Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Let's look at the famous people that were born this month.
1. Steve Cauthen, Kate Smith
2. Dr. Benjamin Spock, Georgianna Jacobson
3. Joe Namath, Golda Meir, Earl Allen Jr.
4. Audrey Hepburn, George Will
5. Karl Marx, Tammy Wynette
6. Willie Mays, Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles
7. Johnny Unitas, Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Johannes Brahms
8. Harry Truman, Melissa Gilbert, Nick Kmita
9. Billy Joel, Kevin Tobin, Diane D., Cindy Jensen
10. Fred Astaire, Phil Mahre
11. Salvador Dali, Irving Berlin, Dave E.
12. Yogi Berra, Katharine Hepburn, Arlene O'Neil
13. Stevie Wonder, Dennis Rodman, Don Sipe
14. George Lucas, Jose Da Silveira, John Ross, Linda Reed
15. Emmit Smith, George Brett, John Smoltz
16. Pierce Brosnan, Janet Jackson, Henry Fonda
17. Bob Saget, Jeff Bagwell, Sugar Ray Leonard
18. Pope John Paul II, Reggie Jackson
19. Peter Townshend, Malcolm X
20. Cher, Bronson Pinchot
21. Harold Robbins, Mr. T, Tinya g Norris
22. Richard Benjamin, Laurence Olivier, Bill Lacy
23. Joan Collins, Scatman Crothers, Mary Bartley
24. Bob Dylan, Priscilla Presley, David Wadleigh
25. Dixie Carter, Connie Selleca
26. Sally Ride, Genie Francis, Al Jolson
27. Frank Thomas, Henry Kissinger, Louis Gossett, Jr.
28. Jim Thorpe, Jerry West, Ian Fleming
29. John F. Kennedy, Bob Hope, Melissa Etheridge
30. Gale Sayers, Mel Blanc
31. Brooke Shields, Prince Rainier III
Two and a half years ago Buffy bought a Lenovo Think Pad, top of the
line model and paid 1200 for it. Except for a hard drive problem
that
surfaced days after she bought it it has ran day in and day-out for
that
time. Today it lost the backlighting in the screen and she called
Lenovo.
They are sending a shipping box express to her and repairing the
screen and a couple of other small problems under the machine's 3
year
warranty, no cost to her shipping included. At a time when lots of
other
brands fail after six months and end up in a landfill I think Lenovo
is to
be commended for carrying on the IBM reputation.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 things NOT to say to parents when picking up a date.
10. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore."
9. "Show me how you used to spank her."
8. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."
7. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
6. "I just got my license today."
5. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me
mature."
4. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."
3. "Hey do you have an empty pop can and some matches?"
2. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"
1. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Mr. Faggot
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Internet Changed My Life
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Fishing
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Asshole On Cellphone
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Ass-trology
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At Beach
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
View Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the couple fucking on the third floor apt across the street from
my office:
We at X Associates would like to thank you for your weekly Friday
show. every Friday at 4 we can count on you to get it on and on and
on.
I must admit my surprise in a city full of skyscrapers that someone
in a third floor apt in midtown doesn't see the need for window
coverings of any sort especially when there is a 17 floor office
building across the street.
I only can assume you are feeling the need to keep up with the porn
shop that opened up on the first floor of your building. though I
question your intelligence I applaud your lusty lifestyle.
Last weeks super freaky positions sex was great fun. all the
engineers here are still trying to work out the logistics on a
couple of those positions, and we are fairly sure that one of them
is physically impossible due to the stresses it would put on the
female body.
This weeks theme seems to be speed fucking from behind...and was
that a third person in the room we saw, we aren't sure but oh what
randy fun. and once again we are amused, and titillated.
You have no idea what a welcome break you bring when the call comes
from that side of our office that the fuckers are at it again.
The cubicles clear out and you have 20 some odd men, and one woman
(me) pressed against the windows.
As much as we enjoy the current show we do have some ideas that
could really bring it to the next level of enjoyment for your
adoring viewers.
1. Invest in some kind of glare free glass for the window. the glare
gets nasty on overcast days like today and we could barely make out
who was slapping who on the ass.
2. Move a bit closer to the window...not too close, just say a foot.
this give us the viewer the premium viewing situation.
3. Man...get rid of the chubby girl, from certain angles well she is
just too much woman for us.
4. Sex against the window, just think about the fun that would be
had for all, you then could see us we could see you, it would be a
wonderous intimate act for the 25 of us.
5. Maybe add one more show a week, I know last week you did a bonus
wednesday show and it went over great, it really warmed us up for
friday.
I would really like once again to thank you on behalf of us all here
at X Associates. you make what is the best day of the work week here
even better, because nothing can beat seeing two young people as
yourself fuck like monkeys right before we leave this hellhole for
the weekend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Erection Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The
woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that
she
and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed
there.
She then asked if there was something with which she could help the
gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more
comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely
professional
and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident
that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to
discuss,
but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and
severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for
it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When s
he returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute
best
we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and
$5,000.00 a
month living expenses
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Nugget Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOLD NUGGET
In a mining district, Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12
pound
baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the newspaper
office and told them that he had found a 12 pound gold nugget, as
pure
as any in America. Naturally, the newspaper sent a reporter to the
house
to get the story, as anyone would do, and everyone was prospecting
for
gold in the little town. This is what happened.
Reporter: "Does Mr. Brown live here?
She: "He does."
He: "Is he in?"
She: "No."
He: "I understand that he found a nugget of gold weighing 12
pounds."
She: (Seeing the joke) "Yes, he found one."
He: "Can you show me the spot where he found it?"
She: "I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private."
He: "Is the hole very far from here?"
She: "No, it is quite near."
He: "Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?"
She: "No, only about ten months."
