THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and
campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other."
-- Oscar Ameringer
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I always get a chuckle with Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat.
(our chihauhau)He has a thing for sheet fabric softener.
Turk believes that these magical sheets should be "destroyed"
upon discovery, with vengeance. Apparently, they must represent
some diabolical threat to mankind and the world of puppyhood.
If he sees a sheet of softener laying on the floor, he will
immediately stop what he is doing and begin to stalk it, as if
it were a huge threatening creature. Then, when he gets to within
inches of it, he pounces. Claws and teeth usually do quick work
of the menace within a minute or so. And no matter how quickly
I jump or scold the little wet back, Turk always manages to make
a huge mess on the floor with them that I have to clean up. It
appears that destruction provides much more fun than the
reward of obedience to the little beast. I've tried to
convince the war department to solve the problem by purchasing
liquid fabric softener. To no availale. Old habits die hard.
Difficult to understand too, since, as a guy, I see
no useful purpose for the stuff. Anyways, I'm digressing here.
Back to story. We are out on the "walk" yesterday, and low and
behold, guess what the mutt finds along the sidewalk? Yep,
you guessed it. Pooch found it, and the remarkable thing was,
this time he stopped before he went into attack mode, and
looked up at me questioningly. How could I resist? "Go ahead
Turk," And the mutt attacked with all the ferocity that a 7 pound
ankle biter could muster and made short work of it.
After a minute Turk grew bored of the thing and we continued
on the walk, leaving some unhappy home owner a mess of
fabric softener shreds to clean up in the front yard.
I've come to the conclusion that
life is too short to worry about fabric softener messes and it's
best simply to enjoy life's simple pleasures
however you find them, as does Turk. And
one other observation I have made here, Who knows,
maybe fabric softener serves a useful purpose, afterall.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
how romantic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c001.html
the 20th hole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c002.html
be afraid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c003.html
baby talk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c004.html
fake orgasm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c005.html
if you can read this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c006.html
Dr. Og
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c007.html
Remember?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c008.html
trimmin the hedge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c009.html
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
cat regrets bathtime
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5506.html
trial kings
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5507.html
the world is unfair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5508.html
recycle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5509.html
car washer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5510.html
budweiser
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5511.html
Venus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5512.html
why Muslims don't eat spaghetti
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5513.html
what is it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5514.html
___________
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for sex!"
Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"
___________
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods
totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous
bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them
saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call,
"Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
________________
David nervously approached his girlfriend's father and said, "Excuse me,
Mr. Hobbs, but there was something I wanted to ask you."
"Well, of course, young man!" the proud father replied. "You have my
full blessing. My daughter's happiness is all I want."
"Blessing, sir?" David stammered.
"Yes, of course. You want to marry my daughter, right?" asked Mr. Hobbs.
"Uh, no sir, that's not it," said David.
"Then what is it?" asked Mr. Hobbs.
David replied, "Actually, my car payment is due, and I'm a little short
until payday, and I wanted to know if I could borrow fifty dollars until Friday."
"Heck no!" yelled Mr. Hobbs. "I hardly know you."
_____________
Grandma had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it
kindly when she ended up in the hospital for observation after fainting
(resulting in a bad fall). By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma
tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything:
the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress,
especially, the mattress.Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with
a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma,"
said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here.
If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall,
she can get up and switch it on herself!"
____________
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked
trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse
went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself
in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun
to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot -
I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any
three wishes you want." The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was
safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to
have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger,
and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this horse I'm, riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll
have all three wishes." The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full
speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight
inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of
Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging,
rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger's.
Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted,
"My God, I forgot I was riding the Mare!"
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Breast Check
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001621.html
Time To Leave Home
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001622.html
________
BUFFALO Bill
Babysitter Is Here
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000112.html
Bachelor Fridge
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000113.html
Backdoor
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000114.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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