THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If you are focused on the way it's "supposed" to be,
you might miss the opportunity to enjoy it as it "is"
Look amazing in all the right places! Get 3-Months to the tanning salon of your
choice, a $150 value, yours FREE!
http://www.tinyurl.com/db2hc8
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
In case you missed yesterday's issue, we were talking about
the great American conspiracy. No, not ufo's and all that,
I am referring to the bathroom floor commode rug. I
personally suggested that this was probably one of the most
annoying inventions known to man. However, my friend Bill
responded with yet another...
He says...
Not to mention when the woman has the tank and toilet seat
covered in the same fuzzy material as the rug, which means the
seat does not want to stay open while you are peeing and it
comes down and whacks Willie right on the head causing you
to pee on everything fuzzy and the roll of toilet paper to boot.
Woman then wants to know why her 3 pc. toilet ensemble is
laying in the bath tub and why the toilet paper ain't so Charmin
anymore.
Bill has a very valid point here. He says the toilet seat cover is probably
the other god awful way that women set out to foil an otherwise
simple pleasure of life. There is nothing so irritating when you
gotta pee, balance yourself against the wall, aim poor willie, and
then try to hold the toilet seat up.
You know, poor old Willie has only 2 little pleasures in life.
We all know the first one, and we all know that women totally control
that one. See, toilet seat covers and commode floor rugs are
probably womens' attempt to control the other one.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
I am not!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b022.html
time for a walk?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b021.html
three?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b023.html
Run!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b024.html
bad place to fish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b025.html
how pirates do it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b026.html
voodoo postman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b027.html
redneck chandelier
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b028.html
aging
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b029.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
bear traffic control
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5472.html
Clear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5473.html
Don't go out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5474.html
The swine flu song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5476.html
Mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5477.html
Grand ma's stuff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5478.html
The star Spangled Banner-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5479.html
________________
Two friends from upper Michigan were talking about how cold it got
last winter where each of them lives. "It was so cold, even
conversation froze in the air," says Bill. "There was a
terrible babble in the spring when all those words finally thawed
out." "Humph," grumped Martin, the other man. "It was so cold,
it even froze the
flame on my candle. In exasperation, I plucked it off and threw it out
my cabin door. Yessiree, it was a bad last winter! But, not as bad as
spring, of course."
"Why, what happened then?" asks Bill.
"Well," replies Martin, "come spring the candle flame thawed out
and burned down my cabin."
____________
Two newfies are walking down a street in Toronto, when they see a
sign on a store that reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each,
trousers $2.50 per pair."
One Newfie says to his pal, "Looky here! We could buy a whole gob
of dese, take 'em back to St John's , sell 'em to our friends, and
make a fortune. Now when we go in there, you be quiet, okay? Just let
me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think
we're ignorant, and try to cheat us. Now, I'll try to sound like
we're from Ontario.
So they go in and one of the Newfie says with his best Ontario
accent,"I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there
shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50
each. I'll back up my pickup and ."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Newfoundland, ain't
you?" "Well...yeah," says a surprised Newfie. "How'd you know
dat!""Because this is a dry-cleaners."
______________
A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody.
Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson,
the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this 'miracle doctor'
to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment
he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't
taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratched his head
and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is
jar number 47." So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr.
Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out,
"This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste
Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.
One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once
again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started,
"I can't remember anything!" Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as
the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson,
"What you need is jar number 47, it's......"
But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr.Thompson was
cured and fled the room!
_____________
"You just go ahead," said Jack to his wife when they
got to the shopping mall. "While you're shopping, I'll just
browse in the hardware store."
An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout
counter. The clerk was ringing up the last of a pile of tools
and supplies that would fill two wheelbarrows.
"Are you buying all this?" his wife asked incredulously.
"Well, yes," Jack said, embarrassed. Then waving his arm
toward the interior of the store, he added, "But look at
all the stuff I'm leaving behind."
_____________
I walked in on the wife the other day struggling with the ironing board.
She usually keeps it folded up and out of the way behind the laundry room
door and then pulls it out on the rare occasion something actually needs
ironing, like one of my dress shirts or a blouse she's planning on wearing.
She was pulling and yanking on the thing when she saw me and declared, "
You need to go out and buy me a new ironing board. It's almost impossible
to get this thing's legs open."
"Now you know what I have to deal with," I responded.
_____________
Etch a sketch help desk.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
_________
BUFFALO BILL
Experience
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41029.htm
fake O
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41030.htm
Filling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41032.htm
_________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
The Professionals
http://tinyurl.com/d3bu6g
Stunt Dirt Bike
http://tinyurl.com/d8zyks
Angel or Devil?
http://tinyurl.com/de46nb
__________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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