THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure
is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
Get a free gift card to Sam's Club!
http://www.tinyurl.com/dll3p4
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
The work progresses slowly on the remodling project. My son is camping out
in the living room on the couch. and borrowing the war department's computer
while the neighbor hangs sheet rock in his room. Yesterday, he did some wiring
and added some outlets, and a new light fixture. Then he got probably half
of the sheetrock up on the walls. It is a slow process. Neighbor works 10 hour
days at the job so he only comes over to help on a day off. That is ok. He
is not charging me a fortune and since I am a cheapskate, we can take our time.
The upstairs is a mess. All of the stuff from sons's room is out in the hallway,
and in daughter's room and in our room. That can make it somewhat challenging
when I have this nice long tube for oxygen to deal with at night time. But things
will get back to normal soon enough. It will be nice when it gets all done.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
Winnie the pooh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a051.html
worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a052.html
Miles was fired from the Acme co.
because he had a warped sense of humor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a053.html
Canada
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a054.html
outwardly intelligent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a055.html
perfect
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a056.html
good boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a057.html
watch out for the pits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a058.html
www stands for...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a059.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the skunk duo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5451.html
Bob Hope and James Cagne
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5452.html
bread commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5453.html
extra energy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5454.html
Shii for her
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5455.html
who cares
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5456.html
A tourist is walking on a country road, when a farmer comes along with his
horse-drawn cart. "Excuse me, is this the road to Suwalki?" the tourist asks.
"Yes, it is," says the farmer.
"How far is it?"
"Half an hour by cart."
"May I ride with you?"
"Certainly."
After half an hour, the tourist begins to grow uneasy. "How much further is
it to Suwalki by cart?" he queries.
"Oh, an hour or so."
"What? You told me it was only half an hour away, and we have been
traveling that long already!"
"Yes, but in the opposite direction."
______
Friendship among women:
A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband
she slept over at a friends house. The man calls his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them know about it.
Friendship among men:
A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he
slept over at a friends house. The woman calls her husbands 10 best
friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there
______________
Being a virgin, Bob was very nervous about his upcoming wedding night,
so he decided to seek the advice of his friend John, who was quite the
local Romeo."Just relax, Bob," counseled John. "After all, you grew up
on a farm - just do like the dogs do.
"Right after the honeymoon the bride stormed over to her mother's
house in tears and announced that she wasn't going to live under the
same roof as Bob for even one more night."
He's totally disgusting!" she wailed. At first Bob's bride resisted her
mother's attempts to find out the exact nature of the problem,
but finally she broke down. "Ma, he doesn't know anything at all
about how to be romantic, how to make love. . he just keeps smelling
my ass and pissing on the bedpost!"
_________________
The husband and wife were undressing one night when she said,
"Joyce and Mary were talking about their husbands' anatomy
today. Joyce said that her husband filled out his shorts so
well that they hired him to model Jockey shorts."
Her husband said, "So?"
"hen Mary said her husband gets so long and hard that they hired him to model condoms."
"I hope you stood up for me," he said.
"I did," his wife replied. "I told them you could be a model, too."
"Thank you."
"If," she went on, "anybody needed a model for a cocktail wiener."
___________
His girlfriend's father was interviewing young Charles.
"So," said that impressive personage, "you want to be my
son-in-law, do you?"
"Not particularly," said Charles tactlessly, "but if I want to
marry your daughter I haven't much choice, have I?"
____________
Irish Alzheimer's
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted
when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I
am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I
misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that
McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes
to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off
his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of
Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat.
What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I
decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about
'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without the hat
than burn in Hell, right?"
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, "No, Father, after ya talked about
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."
______________
BUFFALO Bill
Mr. Faggot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42609.htm
Internet Changed My Life
http://www.buffaloschips.com/80310.htm
Fishing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/80311.htm
____________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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