THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
He who is not courageous enough to take risks
will accomplish nothing in life."
~Muhammad Ali
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
I was watching one of those news shows talking about the new program they have
to raise fuel standards and help sell cars.The idea of this most recent law by
the Obama administration is to offer car owners an incentive to sell their old
clunker for a government rebate. I can see the hassle now. Old cars not
worth a hundred bux are suddenly going to be worth a thousand. The news commentator
talked about how in the 70s the last government push for more economical cars
led to the design of unreliable vehicles like the Vega and the Pinto. I found that
comment rather humorous because one of the best cars I ever owned was a Pinto.
With over a hundred thousand miles on it when I bought it, I paid a grand total
of about 100 bux for it when I found it in the bargain corner of the newspaper.
Drove it for 2 years. and when both doors rusted shut so you could not open them,
I sold it to someone else for a hundred bux. Never could figure it out tho, every
time we went somewhere my kids used to cry when we buckled them into their
car seats in the back, and it rained. We finally realized that the floor
boards were rusted out and the water from the road used to splash up through the
holes and scare them. Eventually, when both doors rusted shut and you couldn't
open them, I would climb in through the window. Wife would hand me first kid
through the window, and I would strap her in. Then, same thing with the second kid.
Finally, wife would climb in the front seat through the window herself.
Finally one day my parents saw me loading the family up that way and loaned me
money to buy another car. Altho that PINTO was rusted through and through, it
ran like a top, and it wouldn't surprise me if it was still running today
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
before the bowtox
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d010.html
that one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d011.html
dyslexic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d012.html
onion, union, whats the difference
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d013.html
easy steps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d014.html
it was a little too long
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d015.html
Simpson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d016.html
Noah's answering machine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d017.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
pole stripper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5565.html
hidden camera-traffic stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5566.html
maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Michael Jackson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5567.html
a splash at the water park
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5568.html
more hidden camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5569.html
teaching them sports
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5570.html
"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaimed the man. "There's something terribly
wrong with my digestive system. When I eat bananas, bananas come out
the other end. When I eat apples, apples come out the other end.
What should I do?"
"Simple," the doctor replied. "Eat shit."
____________
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start
cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old
continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell
and you say ass."
"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he
wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,
gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot
pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room
and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with
a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
_____________
A new bus driver stopped at a bus stop, opened his door, and on stepped a
huge hulk of a man: six feet eight, muscles everywhere, he announced to
the driver, "Big John don't pay!" and sat down at the back.
The driver was about five feet three, 120 pounds, so he didn't argue with
Big John. The next day, the same thing happened: Big John got on again,
made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And on and on.
The driver started losing sleep over how Big John was taking advantage of
him, until he could take no more. He joined a gym, signed up for body
building courses, karate, judo, and worked out religiously. Within six months,
he was strong; what's more, he was self-confident.
The next Monday, Big John once again got on the bus and announced,
"Big John don't pay!"This time the bus driver stood up, glared back at him,
and said firmly, "And why not?"
A surprised Big John replied, "Big John got bus pass!"
____________
Mark fixed himself a martini to carry him through
the ordeal of waiting while Peggy got ready for
their date, he could hear her singing in the
shower. "Sorry I'm so late," she finally called
out to him, "but I was shopping and lost track of
the time." Clutching a large towel about her, he
edged into the room. "Would you like to see me in
my new dress?" she asked.
Mark took appreciative note of her newly bathed
charms straining at the confines of the barely
adequate towel. "I would like," he said with a
smile, "nothing better."
_____________
Mary and Sue were always trying to get the
other's goat and today they were meeting for lunch.
Mary noticed that Sue was walking bowlegged and
asked what the problem was.
Sue replied, "Oh nothing. It's just that my
husband is so big, I just can't take it."
Mary replied, "I know. I know."
___________
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she
needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of
one in her size. She entered an upscale
department store and approached the saleslady in
lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so
she left the store and proceeded to another
department store where she is rebuffed in much
the same manner. After a third try at another
department store in the mall, she had become
disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.
Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned
and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have
anything for this?"
The lady looked closely at her and replied,
"Have you tried Clearasil?"
___________
BUFFALO Bill
El Rey Del Martillo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgtg.htm
En weg zijn re rimpels
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkl.htm
Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okik.htm
________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Quick Shot
http://tinyurl.com/qcllcc
Escape Rosecliff Island
http://tinyurl.com/oo896y
Balloon Shooter
http://tinyurl.com/cjohej
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment