THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not
thus handicapped."
- Elbert Hubbard
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Ordered a new vest the other day. Seems that I am putting
on a pound or two. When I get on the cycle, the old vest,
them two bottom snaps? well never mind. Anyways. I
always order my leather stuff from JaminLeather.com. My
order got here promptly as usual. I am not a big online
shopper. I seldom shop online. I just don't shop, period.
Don't have nothin to buy. Jamin leather is the exception tho.
They are always prompt and occasionally have great deals
that I cannot resist. When my order arrived, I sat down
and looked through the catalog they included and found a very
nice pair of harness boots that were very inexpensive. So, I
went to the computer to place an order. Just as I was filling
it out, "The war department" came in and says, "Your not
buying more junk are you?" Sortof a funny statement, since
leather stuff to wear is NOT junk. Anyways, I pointed
out this great deal on motorcycle boots. I saw her frowning
and quickly added, "I'm buying a pair for me and I was
just thinking, what is your shoe size?" Face brightens.
She tells me, and of course, I had to go back and find
a women's version,too. But she walked away smiling. My new boots
are not quite the good deal I thought they were.
I had to buy two pair, instead of one. But I am quite
sure I'll enjoy them, just the same:)
And I have also discovered that bribery will get you everwhere!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
The Indian and the outhouse
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c050.html
a thousand dollar check
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c051.html
not tonight dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c052.html
wife swapping
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c053.html
modern art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c054.html
eggs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c055.html
I married him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c056.html
free to good home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c057.html
poor planning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c058.html
lost and found
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c059.html
thank you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c060.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
From the Bob and Tom show...the Obama man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5544.html
out for a walk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5545.html
never tease a bear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5546.html
get out of my bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5547.html
Swing Diego
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5548.html
the advantage in your car
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5549.html
Drew Carey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5550.html
A marketing flunky stopped a pedestrian on a street corner
recently and explained that he was doing some market research.
Then he asked the passerby, "What shaving cream do you use?"
The man answered, "Babas."
"All right," said the marketing guy, making a note of it though
he'd never heard of that brand, "and what after shave do you use?"
"Babas."
In fact, the answer to all the marketing questions - deodorant,
toothpaste, shampoo, soap - resulted in the Babas brand answer.
Finally, in frustration, the marketing guy said, "I've got to know.
What is this 'Babas' brand? Something new? Something from a foreign country?"
"Brand?" asked the pedestrian. "Baba is my roommate!"
____________
"Doc, I just can't help it. The only thing on my mind these days is sex."
"My advice to you is just stop thinking about it. Scientists have just
discovered that people who think about sex too much often
lose their hearing."
"Is that a fact?" "What did you say?"
______________
"John and I had hardly finished one argument when I screwed up
and started another one," said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Nadine.
"Well," said Jill, "you know when you're done with a big fight and
your significant other suggests a little 'make-up sex?'"
"Yeah" says Nadine.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask,
'Does it have to be with you?'"
____________
This guy fell asleep on the beach one day and the wind came up
and blew sand all over him until he was covered with only his big
toe sticking out. An old nympho was walking down the beach, saw the
toe sticking up, pulled down her bikini bottom and squatted over
the toe. She humped away till she was satisfied, pulled up her
drawers and left.
The guy woke up, brushed the sand away and left, not knowing what
happened. The next day his foot itched like hell, and had a sore
on it. He went to the Dr. and after an exam the doc told him he
had syphilis of the big toe.
"Syphilis of the big toe?", he inquired, "isn't that rare."
The doc said "You think that's rare, I had a woman in here this
morning with athlete's pussy."
_____________
Murphy has own nail making business, and he wants it to be the
best in the world. So he goes to a top advertising agency to have
them create a marketing strategy. The agency assures him they can
create a memorable advertising campaign in a week.
The following week Murphy goes back to the agency and is shown in
to a small theatre to view the finished commercial.
The lights go off and screen springs into life.
On the screen is a sunset over a desert. The camera pans around
to a hill and zooms in to the top of the hill. At the top of the
hill is a wooden pole. The camera climbs up the pole to where a
couple of feet are hanging. It then carries on up to a man's
torso, up to his face, and there is Jesus' face. It then moves
along an outstretched arm, to a hand pinned firmly to a stake by
a gleaming nail. On the nail is proudly emblazoned:
"Murphy's Nails" A caption appears on the screen
"Murphy's nails - they'll never let you down"
Murphy is outraged, "You'll get me shut down," he screams,
"That's blasphemous! I'll give you a week to come up with a
decent campaign or I'll go elsewhere. "
A week later Murphy goes back to the advertising agency and is
shown into the theatre. "This had better be an improvement" he
warns. The lights dim and the screen leaps into life.
On the screen is a Roman street with lots of people milling
about. The camera then pans quickly to left to see Jesus running
like hell being pursued by two Roman guards. The camera then
zooms in on the two guards, to catch one saying to the other
"This would never have happened if we'd used Murphy's nails. "
BUFFALO Bill
Deano
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdjdh.htm
Decoy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hsjs.htm
Deep Tissue massage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hsgs.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
The Legend of Crystal Valley
http://tinyurl.com/q5pb49
Bug Hunt
http://tinyurl.com/cztbe5
The Earth is Flat
http://tinyurl.com/ct6ujt
________
PAPA Thorn
Sausage lunch
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Lunchx014.jpg
Mona at the beach
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Mona025.jpg
Short Disney film
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=movies-0057.jpg
Mr. Bate
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=MrBate.jpg
Handy bra
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=newbra.jpg
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
MArtin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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