Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Carrier Kitty Hawk leaves active fleet
By Mark D. Faram - Staff writer
Posted : Wednesday May 13, 2009 10:32:50 EDT
For the carrier Kitty Hawk, it's finally the end of the line.
Forty-eight years and two weeks after the ship entered the fleet,
the Navy's last conventionally powered aircraft carrier officially
left the active rolls Tuesday.
There were no bands playing in Bremerton, Wash., where the ship is
now officially in mothballs. A formal decommissioning was held there
Jan. 31.
But there still was tradition to deal with, according to a news
release. Members of the remaining crew lowered the ship's
commissioning pennant from the main mast along with the national
ensign and the First Navy Jack - visual cues the ship is no longer a
member of the fleet.
Kitty Hawk's commanding officer, Capt. Todd Zecchin, closed out the
ship's deck log, which had been kept continuously since the ship's
commissioning April 29, 1961. The event marked the passing of the
ship into the full control of the Bremerton Naval Shipyard, where
the ship is part of the inactive ships facility.
"It's hard to capture the feeling in words," Zecchin said in the
release. "This is the second aircraft carrier that I've
decommissioned, and it doesn't hit you immediately until you've
lowered the commissioning pennant for the last time."
Zecchin was also the final skipper of John F. Kennedy, which
decommissioned in March 2007.
The move also marked the passing of the Navy's oldest active warship
title from the Kitty Hawk to the Norfolk-based nuclear-powered
aircraft carrier Enterprise, commissioned Nov. 25, 1961.
buffalo says Nothing makes you feel older than watching the ships
you
served on retired. Hopefully Inactive ships does a good job of
laying
her up and maybe there will be a need for her someday although I
hate to think of the circumstances that would cause that to happen.
I was listening to talk radio the other morning and they said the
price of
gas had went up overnight to 2.34 a gallon at the station which is
closest
to me. I decided to go fill the Jimmy up as it was down to just
under a
half tank. That cost me 60.00 as a Suburban has a 44 gallon tank and
worked out to right around 13.5 MPG which is not all that bad as
most
was local driving and I drive like a high school kid who just got
his
license. ( did you know a 4000 lb. Jimmy will hit 82 mph in a
quarter mile?)
Anyhow with a full tank of 2.54 a gallon Premium gas I headed out to
Nancy's
house to see how the new toon pages she has been putting up were
coming.
I drove past the Admiral station and they still had Premium for 2.43
a gallon. I guess I should have done some price shopping before
fueling up.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Faith Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes
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Hotel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to
continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to
sleep
for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out
four
hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He
tells
the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't
worth
$350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists
on
speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the man,
and
then explains that the hotel has a spa and exercise room that he and
his
wife could use.
"But we didn't use them", the man complains.
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goes
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and
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"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.
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No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies,
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The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees
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The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he
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"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with
my
wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."
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Sailing Chips
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Back in 1992, as some may recall, the British luxury liner Queen
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this is what was said during the initial radio call. Keep in mind
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the radio operator on the QE2 was speaking with a formal British
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crust style and the Coast Guard watchstander was probably some 18
year
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QE2: United States Coast Guard, United States Coast Guard, this is
the
Queen Elizabeth 2. Over.
USCG: Queen Elizabeth 2 this is Coast Guard Station Castle Hill.
Over.
QE2: United States Coast Guard this is the Queen Elizabeth II. We
appear
to have run aground. Over.
USCG: You're shitting me.
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Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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She
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Bear Chips
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Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
At the brothel, the man made a joke about each potential bedmate in
turn until one slapped him in the face. "I'd like her," he said to
the
Madam. "What on Earth was that all about?" she asked. "Well, it's
the
only piece of advice my father gave me. He said, 'Screw 'em if they
can't take a joke.'"
A dick is like fishing because you throw back the small ones, eat
the
medium ones and mount the large ones.
A sergeant and two men from his platoon went to a tavern near the
base
one night. The sergeant asked an attractive army nurse to join him
in
a game of pool. The nurse said, "I would rather play with your
privates."
Have you heard about the new extra-large tampon? It's called a
"Tightwad."
Two gays got into a heated argument, with one of them saying, "Well,
you can kiss my ass!" The other one blurted out, "This is no time to
talk about romance, Bitch!"
Jim paid $500 to a madam for a virgin whore. He was sent to an
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"They said I'm the first man you ever fucked," he complained. The
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face looks familiar."
Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
L'il Abner
There once was a gal, Daisie Mae,
Who with L'il Abner would play,
Her poker dot blouse,
Would his lust arouse,
And led to hot roll in the hay.
On those nights that she might decline,
He'd tumble for Moonbeam Mc Swine,
And many flies swat,
That circled her spot,
Which had an aroma divine.
'Twas then that the muscled young chap,
Left vulnerable by old Al Capp,
Neglected a sheath,
When dunking beneath,
And got a good case of the clap.
The moral; there's always a catch,
When you see flies drawn to some snatch,
Eschew such a whore,
In all the world o'er,
Especially when you're in Dogpatch.
(Chris Papa)
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates
parts
of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates
Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds
of
pigs around the globe.
Has any one else noticed this?
It gets worse.......
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
Scott
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband is visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left
breast instead of just talking to her. While doing so, the wife lets
out a sigh. Pleasantly surprised, the husband runs out and tells the
doctor. "That is a good sign," suggests the doctor, "Why don't you
try
rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction." The
husband
returns to his wife's bedside and rubs her right breast which brings
a
moan from his wife. He rushes out again and tells the doctor. The
doctor thinks this is amazing and could perhaps be a real break
through. The doctor then suggests the man return to her bedside and
perform oral sex. More than happy to accommodate, the husband
returns
to his wife's bedside to do his deed. Some five minutes later, the
husband comes running from his wife's bedside screaming for the
doctor. "What's going on?" asks the doctor. The husband yells, "My
wife stopped breathing!" "What happened?" asks the doctor.
"Everything
seemed to be looking good a few minutes ago." The husband replies,
"She choked."
Stan Kegel
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1596
The New and Improved, Empowered Rudy
For weeks I have been trying to encourage Rudy to be more assertive
with the girl dogs and not be so submissive with them. Well it has
worked. When Katie and Sandi go outside about four am, Rudy climbs
into bed with me and that is his time. If the girls come back in,
tough
luck. He claims his right to the bed. Now as for Mother's
Day......
Diana: I got Katie and Sandi in the house but Rudy won't go in the
house.
BJ: Look at him, he is pointing to the car with his nose. He wants
to
go for a ride.
Diana: He has never done that before!
BJ: First time for everything. Rudy has been changing a lot
recently.
Diana: I will get a leash and we will take him to see your mother
at the
nursing home.
Later at the nursing home...
BJ: He is doing quite well and everyone here wants to pet him.
Diana: I am just amazed at Rudy. In all the years we had him ...
he
never asked to go for a ride.
BJ: He is changing a lot. I have worked with him.
Rudy: Hey toots, give me some credit. Thanks pops for standing
behind me and giving me a push when I needed it.
BJ: You are a funny guy Rudy.
The herd in Guthrie
(exactly what happened)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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