http://www.buffalos
Gas
http://www.buffalos
George Gobal
http://www.buffalos
German speed bump
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things women shouldn't say to men during sex
"And yet your feet are so big!"
"Don't worry, we'll work around it."
"I guess this makes me the early bird."
"Try not to smear my make-up."
"At least this won't take long."
"I want a baby."
"Do you know the ceiling needs painting?"
"Maybe we should call Dr Ruth."
"Is that blood on the headboard?"
"Did I remember to take my pill?"
"It's just a rash."
"Sorry about the name tags, but I'm not very good with names."
"Does it come with an air pump?"
"But it still works, right?"
"Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?"
"But everybody looks funny naked."
"Do you smell something burning?"
"On second thoughts, let's turn off the lights."
"You must be cold."
"Don't mind me. I always file my nails in bed,"
"Maybe if we water it, it'll grow."
"Maybe it looks better in natural light,"
"Maybe you're just out of practice."
"When is this supposed to feel good?"
"It's a good thing you're rich."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leak Ender 2000 - Fixes any leak we promise.
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that completely fills any crack or separation as it hardens, sealing
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View Web Version
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
just remember
http://www.thepostm
antidepressant
http://www.thepostm
eharmony goes wrong
http://www.thepostm
Beeper
http://www.sydesjok
Beer And Makeup
http://www.sydesjok
Beer and Viagra
http://www.sydesjok
New toy from Rubik
http://able2laugh.
Playbot
http://able2laugh.
Pulsating hypnotically
http://able2laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fast, simple and affordable way to clean your car
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Order now to get a professional car wash without the hassle
Order now
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady from Thrace,
Who's Corset she could no longer lace,
Her Mother said, "Nellie
There's more in your Belly,
Than ever went in through your face."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
QuickLawn - Just Sow It and Grow It
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my oldest friends stopped by and I took him to the
local American grease pit (read bar) for lunch. We got to talking
about
our love lives before we got married.
"I'm proud to say that I never took a girl's virginity," he said a
little too contently. Like my father always said: 'Don't open a can
of
beans you ain't planin' on eatin'.'"
"Come to think of it," I reflected, "I've only deflowered one virgin
my
entire life. Yeah, one.... And you married her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. They
occupied
adjoining rooms, sat at the same table, and were inseparable.
One
evening after dinner as they were returning to their rooms, there
was
lightning and the lights went off. It was pitch dark, and groping
their
way they made it to their rooms, and quietly undressed. Jack a
religious fellow knelt to pray. Just as he completed his prayer, the
lights came on that he saw that he was with his friend's wife. He
jumped
up and dashed for
the door "Too late to hurry now," said the girl "Joe never
prays!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New orders from Star Fleet: Explore these great STAR TREK
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1605
El Scorcho
(Note: The real Tami is going to run in El Scorcho in Ft Worth in
June)
Tami is peddling like crazy when she comes upon a large group of
bikers.
Tami: I need to slow down before I crash into these guys...Hey how
do I slow down?
Katie zooms up beside her: Tami, to slow down or to brake you must
reverse pedal with the back pedals but be careful.
Tami: Ack!
Tami gently slows down a bit and finds that this technique works
fine.
Katie: One more mile to the canoes. Rudy has radioed me and he and
Sandi are there waiting for us.
Tami: Okay, how are we doing in the race?
Sandi breaking in on their headsets: You are currently in the top
10
percent and moving up all the time. Hang in there.
A couple of minutes later they dismount and get their canoes and are
off. Katie has her canoe, Rudy his and Tami hers. Sandi back in
the
van monitoring the race.
Rudy: Now how do I paddle?
Katie: Come on Rudy. I showed you how before, a stroke on one side
of the canoe then a stroke on the other side, make it smooth and
easy.
Just watch how I do it okay?
Rudy: Okay, I see your canoe and how you do it. Here I come.
Tami: Here is where I leave you guys, I won this event, canoeing
last
year.
Splash splash!
Katie: Go Tami.
Tami: Hey, what was that?
Katie: That was Rudy. He is very strong and powerful. Once he
gets
his stroke... he is extremely fast.
Tami: I can't catch him.
Katie: Well I got to go now see you Miss Tami..
Splash, Splash.
Tami: Hey how did you learn to paddle so fast..?
To be concluded
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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