THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs."
Karl Marx
Today's version;
"From each according to his ability to obtain cheap pre-recession credit,
to each according to his need for a flat screen TV"
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
A couple of you observant folks wrote in yesterday to
ask me why I had no comments to make at the beginning of
the page, as is my usual routine. To be honest, there
were a couple reasons. First I really didn't have much
to say. No sense boring you with a lot of drivel. Oh.
I forgot, this is pretty much drivel no matter how you
look at it. But, in addition, I confess that I was a little
ticked off yesterday. I'd cancelled a recent
appointment with my pulminologist. Its not that I
have a death wish, but lets face it, there ain't nothin
the docs can do for me, when it comes right down to it.
So, I'm figgerin, why waste my time and the docs, right?
well, the war department, unbeknownst to me, decided to
take it upon herself and reschedule me. That would not
be an issue I suppose. I could have gone in with just a little
grumbling. But, I'd just gotten the new riding boots I
ordered delivered the day before, and I had also just
picked up the bike from the Honda shop after the valve
alignment, so I'd made plans to ride yesterday. I got
up yesterday morning and was busy putting on gear and
she comes downstairs. "BTW, I forgot to tell you, you have
a doctor's appointment this morning."
"I never scheduled a doctors visit today."
"I know, I did, and I forgot to tell you."
Grrr.
See, she wants the docs to "fix me" even tho there is nothing
they can really do. Its admirable that she wants to show
her concern with such things. But damn, why can't she do it
on a rainy day? :)
I did manage to get out for a while later on last night. Packed
the fishing rod and rode down to the river just a little while
before sunset. Man, I caught me a carp that would have made
Jonah jealous. Had to be close to 20 pounds.
Darn near snapped the line on my Eagle claw.
It has been ages since I've smoked any fish,
and I have that rascal cookin nicely in the smoker this morning
as I write this. Before you city dwellers turn up your noses,
you should try it. Some parts of the country, smoked carp is
a delicacy and in a day or so there's gonna be good eatin!
Oh well, today its sunny, she is at work, and the open road
calls loud and clear! Enjoy your day!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
H2O
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e050.html
almost done
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e051.html
where's Peterson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e052.html
wash rag
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e053.html
in and out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e054.html
stolen identity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e055.html
a very wise man said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e056.html
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Soulja Spongebob
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5622.html
funny clips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5623.html
robot chicken-Star wars
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5624.html
catch and release
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5625.html
pissin in the park
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5626.html
A Jewish man was in St. Vincent's Hospital recovering from an operation
when a nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and
ailing. The man and nun started talking and the nun asked about the
man's life. The man talked about his wife and 13 children.
"My, my," said the nun, "13 children . . . You're a good, proper
Catholic family man. G-d is very proud of you!"
"I'm sorry, Sister," the man said, "I am not Catholic. I'm Jewish."
"Jewish!?" she replies and immediately gets up to leave.
"Sister, why are you leaving?"
"I didn't realize I was talking to a sex maniac!"
_________
A mother was dropping her son off at a friend's house.
She said to him, "Will you be good while Mommy's gone?"
The boy replied, "If you give me a dollar!"
His mother shook her head and said to him, "Why can't you be good
for nothing like your father?!"
______________
A guy from Michigan dies and is sent to Hell.
He had been a horrible man his entire life.
The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. To
make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and the humidity.
After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is
suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the guy from Michigan is
happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.
The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned
the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"
The guy from Michigan , with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies,
"This is great! It reminds me of August in Michigan . Hot, humid, a good
place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the remarks of the
guy from Michigan . Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a
driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess.
Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, the guy
from Michigan is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow
full of crushed rocks.
Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions.
The guy from Michigan replies, "This is great! Just like April in Michigan.
It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting!"
The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make the
guy from Michigan suffer. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly
Hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make
the guy from Michigan unhappy, the devil checks in on him.
He is again aghast at what he sees. The guy from Michigan is dancing,
singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero!?"
screams the devil.
Jumping up and down, the guy from Michigan throws a snowball at the
devil and yells,
"Hell's frozen over! This means the Lions won the Super Bowl!"
_______________
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The
old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to quench his
parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to
the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his
face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a
gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger
looked at the old man and laughed, saying,
"Hey, old man -- have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never danced,
and I've never wanted too." A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger
grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started
shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, in order not to get a
toe blown off or his boots perforated, was soon hopping around like a flea
on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to bust. When the last bullet
had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and
turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun
and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly
through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young
gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly.
The quiet was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman
stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
He found it hard to swallow. The barrel of the shotgun never wavered in the
old man's hands.
The old man said, "Son, did you ever kiss a mule's ass?"
The young bully swallowed hard and said, "No sir, but I've always wanted to."
There are two lessons for us all here:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old people. I just love a story with a happy ending...... ..
_____________
A doctor's story
While trying to track down the cause of a recurrent vaginitis
in a young woman, I asked her whether her partner was cir-
cumcised. My query drew only a blank look. I rephrased the
question in what I felt was a clever and tactful manner: "When
he doesn't have an erection, can you see the head of his penis,
or is it covered by folds of skin?"
Her unabashed and matter-of-fact response: "I've never seen him
without an erection."
I felt rather 'obsolete' the rest of the day.
______________
BUFFALO Bill
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Fruit Shooting
http://tinyurl.com/pkgjd3
Wild Tribe
http://tinyurl.com/p9pcsd
Call of Duty 2
http://tinyurl.com/cu33xd
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Ex-lax Advert
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001645.html
Bill Clinton
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001646.html
________________
PAPA Thorn
Gymnastic basketball
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=sports0034.jpg
Stone cold pussy
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Stone-cold-pussy.jpg
Suck more
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=suck-more.jpg
Surprise!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Surprise.jpg
Explicit
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=tshirt-010.jpg
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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