THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"The holy passion of friendship is
of so sweet and steady and loyal
and enduring a nature that it will
last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money."
~ Mark Twain ~
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The holiday weekend is here! Traditionally, Memorial day
has always been America's unofficial start of summertime.
Altho gas prices did creep up a bit this last week, they
are not near so high as last year. So if you are planning
a little road trip, you may want to check out some of your
local amusement parks. Hit hard by the recession, many of
them are offering deep discounts to get people in the door.
The postman clan started the weekend out last night with a
trip to Logan's. I splurged and ordered the prime rib.
While I like Logan's, it always seems to be a little noisy
for me, but it is a favorite spot for my kids, 2 of whom
accompanied me and the war department. And the prime was not
bad. Not a lot planned for us this weekend. The war department
has declared war on the yard, and so I gave her $$$ last night.
I am quite sure as soon as she rises from slumber this morning,
she will be out the door headed for Flower basket and the
garden center of Mennards for a myriad of flowering thingies.
I probably will hop on the bike and head down town to catch
the memorial day parade. I feel pretty good this weekend so I
am thinking I might head over to the hardware store later and
buy some paint, and maybe with a little luck I can get some
of that accomplished without gagging and suffocating.
The weather man promises a great weekend if you are camping.
Temps are going to be mid 70s and he says it will be that way
for the whole week. So I am quite sure I'll leave her to her
own devices and go find some pavement to explore on the cycle.
Other than to take in a movie, and to watch the sunset for
at least one night, that will probably be about it for the
postman clan. What will you be doing? BBQ? a little boating,
maybe fishing? I hope you and yours have a enjoyable safe
weekend!
Oh and by the way! We got POWER POINTS today!
Enjoy!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
you're not going out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d040.html
fortune cookies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d041.html
you want to test him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d042.html
the official card---
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d043.html
swine flew
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d044.html
I love bald men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d045.html
a guarantee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d046.html
technical support
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d047.html
should you forward that email
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d048.html
ask me about my grand kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d049.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
cops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5585.html
Nissan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5586.html
I need one of those
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5587.html
have you got the swine flue?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5588.html
Ayoy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5589.html
In the jacuzzi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5591.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
publicity art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2366.html
a woman is driving down the road...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2367.html
the formula of sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2368.html
modern air dynamics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2369.html
FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen all day long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
and knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And forever be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac,
with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
______________
Two farmers, Farmer Bob and Farmer Dan, are having beers in the
local bar. Farmer Bob is a younger man, somewhat new to the farming
business. Conversely, Farmer Dan has been doing it for nearly 20 years
and is the most successful man in town. After a few hours of drinking,
Farmer Bob gets up and says, "I'm gonna go home to feed the beaver."
Farmer Dan asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Farmer Bob replies, "Well, my wife doesn't know about it, but I like
to use names of chores on the farm for having sex." A few months
later, Farmer Bob's tractor breaks down. He's so distraught, he
decides to drown his sorrows at the local bar.
After sulking for a few hours, Farmer Bob decides to return home.
To his surprise, he finds a brand new tractor in front of his house.
He begins to jump for joy. He runs inside to look for his wife.
Farmer Bob says to his wife, "Honey, where did this great tractor
come from?" His wife replies, "Well, Farmer Dan gave it to me. All I
had to do was handle his eggs, and milk his udder!"
______________
TEN TOP THINGS NOT TO SAY ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year.
Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll
shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.
____________
Sarah is talking to her friend Estelle. "I just don't know what's the matter
with you, Estelle. You're nearly 30 years old and you're still not married.
Don't you want a husband?"
"Of course I do," replies Estelle.
"Then I don't understand. You've got really great looks and a good education,
so why haven't you had any proposals?"
"But you're wrong there," replies Estelle,
"I've been asked to get married dozens of times."
"Really?" says Sarah. "By whom, may I ask?"
"By my parents, who else," replies Estelle.
______________
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of
Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in
the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Save the Whales' hat and a
'To Hell with Bush' T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and
thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing
up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two
reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them
threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the
injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. 'I give
you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them. 'I heard there was
bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists
but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'
As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies 'Who was that guy?'
'It was the Pope,' another replied. 'He's in direct contact with Heaven
and has access to all wisdom.'
'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom but he
doesn't know squat about bear hunting!
By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts
and get another one?"
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Foul Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjuk.htm
Fox Hat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anmnh.htm
Fragrance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkio.htm
______________
PAPA Thorn
New toy from Rubik
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=odd-toys0018.jpg
Playbot
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Playbot.jpg
Pulsating hypnotically
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Pulsating.gif
Save a horse
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Save-a-horse.jpg
Racial profiling
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=signs0011.jpg
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Australia Zoo Quest
http://tinyurl.com/pzr7sf
Blazing Squad
http://tinyurl.com/qlfxtt
Insider Tales: Stolen Venus
http://tinyurl.com/qf5ph8
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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