He: "Has he reached the bottom yet?"
She: "No, but he is very near."
He: "Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?"
She: "Well, he thinks he was."
He: "Has he been working the claim regularly since he found it?"
She: "No, but I told him last night it was time to start again."
He: "I suppose he works it secretly?"
She: "Yes, mostly every night."
He: "Do you help him?"
She: "I do my best."
He: "Do you think he will sell the claim?"
She: "I doubt it, he gets so much pleasure out of working it."
He: "Did he blast it out with nitroglycerine?
She: "No, he used vaseline and kept digging."
He: "Has he widened the hole any?"
She: "Yes, a little."
He: "How big is the hole?"
She: "Well, about normal size, I suppose."
He: "Is he going to improve the mine any?"
She: "Yes, he said he was going to white wash the shaft tonight."
He: "Does he work alone at night?"
She: "No, I hold it for him and we split 50/50."
He: "Is he an expert at it?"
She: "Well, he does good work."
He: "Would you mind showing me the gold nugget?"
She: "Certainly not." (Then she brought out the 12 pound baby boy
and
they carried the reporter to the hospital.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump kin.
The other day, I got pulled over by the police because my car didn't
have any hub caps on the tires. I said, "What's the charge officer?"
He said, "It's Indecent Exposure." I exclaimed, "Indecent exposure?"
He said, "Yes! You can't just ride around with your Nuts showing!"
The gay bear laid his paw on the table.
What should you do if an elephant comes in your window?
Swim.
"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will
you still make love like that to me after we're married?" He
considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. I've
always been especially fond of married women."
Don't let your affection give you an infection.
Put some protection on that erection.
As I checked my daily assignment, I saw that the head nurse has me
emptying bedpans again. When am I ever going to get off this woman's
shit list?
Sex is like "The Club" - Accept no substitutes.
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Abby says that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more
than
three times a day, and that you should seek professional help.
Shit, I have news for you Abby: The only way I am going to get sex 3
times a day is IF I seek professional help.
~~
Jenna, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any
boys
at the age of 19. Today she was asking her aunt Martha for advice
with
boys.
"Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing Tommy and I
need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to dribble on my
boyfriend."
"Swallow." her aunt advised
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Tribute
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S.A.T. TESTS
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Movie Clips
Poker Face
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Pool Prank
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Pregnancy Test
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Priest off
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Pump News
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Ping
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Piscina
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Rabbit VS Snake
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Rally Flip
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Remote
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under a tree a lion tries to sleep, when he hears strange laughing.
He
rises and strolls to the bushes where the laughter seems to come
from.
Behind the bush a group of elephant bulls is sitting in a circle and
they are laughing their heads off.
Lion: "Hey elephants, why are you laughing?"
Elephant: "We're fucking some monkeys"
Lion: "Well, I do that too, but I don't see what's so funny about
it."
Elephant: "That's because they don't explode when YOU cum !"
Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home.
He
walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of
another
man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got
to
be making love to my wife?"
The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love
with
Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler.
Why
don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy
with
me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree
to
divorce her.... Okay?"
"Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more
interesting,
why don't we play for a dollar a point?" Hank
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
getting revenge
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inadequacy
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Broken T.V.
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Good Doggie
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Cyber Pause
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Limerick Chips
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A transvestite from Lyford-By-Tyme
Was in court for a horrific crime,
Said, "Your honor, oh no!
It cannot be so
For I was a broad at the time.
____________
Thre was an old Scotsman of Fife
Who had left, in the course of his life,
Scores of well-rounded ends
Of the wives of his friends
And likewise of friends of his wife.
____________
An arrogant wench from Salt Lake
Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
She was finally the prize
Of a man twice her size
And all she recalls is the ache.
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judeo-Christian tradition frowns on:
a. premarital sex
b. post-marital sex
c. the opposite sex
d. carnal knowledge with non-kosher animals
The average frequency of sexual relations is:
a. 78.8 megahertz
b. 92.3 kilohertz
c. 98.4 oyithertz
d. depends on how often your wife works late
rubin
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two college women were discussing the date one had
had the night before.
"Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and
sophisticated. He speaks ten languages, drives a
Lamborghini, took me to a Parisian restaurant and
ordered the meal and wine in French, then took me
to his penthouse apartment to look over his
Russian book collection by the fireplace."
"Wow, Gail, he sounds fabulous! But just how far
did he get with you?"
"Well, I really rather not say, but he was quite
a cunning linguist!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1587
The Games Dogs Play
BJ arrives home and notices the dogs wearing different outfits.
BJ: Diana what are the dogs doing?
Diana: Oh they found some gaming equipment in the garage and they
are inventing their own game.
BJ: They are wearing helmets and shoulder pads.
Diana: Yes, they are playing full-body contact tennis.
BJ: Tennis?
Diana: Their rules are a trifle different. The net is a virtual
net and
an opposing player can run over and club the enemy with their
racket.
BJ: That seems a bit rough.
Diana: That is the rules they voted on. Gus and the guinea hens
and
Horace have played for some time and only have had a few injuries.
Sandi and Rudy are playing now.
Outside the sounds of combat rage on...
Thud!
Crush!
Bam!
BJ goes outside.
BJ: Hey stop a minute.
Sandi: Yes, Daddy.
BJ: How do you know who wins? You do not have a ball.
Rudy breathing hard: We play until the last man stands or the other
cries uncle. This is not a game for cowards. Do you want to play
Igor..he is next?
BJ looks and a six foot six guy with scars is on deck: No, I think
I will
relax and watch TV tonight. How has Igor done?
Sandi: Not well father. He has lost to Rudy and to me. This is
the
championship game.
BJ: Well I will let you gladiators get back to your... ah game.
Rudy: Later dude.
Smash,,,Crash!
Thud!
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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