Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I went to Wal-mart yesterday. That is always an adventure because
I get lost at least once every time I go there. I did go and with
asking
a few directions was able to find everything we needed. It is close
to
barbecue season and if you remember I mentioned that I had left
our grill in the yard beneath the eaves last winter. Well it didn't
fair
too well and needed to be replaced. I wanted a gas one but Sandy
insisted on charcoal so I found one on sale for 30 bucks that will
last
us for awhile.
Next on the list was fans. We don't have air conditioning as you are
lucky to see 90 degrees once or twice during the summer but it
is nice to keep the air moving so I bought two more box fans to
replace a couple that are about 12 years old and may go back to
get a couple more of the window variety.
Last but not least I bought a scale so I can weigh myself daily and
drive myself into deep, dark, despair, and depression heh heh. I
wanted a simple scale and thought I had found one of the digital
variety, but it is a little more complicated than I needed. It is
designed to track the weights of up to four people over a one
month period and I had read the directions on how to bypass all that
and just get a straight weight. I set the scale on the floor and
stepped
on it and it displayed an error number. I grabbed the manual which
is written in several languages that I didn't understand I finally
turned
it over and upside down and inside out and found the error number
in English and it said." Although this scale is designed to track
the
weights of four users, only one can use it at a time." " Please have
the
other three people get off the scale and reweigh yourself."
I rolled the manual into a club and beat the scale with it for a
half hour
and it finally displays the correct weight.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Palin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Surprises In The Sarah Palin Memoir
10. She's already completed her 2012 presidential
concession speech
9. Her husband Todd is a person of interest in dozens of
unsolved snowmobile hit-and-runs
8. State troopers have been instructed to taser Katie
Couric on sight
7. "Memoir" is misspelled
6. Not only can she see Russia, earlier today she saw the
astronauts working on Hubble
5. The entire thing, plagiarized word-for-word from Artie
Lange's "Too Fat To Fish"
4. Cover shows her in a passionate embrace with a shirtless
Fabio
3. Sworn in as governor with her left hand on a copy of
"Guns & Ammo" magazine
2. Claims she had three-way sex with Michael Phelps and
a stripper
1. She voted for Obama
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
The Indian and the outhouse
http://www.thepostm
a thousand dollar check
http://www.thepostm
not tonight dear
http://www.thepostm
Sausage lunch
http://able2laugh.
Mona at the beach
http://able2laugh.
Short Disney film
http://able2laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The woman who had sex with a racehorse is now in a stable condition.
A good friend of mine recently got a boob job. We were both at the
pool getting some sun when a guy in our group, who'd had his eye on
my
girlfriend for some time, said to me, "There's something different
about your friend this year, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
After I finished laughing, I said, "And you probably never will
either!"
A mini-skirted, totally blonde, Valley Girl sashayed over to her
blind
date and said, "Like dude, I want you to totally screw my brains
out."
"Sorry," he replied, "I'm not into quickies."
A friend of mine gave up masturbation for Lent. Now he can't wait
for
Palm Sunday.
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City
restaurant
and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are
furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think
you're doing?" One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry
hungry." The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this
restaurant
going to help that situation?" Another businessman replies, "Because
menu say, first come first served."
A camel and an elephant were having a chat. The elephant says to the
camel "Why have you got your tits on your back?" The camel replies
"That's rich coming from someone who has their dick on their face!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gay Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were these two gay guys who decide they want to have a baby.
So
they find an obliging lesbian, have her impregnated by sperm
donation,
and are simply thrilled when she gives birth to a seven pound baby
boy.
They rush to the hospital for the first viewing of their son,
standing
with their noses pressed against the glass of the nursery window and
surveying row upon row of crying infants. Except for one quiet,
clean
little baby, cooing softly to itself amid all the chaos.
Sure enough, when the gays ask to see their son, the nurse heads for
the
quiet baby and brings him over for the proud parents to ogle.
"Gee," said one of them to the nurse, "he sure is well behaved
compared
to the rest of those howling brats, isn't he?"
"Oh, he's quiet now," said the nurse, "but he screams like all the
rest
when I take the pacifier out of his ass."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bingo Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO YOU FALL ASLEEP DURING MEETINGS OR SEMINARS?
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? Here's a way
to
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1. Before your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare
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Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will
give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* take that off-line
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mind set
* incentive
* realign
* game plan
* leverage
3. With your square neatly prepared, get ready to play "BULLSHIT
BINGO".
Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases
spoken by the speaker.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout..."BULLSHIT!
job!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Juanito Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class, as the
teacher walked in the classroom, she noticed something was written
on
the board. The chalkboard read "T T T 1A".
