Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The rest of the Navy story as promised.
We
approached Yankee Station with the propeller and its shaft uncoupled
at a thrust block. A thrust block is a bearing that keeps the shaft
from moving forward or back when the propeller pushes the ship.
There is a flange 4 feet in diameter with bolts as big as a man's
calf for the purpose of disconnecting it. About time for the evening
meal we secured from flight ops and the ship was turned over to the
engineers to recouple the shaft by using the other propellers to
bump the flanges to the right spot to reinsert the bolts. Yankee
Station was about 90 miles from the Vietnam coast line and not
exactly the place you wanted to sit dead in the water for a long
period of time. The ship was in a relaxed condition with the Alert
Five on the flight deck ready to go and down 10 decks below snipes
were sledge hammering the bolts tight on the coupling. I had just
sat down with a tray of food to eat on the fwd. messdecks when the
General Quarters alarm sounded, proceeded with this is not a drill.
As I ran to my station above number 2 main you could hear the
machinery revving up and feel the vibration as the three propellers
were accelerated to a flank bell. We could go from 0-30 knots fast
enough to pull hundreds of water skiers but the next thing we heard
was," Launch the Alert Five." Now the catapults used anywhere from
100 to 600 psi of steam to launch a plane with depending on the
weight of the plane and its normal takeoff speed. Since we had
nowhere close to 30 knots of wind across the flight deck they
cranked the cat pressure to max and went to full afterburners on the
two F-4 Phantoms on the cats. If you can imagine the G force of
driving a dragster and double or triple that then you can imagine
what the pilots and RIO's felt as they were pressed into their seats
and the wings of their aircraft stressed almost to the breaking
point. Over the 1MC shipwide announcement system the Captain
informed us that we had two aircraft coming towards from the North
from N. Vietnam or China and believed to be TU-44 Bear Bombers. A
minute or so later the Hawkeye Radar surveillance plane got airborne
along with a Prowler electronic Warfare plane and a tanker to refuel
anyone who needed it. Additional Phantoms were firing up and our
escorts had their missiles out and tracking. Bears did regular
flights over carrier groups and they were always escorted because
you never knew what was going on, we were not friends back then. At
mach 2 you are going over 20 miles a minute and it didn't take long
to intercept the targets. Fortunately they were ours, two Air Force
planes from Clark Air force Base on a training flight.
We all breathed a sigh of relief and started putting away
our gear. Life in the Navy was full of training and little tests,
some planned and some unplanned and each time you passed you became
a little more confident that you knew what you were doing. Our
carriers are the largest warships ever built but in the back of your
mind you know that with the advancement in anti-ship technology
during war you become nothing more than a weapons delivery platform
and once your planes and their special weapons are on their way
towards their targets your mission becomes pretty much one-way. You
try to survive and survivability has improved over the years but if
you become overconfident you only have to remember what happened to
the British in the Falklands twenty years ago. A small Air Force
with a handful of Exocet missiles raised utter chaos with their task
force. Even 25 years later a call to General Quarters still sends a
shiver down my spine. There are no games when you get to that point
just keeping your ship afloat and your shipmates safe. Afterwards
there are times for jokes and stories like sitting in a bar
reminiscing with a gunner's mate from the John Paul Jones on how
they had almost shot down those two planes on that day.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Welcome to Buffalo-Lite, Humor some mature , some immature for
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Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Harley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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If your Harley smokes, you can do something about it.
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You can call your Harley a hog and it wont get pissed.
You don't have to give your Harley a ring in order to get a ride!
YOU
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL IT YOU LOVE IT!
You can always tell if your Harley is turned on or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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going to have to learn to fight that too !
============
You know the romance is over when you come to bed,
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============
The old professor goes to see a psychiatrist to
complain about his oversexed wife. The old professor
confides to the shrink, "Mrs. Professor will stop at
nothing to satisfy her lustful, kinky desires and
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The psychiatrist says, "Please tell Mrs. Professor I'd
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Kinky Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy is sitting at the bar drinking to drown his sorrows. A
beautiful
woman sits down next to him, orders a double, and sighs deeply. He
turns
to her and asks her, "So what's wrong in your life?" She hardly
glances
at him and says, "My husband left me today." He says, "What a
coincidence. My wife left me today." They keep drinking for a few
minutes and then he asks her, "So why did he leave you?" She looks
at
him and says, "He said he couldn't stand living with me anymore." He
says, "What a coincidence! My wife said she couldn't stand living
with
me anymore, too." They drink some more and then he asks her, "So
what
couldn't he stand about living with you?" She smiles at him a little
and
says, "Well, I like really kinky sex and he didn't, so he left." The
guy
shakes his head in disbelief and says, "This is incredible! I like
really kinky sex and that's why my wife left." They drink some more,
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"Yes,"
she quickly says, "my apartment is right around the corner." So they
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goes
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to find the guy heading out the door. "Why are you leaving?" she
asks
him, "You just got here. I thought we were going to have some kinky
sex."
He looks at her and shrugs, "Hey, I screwed your dog and shit in
your
purse. I'm done."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adultery Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the
confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to
cover
for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the
priest
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The
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In a few minutes a woman comes in and says 'Father forgive me for I
have
sinned.' The priest asks 'What did you do?'. The woman says
'ICommitted
adultery.' Priest: 'How many times?' Woman: 'Three times.' Priest:
'Say
two
Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.'
A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says
'Father
forgive me for I have sinned.' Priest: 'What did you do?' Woman: 'I
committed adultery.' Priest: 'How many times?' Woman: 'Three times.'
Priest: 'Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no
more.'
The
rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest
leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says 'Father forgive me
for
I have sinned.'
Rabbi: 'What did you do?' Woman: 'I committed adultery.'
Rabbi: 'How many times?' Woman: 'Just once.'
Rabbi: 'Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three
for
$5.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still,
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away,
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window,
And crushed his fucking head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two happy out of work bums decided that they would be better off
begging
in a more downtown location so they hitched a ride. The driver
dropped
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A hooker approached one of the bums and said, "Say guy... ...Would
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy from a city once went to go see his old
collage pal who lived on a farm. One morning
the city slicker got up early and decided to fix
breakfast for his friends family.
By the time he got from the pasture to the hose
his friend was up so the guy from the city decided
to show his friend what he got. When he walked
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The city guy said, "I milked the cow for you this
morning."
The farmer replied, "I don't have a cow. I have
a bull!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1601
El Scorcho
Tami is running about 831st out of 1,201 after making three bathroom
stops.
Tami: I do not understand why I have had to go to the bathroom so
much. I am running faster than I ever had before.
Katie: Come on Tami, faster, faster. Just keep up with me.
Tami: I am glad you are running with me Kate, you are the fastest
runner out here.
Katie: Come on let's go.
Tami: I am really thirsty.
Rudy: Here ya go Tami, have a drink.
Gulp! Gulp!
Tami: Thanks.
Rudy: You are drinking good, that is the second bottle you have
drank. I will be back and get some more.
Tami: Hurry back.
Rudy runs over to the side and starts to fill up the water bottle.
Sandi: What are you pouring into her water bottle?
Rudy: I am pouring from this bottle I found.
Sandi: Tequila! This is no good. She will get plastered out
there.
Rudy: Really?
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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