Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was doing a little spring cleaning the other day and
decided that some of the computer stuff I have here had
to go. Rather than haul a load to the transfer station I decided
to offer it on Freecycle and I got several emails from interested
parties. One needed just a video card and the other was
willing to take everything. The first guy had his brother stop
by and pick up three computers and a monitor. As far as
I can figure that was the guy who wanted the video card
because when the second guy stopped by yesterday he
was surprised the computers were gone . I don't know but
I guess the important thing is not having to worry about
paying a dump fee for them. I just hate it when a plan goes
awry.
Buffy has her own vehicle, seats 5 comfortably, why is it she
drives the Suburban more often than I do? She says it is
because it is so comfortable and roomy, but I suspect it is
because I pay for the gas. it has 250 miles on it since I filled the
tank and it still has over half of a tank.
Speaking of gas we have jumped about a quarter in the past
week to 2.19 a gallon. I was watching MSNBC financial yesterday
and they said usage was down to the lowest point since Oct.
2001. They also said prices weren't going up because of
speculation because Pres. Obama hates speculators. Ok so
what is the real reason?
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Bee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a young man and woman were in
their bedroom making love. All of a sudden
a bumblebee entered the bedroom window.
As the young lady parted her legs the bee
entered her vagina. The woman started
screaming "Oh my God, help me, there's a
bee in my vagina!"
The husband immediately took her to the
local doctor and explained the situation.
The doctor thought for a moment and said
"Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution
to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed
that the doctor could use whatever method to
get the bee out of his wife's vagina.
The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub
some honey over the top of my penis and
insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel
the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I
shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully
follow my penis out of your wife's vagina.
The husband nodded and gave his approval.
The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just
get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis
with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina.
After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said,
"I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet.
Perhaps I should go a bit deeper."
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a
while the doctor began shafting the young lady
very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver
with excitement. She began to moan and groan
aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked
like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands
on the young lady's breasts and started making
loud noises.
The husband at this point suddenly became very
annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What
the Hell do you think you're doing?"
The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of
plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
bad news good news
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Crick
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Many Moons
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Interesting.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foreign Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things not to say while visiting a foreign country:
IRELAND
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is
black- did a leprechaun crap in it?"
FRANCE
"Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just
Germans who can make sauces?"
ITALY
"Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O'
POLAND
"Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"
GERMANY
"Is this bratwurst kosher?"
TURKEY
"Where's the hash at? It's cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?"
KOREA
"Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people
deep fry him?"
CHINA
"This wall isn't so great."
SWEDEN
"Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a
dumb blonde joke?"
YEMEN
"Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it
mean -- 'Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?"
INDIA
"You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy
steak around here?"
SPAIN
"So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your
women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get
some Cheez Whiz nachos?"
MEXICO
"What's that smell?"
SAUDI ARABIA
"Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car?
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?"
RUSSIA
"Is it always this cold and economically devastated?"
UZBEKISTAN
"Can you spell Uzbekistan?"
GREECE
"I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
"Seriously, where is the real country? Where is everything?"
JAPAN
"What's Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?"
AUSTRALIA
"How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?"
AMERICA
"Was John Wayne gay?"
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Cheating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So," jealous Judy asked the detective she had hired, "did you trail
my
boyfriend?"
"Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, then to a restaurant and
then to a house."
A big smile crossed Judy's face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said,
gloating." Is there any doubt what he was doing?"
"No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was
following you and taking pictures of you undressing. By the way,
nude
pictures of you are all over the Internet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One morning, a mama cow and her three baby cows were out grazing in
the field. The first baby cow comes up to the mama cow and says,
"Mama, why is my name Daisy?"
And the mama cow said, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a daisy
fell on your head."
And the first baby cow trotted off, satisfied.
The next day, they were all out in the field again. The second baby
cow came up to the mama cow and said, "Mama, why is my name Tulip?"
"Well, honey, when you were born a tulip fell on your head."
And the baby cow was happy with that answer and continued grazing.
