THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The first requirement for growth
In self understanding is an unswerving
Commitment to honesty with one's self.
No one can break our chains for us,
We have to do this for ourselves.
~Elizabeth O'Connor~
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was watching Good morning America the other morning and they
had a feature story about a mother, a 2 year old baby, a doggie
door, and a swimming pool. You guessed it. The baby had crawled
thru the doggie door, got out and had drown in the swimming pool.
I don't want to call anyone "stupid" and loss of life is always
tragic. But yep, you guessed it, the mother is suing the manufacturer
of the doggie door. Strange as it might seem, the mother is
holding the maker responsible because, "There were no warning
labels" on the product. "I had no idea that this was a possibility."
What's wrong with this picture? When you
have a toddler, you have to make sure ALL doors are locked in order
to protect your child. The mother blubbered her story on the air.
And the reporters told about her multi million dollar law suit.
I think I am going to file a law suit myself. I was pounding nails
with my hammer yesterday and I hit my thumb and it hurt. The
manufacturer of the hammer didn't put any warning labels
on the hammer, warning me of the possibility.
I wonder if I can win a few million that way.
I just wanted to mention to you folks that PAPA Thorn is back!
Thorn has been one of my guest editors for a long time and I have
always carried his links and humor at the end of the page. We have
missed him for a while because his computer has been on the fritz.
But he is back now, and I encourage all of you to visit his links!
In fact, why don't you subscribe to 1 or all of his 4 great
publications? They are all FREE and I recommend each one!
OVER THE EDGE
Humor not for the fainthearted!
Over 18 only need apply.
send a blank email to:
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NO HOLDS BARRED
Presents a dose of cartoons and a few jokes
All over 18 welcome!
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NoHoldsBarred-subscribe@Topica.com
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NEKIA'S JOKES
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
300 emails
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c020.html
why is it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c021.html
a ball park
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c023.html
elevator music
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c024.html
golfing in Australia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c025.html
the original gps system
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c026.html
a second opinion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c027.html
the guru says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c028.html
my favorite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c029.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
faster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5523.html
International whistle contest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5524.html
he's a jolly good fellow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5525.html
metal gear Johnny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5526.html
football's for girls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5527.html
scary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5528.html
A newly wed couple were looking to decorate their new house.
While bargain hunting, they found an unusual mirror, which the shop owner
said is "magical". The couple buy the mirror, and place it on the back of
their bedroom door. One day the wife decided to test the mirror out,
and while looking into the mirror said:"Mirror, mirror on the door,
Make my boobs size 44." And lo and behold it came true!
She ran down the stairs to show her husband, who was utterly amazed.
He proceeded to run up to the bedroom,and while looking in the mirror he said:
"Mirror, mirror on the door, Make my penis touch the floor."
And then his legs fell off.
__________
Little Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a
sentence using the words, "bitter end" in it.
Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies,
"Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end."
____________
As I mature, with my gray hair and character lines, I am
noticing more and more girls interested in me. One asked me,
if my hair was real. I told her, "Would anyone buy hair like
this? Another wanted to know if my teeth were mine. I told her,
"Certainly they are mine. I just made the last payment."
But, all seriousness aside, more and more girls are giving me the
once over. Once they look at me, its all over
_____________
I have a little poem, I'll try to make it quick;
The subject is quite simple: the joy of owning dick.
A penis is a splendid thing; you ladies should be jealous.
An organ with such lovely skin, it's smooth and mostly hairless.
It starts to grow so quickly when a guy's about thirteen,
His testicles on either side, his willy in between.
It dangles neatly down below; it's softly warm and loyal.
But at the slightest hint of lust, it's ready to uncoil.
It seems to have a mind all of its own; it's like an untamed beast,
It squirms and writhes and stretches out, just when you 'spect it least.
Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves, erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off, and then I wish it wouldn't.
During summer, wearing little, sunning on the beach,
A glimpse of wobbly boobs or bums will make it squirm and reach.
But handle it with love and cae, for it will give great pleasure.
I often check if it has grown - now when did I last measure?
Some men will fret about their size: they give it lots of thought;
Is seven inches long enough? It makes them quite distraught.
They sneak a look in toilets, wondering what they'll see,
But if another glances back at them, there's no way they can pee!
Masturbating is a sin - at least some folks believe.
That's just some old wives' tale, 'cause it really can relieve.
Without this super organ, no shag would be complete.
Lesbians can try their best, but must admit defeat.
It has some splendid functions, I'm sure you will agree:
To start a whole new life, and more than that - to pee!
But what seems most amazing about my one-eyed flute,
Whatever it is doing, it knows which juice to shoot.
And better yet, it stays with one, until one's old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though, or you'll be thrown in jail.
_____________
A lady and a gentleman were arguing on every subject they discussed.
Said the lady, "Sir, we cannot agree on a single thing."
You are wrong, Madam," he said. "If you should go into a room in
which there were two beds, one with a woman in it and the other with a
man in it, with whom would you sleep?"
"Why, with the lady, of course."
"You see: so would I."
______________
A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed.
He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned.
Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn't feel too well. The son replied,
"Well, don't worry a bit about dinner. I'll be happy to carry you down to the stove."
______________
One year, Jim's family was having the "extended family Fourth of July cookout"
at their home. One of the special treats that year was the lighting of the
fireworks they had bought out of state, because they're illegal in their state,
of course! Just before they were to arrive, a cousin calls, saying his neighbor's
plans had just fallen through and could they bring them along to the picnic.
They even had extra food to bring.
"Sure, the more the merrier!"
Upon arrival and meeting their cousin's neighbor, it is discovered that he's a
police officer. The father turns as innocently as he can to Jim and whispers to
him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them
somewhere quickly. Jim disappears and the father changes the topic to food for the day.
This family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father tells them the gas
grill is all set to use out back.
"Just turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed."
They head out to the back as Jim comes back in through the front door.
The father hurries to him and says, "Whew, that was close! That man's a police
officer and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?"
"Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!"
____________
PAPA Thorn
Honesty
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Honesty-2.jpg
Prize bird
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=HumanFoodx015.jpg
Jug eyes (wait for it)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=JUG-EYES.gif
Ball kockers
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Knockers.jpg
Lean on me
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Lean-On.jpg
___________
BUFFALO BILL
1 Piece bikini
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghygh.htm
2 Cokes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjklj.htm
Double Asscrack
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrll.htm
_________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Turtix Game
http://tinyurl.com/amo79g
Are You A Serial Killer?
http://tinyurl.com/cjbrm8
Bounty Killers
http://tinyurl.com/qf64rz
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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