Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A Memorial Day Poem
By C W Johnson
We walked among the crosses
Where our fallen soldiers lay.
And listened to the bugle
As TAPS began to play.
The Chaplin led a prayer
We stood with heads bowed low.
And I thought of fallen comrades
I had known so long ago.
They came from every city
Across this fertile land.
That we might live in freedom.
They lie here 'neath the sand.
I felt a little guilty
My sacrifice was small.
I only lost a little time
But these men lost their all.
Now the services are over
For this Memorial Day.
To the names upon these crosses
I just want to say,
Thanks for what you've given
No one could ask for more.
May you rest with God in heaven
From now through evermore
Sent by Cheryl Anthony
As we start the summer season with our first holiday weekend,
please drive carefully. I want to see all of you back safely on
Tuesday. Remember it is not enough to not drink and drive, you
have to watch out for the idiots that do and give them a wide berth.
Enjoy the chips, Party at Nancy's on Memorial Day.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient.
"One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes
that the patient will die if he doesn't have his
testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could
I let you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically,
at which point the patient has to agree to have
his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes
back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the
other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to
live, his other testicle must be cut off, too.
Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the
patient has to agree with the operation. After
two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient
returns to the doctor and says, "I think
something is very wrong with me. My penis is now
completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doctor
gives him the bad news: If he wants to live, his
penis has to go. Of course, the patient does not
want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But...how do I pee?"
"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be
no problem." So the patient has his penis
removed, and, a while after the operation, the
unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again.
He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"
"What?"
"Can you tell me what the hell is happening??"
The doctor examines the patient more carefully
and says, "Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the
jeans?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Adams Thing
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Address the ball
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Adidass
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Adopted
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING
Kissing/Light Petting
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless
before
your seductive ways!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic
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Undressing
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
What
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Foreplay/Oral Sex
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your
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Penetration
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in
half!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
Your Orgasm
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!" What
he's
afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this
performance.
(other
guy's name here), yes!"
Postcoital Bliss
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels
like." What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my
lesbian
friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHRISTIAN PICKUP LINES
- Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin?
- I don't speak in tongues, but I sure do kiss that way.
- Excuse me, is this pew taken?
- Hi, my name's Will... God's Will.
- I predicted David over Goliath.
- God was showing off when he made you.
- I'm pretty flexible. I don't think a woman should be
submissive on the first date.
- Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
- You know Jesus? Me too!
- No, I'm not coveting... I intend to make you mine.
- Christians don't shake hands, Christians hug!
- Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
- What do you think Paul meant when he said, "Greet
one another with a holy kiss"?
- Do you really believe "it is more blessed to give than
to receive"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are
traveling through Europe in their car. They get to
Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula
jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through
the windshield.
"Quick, quick", shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do"?
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of
the abomination"
Sister Marilyn switches the wipers on, knocking
Dracula about, but he clings on and continues
hissing at the nuns.
"Now what"? shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross", says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking", says Sister Marilyn as she
opens the window and shouts.....
"GET THE FUCK OFF THE CAR!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The big bad wolf said "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your
house down".
The little pig said "F*** off or I'll sneeze on you".
Patricia
While making love to his wife, Bill discovered he couldn't enjoy it.
Though they had been married only a few years, he reflected
unhappily,
their lovemaking had become infrequent and bland. Then quite
suddenly,
alarmed, he
said: "What happened, did I hurt you?"
"Why no, not at all." said his surprised wife.
"Whatever made you ask that?"
"Well... no reason actually." the bored husband replied with a sigh,
"It's just that for a moment there, I thought you actually moved."
In a biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me
why a flounder is flat?"
Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents about
this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes protrude from
its
head?"
Again Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the
lobster saw it, and his eyes popped out in shock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teenage boy and his steady girlfriend were making out in his
parked car, when the boy got really turned on, and said, "Please
darlin', I can't take it anymore, I have to get some relief."
-
His girl replies, "You know I am saving myself until we get
married!"
-
He continues to plead and begs her, "What if I just put the head in
for a while, just let me marinate it a little?"
-
Finally getting a bit steamed up herself, she reluctantly agrees,
but says, only if it's the head. So he anxiously unzips and
fumbling, puts the head of his manhood into the softness of her
secret treasure and that's all he does, well for about 30 seconds
anyway, but in the heat of passion, he gets carried away and before
you know it he's put it in entirely and is pumping away with deep
thrusts for all he's worth.
-
After a few minutes his lady love moans and thrilling to the
mounting pleasure and a new awareness, haltingly gasps "I know we
have this deal, that you are only putting the head in, but... this
feels so damn good, go ahead and give it all to me!"
-
Jolted to his senses, stopping in mid thrust, but thinking quickly
our hero responds, "Nope, a deals a deal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Our Hide Away
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OVERHEARD IN SURGERY
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Carolyn w/ Hound Dog
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Its Bacon Time !
