THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Marriage is one of the rare historical occurrences in
which the conqueror is subordinated by the conquered
Branislav Nusic
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I got my first SSI check the other day. I have discovered something
i had not expected when you rely on the "government dole". At least
for me, I find somehow that it takes away focus and perspective. Its
like, ok, I'm 52 years old. what am I going to do with the rest of my
life? And I must admit, I find myself struggling with questions of
usefulness and other things. Never gave it a thought when I was 20 or
30 years old, working, sometimes 2 jobs, always doing whatever I
had to do for my family. Now it seems like everything stops. I get up
in the morning, kiss her goodbye. and stand there looking at the four
walls. But then, I go to my mailbox, and I find an email like this one
from my reader friend, Gloria...
Hey Postman,
You are one of the only things I have subscribed to that I truly LOVE reading.
You live REAL life, just like most of us do.
Thanks for entertaining me, and tell your wife and dog Hi. :)
Gloria.
Words like these help keep me going.
Fortunately for me, The Postman's Corner gives me a unique capability.
It gives me a sense of purpose because every day, I have the chance to
bring a little joy and chuckle to 20 thousand people. It also gives me
a little purpose to get up in the morning. It allows me the opportunity
to pay back to society for all the blessings that my government has given
me. Its a great nation. I'm glad I live here.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
if women ran hell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c010.html
that'll teach em
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c011.html
he's depressed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c012.html
stay back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c013.html
a faulty motherboard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c014.html
wines for any occasion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c015.html
at the vd clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c016.html
99 problems
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c017.html
hospital shortage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c018.html
you lied
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c019.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
keep it that way
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5515.html
sext cam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5516.html
marriage proposal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5517.html
asta la vista
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5518.html
Chinese Microsoft
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5519.html
Goldie Hawn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5520.html
survival
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5521.html
___________
Herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy
felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.
She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts
at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because
he loved her sooo much. However, Herb felt this was also the time
for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too.
Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem.
My winky is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with
that once we are married.'She said, 'Yes, I will marry you and learn
to live with your infant size winky.'Sandy and Herb got married and they
could not wait for the honeymoon. Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel
suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another.
As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out
of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'
'Yes, it is ... 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 19 inches long.'
____________
Joe runs into Mike at the hardware store. "I heard you're dating Carol
lately," says Joe.
Mike replies, "That's right; I am."
Joe asks, "Man, how can you stand to look at her? I'm sorry, Mike,
but that gal is UGLY!"
Mike answers, "That's okay, Buddy! All I ever see is the top of her head,
and she has pretty hair!"
____________
Two manufacturers requiring a private secretary called in a psychologist.
After testing more than thirty applicants, the psychologist eliminated all
but three of them.In the final test, the first girl was called in.
"How much is three and three the dome-prober asked.
"Six," she replied.
The second girl was asked the same question and replied, "It could be thirty-three."
The third one answered, "It could be six and it could be thirty-three."
When the girls left the room, the psychologist turned proudly to the partners
and said, "That's logic for you.
You noted that the first girl had the obvious answer, the second girl showed more
imagination, and the third showed both practicality and imagination. Now which
girl will you hire?" The partners moved over to the opposite corner of the room,
conferred briefly and then announced their decision. "We'll take the blonde in
the sweater."
____________
A man was boarding a plane on his way back from visiting family over the holidays
when he heard another passenger shout to a man in the crowd waiting to see him off,
"Good bye. Your wife was a great lay!"
After the plane was in flight, the first man walked over to the one who had done
the shouting and asked, "Did I hear you correctly? Did you actually have the
audacity to tell that man his wife was a great lay?"
The other man shrugged his shoulders. "It isn't really true," he said, "but I
didn't want to hurt his feelings."
_____________
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu,
'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40
please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger,
chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,'
says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how
do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed,
and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand
in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars
or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is
always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a
big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
No screwing in public restrooms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42516.htm
Work For head
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42517.htm
Wicked Picture
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42518.htm
_________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Warlords Fighting Game
http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm
Desert Rifle
http://tinyurl.com/crpyce
Moose Crash
http://tinyurl.com/ckb7kr
__________
SYDESJOKE LIST
Wheelchair Access Meeting
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001606.html
Stupid Game Show Answers #1
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001607.html
Welding
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001604.html
Snowboarding Down Mountain
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001605.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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