Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hi my name is Dale I'm formerly from Minnesota. I've never written
to anyone like this before. Have U ever heard of Snipe hunting? My
buddies used to take me with them two or three nights a week. The
would give me a sack and a flashlight and I would stand out there in
the woods waiting for them to drive the snipes to me. In all the
times I went out I never caught or even seen one of them there
snipes. Was it possible that there wasn't any in northern Mn.? what
do U think?
sincerely a fan of yours. What ever U think I'll
believe. I also have a bunch of ocean front property for sale as
soon as California falls into the ocean.
Have a good one Dale Tresler
Hi Dale,
Snipes do exist and they are small but excellent eating and best
caught
with a shotgun with fine bird shot. They are fast and clever and
hard to hit
but they have a tendency when they are flushed to only fly a few
feet and
land again or to shoot straight up in the air and then plummet back
down
to the same place. If you were to run underneath them with your
burlap
sack you might catch one that way.
http://en.wikipedia
One that doesn't exist but was a common ruse onboard ships was the
Sea Bat. It took two people one with a cardboard box with a closed
lid
and something small like a tennis ball that would rattle when the
box
was shook and another with a broom or mop. The person with the box
would announce he had caught a Sea Bat and people would want to
see. The guy would set the box on the floor and barely open the top
and when you bent over to look you got swatted with the broom. You
were generally enlisted to go find the next victim as your reward
for
entertaining everyone else. I never got caught in that game because
just
by luck I happened to be a bystander the first time I saw it pulled.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Green Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well it all started when a very rich man found a very young and
dirty
poor girl on the street on a snowy night. He asked her if she would
like
a place to stay since he heard that the blizzard would last for a
few
days. She took him up and his offer and went home with him. When
they
both arrived the man told her "I'm allowing you to sleep in any room
on
the west wing.
Just stay away from the east wing, because that's where my son's
room
is, and i don't want you near him."
She agreed and picked her room.
That night the man woke up to an unfamiliar noise. He rushed into
his
son's room and found the girl fucking him. the man was furious. He
gave
her another chance though and escorted her back to her room, again
he
warned her. The next night, he awoke again and found the same thing.
He
would have thrown her out, but It was still snowing and so he
escorted
her back to her room and warned her for the last time. The next
night
before he went to bed he went to his son's room and poured green
glitter
in his sons pants. That night he heard some noise, but figured he
would
catch her in the morning. The next morning he woke up and rushed
into
her room.
He damanded she pull down her pants.
She did willingly and he found nothing.
He apoligized and said he must of been hearing things.
After breakfast the young girl thanks the man for his hospitality
and
walked out of the house with a green tongue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I am not!
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time for a walk?
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three?
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How to
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In Heaven
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Raise
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pirate Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Letterman has revealed the Top Ten Reasons why President
Hussein Obama delayed the use of deadly force against the Somali
pirates holding Capt. Richard Phillips.
10. They are potential campaign donors for 2012.
9. One looked like a former neighbor.
8. All were carrying DNC cards.
7. When White House staffers identified them as "Pirates," BO
thought they were from Pittsburgh.
6. Two of the four were registered with "ACORN".
5. Didn't want to support the use of firearms for protection, thus
backing the stance of the 'NRA'.
4. Wanted positive confirmation that they were in fact, not members
of the Rainbow Coalition.
3. The Tele-prompter was broken and he had nothing to say.
2. No photo-op existed.
1. They may be relatives.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pregnant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to Buffalo-Lite, Humor some mature , some immature for
people
on the go.
«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»
Q. What do you call a pregnancy that begins
while using birth control?
A. A misconception.
Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly
when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.
Q. What is a chastity belt?
A. A labour-saving device.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. I normally wear a size 34-C bra. Now that I'm
pregnant, should I continue to wear a bra?
A. Not if you don't mind switching in the future to a
size 34-Long.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine
a baby's sex?
A.Childbirth.
Q. My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is
A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type
AB-positive?
A. Then the jig is up.
Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our
baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom
should I contact about this?
A.Your therapist.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my
baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has
a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant,
my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A. The odds are greater that your brother will have a
fat lip.
Q. Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory?
A. I don't remember.
Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and
even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets
smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes,your bladder.
Q. Ever since I've been pregnant, I can't go to bed at night
without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A. Depends on what you're doing
with them.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that
sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant
woman and a Playboy centrefold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows
what's good for him.
Q. What position should the baby be in during the ninth
month of pregnancy?
A. Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.
Q. How long is the average woman in labour?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll
feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might
be called an air current.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery
room while my wife is in labour?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything
to you.
Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver,
who will see me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only--doctors, nurses,
orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews,
journalists, etc.
Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but
the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.
Q. What are forceps?
A. Giant baby tweezers.
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A.Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Does labour cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labour causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Under what circumstances should a baby not be
circumcised?
A. When it's a girl, for starters.
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.
Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to re-
think her plans to nurse.
Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling
them in a saucepan.
Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.
Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.
Q. What is the gasp reflex?
A. The reaction of a new father when he sees the new
mother's breasts.
Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby
from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Nannies aren't cheap are they?
A. Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy.
Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.
Q. What are night terrors?
A. Frightening episodes in which the new mother
dreams she's pregnant again.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Payback Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I live in N.Y. and am used to having people cut me off on the
highway.
But this one time someone cut me off, missing my car by inches, then
flipped me the bird, to boot.
Still steamed, I noticed that we had gotten off at the same exit and
the
convertible'
I
pulled my car over and waited for them to leave the parking lot and
enter the building, then I entered the lot and pulled up next to the
car.
Well, as my luck would have it, I had just made a stop at the
grocery
store and had a loaf of bread that I was willing to donate to this
open
convertible. So I did. I threw slices of bread in the front seat and
in
the back, then I drove off out of the lot and pulled off across the
street.
In a few minutes sea gulls started descending upon the open car and
presumably pooping there as well!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was only a Filmmaker's daughter, and she often ended up on the
cutting-room floor.
"Adam," the heavenly voice called to the Garden of Eden, "what did
you
and Eve do today?" "We ate some fruit, Lord," Adam said reverently.
"Did you eat of the forbidden tree?" asked God. "Yes, Lord, we did,"
Adam confessed. "And then what did you do?" God asked. "We made mad,
passionate love all afternoon." "Where is Eve now?" the Lord
bellowed.
"She's down at the brook washing herself out." "Oh, no," the Lord
moaned." Now all my fish are going to smell like pussy!"
What does a blonde have in common with the United States Army?
They're open to any man between the ages of eighteen and
thirty-five.
A surgeon went to check on his very blonde patient after an
operation.
She was awake, so he examined her thoroughly and told her that she
could expect a complete recovery. She asked him, "How long will it
be
before I can resume a normal sex life again, Doctor?" The surgeon
seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter, Doctor?
I
will be all right, won't I?" He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's
just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils
out."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could
talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he
was
three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could
predict
the future.
One day, he made three predictions: "One year from today,
I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die.
Three years from today, my father will die."
Sure enough, a year later the young boy died.
The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up
his wife with a million dollars in life insurance.
A year later she died.
The father collected the million dollar insurance
benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own
death, went on a 364-day binge. Fast cars! Faster women!
Exotic vacations! Flings with supermodels!
His timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew
the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic
dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie!!!
At midnight, he toasted himself, "What a way to go," and slipped off
into what he assumed would be his *big* sleep.
To his amazement, he woke up the next morning...
He thought he had cheated death! He was invincible!
But then the exotic dancer with whom he'd spend the
night broke the news...
"Honey, better come quick, the pool boy's dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Guillotine are you conscious?
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Life Via Shangy
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Movie Clips
Concert
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Hospital
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Plane Ride
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Romantic Dinner
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman's husband always lets her know when he's not getting enough.
The other night when their boys were being particularly
rambunctious,
and groping each other, she yelled at them "In this house, we don't
touch each other's privates." To which her husband replied, "No
kidding."
What did the MGM cartoon mouse say about the cat's genitalia?
Tom's dick is hairy
We did sex education at school, and were shown various films on the
Subject. One I especially remember was called, "How to put on a
condom." So when the time came, and I was in the position to try out
what I had learned at school, I took the condom and followed the
instructions from the video. All was going well, until she said,
"So,
now what do we do with the banana?"
"Larry and Karen are getting a divorce." "You're kidding! I thought
they had so much in common." "Actually, that's the problem. They
both
like pussy."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today's Winner
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Fuck The Farmers
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Death By Viagra
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Autopsy
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Available Men
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Aye Pod
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire,
And burned her entire
Front page, sports section, and all
____________
With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still implorying for more --
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing;
I simply can't Fuck any more!"
____________
When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TOP 5 LIES WOMEN TELL
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage.
1. I'm cumming!!! I'm cumming!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll never understand women.......
They draw eyebrows on
wear fake eyelashes and nails
a ton of makeup
hair dye
get Botox injections and boob jobs
or padded bras.
Then they go out and have the nerve to bitch that can't find a
"real" man!!!!!!!!!
Myron
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1589
Combat Poker
BJ comes home and finds the dogs rolling around the yard in a
fistfight.
BJ: Hey, what is going on?
Rudy: Oh nothing Pops. We were discussing our last hand of poker.
Sandi: It was a right friendly hand to...until Katie had five aces.
BJ: Five aces, you can't have five aces Katie.
Rudy: Yeah, it beat my five kings.
BJ: Hey, what kind of game are you playing here?
Sandi: We call it anything goes poker. I was winning..
Katie: Yes, she was, she was cheating fair and square.
Rudy: Best hand I had seen, she had a royal flush.
BJ: When..
Rudy: When Katie had her five aces....after discarding three aces.
BJ: Wow!
Sandi: It made me really raise the pot up.
Rudy: Then we got into an argument as to which is the better hand,
a royal flush or five aces.
BJ: Beats me. What was your Royal Flush Sandi?
Sandi: I had an Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven and
Six
of Hearts.
BJ: Gulp! You had the top nine cards and Katie had five aces and
Rudy
had five kings. I think you win.
Rudy: Yeah, she cheated fair and square.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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