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How does shuttering dealerships help car companies?
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About Countries
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6,000 ft fall without a parachute in Russia
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Teach Yourself Graphic Design
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design-a-self-
US Animations
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Movie Clips
Foul Ball
http://www.buffalos
Fox Hat
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Fragrance
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French Anti Tank
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Friendly Dolphin
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For The Lazy Sports Fanatic
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Fox Thief
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Freak out. No Whopper
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Fred Astaire & Eleanor Powell
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Friends Come and Go
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn
on.
The young doctor was taking his wife out one evening, when a pretty
girl smiled and spoke to him. The wife scenting an earlier love
affair, inquired: "Who is the lady, dear?" "Oh, just a girl I have
met
professionally.
Yours or hers?"
The boy vampire said to the girl vampire, "See you next period."
The distinguished-
information kiosk where he might purchase some personal stationery.
He
was directed to the notions department on the third floor, but in
the
crowded elevator he became confused and got off on the fourth floor
by
mistake. Approaching the attractive floor manager standing near the
elevator doors, he said, "Excuse me, Miss, but do you have notions?"
"Sure," she replied mischievously, "but during the work week I try
to
suppress them until after five o'clock." "No, no, you don't
understand," he stammered. "I mean to say, do you keep stationery?"
"No, I like to go with the flow right till the end," replied the
floor
manager, laughing. "And then I just start quivering all over."
Pick-Up Lines: Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out
my package.
A blonde at a party, was telling her friend that she'd gone off men
for life. "They lie, they cheat, and they're just no good," she
moaned. "From now on when I want sex, I'm going to use my tried and
tested plastic companion," she said. "What happens when the
batteries
run out?" asked her friend. "That's simple," replied the blonde.
"I'll
just fake an orgasm as usual!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
you're hired
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hold these
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on face book
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Beach
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Beach Beauties
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Beach Hut
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Mr. Bate
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Handy bra
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Not obscene
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An arrogant wench from Salt Lake
Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
She was finally the prize
Of a man twice her size
And all she recalls is the ache.
There was a young man named Keith,
Who liked to be fondled beneath,
When she'd start with her lips,
Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips...
But not when the bitch used her teeth!
There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her.
To cry, when you came,
"Oh dear! What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This beautiful young Polish chick walks into the health clinic and
begins to talk to the nurse. "Excuse me, ma'am, is this where I can
get a vassilation?
"I think you mean you need a vaccination,
"Yeah, whatever. Just don't give it to me on my arm because I wear a
sleepless nightgown."
"You mean a sleeveless nightgown?"
"Yeah, whatever. And don't give it to me on my thigh because I have
a
zucchini bathing suit."
"You mean a bikini?"
"Yeah, ok. And don't give it to me on my virginia."
"You mean your vagina?"
"All right!!" shouts the Polish girl. "Virginia, vagina, just as
long
as I don't get small cox!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the
cows and was lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the
local beer hall. One of them said, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the
same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick." "How
did
you get it fixed?" asked Ben. "Well I just dipped my finger in the
cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose and he got right
after her." Ben went home to the farm and decided to try it. He
grabbed a cow, dipped his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubbed it
all around the bull's nose. The bull got a rip roaring boner and
immediately jumped on the cow. Ben was impressed. That night, he got
into bed with his wife and can't get the effect on the bull out of
his
mind. As she lay sleeping, Ben dips his fingers into his wife's
vagina
and feeling that it was nice and wet, rubbed it all around his nose
and got a rip roaring hard on. He quickly shook his wife awake and
cried out, "Honey, look!" She rolled over, turned on the light and
said, "You mean you woke me up in the middle of the night just to
show
me that you have a nosebleed?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1603
El Scorcho
Tami grabs her bicycle and starts peddling moving ahead in the
standings.
Katie has her own unique bike designed by her. It enables Katie
to lay down and use her four feet to pedal. The bike has four
wheels.
Katie flies down the road beside Tami. Rudy huffs and puffs beside
Katie on his bike.
Tami: What is our position now?
Sandi on her radio: You are in the top 1/3 rd, still a ways to go,
but
doing well. There is a steep hill coming up so save your energy and
on the slope be careful...you can go very fast downhill.
Katie: Don't listen to her...follow me!
Up the hill they go peddling hard and fast and passing people.
Rudy: Huff puff, wait for me.
Katie: Sorry ole sport, we must be heading off.
Tami: I am getting tired Katie...
Katie: We are almost at the top then we can coast downhill.
Tami, turning blue in the face: Okay, how much further?
Katie: We are there, now it is downhill. Yahoo!
Tami exhausted: Finally...
A few minutes later, Tami: Hey, we are going pretty fast.
Katie: That's okay, go with it, my speedometer reads 70 mph.
Tami: Mine to, is that a curve up ahead?
Katie: Gulp!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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