She looked at the children and said, " who wrote this?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, " I did, teacher".
The teacher says, "Well, what does that mean, Johnny?"
Johnny answers, "It means, To The Teacher 1 Apple", and gives the
teacher an apple.
"Very good", says the teacher, "Thank You".
The next morning, the teacher walks in the classroom, and notices
something written on the board. The chalkboard read "T TT 1O".
She asked the children, "Who wrote this?"
Then little Bobby answers, "I did, teacher". The teacher says, "well
Bobby, what does that mean?"
Bobby says, "It means, To The Teacher 1 Orange", and gives the
teacher
an orange.
"Very good, Bobby, thank you."
The next morning, she walks in the classroom, and she noticed the
board
read, " F U C K I T".
The teacher, disappointed, said, "WHO WROTE THIS!!"
Then little Juanito, raises his hand and says, " I did, teacher".
The teacher says, " Well, what does this mean, Juanito?"
Juanito answers, " It means, From Us Chicano Kids 1 Tamale".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baseball Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a man went to England on a trip and
met a woman there, they grew to like each other
enough for her to come to America with the man
on his flight home. When they got back to America
the man said "I would like to show you an American
pastime."
The woman said, "What is it?"
"Baseball," the man said.
The next day, the man took her to a baseball
game. The first man came up to the plate and
hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the
next man bunted the ball and beat the throw to
first base. The third man came up to the plate
and he gets walked.
The man says, "Are you understanding this game?"
The woman says, "Yes, but what I don't understand
is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first player,
and he hits it. then he hurls the ball at the second
player, and he taps it and runs to where the other
man was standing And then the third player, this is
the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball
and he just stands there - 4 times - and then he just
walks to the place where the other man was standing."
Then the man says, "Well that is because he has four balls."
The woman says "Poor thing he couldn't run if he tried."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
carolyn w/ Art Linkletter -The Jack Benny Program
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THEORYS ON WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD
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Death
http://gabbiash.
Green Fields
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Movie Mistakes
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Microsofts ZXP Power Toys
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spx
Windows Tutes
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MSN Paint Tutorial
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Movie Maker Tips
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Comedy
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Condom Commercial
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Condom Tester
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Cool Mint
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Copon The Move
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Demo Las Vegas
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Dentist
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Dhl
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Dog Cat
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Doggie Has Too Much Fun
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bike Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men in a bar are discussing their wives, when one
admitted he had killed his that very morning.
"Why did you do it?" asked the other.
"She kept complaining about my bike in the garage. She
said I alwyas left it untidy."
The second man said "You're kidding me right? You didn't really
kill
your wife this morning?"
"I certainly did kill her this morning," said the first,
"Come with me, and I'll show you".
With that the two of them left the bar and walked to a
house, they went to the garden, and there was a fresh mound
of earth, with a woman's ass sticking out the top.
"Is that her?" asked the second man.
"Yes." said the first.
"Why did you leave her ass sticking out like that?"
"Well, I needed somewhere to park my bike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
6.9
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Starbucks Coffee
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8 Qualities
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Coca-Cola Zero
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Whiskas
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9 Inches
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came back with a very sore crack,
Jack must have been a Yankee!
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Enhance your meat, fruits and vegetables with Zoom today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman goes to the doctors, and says, "Doctor,
I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes
off to show you." The doctor tells her to go behind
the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the
doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?" he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing,
green circles have appeared on the inside of my
thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has
no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks,
"Have you been having an affair with a Harley rider
lately?"
The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually I have."
"That's the problem!" the doctor says, "Tell him his
earrings aren't made of real gold......"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"
"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.
"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.
"What do you want," she replied, "good grammar or good
taste?"
Patricia
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1598
El Scorcho
Diana: Rudy what are you doing wearing speedos?
Rudy: There is a race tonight. It starts at midnight and we are in
it.
So is Tami, we are going to help her win.
BJ: It is pretty hot an humid.
Sandi: That is why it is called El Scorcho. It is a marathon
event, the
first ten miles is running, the next twenty miles is on a bicycle
and
the last five miles is on a canoe.
Katie: We helped her build her canoe and even have build our own.
Rudy: We even build our own bicycles. We are dogs and cannot
operate one like she does so we built one where we can lay on our
stomachs and operate them like we run.
BJ: Smart.
Diana: Can we watch?
Katie: Sure, you just get a map of the course and it may even be on
TV.
Rudy: We have to get to work.
Sandi: The race starts tonight and we have a lot to do.
To be continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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