The next day, they all went out into the field again to graze. The
third baby cow came up to the mama cow and said,
"GLUPHABABABLUGHARD
And the mama cow said, "SHUT UP BRICK!!!"
Karl K
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Pun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a hapless fellow who got swept up in a raid on a
notorious brothel. The madam's records showed that he had been a
regular customer of many of the hookers there. He was professionally
devastated and his life and livelihood were pretty much ruined.
In an effort to escape his shame and humiliation, he moved to far
northwestern Canada where he began a new life. He put his past
behind
him there and opened a canine obedience school near Whitehorse.
Despite his remote location, he became quite famous and widely
respected as the best instructor in his field.
It wasn't until many years later when the guy died that the
embarrassing incident from his past came back to haunt him. A
newspaper reporter uncovered the scandalous story of how he'd been
arrested as a regular "john" in the prostitution bust.
The headline of his obituary alluded obliquely to his past but also
acknowledged the respect he'd later found in his new career. Oddly
enough the wording of this headline almost seemed to dispute the
wisdom of a popular adage relating to his later vocation. It read,
"YUKON TEACH, AN OLD TRICK, KNEW DOGS" (By Gary Hallock)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffalo,
Here's another one that I don't remember seeing on your site:
Drinking with a Redneck Girl
A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air,
pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In
Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the
same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it
into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces ..
He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses
that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in
one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and
shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on
the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,
'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to
drink with the same ones twice.'
' God Bless America '
Bob
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Movie Clips
Olympic 1
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Olympic 2
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Only in L.A
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Onzin
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Original Farmers Daughters
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Bullet Art
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Bumper Of My SUV
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Burnout International
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Bye Bye Rosie
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C141 End Of The Line
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Law Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to
have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In
addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be
published in the local newspaper. The man does not
receive any punishment.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in
Norfolk, Virginia.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having
sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the
wedding night)
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is
the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position
is considered illegal.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed
women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps
of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a
husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells
like garlic, onions, or sardines.
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts
in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you
are nude.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance
on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than
three pounds, two ounces.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to
provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest.
According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they
are wearing the nightshirts.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally
sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken
to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple
should engage in a sexual act while parked in their
vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear
patent-leather shoes.
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun
while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Party
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Huge Dick
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Free To Good Home
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Denmark News
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Baby Language
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Baby Mops
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
There Once Was A Girl, A Humdinger,
Around Whom The Boys Like To Linger,
While Babbling Of Love,
But Got Nowhere. ''Go Shove!''
She Would Say As She Gave Them The Finger.
A Passionate Maiden From China,
Would Gently Caress Her Vagina.
She Fondly Would Linger
With Each Little Finger,
As Though Nothing In China Was Finer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A true story. A few years ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was
given
some basic English conversation training before he visited
Washington
and met President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Prime Minister
Mori, "When you shake hands with President Clinton, please say 'How
are you?' Then Mr. Clinton will say, 'I am fine, and you?' Then you
should say 'Me too.' Afterwards we, translators, will do the work
for
you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is when Mori met Clinton,
he mistakenly said "Who are you?" instead of "How are you?" Mr.
Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor,
"Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha..." And Mori replied, "Me too,
ha-
ha..." Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A question for the ladies...
'If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a
headache and sex at the same time?'
Randy
A little known fact....
The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first
helmet was used in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain could be also
important ..
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1592
The New Job
Katie: Father we would like to speak to you.
BJ: Sure, what can I do for you?
Rudy: We were thinking about having a paper route.
BJ: Really?
Sandi: Yes, between the three of us, we think we could handle it.
BJ: Okay, why not. Try it and see. You would have to get up
really
early.
Katie: We have it figured out. Rudy will pull our Radio Flyer
wagon with
the papers, I will fold them and Katie will throw them.
BJ: Sounds like you have a plan. What time are the papers
delivered?
Sandi: I think three am.
BJ: Well best of luck.
The next morning.... three am.
ZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZ
BJ: Hey aren't you guys supposed to be getting your newspapers?
ZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZ
To be Continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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