Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hello:
I went into the Navy June of 76,went thru boot camp got assign to the Sarsfield for 1 year while I was waiting for my A school to open. I went thru my A school Mess cook, and was assign to the Connie. That is when I started to have fun. While I was waiting for the cook spot to open I was assigned to the Bosun Mates. Which I had done a year before on the Sarsfield. the fun stuff was when I went to the Connie I brought brand new dungarees and cut my hair boot camp short. The Bosun Mate would send me to find a Left-Handed monkey wrench, a bucket of steam etc. What I would do would say ok go find a place to sleep come back a hour or so and say I could not find it. This happen for about three days and the Bosun Mate came up to me and ask how long has I been in the Navy. When I told him over a year he glared at me and sent me off to paint the anchor oh well it was fun while it lasted.
Daniel
buffalo says I transferred to shore duty from the Connie in summer of
1978 so we may have served together for a few months. The Connie had
some of the best food in the fleet.
Here is the latest from the CNO for all of you old sailors.
About 42 percent of the Navy's bachelor enlisted quarters are in "substandard condition," primarily because the living spaces are too small, Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Gary Roughead told lawmakers Wednesday on Capitol Hill.
It will be at least seven years until the Navy gets all the housing up to Defense Department standards — which calls for 55 square feet per sailor in homeport ashore housing.
For now, the priority is to build enough housing for all enlisted sailors and eliminate the need for sailors to live on ships while in their home port, Roughead said. He hopes to have all sailors off ships and into home port ashore housing by 2016.
This is totally news to me although I have heard that this practice started
during the Clinton administration. Although I did appreciate off ship
housing I got it by going together with a few friends and renting an apartment
out of my own money. The thought of the Navy paying for a room on the
beach while I had a bunk onboard ship never occurred to me. The BEQ was
for those assigned to shore duty. A lot of the time we were on port and
starboard duty meaning you spent the day onboard ship every other day
and at best we were on four section duty . The ships have free cable,
internet, laundry, barber shop, restaurants, etc what more could a person
ask for.. oh yeah women and they even have those on ships now.
It will only cost 165 million though, which is a drop in the trillion dollar bucket
so they might as well go for it. I still think though that sailors were meant
to be on ships and ships were meant to be underway. If they had followed
that rule Pearl Harbor never would have happened.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Radio Chips
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The Top 16 Signs a Radio Talk Show Host Is on Drugs
16. Takes phone calls only if the caller agrees to do a hit
of helium first.
15. Spent the last 15 minutes of yesterday's show clearing
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14. His response to every caller: "Dave's not here, man."
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9. While interviewing Barbara Bush, constantly refers to her son as George Washington and adds how much "you two dudes look alike."
8. He's talking into an iced-tea spoon.
7. Ted Nugent cuts the interview short and advises the host
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6. He's on a seven-second delay even when he's OFF the air.
5. Refuses to give out the show's telephone number because "The Man can trace it, dude!"
4. Takes payola only in the form of Cool Ranch Doritos.
3. Calls for drastic retaliation against Arab states for their nukingof Arizona and the poisoning of President Palmer.
2. Can't stop giggling long enough to hear what "Dick in Buffalo" hasto say.
1. Begins every news segment with: "First, let's go to my beeper for a quick look at the traffic."
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Dog Chips
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A group of prisoners are in their rehabilitation meeting. Their task for
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fellow inmates what crime they committed.
The first prisoner stands and says "My name is Daniel and I'm in for
murder" Everyone gives him approving looks and pats on the back for
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He stands up and says "My name is Luke, but I'm not telling you what I'm
in for"
The group leader says "Now, come on Luke, you have to admit it to us to
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"Ok then. I'm in for fucking dogs."
Everyone is disgusted!
They all shout "What??!! How LOW can you get!"
"Well...I did manage do to a dachshund one time, but I had to lift her
back legs up a little", Luke replies.
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was in trouble again. He
was charged with the rape of a grown
woman, and all though the crime seemed
highly improbable, the state's evidence
was overwhelming.
As a last desperate move, the defense
counsel came over to the witness stand,
pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and
grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.
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turning toward the jury box. "Surely you cannot
believe that such a small still undeveloped
organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on. "How
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of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown
woman."
"Watch it," whispered Little Johnny.
"One more shake and you'll lose the case!"
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Heaven Chips
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Three women arrived simultaneously at the gates of Heaven and were
greeted by St. Peter. There will be a place for each of you once you
have confessed your sins," he assured them, turning gravely to the 1st
woman.
"I married one man, but I loved another," she admitted, blushing, "so I
divorced my husband, and married the man I loved."
"Show her to the silver gates," St. Peter instructed a minion, and
turned to the 2nd woman.
I loved one man, married him, and lived happily ever after," went her
story. St. Peter directed her to be shown thru the golden gates, and
turned toward the 3rd woman.
"I was a dancer in a cabaret," she confessed with a becoming blush, "and
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"Show her to my room," said St. Peter...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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A guy goes inside the confessional and says,
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Yesterday I was walking along the beach at
night, and I decided to explore a cave near
the shore. When I turned on my flashlight,
I witnessed two men having sex."
"Oh, so you were the idiot with the flashlight?"
A man from Bangladesh named Abdul was bragging that in his country there
are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love. A gent from Florida
listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I come from there's
only one way." "Just one?" Abdul asked. "And which way is that?" "Well,"
the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--" "Praise
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ole Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole and Sven are the best of friends, and they have these two girls on the string - Lena and Olga - who live together in an apartment.
One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, 'Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?'
Sven says, 'Donno, but I'm drunk enuf. Let's go ask em!'
So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks on the door. Lena answers and says, 'Vell, Ole and Sven, come on in!'
Ole no more than gets in the door when he says, 'Ve yust come to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us.'
Lena is really upset by this and throws them both out, slamming the door on them.
Ole is persistent and knocks on the door again. Lena isn't stupid. She knows it's Ole and says, 'Ole if you are gonna be so forward, you'll have to talk through the keyhole.'
So Ole bends to the keyhole and asks, 'Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?'
Lena is really upset now. She drops her pants, backs up to the keyhole, and farts in it.
As Ole is backing up and shaking his head, Sven asks, 'Vell Ole, vat did she say?'
Ole says, 'Vell, I tink she said. FFFFfffffrrriiddaay
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LynnLynn's Links
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Movie Clips
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Blonde Chips
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A young blonde was having problems with her first
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I'll call and check up on you in a couple of hours."
The young blonde, not reading the directions, rips
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The phone rings and she answers, "Ssssswwwellooooo.
It's the older blonde. She asks, "So, how are your hemorrhoids?
The young blonde replies, "They still itch and burn
but I can whistle better than ever before !!!"
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Toon Chips
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smurfs at work
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Undressed
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.
* * * *
A horny young woman named Kate,
Had hoped for a really hot date.
But despite lots of kissing,
His erection was missing;
So next time she'll just masturbate.
* * * *
His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvelous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead;
He ends by just screwing her silly.
Karl K
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Parting Chips
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A researcher is doing a study on the sexual habits of trailer park
denizens in Alabama. He finds one family with 12 kids, and decides to
ask the mother some questions.
"Ma'am," he asks, "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you know
anything about contraceptives?
"What the hell're yu a talkin' bout?" is her dumbfounded reply.
"Okay, well, for instance... what do you and your husband use when
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"Nah," she replies. "We get along fine just a usin' my ol'man's dick!"
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Bonus Chip
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My wife & I were expecting our first child while we were stationed in
Corpus Christi, TX. We were at our first OB/GYN exam with an old crusty
Doc that was probably delivering babies in the Alamo. Nice guy, but
seen it all, heard it all a million times.
I was stuttering around searching for the right words to
ask when we "should stop....you know.....relations?
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don't get in my way in the delivery room, I don't care!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1591
Reason For Believing
BJ arrives home to find Sandi just hoping and dancing in the front yard.
BJ: Why the good cheer Sandi?
Sandi: It is a good day to be alive Daddy. I read about the Native
American saying, "Today is a good day to die" and it sadden me. I
thought how negative, so I am turning it around "Today is a great
day to be alive."
BJ: I cannot argue that Sandi.
Sandi: Look at the sky father, it is alive with hope. The birds are
singing.
BJ: Except the one you hunted down.
Sandi: Well, I have to keep in shape.
BJ: Yes, your mood is spreading. Look at Rudy, he looks really happy
also.
Sandi: Come join us Rudy, you already look happy.
Rudy: Burp! I needs another brewsky..
BJ: Oh dear, I am afraid his mood is artificial.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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